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(Wonkette)   Tired of a being homosexual but "praying the gay away" just didn't quite cut it? Have you tried jacking off horses with other men desperately interested in heterosexuality on an isolated church/ranch in Virginia?   (wonkette.com) divider line 212
    More: Unlikely, Wayne Besen, Isaac Hayes  
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13223 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2012 at 6:35 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-28 06:59:07 PM  
BS
 
2012-12-28 06:59:59 PM  
Nothing says "desperately interested in heterosexuality" quite like jacking off horses on a ranch in Virginia.  Great call.
 
2012-12-28 07:00:14 PM  
Sounds like typical FarkLibbies trying out for the 'B' act at the Tijuana Titty Bar.

/dnra
 
2012-12-28 07:00:32 PM  

KidneyStone: Reminds me of the story about a guy that died from having sex with a horse.

He died from internal injuries.

/yes. It's true


Link

Ewe read it here first.
 
2012-12-28 07:00:42 PM  
As long as it's voluntary and the agenda and methods are disclosed to participants in advance, I have no problem with this.

The issue with the "pray the gay away" and the camps and so on was never that they were stupid and ineffective, everyone's got hobbies and that describes the majority of them. The issue was that churches were sending minors that can't legally consent to such things, or compelling adults into them. If someone wants to try to brainwash themselves into being more butch on their own time and volition, that's fine.
 
2012-12-28 07:00:58 PM  
Wow, another scam from a religious person. YOU DON'T SAY. It's almost as if that whole religion thing is a bunch of empty nonsense that people can use to exploit others who are too naive with.
 
2012-12-28 07:03:07 PM  

Diogenes: AirForceVet: Diogenes: I used to assist in breeding mares at the stable where I took riding lessons.  I still turned out gay.

Seeing that ridiculously huge horse penis probably made me worse, if anything.  Those poor mares.

Thanks for piping in there. I would think an aroused male horse could be somewhat stimulating in some weird sense. Aroused female sheep have a similar effect on me.

/NTTATWWT.

As long as it's not dead dogs outside of day care centers, we're golden.


Are you saying the dead dogs outside the daycare is the magical switch to turn you straight?
 
2012-12-28 07:03:10 PM  

skinink: A horse is a horse of course of course,
Unless I have teh gay...
[4.bp.blogspot.com image 600x450]


Say "Equus" in person. Daniel Radcliffe has a hot body, sexy ass,average but nice penis, and a good-sized pair of nuts.
 
2012-12-28 07:04:08 PM  

Diogenes: I used to assist in breeding mares at the stable where I took riding lessons.  I still turned out gay.

Seeing that ridiculously huge horse penis probably made me worse, if anything.  Those poor mares.


I use to do a lot of carpentry work at hunter-jumper stables. I was surprised to find that most of the women at a few of the places I worked were gay. Some were pretty hot.... some weren't so hot.
 
2012-12-28 07:04:52 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: If anything, they should know that doing the following careers will NOT get rid of teh gay..

Construction Worker
Policeman
Cowboy
Sailor
Indian Chief


Fark Mod/min.
 
2012-12-28 07:06:50 PM  

Diogenes: I've never been asked that before.  But you'd be surprised at how often I've wondered if that would be right for me.


You try, I'll watch. We'll see which of us gets cured first.
 
2012-12-28 07:07:45 PM  

Tumunga: Sounds like typical FarkLibbies trying out for the 'B' act at the Tijuana Titty Bar.

/dnra


Even in Tijuana; there would be a lady performing the sex act on the horse, not a dude.

/ not that I would know
 
2012-12-28 07:08:38 PM  
adventurebarbie.net
 
2012-12-28 07:08:38 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

I wish I knew how to quit you.


/ whar is pudding?? whar?
 
2012-12-28 07:09:13 PM  
Somewhere in horse heaven Mr.Ed and Trigger are smiling.Either that or pissed off they aren't getting jerked off right now.
 
2012-12-28 07:12:03 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: FunkOut: I hope they get eaten by bears.

Probably, so do they.

[bbsimg.ngfiles.com image 540x398]


Dad?
 
2012-12-28 07:12:58 PM  
Wilbur?
 
2012-12-28 07:15:50 PM  

fusillade762: Somacandra: AirForceVet: Lumpmoose: Er, TFA said you would "stroke horses".  I think subby let his imagination run a little wild there.

Nope, Subby didn't. You need to read the article.

Here is the original article TFA links to. Nothing about masturbating horses.

Yup. I had to follow the link to see for myself. Nothing there about touching horse penises whatsoever. This "therapy" is retarded enough on its own without having to make shiat up.


It's a joke, son! I say, a joke! Unbunch your panties and laugh a little.
 
2012-12-28 07:16:47 PM  
Are we certain that Poe's Law is not in effect here?
 
2012-12-28 07:18:24 PM  
"---They tried to make me go to rehab, and I said: 'neigh! neigh! neigh!'"

Aisle seat please.
 
2012-12-28 07:20:38 PM  
Bell said he uses EAP to identify how a person got 'involved' in homosexuality to begin with. For example, because of rape, abandonment, lacking a male role model, abuse, and having low self-esteem.

I got involved in homosexuality because my generic middle income american upbringing in a stable household with a stay at home mother and father who didn't abandon the family wasn't making it interesting to fark girls.

/my self-esteem did take a hit being a ginger - but once I learned lots of hots guys have ginger fetishs - I got over that quickly
 
2012-12-28 07:21:52 PM  
Whoa there, you mincing Mister. Hands-on therapy is just what you need!

/ this is totally not creepy and wrong. Neigh, not a bit.
 
2012-12-28 07:23:03 PM  
If anything, horses spread gayness, not stop it. The cowboys in Brokeback Mountain didn't get it on until they started riding horses. Coincidence? I think not!

And look at Mitt Romney's sons: they all have a severe case of "gayface". I blame this on Ann Romney being near those fancy horses while she was pregnant.
 
2012-12-28 07:23:26 PM  

Diogenes: gilgigamesh: Diogenes: I've never been asked that before.

You need to hang out in more interesting bars.

Hehe.  I think I have a new pickup line.


I have found "can I push your stool in for you?" to be quite effective.

Mr. Coffee Nerves: And they said there's no way anyone could write a sequel to "Brokeback Mountain."


It's been done...

www.threesources.com

Also...

i.imgur.com

/NTTAWWT
 
2012-12-28 07:23:48 PM  

gingerjet: Bell said he uses EAP to identify how a person got 'involved' in homosexuality to begin with. For example, because of rape, abandonment, lacking a male role model, abuse, and having low self-esteem.

I got involved in homosexuality because my generic middle income american upbringing in a stable household with a stay at home mother and father who didn't abandon the family wasn't making it interesting to fark girls.

/my self-esteem did take a hit being a ginger - but once I learned lots of hots guys have ginger fetishs - I got over that quickly


I know. It's as if gay people only come from"sad" situations to these people. If that were really the case, then why did all those good christian homes get infected with the gay in the first place?
 
2012-12-28 07:24:18 PM  
Nope.
 
2012-12-28 07:24:31 PM  
The question is who gets to wear the bit and stirrups?
 
2012-12-28 07:25:44 PM  

jimmythrust: KidneyStone: Reminds me of the story about a guy that died from having sex with a horse.

He died from internal injuries.

/yes. It's true

Link

Ewe read it here first.


There was even a documentary about it called "Zoo". It's free to watch on some documentary sites, but it's not as scandalous as you might think. It's more like a long, boring re-creation of events that doesn't really explain why Mr. Hands liked getting rides from horses.
 
2012-12-28 07:25:57 PM  

gingerjet: Bell said he uses EAP to identify how a person got 'involved' in homosexuality to begin with. For example, because of rape, abandonment, lacking a male role model, abuse, and having low self-esteem.

I got involved in homosexuality because my generic middle income american upbringing in a stable household with a stay at home mother and father who didn't abandon the family wasn't making it interesting to fark girls.

/my self-esteem did take a hit being a ginger - but once I learned lots of hots guys have ginger fetishs - I got over that quickly


what happened to bravian?
 
2012-12-28 07:27:12 PM  
That's a shiat-ton of ads, Wonkette.

/"what ads?"
//fark you
 
2012-12-28 07:30:29 PM  

Diogenes: AirForceVet: Diogenes: I used to assist in breeding mares at the stable where I took riding lessons.  I still turned out gay.

Seeing that ridiculously huge horse penis probably made me worse, if anything.  Those poor mares.

Thanks for piping in there. I would think an aroused male horse could be somewhat stimulating in some weird sense. Aroused female sheep have a similar effect on me.

/NTTATWWT.

As long as it's not dead dogs outside of day care centers, we're golden.


You say that like it's a BAD thing!!!!
 
2012-12-28 07:32:12 PM  
So that ranch is for gay men only? What ranch do the lesbians go to for their miraculous cure?
 
2012-12-28 07:35:49 PM  

Natas Nwaps: So that ranch is for gay men only? What ranch do the lesbians go to for their miraculous cure?


The Rubber Rose Ranch, of course.
 
2012-12-28 07:36:41 PM  

Natas Nwaps: So that ranch is for gay men only? What ranch do the lesbians go to for their miraculous cure?


Link
 
2012-12-28 07:38:00 PM  
Determined to have this whipped, I harnessed my emotions, reined in my objections, and gave it a try. I saddled myself with the tough task of riding this out and attempted to tame my desires. I'm not here to fole myself into thinking I can spur feelings that just aren't there. But when those thoughts arise, I just shoe them away and manetain control. I can do this... I can do this... I can do this... I'm sorry. I really am. But I have stared and stared at these horses for hours, but I can't imagine how doing anything with them will ever make me less gay.

content6.flixster.comcdn02.cdn.justjared.com
 
2012-12-28 07:39:21 PM  
Please stop trying to turn gay men straight. Many of them are gorgeous, and I have a hard enough time getting women as it is ...
 
2012-12-28 07:40:37 PM  

ExperianScaresCthulhu: what happened to bravian?


I consolidated my online presences.  Bravian got cut.

/had that handle since I was 14
 
2012-12-28 07:41:39 PM  
I like horse-women.
 
2012-12-28 07:41:53 PM  

Paris1127: Won't all the contact with horses make the gays even more in favor of equine rights?


don't forget lefts too... can't just stroke in one direction.
 
2012-12-28 07:42:17 PM  

Indubitably: I like horse-women.


Centaurs, actually.
 
2012-12-28 07:42:57 PM  
I tell you what, does this ever sound heterosexual: a single-sex camp-style environment with repression, displays of manliness, and cowboy denim and leather during the day, then showering and sleeping in barracks at night. No girls allowed... just lots of manly men who definitely aren't desperate for cock.

Now fellas, on your knees... that's where Jesus likes you.
 
2012-12-28 07:43:03 PM  

alcoda: I know. It's as if gay people only come from"sad" situations to these people. If that were really the case, then why did all those good christian homes get infected with the gay in the first place?


The only gay people these people are familiar with are those that do come from damaged upbringings and go to the wrong people to try to seek 'help'.  Its not the gay part that needs to be addressed - its dealing with the prior abusive experiences working toward living a stable life.
 
2012-12-28 07:43:35 PM  

Somacandra: AirForceVet: Lumpmoose: Er, TFA said you would "stroke horses".  I think subby let his imagination run a little wild there.

Nope, Subby didn't. You need to read the article.

Here is the original article TFA links to. Nothing about masturbating horses. Now it should be said that there are animal breeding facilities where people do in fact masturbate horses for semen samples to ship away (there are exceptions in bestiality laws for these businesses). I used to date a woman (also a large animal vet tech) who worked there for a time. I felt a bit inadequate, and frankly her HJ technique was a lot rougher than I would have liked. She was pretty easygoing in general unless someone suggested she was sexually involved with horses....then all bets were off.

/csb


But subby wasn't the one that came up with the horse jerking angle. So AirForceVet is correct.
 
2012-12-28 07:44:44 PM  

orbister: AirForceVet: Aroused female sheep have a similar effect on me.

How can you tell a female sheep is aroused? Do they flare their nostrils or something?

/innocent city dweller


that is a good question..... any scottish farkers wanna pipe in on this?
 
2012-12-28 07:47:39 PM  

gingerjet: alcoda: I know. It's as if gay people only come from"sad" situations to these people. If that were really the case, then why did all those good christian homes get infected with the gay in the first place?

The only gay people these people are familiar with are those that do come from damaged upbringings and go to the wrong people to try to seek 'help'.  Its not the gay part that needs to be addressed - its dealing with the prior abusive experiences working toward living a stable life.


Oh I agree. Sometimes it's hard to pinpoint their genesis of the level of fear, ignorance and homophobia. Logic be damned.
 
2012-12-28 07:48:35 PM  
And, I saw that... "stable" life. Punny.
 
2012-12-28 07:48:55 PM  
So Catherine the Great was a therapist. Who knew?
 
2012-12-28 07:55:49 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: And they said there's no way anyone could write a sequel to "Brokeback Mountain."


Cowboy up!
 
2012-12-28 07:56:00 PM  
farm3.staticflickr.com
Hot like it's linked
 
2012-12-28 07:56:01 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: orbister: AirForceVet: Aroused female sheep have a similar effect on me.

How can you tell a female sheep is aroused? Do they flare their nostrils or something?

/innocent city dweller

that is a good question..... any scottish farkers wanna pipe in on this?


Trick Q. Those little sluts are always begging for it
 
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