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(Doubtful News)   If there weren't enough things in Florida to freak out about, here is 17 feet more of scariness   (doubtfulnews.com) divider line 35
    More: Scary, Burmese  
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13405 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2012 at 1:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-29 01:32:50 PM  
ESL Subby?
 
2012-12-29 01:38:49 PM  
Won't the snakes eventually solve our Florida problem? Why are they shooting them?
 
2012-12-29 01:38:50 PM  
It's not dead until the sun goes down. Or if it loops up into a hoop and rolls away. Or if they can get it to eat its tail and it disappears altogether. These are the only ways. Because if you chop it half, you'll just have two.
 
2012-12-29 01:40:01 PM  
I'm a Sssssssnnaaake!

I'm a Sssssssnnaaake!

Ssssssuck my dick!

I'm a Sssssssnnaaake!
 
2012-12-29 01:40:45 PM  
"here is 17 feet more of scariness"

as I undid my zipper...
 
2012-12-29 01:51:41 PM  
Is Python good to eat?

Cos they could get some tubesteak meat off that bad boy.
 
2012-12-29 01:51:57 PM  
Scary? I see some mighty fine new boots in the making.
 
2012-12-29 01:56:10 PM  
TFV: "Next month Florida game officials will hold a hunting contest offering a $15,000 prize to the person who kills the most pythons."


That's sure to end well...
 
2012-12-29 01:57:22 PM  
Some lawmakers wish to enact bans on importation of certain kinds of snake.


Yep, better get those barn doors closed.
 
2012-12-29 01:59:36 PM  

orclover: Some lawmakers wish to enact bans on importation of certain kinds of snake.

Yep, better get those barn doors closed.



Hey Floriduh, yer barn door's open
 
2012-12-29 02:07:21 PM  
2 python links in a row?
 
2012-12-29 02:12:17 PM  
"I've got 17 feet of scariness back at my place" is one of my favorite pickup lines.

/10% of the time it works every time
 
2012-12-29 02:15:15 PM  
Scary?

Average annual deaths from animal attacks in the U.S.: Bee/Wasp 53, Dogs 31, Spider 6.5, Rattlesnake 5.5, Mountain lion 1, Shark 1, Alligator 0.3, Bear 0.5, Scorpion 0.5, Centipede 0.5, Elephant 0.25, Wolf 0.1, Horse 20, Bull 3, Python/other constrictor 0.6

Meanwhile, about 1,000 people in Florida are killed every year by .... Floridians.

So, not really that much of a monster, just a large, mainly harmless critter.
 
2012-12-29 02:26:57 PM  

mbillips: Scary?

Average annual deaths from animal attacks in the U.S.: Bee/Wasp 53, Dogs 31, Spider 6.5, Rattlesnake 5.5, Mountain lion 1, Shark 1, Alligator 0.3, Bear 0.5, Scorpion 0.5, Centipede 0.5, Elephant 0.25, Wolf 0.1, Horse 20, Bull 3, Python/other constrictor 0.6

Meanwhile, about 1,000 people in Florida are killed every year by .... Floridians.

So, not really that much of a monster, just a large, mainly harmless critter.


You are technically correct, which is the best kind of correct.....however. Think of the numbers and how early we are in the game. Pythons have only become a problem in the last few years since they were released as unwanted pets, and they are starting to breed. We wont see a real massive population for another decade or two when their numbers really get going after feeding off the local gators and toddlers. Now jump forward a few hundred egg cycles into 30 years from now and we get the yearly "kids ate by pythons" story. Trying to cull them out completely through taking off the social leash (go kill em all for rewards!) is a desperate gambit and very unlikely to work but at least makes it look like the politicians are doing something (nothing). This is Florida's hog problem, and its just now getting some steam.
 
2012-12-29 02:35:50 PM  
I very rarely see an article as poorly written as this one was. Presumably the editor and author are mentally retarded.
 
2012-12-29 02:38:31 PM  
foodcourtlunch.com
 
2012-12-29 02:50:15 PM  
timenewsfeed.files.wordpress.com

Someone get these motherfarking snakes out of this motherfarking park!!
 
2012-12-29 02:55:21 PM  
Burmese pythons are really no threat to humans.

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2012-12-29 03:46:39 PM  

spmkk: TFV: "Next month Florida game officials will hold a hunting contest offering a $15,000 prize to the person who kills the most pythons."


Yet it is still legal to import pythons while at the same time people are still being criminally charged with killing pythons:

Link

WTF
 
2012-12-29 03:53:32 PM  

spmkk: TFV: "Next month Florida game officials will hold a hunting contest offering a $15,000 prize to the person who kills the most pythons."


That's sure to end well...


Dead Floridians? That's just the bonus prize.
 
2012-12-29 04:03:31 PM  

orclover: mbillips: Scary?

Average annual deaths from animal attacks in the U.S.: Bee/Wasp 53, Dogs 31, Spider 6.5, Rattlesnake 5.5, Mountain lion 1, Shark 1, Alligator 0.3, Bear 0.5, Scorpion 0.5, Centipede 0.5, Elephant 0.25, Wolf 0.1, Horse 20, Bull 3, Python/other constrictor 0.6

Meanwhile, about 1,000 people in Florida are killed every year by .... Floridians.

So, not really that much of a monster, just a large, mainly harmless critter.

You are technically correct, which is the best kind of correct.....however. Think of the numbers and how early we are in the game. Pythons have only become a problem in the last few years since they were released as unwanted pets, and they are starting to breed. We wont see a real massive population for another decade or two when their numbers really get going after feeding off the local gators and toddlers. Now jump forward a few hundred egg cycles into 30 years from now and we get the yearly "kids ate by pythons" story. Trying to cull them out completely through taking off the social leash (go kill em all for rewards!) is a desperate gambit and very unlikely to work but at least makes it look like the politicians are doing something (nothing). This is Florida's hog problem, and its just now getting some steam.


Actually, a properly set bounty (high enough to make it worth your time to hunt them, but low enough that breeding them isn't worth it) would knock the population down fairly quickly.
 
2012-12-29 04:18:48 PM  
Are your whiskers
When you wake
Tougher than
A two-bit steak?
Burma-Snake

/Burmese Python
 
2012-12-29 04:51:52 PM  

CreampuffCasperMilktoast: Are your whiskers
When you wake
Tougher than
A two-bit steak?
Burma-Snake

/Burmese Python


I believe they are called "Myanmarese Pythons" now.
 
2012-12-29 05:38:35 PM  

dittybopper: Actually, a properly set bounty (high enough to make it worth your time to hunt them, but low enough that breeding them isn't worth it) would knock the population down fairly quickly.


I can't imagine a bounty high enough to make it  worth my time to hunt pythons IN THE FARKING EVERGLADES but low enough that breeding them isn't worth it.  A Burmese lays between 18 and 36 eggs and tends them herself.  There's not much for the human to do.
 
2012-12-29 06:09:44 PM  
Florida: America's Australia.
 
2012-12-29 07:02:58 PM  
I myself drank like 5 liters of beer...each drink was like 6 dollars 40.
 
2012-12-29 07:41:16 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: dittybopper: Actually, a properly set bounty (high enough to make it worth your time to hunt them, but low enough that breeding them isn't worth it) would knock the population down fairly quickly.

I can't imagine a bounty high enough to make it  worth my time to hunt pythons IN THE FARKING EVERGLADES but low enough that breeding them isn't worth it.  A Burmese lays between 18 and 36 eggs and tends them herself.  There's not much for the human to do.


Set a minimum length for a full bounty. That way you remove the breeders.
 
2012-12-29 08:27:48 PM  

Jument: Florida: America's Australia.


Glad I live where such things would die from the cold...

/ really don't like snakes
// we do have mountain lions & bears, however...
 
2012-12-29 08:52:39 PM  

dittybopper: Actually, a properly set bounty (high enough to make it worth your time to hunt them, but low enough that breeding them isn't worth it) would knock the population down fairly quickly.


Bounties cost Tax dollars, and this is Florida. They dont breed like hog's thank god, or we would run out of Floridians in about 30 years as the Pythons run out of other things to eat.
 
2012-12-29 10:06:25 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: dittybopper: Actually, a properly set bounty (high enough to make it worth your time to hunt them, but low enough that breeding them isn't worth it) would knock the population down fairly quickly.

I can't imagine a bounty high enough to make it  worth my time to hunt pythons IN THE FARKING EVERGLADES but low enough that breeding them isn't worth it.  A Burmese lays between 18 and 36 eggs and tends them herself.  There's not much for the human to do.


The last time I lived in Bangkok they were still breeding mosquitos (including, presumably, anopheles) for sale as fish bait. Meanwhile malaria and dengue continue to be major health concerns, especially for children, in the city.

But at least they were not averse to sleeping under mosquito nets, unlike the Indonesians. Nuts.

Malaria is nasty stuff. Makes you a little crazy as well.
 
2012-12-30 02:06:53 AM  
I know it's necessary, but it always makes me sad.

*cuddles my 17-foot Burmese python*

It's not the pythons' fault, they're just doing what they do. And it wasn't pet owners, not completely, since the number of them releasing pets wouldn't have allowed a population to get established. Hurricane Andrew damaged and destroyed many pet stores and reptile farms, it's most likely that the pythons that were freed by the hurricane are the founders.
 
2012-12-30 11:55:08 AM  
Some lawmakers wish to enact bans on certain kinds of snake.

Some of us who have brains down in the Sunshine State have been yelling for them to do that nationally for decades. Americans apparently feel they can have any form of 'pet' they want with little regard to the potential dangers involved if they get loose.

When the first constrictors turned up slithering around neighborhoods, a little over 20 years ago, folks yelled for restrictions on their importation back then.

You see how well the legislation listened.

It took almost 100 years of determined hunting to put the Florida Alligator on the endangered list. For a brief period, Floridians could swim in lakes, ponds and rivers without fearing something big and primitive, with lots of teeth and a huge appetite would appear and drag them to their deaths.

Within 20 years of becoming protected, the 'gator made a full comeback and now is farmed for profit, meaning you don't take a dip in any pond unless you've thoroughly checked it out.

Now, we have the even stealthier constrictors to contend with and their numbers have exploded. Unlike gators, they don't obviously lay around in the sun, basking. They keep to shadowy areas and can lurk nearly unseen in lakes.

Florida is also infested with Iguana's, which can grow to a surprising size and while not lethal to humans, can inflict a nasty bite and devastate the population of local birds and small animals.

I keep waiting for the lethal poisonous snakes to show up, like the Cobra, Bushmaster and Black Mamba. Idiots have already been caught raising the deadly things in their basements.

Twenty-five years back I caught a small Lionfish in a cast net in the Indian River Lagoon. It wasn't supposed to be there. Now, I read about an increasing invasion of these venomous pincushions along the coastal waters, so they're probably making their way into the lagoon through the inlets. Most of the major inlets are man made.

If I were younger, I'd move out of the state, which has become increasingly trashed, crowded and an ecological disaster area since the 70's.

The 70's were not a good year for Florida.
 
2012-12-30 01:51:36 PM  

WeenerGord: Is Python good to eat?

Cos they could get some tubesteak meat off that bad boy.


chi_tino: spmkk: TFV: "Next month Florida game officials will hold a hunting contest offering a $15,000 prize to the person who kills the most pythons."


Yet it is still legal to import pythons while at the same time people are still being criminally charged with killing pythons:

Link

WTF


Sounds like the dude butchered his friend's pet snake because "it was evil". Sounds criminal.
 
2012-12-30 06:13:41 PM  

WeenerGord: Is Python good to eat?

Cos they could get some tubesteak meat off that bad boy.


I don't know how they taste, but they concentrate mercury like you wouldn't believe. COMPLETELY unsafe to eat.
 
2012-12-30 08:03:09 PM  

Rik01: Some lawmakers wish to enact bans on certain kinds of snake.

Some of us who have brains down in the Sunshine State have been yelling for them to do that nationally for decades. Americans apparently feel they can have any form of 'pet' they want with little regard to the potential dangers involved if they get loose.

When the first constrictors turned up slithering around neighborhoods, a little over 20 years ago, folks yelled for restrictions on their importation back then.

You see how well the legislation listened.

It took almost 100 years of determined hunting to put the Florida Alligator on the endangered list. For a brief period, Floridians could swim in lakes, ponds and rivers without fearing something big and primitive, with lots of teeth and a huge appetite would appear and drag them to their deaths.

Within 20 years of becoming protected, the 'gator made a full comeback and now is farmed for profit, meaning you don't take a dip in any pond unless you've thoroughly checked it out.

Now, we have the even stealthier constrictors to contend with and their numbers have exploded. Unlike gators, they don't obviously lay around in the sun, basking. They keep to shadowy areas and can lurk nearly unseen in lakes.

Florida is also infested with Iguana's, which can grow to a surprising size and while not lethal to humans, can inflict a nasty bite and devastate the population of local birds and small animals.

I keep waiting for the lethal poisonous snakes to show up, like the Cobra, Bushmaster and Black Mamba. Idiots have already been caught raising the deadly things in their basements.

Twenty-five years back I caught a small Lionfish in a cast net in the Indian River Lagoon. It wasn't supposed to be there. Now, I read about an increasing invasion of these venomous pincushions along the coastal waters, so they're probably making their way into the lagoon through the inlets. Most of the major inlets are man made.

If I were younger, I'd move out of the state, which h ...


This is why humans invented swimming pools.
 
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