If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   If you've ever wanted blueprints of the rebel ships from Star Wars, here ya go   (io9.com) divider line 59
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

7059 clicks; posted to Geek » on 29 Dec 2012 at 7:14 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-29 05:39:13 PM  
Ever?

cdn103.iofferphoto.com
 
2012-12-29 06:18:01 PM  

fusillade762: Ever?

[cdn103.iofferphoto.com image 850x633]


Yup...this.

I got a set of those in my stocking one Christmas.  It turned out,to be my favorite present that year.  I wanted to actually try building one of them.  As a boy, I had ambition, not smarts.
 
2012-12-29 06:56:06 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
No weight requirement for x-wing pilots which is not reflected in those faux blueprints.
 
2012-12-29 06:57:16 PM  
Many Bothans died to bring us this information.
 
2012-12-29 07:23:00 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: No weight requirement for x-wing pilots which is not reflected in those faux blueprints.


Stay on target ... stay on target ... it didn't go in ... just impacted on the surface ...


/watched Star Wars with a guy who had never seen it before - didn't realize how gay it was.
 
2012-12-29 07:31:29 PM  
I'm waiting for an engineer and a physics geek to tear the blueprints apart and tell us why they won't work.
 
2012-12-29 07:37:31 PM  

diaphoresis: I'm waiting for an engineer and a physics geek to tear the blueprints apart and tell us why they won't work.


That won't happen with these - they're not blueprints, just line drawings of the exterior.
 
2012-12-29 07:42:00 PM  
diaphoresis: You're joking, right?
 
2012-12-29 07:52:34 PM  
How about linking to the actual site instead of another piece of shiat gawker site? Why do we still have this shiat?
 
2012-12-29 07:54:17 PM  
Can you get me some super star destroyer plans or deathstar plans?
 
2012-12-29 07:55:26 PM  
CSB time...

As a kid, the only reason I knew Star Wars was coming out was because I bugged my Grandpa into buying me Starlog #7, which had awesome blueprints of the Space:1999 Eagle in it. The cover story was about some little sci-fi movie coming out soon called "Star Wars"

Saw it 4 times that year, three in the theater, one as a bootleg at somebody's condo in California (back then, people would have parties around the event and we watched on a fancy "big screen" CRT Rear Projection TV)
 
2012-12-29 08:03:05 PM  

fusillade762: Ever?

[cdn103.iofferphoto.com image 850x633]


No barcode. Nice.
 
2012-12-29 08:18:45 PM  
Well... they would be useful for me if I wanted to build any of the Star Trek vehicles in 3D, but I've only been building my own designs lately. :)

Still neat though.
 
2012-12-29 08:20:41 PM  
No dimensions, no part numbers, no assembly views... no blueprints.
 
2012-12-29 08:29:57 PM  

Randal Graves: [talking about the second Death Star] "A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. "


Dante Hicks: "Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at... "


Randal Graves: "Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms. "


Dante Hicks: "All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction? "


Randal Graves: "All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed - casualties of a war they had nothing to do with.


[notices Dante's confusion]


Randal Graves: "All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living. "

 
2012-12-29 08:41:42 PM  

skinink: Randal Graves: [talking about the second Death Star] "A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. "
Dante Hicks: "Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at... "
Randal Graves: "Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms. "
Dante Hicks: "All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction? "
Randal Graves: "All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed - casualties of a war they had nothing to do with.
[notices Dante's confusion]
Randal Graves: "All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living. "


The second Death Star was made a few years after the first one annihilated a whole planet simply to prove a point. The contractors knew damn well what they were doing, so the "just trying to scrape out a living" argument is pure BS.
 
2012-12-29 08:45:54 PM  
Already got it

img.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-29 08:50:46 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: The second Death Star was made a few years after the first one annihilated a whole planet simply to prove a point. The contractors knew damn well what they were doing, so the "just trying to scrape out a living" argument is pure BS.


And the second Death Star was fully operational when it went into the battle of Endor, It's doubtful here were any workers there at all.
 
2012-12-29 08:53:43 PM  
www.mediabistro.com
 
2012-12-29 08:59:10 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: skinink: Randal Graves: [talking about the second Death Star] "A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers. "
Dante Hicks: "Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at... "
Randal Graves: "Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms. "
Dante Hicks: "All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction? "
Randal Graves: "All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed - casualties of a war they had nothing to do with.
[notices Dante's confusion]
Randal Graves: "All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living. "

The second Death Star was made a few years after the first one annihilated a whole planet simply to prove a point. The contractors knew damn well what they were doing, so the "just trying to scrape out a living" argument is pure BS.


Then you're really going to like the rest of that scene:

Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
Randal: Like when?
Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
Dante: Whose house was it?
Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.
Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?
Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
Dante: Based on personal politics.
Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.
Randal: No way!
Blue-Collar Man: (paying for coffee) I'm alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. (pauses to reflect) You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this... (taps his heart) not his wallet.
 
2012-12-29 09:06:06 PM  

LesserEvil: CSB time...

As a kid, the only reason I knew Star Wars was coming out was because I bugged my Grandpa into buying me Starlog #7, which had awesome blueprints of the Space:1999 Eagle in it. The cover story was about some little sci-fi movie coming out soon called "Star Wars"

Saw it 4 times that year, three in the theater, one as a bootleg at somebody's condo in California (back then, people would have parties around the event and we watched on a fancy "big screen" CRT Rear Projection TV)


Four times? Wimp. I think I saw it 50 times before it left the last theater. (It was the only movie anyone wanted to watch that year.)
 
2012-12-29 09:07:32 PM  

fusillade762: Ever?

[cdn103.iofferphoto.com image 850x633]


Came here to say this.
 
2012-12-29 09:14:02 PM  

Ed Grubermann: LesserEvil: CSB time...

As a kid, the only reason I knew Star Wars was coming out was because I bugged my Grandpa into buying me Starlog #7, which had awesome blueprints of the Space:1999 Eagle in it. The cover story was about some little sci-fi movie coming out soon called "Star Wars"

Saw it 4 times that year, three in the theater, one as a bootleg at somebody's condo in California (back then, people would have parties around the event and we watched on a fancy "big screen" CRT Rear Projection TV)

Four times? Wimp. I think I saw it 50 times before it left the last theater. (It was the only movie anyone wanted to watch that year.)


Well, when you are 11 years old and live in the country, you are at the mercy of your parents, who might not share your obsession with Science Fiction.
 
2012-12-29 09:24:06 PM  

Ed Grubermann: LesserEvil: CSB time...

As a kid, the only reason I knew Star Wars was coming out was because I bugged my Grandpa into buying me Starlog #7, which had awesome blueprints of the Space:1999 Eagle in it. The cover story was about some little sci-fi movie coming out soon called "Star Wars"

Saw it 4 times that year, three in the theater, one as a bootleg at somebody's condo in California (back then, people would have parties around the event and we watched on a fancy "big screen" CRT Rear Projection TV)

Four times? Wimp. I think I saw it 50 times before it left the last theater. (It was the only movie anyone wanted to watch that year.)


It seemed like the movie would never leave the theater. I remember walking by the movie place and Star Wars was still on the marquee. Nowadays I'm lucky to see a movie stay in the theaters for longer than a month.
 
2012-12-29 09:24:50 PM  

Ed Grubermann: LesserEvil: CSB time...

As a kid, the only reason I knew Star Wars was coming out was because I bugged my Grandpa into buying me Starlog #7, which had awesome blueprints of the Space:1999 Eagle in it. The cover story was about some little sci-fi movie coming out soon called "Star Wars"

Saw it 4 times that year, three in the theater, one as a bootleg at somebody's condo in California (back then, people would have parties around the event and we watched on a fancy "big screen" CRT Rear Projection TV)

Four times? Wimp. I think I saw it 50 times before it left the last theater. (It was the only movie anyone wanted to watch that year.)


Was dating the projectionist's daughter at the local place running it. Was seeing 4-5 times a week.
 
2012-12-29 09:31:56 PM  

AtlanticCoast63: Ed Grubermann: LesserEvil: CSB time...

As a kid, the only reason I knew Star Wars was coming out was because I bugged my Grandpa into buying me Starlog #7, which had awesome blueprints of the Space:1999 Eagle in it. The cover story was about some little sci-fi movie coming out soon called "Star Wars"

Saw it 4 times that year, three in the theater, one as a bootleg at somebody's condo in California (back then, people would have parties around the event and we watched on a fancy "big screen" CRT Rear Projection TV)

Four times? Wimp. I think I saw it 50 times before it left the last theater. (It was the only movie anyone wanted to watch that year.)

Was dating the projectionist's daughter at the local place running it. Was seeing 4-5 times a week.


You win.
 
2012-12-29 09:42:49 PM  
I wonder how long it takes for this guy to get slapped with a C&D?

Or is there some reason why this isn't copyright infringement? I suppose they are so bad you could argue that they're parody...
 
2012-12-29 09:43:54 PM  
tctechcrunch2011.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-29 09:46:20 PM  
Cool except when you consider that the "blue" in blueprints comes from potassium hexacyanoferrate and iron ammonium citrate, which was the only way to make reproductions from ink-on-vellum drawings prior to the 1960s. Think a civilization with advanced robotics and computing could figure out a way to make better reproductions that that?
 
2012-12-29 09:58:35 PM  

LesserEvil: Ed Grubermann: LesserEvil: CSB time...

As a kid, the only reason I knew Star Wars was coming out was because I bugged my Grandpa into buying me Starlog #7, which had awesome blueprints of the Space:1999 Eagle in it. The cover story was about some little sci-fi movie coming out soon called "Star Wars"

Saw it 4 times that year, three in the theater, one as a bootleg at somebody's condo in California (back then, people would have parties around the event and we watched on a fancy "big screen" CRT Rear Projection TV)

Four times? Wimp. I think I saw it 50 times before it left the last theater. (It was the only movie anyone wanted to watch that year.)

Well, when you are 11 years old and live in the country, you are at the mercy of your parents, who might not share your obsession with Science Fiction.


I rode my bicycle 5 miles to see RoTJ when it first came out. It seemed a lot farther than that when I was 13.
 
2012-12-29 10:10:32 PM  
skinink:  "All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living. "

I read that in this guy's voice:


i162.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-29 10:42:19 PM  

diaphoresis: I'm waiting for an engineer and a physics geek to tear the blueprints apart and tell us why they won't work.


Head off to stardestroyer.net for a surprise


Also, i had this shiat back in the west end games era. Screw you, io9.
 
2012-12-29 10:47:12 PM  
Anyone got the plans to building a drive unit less than the size of a phone booth that could power a ship the size of an F-14 not only into space but capable of inter-solar range travel. Oh, and only capable of vertical takeoff.

/I just used the phrase phone booth as a reference size and felt old
 
2012-12-29 10:50:29 PM  

Fano: diaphoresis: I'm waiting for an engineer and a physics geek to tear the blueprints apart and tell us why they won't work.

Head off to stardestroyer.net for a surprise


Also, i had this shiat back in the west end games era. Screw you, io9.


Wow... not what I expected!

/kisses
 
2012-12-29 10:53:25 PM  

CruiserTwelve: skinink:  "All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living. "

I read that in this guy's voice:


[i162.photobucket.com image 800x429]



Funny, I read it in this guys voice

images-mediawiki-sites.thefullwiki.org

/watch out for salsa sharks.
 
2012-12-29 11:35:22 PM  
Wait, first let me go back in time thirty years....
okay,
cool
 
2012-12-30 12:27:49 AM  

StrangeQ: How about linking to the actual site instead of another piece of shiat gawker site? Why do we still have this shiat?


I love the Good, Bad, and Ugly prints.
 
2012-12-30 12:58:02 AM  

StrangeQ: How about linking to the actual site instead of another piece of shiat gawker site? Why do we still have this shiat?


Because Fark gets paid per click-through, I'd imagine.

/seriously though: fark you, subby
//brain cancer; I wish upon you brain cancer
 
2012-12-30 12:58:17 AM  

StrangeQ: How about linking to the actual site instead of another piece of shiat gawker site? Why do we still have this shiat?


sponsors or partners or something MONEY
 
2012-12-30 12:59:08 AM  

CruiserTwelve: skinink:  "All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia - this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living. "

I read that in this guy's voice:


[i162.photobucket.com image 800x429]


is twelve your age?
 
2012-12-30 03:23:50 AM  

TimeCubeFan: No dimensions, no part numbers, no assembly views... no blueprints.


Heck, I'd be happy with an indented bill of materials.
 
2012-12-30 03:43:01 AM  
Was dating the projectionist's daughter at the local place running it. Was seeing 4-5 times a week.

Ed Grubermann: You win.


Just for the dating a girl part! Seeing the movie so often = Bonus.
 
2012-12-30 04:12:28 AM  
I don't think that these people know what blueprints are.
 
2012-12-30 04:29:54 AM  

Macular Degenerate: Cool except when you consider that the "blue" in blueprints comes from potassium hexacyanoferrate and iron ammonium citrate, which was the only way to make reproductions from ink-on-vellum drawings prior to the 1960s. Think a civilization with advanced robotics and computing could figure out a way to make better reproductions that that?


You'd think that, but then you'd see how far their technology regressed in the time it took Vader's kids to grow up. Also, what the hell is a falcon?
 
2012-12-30 05:08:36 AM  

wildcardjack: Anyone got the plans to building a drive unit less than the size of a phone booth that could power a ship the size of an F-14 not only into space but capable of inter-solar range travel. Oh, and only capable of vertical takeoff.

/I just used the phrase phone booth as a reference size and felt old


Well sure. Which model do you want? I've got dozens.

But you ain't going anywhere without S-foils and I have no clue where you can pick them up.
 
2012-12-30 05:48:09 AM  

ilikeracecars: Macular Degenerate: Cool except when you consider that the "blue" in blueprints comes from potassium hexacyanoferrate and iron ammonium citrate, which was the only way to make reproductions from ink-on-vellum drawings prior to the 1960s. Think a civilization with advanced robotics and computing could figure out a way to make better reproductions that that?

You'd think that, but then you'd see how far their technology regressed in the time it took Vader's kids to grow up. Also, what the hell is a falcon?


Its a problem when they revisit any old story with prequels (and it was especially bad in prometheus). The future as envisioned then was less futuristic than we see it now. So in the producers attempt to make things more current they make it seem as if technology regressed between the new beginning and the older ending.

Technology in star wars pretty much hit its maximum level then became commonplace and simplified to the point where anyone can fly any starship without so much as reading a manual (Just look at Luke as he goes from flying the equivalent of a crop duster to being a ace in their top of their line F-22 space raptor... did they even brief him on which buttons did what?!).

Producers these days can't resist the glow of all those yet to be invented holographic touch panels that were even less not-invented in the 70's.
 
2012-12-30 06:08:33 AM  
Nose cone, Thrust engine, laser cannon.

Can someone translate into layman's terms please. These are way too detailed and technical.
 
2012-12-30 06:29:05 AM  
funny, i read that in this guys voice:

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-30 06:38:58 AM  

Fano: diaphoresis: I'm waiting for an engineer and a physics geek to tear the blueprints apart and tell us why they won't work.

Head off to stardestroyer.net for a surprise


Also, i had this shiat back in the west end games era. Screw you, io9.


WEG's Star Wars RPG was the only one I ever recognized as being worthy the designation. Loved all the specs I could find on the really obscure stuff. practically wore out the Death Star guide book.
 
2012-12-30 08:10:14 AM  

way south: Its a problem when they revisit any old story with prequels (and it was especially bad in prometheus). The future as envisioned then was less futuristic than we see it now. So in the producers attempt to make things more current they make it seem as if technology regressed between the new beginning and the older ending.


Or it could be that int he original trilogy, all we saw were rebel hideouts, military bases and a gangster's lair. Bespin looked fancy enough. In the prequels, the sets were the capital planet, Naboo, the cloning facility and the trade federation, so of course everything is going to look shinier and more advanced. Tattooine still looked crappy.
 
2012-12-30 08:24:01 AM  

Mugato: Bith Set Me Up: The second Death Star was made a few years after the first one annihilated a whole planet simply to prove a point. The contractors knew damn well what they were doing, so the "just trying to scrape out a living" argument is pure BS.

And the second Death Star was fully operational when it went into the battle of Endor, It's doubtful here were any workers there at all.


No, the main weapon was operational, not the full station. The superstructure was no where near complete. There were probably tons of workers still there.

\Though honestly they probably used droids for construction anyways
 
2012-12-30 08:52:02 AM  

taurusowner: No, the main weapon was operational, not the full station. The superstructure was no where near complete. There were probably tons of workers still there.

\Though honestly they probably used droids for construction anyways


I figured they left it like that to make it look like it wasn't operational. And in the real military do they bring construction people along when they're going into battle? Anyway, if they did bring workers along, one pipe across that tunnel would have farked the rebels up.
 
2012-12-30 10:10:05 AM  

skinink: Ed Grubermann: LesserEvil: CSB time...

As a kid, the only reason I knew Star Wars was coming out was because I bugged my Grandpa into buying me Starlog #7, which had awesome blueprints of the Space:1999 Eagle in it. The cover story was about some little sci-fi movie coming out soon called "Star Wars"

Saw it 4 times that year, three in the theater, one as a bootleg at somebody's condo in California (back then, people would have parties around the event and we watched on a fancy "big screen" CRT Rear Projection TV)

Four times? Wimp. I think I saw it 50 times before it left the last theater. (It was the only movie anyone wanted to watch that year.)

It seemed like the movie would never leave the theater. I remember walking by the movie place and Star Wars was still on the marquee. Nowadays I'm lucky to see a movie stay in the theaters for longer than a month.


This.

I still remember the movie page in the paper: "75th Big Week!"
 
2012-12-30 10:54:57 AM  
Not so much blueprints as line drawings using white on blue. Blueprints often have dimensions and all kind of doodads.
 
2012-12-30 01:06:33 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Many Bothans died to bring us this information.


Came here for the Bothans.
 
2012-12-30 01:10:18 PM  

JammerJim: mitchcumstein1: Many Bothans died to bring us this information.

Came here for the Bothans.


So did the stormtroopers.
 
2012-12-30 03:53:40 PM  
Better....

Link
 
2012-12-30 04:19:18 PM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
bimg1.mlstatic.com
 
2012-12-30 04:38:11 PM  

mitchcumstein1: Many Bothans died to bring us this information.


WIN.
 
Displayed 59 of 59 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report