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(Washington Post)   DC bank robber tries to make his getaway using a Red Line subway train. If you know anything about the DC Metro system, this is hilarious   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 34
    More: Amusing, rapid transits, Metro, bank robber, transit police, Silver Spring, K Street, d.c. police, Dan Stessel  
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5197 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2012 at 10:10 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



34 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-29 10:12:54 AM  
Someone should have pushed him in front of the train.

/DNRTFA
 
2012-12-29 10:15:15 AM  
Does it go in a circle or something?
 
2012-12-29 10:16:54 AM  
Thieves use the metro to get away all the time. It usually works and in that neighborhood it's faster than a car.
 
2012-12-29 10:19:26 AM  
The Arresting of Moron 1-2-3
 
2012-12-29 10:22:09 AM  

blatz514: Someone should have pushed him in front of the train.

/DNRTFA


People like you can't read, so it's OK.
 
2012-12-29 10:25:19 AM  
He should've waited for the RUSH train service to start.
 
2012-12-29 10:25:42 AM  
Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?
 
2012-12-29 10:29:06 AM  

Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?


During non-RUSH hours it can take upwards of ten minutes for a train to come. It's not like other metro lines like in NY or Chicago.
 
2012-12-29 10:32:21 AM  
He was apprehended when he was spotted earing French Fries on the platform.
 
2012-12-29 10:32:26 AM  

Littledevil8701: Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?

During non-RUSH hours it can take upwards of ten minutes for a train to come. It's not like other metro lines like in NY or Chicago.


In addition, the Red line is notorious for delays and/or service breakdowns
 
2012-12-29 10:34:32 AM  

mat catastrophe: blatz514: Someone should have pushed him in front of the train.

/DNRTFA

People like you can't read, so it's OK.


Zing?
 
2012-12-29 10:43:43 AM  
Paging Spike "You disrespek' my people" Lee.
 
2012-12-29 10:50:49 AM  
He would have been better served making his getaway on the back of a donkey.

it was 50/50 whether or not the train would break down and he'd have to walk on the tracks to the next station.

My first experience with subways was Tokyo, so the DC system is like going back in time 100 years.
 
2012-12-29 10:52:13 AM  

Kentucky Fried Children: Littledevil8701: Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?

During non-RUSH hours it can take upwards of ten minutes for a train to come. It's not like other metro lines like in NY or Chicago.

In addition, the Red line DC Metro is notorious for delays and/or service breakdowns

 
2012-12-29 10:53:23 AM  

Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?


I think it's full of super mutants and ghouls.
 
2012-12-29 10:55:03 AM  

Littledevil8701: Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?

During non-RUSH hours it can take upwards of ten minutes for a train to come. It's not like other metro lines like in NY or Chicago.


Only a 10 minute wait for the next train, and you're complaining?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2012-12-29 10:57:54 AM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-29 10:58:18 AM  
pbs.twimg.com

Don't wear orange when robbing a bank.
 
2012-12-29 11:12:14 AM  
Next stop...DC Jail.  Doors opening.....on the left.
 
2012-12-29 11:13:59 AM  

volodya: [pbs.twimg.com image 720x960]

Don't wear orange when robbing a bank.


Mandy Patinkin?
 
2012-12-29 11:22:02 AM  

rnatalie: Next stop...DC Jail.  Doors opening.....on the left.


Doors closing... Doors closing...

They had to revise the automated "step away from the doors" announcement because people felt "disrespected".

/did I mention this was an automated message?
 
2012-12-29 11:29:15 AM  

yequalsy: Thieves use the metro to get away all the time


Yeah, it's true. Almost everyday I see someone on the train with a plasma tv they stole. It's kind of obvious because there are still bits of drywall hanging off the mounting bracket.

/At least you only see two or three stolen automobiles on the train each month. It gets too crowded most days for that kind of haul.
 
2012-12-29 12:00:28 PM  
For those that don't know, the DC metro has wait times of up to 5 mins during rush hour, and 15 mins between trains during non-rush.  I dnrtfa, so I'm not sure whether rush or not, but even if it was rush, the red line is the most over-crowded one out of all of them.  So he may have had to wait for 3 trains to go before he could get on anyway.
 
2012-12-29 12:07:23 PM  
Probably stood on the left side of the escalators too the monster.
 
2012-12-29 01:55:11 PM  

Littledevil8701: Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?

During non-RUSH hours it can take upwards of ten

twenty minutes for a train to come. It's not like other metro lines like in NY or Chicago.

I've been at the King Street metro and no blue trains nor any yellow trains came through for thirty minutes on a sunday morning.  30 farking minutes.  i could have walked faster.
 
2012-12-29 02:24:21 PM  
Frequency is trouble in DC.   Other issues exist in other cities.   Some houseguest brought us a sign they lifted from the NY Subway that proclaimed:

No B & D trains to Brooklyn

Gosh, I guess I have to forgo that activity while commuting.     Years later I was given instructions on taking the B train to my sister-in-law's.   What if there are no B&D trains, I asked?   When I got to Penn Station, I was indeed informed there were no B, D or Q trains that weekend.
 
2012-12-29 03:13:24 PM  

volodya: Don't wear orange when robbing a bank.


Hey, the Krispy Kreme is making fresh donuts, awesome!
 
2012-12-29 04:02:16 PM  
*scans headline*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

/Regular Red Line rider
 
2012-12-29 10:24:35 PM  

miniflea: volodya: Don't wear orange when robbing a bank.

Hey, the Krispy Kreme is making fresh donuts, awesome!


How did they get any cops together if the Krispy Kreme sign was on?
 
2012-12-29 11:05:55 PM  

Littledevil8701: Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?

During non-RUSH hours it can take upwards of ten minutes for a train to come. It's not like other metro lines like in NY or Chicago.


Still much better than SEPTA.
 
2012-12-30 12:05:40 AM  

Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?


There is an unwritten but well-understood rule in DC that if you're in a real hurry to get somewhere, your Metro train will "unexpectedly" experience a "delay of up to two hours."  I used to work downtown.  I learned never to schedule anything after work because if I did, the train I was waiting on would invariably get stuck in the tunnel at a point where other trains couldn't be routed around it without having to temporarily shut down the other tunnel (which is hard to do during peak rush).  Sometimes the delays would be so bad that they'd bring buses to the Metro stations and offer to take commuters to other stations farther down the line.  (And there's nothing better than being cooped up inside the humid underground platform area with several hundred of your fellow commuters who are also waiting to get somewhere, having to listen to the announcements about the delays and the broken promises about repair times.)  I just couldn't bear the responsibility of jinxing it for so many of my fellow commuters.

If I had just robbed a bank in DC and wanted to get away on foot, I think it would be better to run onto a busy street going against traffic and then duck into an alley when I got the chance.  Metro would be the last place I would think to go.  And knowing my luck, even if I did try to get away using the Metro, I'd probably get to the train just as the doors were closing, and any experienced Metro rider knows that those doors are not like elevator doors.  You can get something amputated or even get yourself dragged by the train if you're not careful.  And, of course, after the train pulls out, you'll be stuck waiting for the next one -- which, of course, will get stuck in the tunnel...
 
2012-12-30 12:11:51 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: If I had just robbed a bank in DC and wanted to get away on foot, I think it would be better to run onto a busy street going against traffic and then duck into an alley when I got the chance. Metro would be the last place I would think to go. And knowing my luck, even if I did try to get away using the Metro, I'd probably get to the train just as the doors were closing, and any experienced Metro rider knows that those doors are not like elevator doors. You can get something amputated or even get yourself dragged by the train if you're not careful. And, of course, after the train pulls out, you'll be stuck waiting for the next one -- which, of course, will get stuck in the tunnel...


Oh... and I almost forgot... My luck would also be that my farecard wouldn't have the minimum required to get through the electronic gates, so I'd have to make a big scene jumping the gates and a 350-pound Metro cop would tackle me before I could ever get to the platform.
 
2012-12-30 10:39:12 AM  

Kentucky Fried Children: Littledevil8701: Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?

During non-RUSH hours it can take upwards of ten minutes for a train to come. It's not like other metro lines like in NY or Chicago.

In addition, the Red line is notorious for delays and/or service breakdowns


My favorite T-shirt:

image.spreadshirt.com
 
2012-12-31 07:32:16 PM  

Kentucky Fried Children: Littledevil8701: Zumaki: Okay, I'll bite: for those of us unfamiliar with the DC transit system, what makes that so funny?

During non-RUSH hours it can take upwards of ten minutes for a train to come. It's not like other metro lines like in NY or Chicago.

In addition, the Red line is notorious for delays and/or service breakdowns


www.examiner.com

Another red line notorious for unreliable, infrequent service...
 
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