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12650 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2012 at 10:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-29 09:24:15 AM
It's all right.  I see some families and I envy them, but I see others and I'm at least glad I'm not in that situation.  And the freedom is nice, however it's something that's completely taken for granted after a short time of having all that you want.
 
2012-12-29 09:38:15 AM
How are 2-3 dogs at a time not the same as having kids that never grow up?
You are constantly a caregiver.
BAH
 
2012-12-29 10:03:11 AM
Im 41 with no kids nor plans to have any.

And im really ok with that, kids are annoying. Cats arent if you have only one.
 
2012-12-29 10:03:36 AM
I miss those days of independence and being DINKs, but it's hard to imagine life without my two kids.
 
2012-12-29 10:04:44 AM
It's ok, thanks for asking.

How are you guys?
 
mjg
2012-12-29 10:05:32 AM
Sex is not for procreation.
 
2012-12-29 10:09:51 AM
I hate kids. There, I said it.

/love my nieces and nephew though
 
2012-12-29 10:10:33 AM
My nephew and niece have horrible parents, so we get the benefits of being parental figures while keeping our income and free time.
 
2012-12-29 10:10:49 AM
I really hate threads like this. If you have no kids you assume that is best. Yet if you do have children, you assume that is best. To each his own. What I hate however is when people have snarky comments and tell those with children how annoying they are and how much better off they are for not having them.

Children are fking great thanks for asking. They are a pain sometimes, as is any living creature you have to take care of. The payoff however, is simply awesome.
 
2012-12-29 10:11:58 AM
Oh man its almost as if life, with or without children is only as good as you choose to make it. What a shocker.
 
2012-12-29 10:15:18 AM

publikenemy: I really hate threads like this. If you have no kids you assume that is best. Yet if you do have children, you assume that is best. To each his own. What I hate however is when people have snarky comments and tell those with children how annoying they are and how much better off they are for not having them.

Children are fking great thanks for asking. They are a pain sometimes, as is any living creature you have to take care of. The payoff however, is simply awesome.


Hypocrisy is so cool
 
2012-12-29 10:17:02 AM

HindiDiscoMonster: publikenemy: I really hate threads like this. If you have no kids you assume that is best. Yet if you do have children, you assume that is best. To each his own. What I hate however is when people have snarky comments and tell those with children how annoying they are and how much better off they are for not having them.

Children are fking great thanks for asking. They are a pain sometimes, as is any living creature you have to take care of. The payoff however, is simply awesome.

Hypocrisy is so cool


Is taking care of a dog or cat not a PIA sometimes?
 
2012-12-29 10:17:52 AM
She sounds like a self-absorbed boomer. If she had a kid it would have been just another contribution to gen-x that would have grown up angst-ridden at how little attention it got from narcissistic parents.

At least she acknowledged as much.

So, thanks, lady. You suck slightly less than your contemporaries.
 
2012-12-29 10:18:58 AM
As an adult, if you want kids, it's probably a good idea. If you don't want kids, you shouldn't have them.
 
2012-12-29 10:19:44 AM
In this thread, people with kids justify their decisions because it would be abhorred to have children but regret that decision, and they also have no way to go back from their original decision. This is not to be confused with what is also in this thread: people without children justifying their decisions because it may be too late to go back on it as well, or they fear being in the place of the people with children that cannot be stuffed back into the womb and or scrotum.

What a revelation we have here. People can't make decisions a second time so they justify the decisions instead of living in sorrow.
 
2012-12-29 10:23:00 AM

StupidFly: In this thread, people with kids justify their decisions because it would be abhorred to have children but regret that decision, and they also have no way to go back from their original decision. This is not to be confused with what is also in this thread: people without children justifying their decisions because it may be too late to go back on it as well, or they fear being in the place of the people with children that cannot be stuffed back into the womb and or scrotum.

What a revelation we have here. People can't make decisions a second time so they justify the decisions instead of living in sorrow.



Or, maybe some people are just fine with their decisions
 
2012-12-29 10:23:59 AM
Having gotten almost no sleep last night because of a little one with a cold... yeah, I bet it really is nice.
 
2012-12-29 10:24:40 AM
Life: It's not about you.
 
2012-12-29 10:24:53 AM
Plan well for your golden years.
 
2012-12-29 10:25:10 AM

Lonestar: Im 41 with no kids nor plans to have any.

And im really ok with that, kids are annoying. Cats arent if you have only one.


Dude, that is exactly, almost to the letter, what I was going to post in here. Including the age and the one cat. Eerie.

Especially after being with extended family for the holidays this past week, I know I have no temptation whatsoever to be a dad. I like being an uncle, though. That will suffice.

This was also my first xmas when no one at all asked if I was dating anyone. That was awesome.
 
2012-12-29 10:27:41 AM
I know LOTS of people who have children, but shouldn't.
 
2012-12-29 10:28:23 AM
If I hadn't had kids I would have spent all that money on ex-wives instead. And I wouldn't have a grandchild.
 
2012-12-29 10:28:52 AM
The best part about having kids? Grandkids. Get 'em all sugared up and hyper, then send them home. Preferably with a Mr Microphone.
 
2012-12-29 10:29:31 AM
Not having kids is only an issue for those that cling to the idea that 1. you must get married before 2. having sex.
 
2012-12-29 10:29:37 AM
I raised a child of my own, and have helped raise various others. It's all well and good if they eventually get their shiat together and move out on their own. My neighbors still have two "in the basement" after college and false starts at careers. Which would be infinitely worse to me than changing diapers or going through a "drug court" ordeal.
 
Ni!
2012-12-29 10:29:58 AM
I am quite fond of my crotchfruit but I totally get not wanting any. The freedom, the money, the house that is still clean five farking minutes later...still, though, I wouldn't go back. They're so much fun, all the squeals and giggles and everything being new and exciting. To each their own, eh.
 
2012-12-29 10:31:57 AM
As a step parent of two kids who both went completely off the rails, thanks to a father who would do anything, no matter how profoundly stupid, to try to put a wedge between his kids and their mom, so that he could declare victory, yeah, I'm really glad I don't have kids.
 
2012-12-29 10:34:12 AM

publikenemy: StupidFly: In this thread, people with kids justify their decisions because it would be abhorred to have children but regret that decision, and they also have no way to go back from their original decision. This is not to be confused with what is also in this thread: people without children justifying their decisions because it may be too late to go back on it as well, or they fear being in the place of the people with children that cannot be stuffed back into the womb and or scrotum.

What a revelation we have here. People can't make decisions a second time so they justify the decisions instead of living in sorrow.


Or, maybe some people are just fine with their decisions


Nah, it's always more fun to think that behind every seemingly-reasonable reaction normal people have there lurk teeming hordes of pathological anxieties and insecurities. It's especially great because you get to exempt yourself from the analysis (I'm rational, everyone else has issues), and then you feel all warm and superior.

/psychologist, specializing in feeling warm and superior while judging everyone else
 
2012-12-29 10:34:56 AM
Just ask Jennifer Aniston.
 
2012-12-29 10:37:23 AM

SoupJohnB: I raised a child of my own, and have helped raise various others. It's all well and good if they eventually get their shiat together and move out on their own. My neighbors still have two "in the basement" after college and false starts at careers. Which would be infinitely worse to me than changing diapers or going through a "drug court" ordeal.


*raising hand sadly*
 
2012-12-29 10:38:46 AM
At 48 years of age, no kids, I have friends with kids who are much older and friends with kids who are much younger. The younger ones worry constantly about money, to the point where they're not deriving much enjoyment from their children. The older ones biatch constantly about how their grown offspring never come around unless they need money. I know at least two older couples who are raising their grandchildren because their children are too strung out on something or too incarcerated to do it themselves. They're exhausted, and it shows.

Like the writer, I get a lot of "But who will take care of you when you're older?" I always answer, "What makes you think your kids are guaranteed to take care of you when you're older?" I don't dislike children; in fact, I'm particularly fond of kids ages 8-12 (I've had some interesting conversations with my nephews when they were that age, before they turned into disaffected little brat teenagers). But children are no guarantee of anything but a whole lot of heartache and headache. A whole lotta love, too, granted, but you can't have the sweet without the bitter. I'll take my doggie's love over the kiddies anyday -- he comes bitterness-free, and is absurdly grateful for treats and walkies, even though he gets them every day.
 
2012-12-29 10:42:17 AM
Kids kept my life from being All About Me. I prefer it that way. Others, like the lady in TFA, feel otherwise.

/Yea for birth control: people who don't want kids should not have kids.
 
2012-12-29 10:46:16 AM
The moment I opened the page I expected the usual dumb-arse banter that people with no children always dish out, and I wasn't shocked when they went and mentioned something about having dogs instead, which they were "like the kids they never had".

For people like this, I'm glad that they didn't have kids because they would have made terrible parents, but the way most "acknowledge" this, is usually in a douchebag way, and this article didn't disappoint.

Of course, there's a good side of not having kids, never having to be responsible for another human being, being able to be free to do anything you'd like without the burden of a child... but don't whine about being alone one day... the people that live "having kids" via other people's children tend to have plenty of issues.

I have children, and it's been very complicated. Some days I wonder how life would have been without them, but I know that my life has been worth more for having them, something that's very hard to explain I guess, to those that never had any.

The fact is, I've been single, I've been without kids at some point, and I've been a father, a parent... something that the ones without kids cannot understand, and no, taking temporary care of someone else's children isn't the same.

For the nieces and nephew thing, for me, almost all the ones I have, have had a difficult life and most have had terrible parents and I do feel that I have to take them under my wing, but in a way that a parent would, not the way that the kid-less uncle and aunt would.
 
2012-12-29 10:47:31 AM
I have one kid and do not plan on having more.
/What do I get?
 
2012-12-29 10:48:24 AM

la_cyberchicana: are raising their grandchildren because their children are too strung out on something or too incarcerated to do it themselves. .


So, a little incarceration is a good thing? Just not too much?
 
2012-12-29 10:51:09 AM
Not having kids is the best decision I ever made. My SO and I still celebrate my sterilization-iversary.
 
pla
2012-12-29 10:51:45 AM
Like... Having ice cream, and not needing to share it with anyone.

Like Christmas every day, because I have disposable income that doesn't go into buying the latest Trapper Keeper or clothes that will only last six months or fixing the little snot's broken arm.

Like being able to have nice things that some unappreciative little brat won't use to practice their sawing skills or bury them in the backyard on you (some conditions may apply depending on what type of pets you have).

Like doing what I want, when I want, and how I want, without having to schedule (or worse, attend) some god-awful 8YO's dance recital, or listen to "are we there yet?" or worry about where to find the next restaurant that serves all-chicken-fingers-all-the-time-because-the-little-snot-won't-eat-any thing-else.

Like I can have sex with my partner on the dining room table at 7pm and not worry about having DCYF show up in a 4am raid the next day.

Like never needing to apologize to Billy's mom that my precious dear little parasite broke Billy's nose with a watermelon.


What does it feel like? Y'know those fantasies you parents have about getting away from it all, just for a day or two, leaving the kids with grandma and just... sleeping in?

I live that every day.

Enjoy your choice. I sure as hell enjoy mine. :)
 
2012-12-29 10:53:37 AM
I wasn't "made" to be a mother. I had spared a child from having to have me as one.

So very much THIS. I have always known I would've been the worst mom. Even setting health problems aside, it would have been a bad decision for me and at least I knew that years and years ago and didn't have a problem with it.

I now have a 13 year old stepson, but lack maternal instinct, apparently that part was left out of my brain when I was created. Fortunately, the kid and I have enough in common and I want to teach him how to cook, do his own laundry, support him with his dreams of joining the military and encourage his artistic achievements, etc., so that when he gets out in the world he's not hopeless nor full of dismay; he's a great kid couldn't ask for better. And I have never once looked upon him or my old man and said to myself, gee, I want a baby. I'm not cut out for it, never was, never will be. I make an ok stepmom for an older kid though and love him to pieces and would do anything for him. I don't mind my life being bound up in his, but a baby, no thanks even though I'm still young enough to conceive. We've taken great precautions in my house to ensure that doesn't happen. I am so thankful that I was brought up in a society that allows women to make choices and does not force them into motherhood. I am convinced that being a stepmom is about the best job on earth. Had someone else go through the pain and the diapers and the tantrums and now all I have is a bratty teenager to deal with. I probably would've fostered an older kid anyway, but I can't handle the baby thing. Loads of respect out there for all the biological moms. Your path is not an easy one.
 
2012-12-29 10:54:06 AM
I had freedom until I was 35, now I have two kids. Yeah, freedom was great, enjoyed every minute of it. And yep, I hated kids, still do in fact. Except mine. Couldn't imagine life without them.

IMO make your choice as an adult (in other words, 25+) and don't look back. You'll make the right choice. Some people are definitely not well suited to raising kids, and recognizing that would save everyone a headache.

/prophylactics should be plentiful and free, it's a good investment
 
2012-12-29 10:55:11 AM

imfallen_angel: The moment I opened the page I expected the usual dumb-arse banter that people with no children always dish out, and I wasn't shocked when they went and mentioned something about having dogs instead, which they were "like the kids they never had".

For people like this, I'm glad that they didn't have kids because they would have made terrible parents, but the way most "acknowledge" this, is usually in a douchebag way, and this article didn't disappoint.

Of course, there's a good side of not having kids, never having to be responsible for another human being, being able to be free to do anything you'd like without the burden of a child... but don't whine about being alone one day... the people that live "having kids" via other people's children tend to have plenty of issues.

I have children, and it's been very complicated. Some days I wonder how life would have been without them, but I know that my life has been worth more for having them, something that's very hard to explain I guess, to those that never had any.

The fact is, I've been single, I've been without kids at some point, and I've been a father, a parent... something that the ones without kids cannot understand, and no, taking temporary care of someone else's children isn't the same.

For the nieces and nephew thing, for me, almost all the ones I have, have had a difficult life and most have had terrible parents and I do feel that I have to take them under my wing, but in a way that a parent would, not the way that the kid-less uncle and aunt would.


So can you tell us which makes you more explosively outraged, people who don't have kids, but you think they should, or people who do have kids, but you think they shouldn't?
 
2012-12-29 10:55:55 AM

la_cyberchicana: Like the writer, I get a lot of "But who will take care of you when you're older?" I always answer, "What makes you think your kids are guaranteed to take care of you when you're older?"


Don't be an arse, show them right from wrong, be there for them, show them the world, explain life, and love them as you should and the kids will be there.... is a fair motto to go with.

But it appears to be hard for many.

Something that dog people don't appear to be able to understand, or assume that it doesn't happen.

When I get old, and something were to happens, I know that the kids will be there and do their best. Your dog will probably be dead from old age, or bark a lot if you fall down and break your hip, and turn you into kibble when it gets hungry enough from you not being able to move and fill it's bowl.
 
2012-12-29 10:58:50 AM

Mouser: Life: It's not about you.


Why the hell shouldn't it be? No, seriously. What cosmic principle did I ever swear fealty to that demands I should sacrifice my happiness for another person? Why is having one or two kids your sacred duty to those potential kids, but not the 5th or 6th? I'm a man. I could, in principle, sire thousands of potential kids. Am I wrong to not bring them into the world? Then what's so special about the first one?

I don't want kids right now because I don't think they would make me happy. If that changes one day, then I will have one. But not more than one, because I want to contribute to negative population growth. Anyone who has more than two kids and calls him/herself an environmentalist is a farking hypocrite.
 
2012-12-29 10:58:56 AM
So, what i gather from the comments in this post is that people desperately need to talk about how much better their decisions are than someone else's. You guys seem like real joys to be around.
 
pla
2012-12-29 11:01:02 AM
namatad : How are 2-3 dogs at a time not the same as having kids that never grow up?
publikenemy : Is taking care of a dog or cat not a PIA sometimes?

Imagine a ferret that understands the destructive power of fire and power tools.

Imagine a dog that costs $2k/year in doctors visits and you can't chose "the shot" instead of that insanely expensive procedure.

Imagine leaving your 7YO home alone for the weekend with just a giant bowl of food and a fresh litterbox.

Sure, sometimes, I need to trim mats out of my cat's fur. Take them to their yearly vet visit ($150, done until next year). I play with them daily before feeding them. And the rest of they day, they do their thing, I do mine, occasionally I'll give them a scritch on the chin if one comes within arm's length.

The difference? Parents define their lives around parenting. I just "have" a mostly-self-entertaining pair of cats.
 
2012-12-29 11:02:01 AM
There are a lot of people who should not have children, and I'm one of those people. I recognize that.
I've been so lucky to find a great guy who doesn't want them either. I don't think it's selfish to not have
children, for me it's just the responsible choice.
 
2012-12-29 11:02:51 AM

Kibbler: So can you tell us which makes you more explosively outraged, people who don't have kids, but you think they should, or people who do have kids, but you think they shouldn't?


I'm not saying that everyone should have kids, but those that don't, shouldn't believe themselves better... but yet, they do, over and over, then at some point, most whine about missing out.

Funny how most have dogs and need to rant about these dogs though... over and over.

I simply don't like those people...outraged? nah... just finding them pathetic is enough.

Then there's those that are this very thing, have kids anyways, and still treat the dogs better.

It's pretty sad.
 
2012-12-29 11:03:52 AM
I'm glad I don't have kids because I know I'd make a shiatty father.

Simple as that, really.
 
2012-12-29 11:03:57 AM

BlousyBrown: There are a lot of people who should not have children, and I'm one of those people. I recognize that.
I've been so lucky to find a great guy who doesn't want them either. I don't think it's selfish to not have
children, for me it's just the responsible choice.


Yeah, this. I should not be anyone's father. It's that simple.
 
2012-12-29 11:04:21 AM
What Is It Like To Be an Adult and Not Have Kids?

Nice, except for the annoying compulsion to tell everybody What Is It Like To Be an Adult and Not Have Kids.
 
2012-12-29 11:05:37 AM

sabbacca: So, what i gather from the comments in this post is that people desperately need to talk about how much better their decisions are than someone else's. You guys seem like real joys to be around.


Well, you know how when something happens to someone and the other person that has not a single clue, has never lived anything like it, comes up and say "I know how you feel"...

It's like this, but with lots and lots of derpage.
 
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