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(Wonkette)   Tired of a being homosexual but "praying the gay away" just didn't quite cut it? Have you tried jacking off horses with other men desperately interested in heterosexuality on an isolated church/ranch in Virginia?   (wonkette.com) divider line 42
    More: Unlikely, Wayne Besen, Isaac Hayes  
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13209 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2012 at 6:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-28 04:53:32 PM  
16 votes:

Lumpmoose: Er, TFA said you would "stroke horses".  I think subby let his imagination run a little wild there.


♪♫♪  Wiiiiild horses...couldn't drag me from gay... ♪♫♪
2012-12-28 05:37:46 PM  
15 votes:
50 Shades of Neigh?
2012-12-28 06:45:19 PM  
9 votes:
That's hilarious. They think being manly men and doing macho things with men out in the manly wilderness and outdoors will stop being them from being gay because gay men apparently are all feminine and girly and not butch enough and of course, there is not a huge group of big butch hairy gay men who love to be manly and macho together.

I hope they get eaten by bears.
2012-12-28 08:03:31 PM  
6 votes:
i35.tinypic.com

Are they gone yet?
2012-12-28 06:51:09 PM  
6 votes:
If anything, they should know that doing the following careers will NOT get rid of teh gay..

Construction Worker
Policeman
Cowboy
Sailor
Indian Chief
2012-12-28 04:42:14 PM  
6 votes:
I've never been asked that before.  But you'd be surprised at how often I've wondered if that would be right for me.
2012-12-28 05:21:13 PM  
4 votes:
Won't all the contact with horses make the gays even more in favor of equine rights?
2012-12-28 07:23:26 PM  
3 votes:

Diogenes: gilgigamesh: Diogenes: I've never been asked that before.

You need to hang out in more interesting bars.

Hehe.  I think I have a new pickup line.


I have found "can I push your stool in for you?" to be quite effective.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: And they said there's no way anyone could write a sequel to "Brokeback Mountain."


It's been done...

www.threesources.com

Also...

i.imgur.com

/NTTAWWT
2012-12-28 06:50:16 PM  
3 votes:
i47.tinypic.com
2012-12-28 06:48:06 PM  
3 votes:

FunkOut: I hope they get eaten by bears.


Probably, so do they.

bbsimg.ngfiles.com
2012-12-28 06:41:17 PM  
3 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
2012-12-28 05:10:15 PM  
3 votes:
Just kidding ...

www.everywoodyallenmovie.com
2012-12-28 05:08:15 PM  
3 votes:
And they said there's no way anyone could write a sequel to "Brokeback Mountain."
2012-12-28 09:20:47 PM  
2 votes:
i1125.photobucket.com

/I felt that this was appropriate.
//Yes, I'm off my meds.
///I know that the voices in my head aren't real, but they say the coolest things.
2012-12-28 05:52:44 PM  
2 votes:

Diogenes: ♪♫♪ Wiiiiild horses...couldn't drag me from gay... ♪♫♪


hackhix: 50 Shades of Neigh?


This thread has a lot of punny potential...
2012-12-28 05:20:58 PM  
2 votes:
Yo man, I don't think Ezekiel 23:20 was meant to be a basis for an entire ministry.
2012-12-28 05:10:50 PM  
2 votes:

AirForceVet: Diogenes: I used to assist in breeding mares at the stable where I took riding lessons.  I still turned out gay.

Seeing that ridiculously huge horse penis probably made me worse, if anything.  Those poor mares.

Thanks for piping in there. I would think an aroused male horse could be somewhat stimulating in some weird sense. Aroused female sheep have a similar effect on me.

/NTTATWWT.


As long as it's not dead dogs outside of day care centers, we're golden.
2012-12-28 05:07:41 PM  
2 votes:

Diogenes: I used to assist in breeding mares at the stable where I took riding lessons.  I still turned out gay.

Seeing that ridiculously huge horse penis probably made me worse, if anything.  Those poor mares.


Thanks for piping in there. I would think an aroused male horse could be somewhat stimulating in some weird sense. Aroused female sheep have a similar effect on me.

/NTTATWWT.
2012-12-28 05:01:09 PM  
2 votes:
Cause nothin' shuts down teh ghey like some macho sh*t.

1.bp.blogspot.com
Ride motorcycles to boot camp next?
2012-12-29 08:02:10 AM  
1 votes:
Prank Call of Cthulhu,
Does it still work if they fondle gay horses?
73 Horse Lesbians.jpg


Doing a bing image search for 'horse lesbians' was less than subtle.
/How did they get that cat in the shot?
2012-12-29 12:40:08 AM  
1 votes:
Well, that was a spectacularly fetid pile of threadsh*t.
2012-12-28 11:28:26 PM  
1 votes:
imgboot.com

Bend over, pilgrim.
2012-12-28 10:43:19 PM  
1 votes:
Too err is human, to forgive is equine.
2012-12-28 10:17:59 PM  
1 votes:
Reminds me of a grade-school joke.

If your Uncle Jack helped you get on a horse, would you help your Uncle Jack off a horse?
2012-12-28 09:29:54 PM  
1 votes:

Diogenes: AirForceVet: Diogenes: I used to assist in breeding mares at the stable where I took riding lessons.  I still turned out gay.

Seeing that ridiculously huge horse penis probably made me worse, if anything.  Those poor mares.

Thanks for piping in there. I would think an aroused male horse could be somewhat stimulating in some weird sense. Aroused female sheep have a similar effect on me.

/NTTATWWT.

As long as it's not dead dogs outside of day care centers, we're golden.


You know, it's downright odd just how frequently dead dogs outside of daycare centers and sex comes up on these boards, why I brought it up just this morning in the thread about having sex in uncomfortable places.
2012-12-28 09:23:20 PM  
1 votes:
www.wipwapweb.com

That wasn't the horse fetish costume I was looking for but it's a start.
2012-12-28 08:40:02 PM  
1 votes:

Twilight Farkle: downstairs: Diogenes: ♪♫♪ Wiiiiild horses...couldn't drag me from gay... ♪♫♪

hackhix: 50 Shades of Neigh?

This thread has a lot of punny potential...

[i.imgur.com image 700x738]

50 Grades of Hay?


I suppose it was too much to expect this to be a pony-free thread.
2012-12-28 08:12:56 PM  
1 votes:

HindiDiscoMonster: orbister: AirForceVet: Aroused female sheep have a similar effect on me.

How can you tell a female sheep is aroused? Do they flare their nostrils or something?

/innocent city dweller

that is a good question..... any scottish farkers wanna pipe in on this?


It's a good sign she's ready for foreplay when she pulls the wool over your eyes.
And yes,I have a good deal of Scotch in my blood.
2012-12-28 08:09:58 PM  
1 votes:
FTA: "But Bell says the horses in his church, a cowboy ranch in the south, are part of teaching men to stop being gay and encourage them to be more masculine."

HOW THE FARK, do they convince themselves that it's more masculine to JACK OFF A HORSE'S COCK?

Seriously..
Preachers: "We don't rape little boys!" -> *rapes little boys*
Westboro BC: "We follow the BIBLE and the teachings of JESUS" -> *hates on EVERYONE who is not a member of the WBC*
Religious-Right: "Gay marriage will lead to ANIMAL MARRIAGE!" -> *Claim to cure homosexuality by giving a horse a hand-job*

Why do people SERIOUSLY donate money to these people anymore!?
2012-12-28 07:39:21 PM  
1 votes:
Please stop trying to turn gay men straight. Many of them are gorgeous, and I have a hard enough time getting women as it is ...
2012-12-28 07:38:00 PM  
1 votes:
Determined to have this whipped, I harnessed my emotions, reined in my objections, and gave it a try. I saddled myself with the tough task of riding this out and attempted to tame my desires. I'm not here to fole myself into thinking I can spur feelings that just aren't there. But when those thoughts arise, I just shoe them away and manetain control. I can do this... I can do this... I can do this... I'm sorry. I really am. But I have stared and stared at these horses for hours, but I can't imagine how doing anything with them will ever make me less gay.

content6.flixster.comcdn02.cdn.justjared.com
2012-12-28 07:23:03 PM  
1 votes:
If anything, horses spread gayness, not stop it. The cowboys in Brokeback Mountain didn't get it on until they started riding horses. Coincidence? I think not!

And look at Mitt Romney's sons: they all have a severe case of "gayface". I blame this on Ann Romney being near those fancy horses while she was pregnant.
2012-12-28 06:57:35 PM  
1 votes:
It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial inseminationto cure homosexuality.

4.bp.blogspot.com
2012-12-28 06:55:04 PM  
1 votes:
well... apparently Fark *IS* someone's personal erotica site...
2012-12-28 06:52:57 PM  
1 votes:
I tried breeding my horse once.  I took her to dinner, movies, drinks - nothing worked.
2012-12-28 06:44:14 PM  
1 votes:
This will end tragically when the horse screams out someone else's name at climax.
2012-12-28 06:43:37 PM  
1 votes:

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x331]


That's nightMare fuel
2012-12-28 06:43:03 PM  
1 votes:

A horse is a horse of course of course,
Unless I have teh gay...


4.bp.blogspot.com

2012-12-28 06:42:42 PM  
1 votes:
Well, that certainly sounds a lot less weird than being gay, amirite?

Next they'll be showing each other pictures of their buttholes to show how much weight they've lost, working out on the ranch.

Sooo not weird at all.
2012-12-28 06:39:08 PM  
1 votes:
Have you tried jacking off horses

"I'm just here helping my uncle."
2012-12-28 04:59:24 PM  
1 votes:

gilgigamesh: Diogenes: I've never been asked that before.

You need to hang out in more interesting bars.


Hehe.  I think I have a new pickup line.
2012-12-28 04:51:09 PM  
1 votes:
I used to assist in breeding mares at the stable where I took riding lessons.  I still turned out gay.

Seeing that ridiculously huge horse penis probably made me worse, if anything.  Those poor mares.
 
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