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(You are farked)   The BBC offers this advice for anyone in Britain who is attacked on the street: You are permitted to protect yourself with a briefcase, a handbag, or keys. You should shout 'Call the Police' rather than 'Help.' Bystanders are not to help   ( divider line
    More: Amusing, Britain, Portland Police Bureau, Robert Green, kitchen knife, Portland Oregon, imminent threat  
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5577 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2012 at 11:46 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-12-29 09:31:04 AM  
5 votes:
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2012-12-29 11:18:00 AM  
4 votes:
i236.photobucket.comView Full Size
2012-12-29 12:52:40 PM  
3 votes:
This is why we can't have nice teeth.
2012-12-29 11:38:43 AM  
3 votes:
I thought the proper response was "The Doctor will save us!"
2012-12-29 12:31:43 PM  
2 votes:

Vimto: 39 British Subjects agree with subby; 9,763 US Citizens do not.

/The population of the UK is ~20% of that of the US
//Far more likely to have your TV stolen in the UK though, which much be partial consolation for being brutally murdered.

Yeah, but that's just from the BBC's License Vans.
2012-12-29 12:17:46 PM  
2 votes:

Kit Fister: I'm not afraid of anything. I carry a gun as a means of having the proper tools to defend myself if necessary. I carry a pocket knife and a multitool as well. I keep blankets in the truck in winter time, tools, jumper cables, and a fist aid kit.

Be prepared, fear nothing.

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2012-12-29 12:16:56 PM  
2 votes:

Kit Fister: Be prepared, fear nothing.

Your gun doesn't protect you from car accidents, natural disasters, cheating spouses, losing your job, cancer, your loved ones dying, and oh, most people who'd want to shoot you, since you won't be expecting it and won't be fast enough to protect yourself. So what is it you're "prepared" for? Only the scenario in your head where you get to shoot the bad guy and be a hero. Which has much less chance of happening than any of the things I just listed.
2012-12-29 12:13:20 PM  
2 votes:

offmymeds: What if the assailant has a pointed stick?

Release the tiger.

/the tiger does not relish the peach
2012-12-29 11:59:55 AM  
2 votes:
If the British were allowed to carry guns, England would be crime-free, like the US.
2012-12-29 11:53:37 AM  
2 votes:

OtherLittleGuy: I thought the proper response was "The Doctor will save us!"

I thought it was 'Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!'
2012-12-30 12:04:32 AM  
1 vote:

snuff3r: Freedom is not being scared that someone is going to blow your head off whilst youre at the cinema.

(Shrug) STFU and leave your cell phone in your pocket at the cinema, and you won't have anything to worry about.
2012-12-29 02:15:54 PM  
1 vote:

dr-shotgun: [citation not from TFA needed]

I'll bite: Americans are just bumfark retarded. European countries with guns have tiny crime-rates compared to you whackjobs. Scaling populations still embarrasses you, the homicide rate is truly disturbing to me. Go farking google "firearms homicide rates", pick your country of choice, and enjoy the citations. The firearm-related death rate is 40 times higher in the US than the UK. Oh, and your overall murder rates discounting those are four times higher too. Still feel safer? Oh I won't cherry-pick though, let's try a country where it's law for conscription-age men to own at home an assault-rifle and a semi-automatic handgun. Whoops, US citizens are still shooting and killing each other 3 times more than that (Switzerland fyi) Don't forget these are rates btw, so you're not allowed to b-b-but population-size.

So given the name, you're either a troll with paragraph-investment time on your hands (in which case gg) or you're just that thick, in which case please go and play with your toys and have an accident in a secure enclosed space so you don't hurt anyone else on the way out, unlike the psychopaths your cavalier attitudes have so freely and easily armed to come after everyone else.
/walk softly and carry an old heavy-duty maglite, perfectly legal to brain someone with
2012-12-29 01:35:58 PM  
1 vote:
I love reading these threads, not participating mind you, I don't care nearly enough. It is very much like looking at this picture........ Full Size
2012-12-29 01:19:27 PM  
1 vote:
Any of you liberty loving guntards done anything about the TSA, warrant-less wiretapping, or indefinite detention yet? Oh, what's that? You only care about your right to own toys, not actual liberty from tyrannical government? Thought so.

Dead bolts and window locks are pretty effective means of home defense for us non guntards.
2012-12-29 12:40:35 PM  
1 vote:
The Limeys need a license to watch TV. You think their government would grant the the right of self defense?
2012-12-29 12:28:21 PM  
1 vote:
Ah Britain, the country whose citizenry turned their guns to plowshares after WWI and had to come crying to the US for small arms to defend themselves from an invasion after the Luftwaffe came calling.
2012-12-29 12:28:08 PM  
1 vote:
So if i can try to understand the liberal mindset... banning guns is supposed to solve all our societies problems and no one will ever die again ever, but banning drugs has worked out horribly and we should give up the war on drugs completely because laws dont stop criminals. Got it.
2012-12-29 12:20:14 PM  
1 vote:
2012-12-29 12:18:28 PM  
1 vote:

snuff3r: TFA: "the british problem"

You know what you stupid American guntards, have you considered the fact that there a quite a few countries out there where the vast majority don't actually WANT people running around with guns. If you lot want to run around like asstard cowboys, have farking fun. If you seriously want to link gun ownership to freedom, youre a farking moron. Freedom is not being scared that someone is going to blow your head off whilst youre at the cinema. Freedom is not having to be constantly feeling that you're split seconds from having to defend yourselves.

We had our Newtown massacre and the country chose to ban general gun ownership. We've been happier since.

For those of us who own guns, the long and tedious process we have to go through is worth it.

Who said guns? I say we should all be able to walk around with SWORDS. The whole Meiji Restoration thing was a bad idea.
2012-12-29 12:14:56 PM  
1 vote:
Sure signs of a sick and demented society.

Or, put another way, sure signs of a Piers Morgan society.
2012-12-29 12:06:08 PM  
1 vote:
Attacked on the street? Jim'll Fix It!!!
2012-12-29 11:56:50 AM  
1 vote:
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2012-12-29 11:51:29 AM  
1 vote:
Also if you see someone drowning, don't offer help. Police and rescue workers will be by shortly. By then the guy will be well drowned but it'll be a proper recovery.

Yea, there are pictures.
2012-12-29 11:43:34 AM  
1 vote:

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2012-12-29 08:42:46 AM  
1 vote:
Right subs. I'm sure the "information" provided by is completely true and not a large pile of horse shiat.
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