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(io9)   No, just no. Bad idea. NO   (io9.com) divider line 85
    More: Stupid, Hanna-Barbera, Hong Kong Phooey  
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11466 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Dec 2012 at 2:21 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-28 11:03:33 AM
This makes me very angry.

No, really, it does.
 
2012-12-28 11:10:27 AM
Oh dear, you've done it now.
 
2012-12-28 11:13:41 AM
How is Honk Kong Phooey any less dumb then Shrek?
 
2012-12-28 11:19:11 AM

Elzar: How is Honk Kong Phooey any less dumb then Shrek?


Speaking of Shrek, is that not the voice of Eddie Murphy?
 
2012-12-28 11:25:44 AM
That's just unacceptable

/I mean... WTF was that Mac doing in there?
 
2012-12-28 11:26:01 AM

CPT Ethanolic: Elzar: How is Honk Kong Phooey any less dumb then Shrek?

Speaking of Shrek, is that not the voice of Eddie Murphy?


yep.
 
2012-12-28 11:46:43 AM
I think it's time we take care of this Eddie Murphy situation. It's officially out of hand.
 
2012-12-28 12:36:49 PM
I don't see what is so "horrifying" about either of those clips. Eddie Murphy, yeah I guess, that gets a "meh" from me. Other than that, not so horrifying. Anyone care to explain the animosity towards these two movies to me?
 
2012-12-28 12:43:03 PM

gonzoduke: I don't see what is so "horrifying" about either of those clips. Eddie Murphy, yeah I guess, that gets a "meh" from me. Other than that, not so horrifying. Anyone care to explain the animosity towards these two movies to me?


The HKP clip was horrifying in that it was the worst form of toilet- and OW-MY-BALLS-humour, though I
do have to admit that Eddie Murphy at least captured the clueless enthusiasm of Scatman Crothers'
original voice, which for me actually increases the pain of having this exist as anything other than a
paper proposal.

The Marvin clip was basically using an established character as an excuse for product placement.

The mere existence of them in even test footage form is proof that the only thing creative in Hollywood
is the accounting.
 
2012-12-28 12:44:43 PM
The horror... the... horror...
 
2012-12-28 01:42:48 PM
I'm not sure that the WB "as time goes by" music sting should be played over the title cards on these.

Maybe the sound of a Warner junior exec doing a line of blow off the taint of a lithe Venezuelan boy while simultaneously checking his stock options would be more appropriate.
 
2012-12-28 02:17:34 PM
no no  NO NO!

NO FARKING WAY.
 
2012-12-28 02:24:20 PM
Kill it with fire and everyone involved in it!
 
2012-12-28 02:24:46 PM
I watched the whole thing through once. It's just as bad as My Little Pony
 
2012-12-28 02:27:41 PM
Eh, my kid would love it. The same way he enjoyed the live action Underdog movie. Personally I think whoever thought that making the cartoons of our youth into live action movies should be shot, burned at the stake, and dragged behind a horse through the Salt Flats.

The only time live action and cartoons worked in a movie properly was Roger Rabbit.
 
2012-12-28 02:29:37 PM

Elzar: How is Honk Kong Phooey any less dumb then Shrek?


Or Cars 2?
 
2012-12-28 02:29:48 PM
HKP was atrocious. I didn't htink the Marvin one was that bad though.
 
2012-12-28 02:29:59 PM
Where's an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator when you need one?
 
2012-12-28 02:30:20 PM
At first I thought this was for that annoying Nickelodeon show with that screeching voice kid.
 
2012-12-28 02:32:40 PM

gonzoduke: Anyone care to explain the animosity towards these two movies to me?


The source material was interesting. It was written by people who seemed to genuinely enjoy their work and enjoyed crafting a quality piece of entertainment for their audiences. It wasn't always A material, but at least they tried to do a good job.

This crap is clearly just a series of generic "jokes" spoken in goofy voices with the exclusive purpose of allowing some arrogant studio executive the benefit of a quick payday without having to actually produce anything of value. It is aimed at the lowest common denominator so as to create the broadest generic appeal and maximize ticket sales. There is no other purpose.

People tend not to like it when you feed their nostalgia to a generic focus group and then try to sell the result back to them when it comes out the other end just so you can have a quick cash out on somebody else's hard work.
 
2012-12-28 02:34:06 PM

Grapple: At first I thought this was for that annoying Nickelodeon show with that screeching voice kid.


That stupid kid has a show on Disney now too, and the character is just as retarded and annoying. Sometimes kids shows are annoying (Fred, Annoying Orange), other times they're awesome (Phineous and Ferb, the Last Airbender)
 
2012-12-28 02:34:32 PM
HELL. NO.
 
2012-12-28 02:39:01 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: I watched the whole thing through once. It's just as bad as My Little Pony


Link

ponybot.net
 
2012-12-28 02:46:32 PM
I'm always wondering why "live-action" is supposed to be such a big deal for these things. Not that the last couple were bad, but why no two hour cartoons anymore?
 
2012-12-28 02:47:31 PM
Thats hopefully as close as I will ever feel to having been raped.
 
2012-12-28 02:50:29 PM

gonzoduke: I don't see what is so "horrifying" about either of those clips. Eddie Murphy, yeah I guess, that gets a "meh" from me. Other than that, not so horrifying. Anyone care to explain the animosity towards these two movies to me?


Agreed. These were no worse than the Alvin & Chipmunks movies, or the Smurfs movies or the Dr Suess movies or any of the other talking animal movies that parents are obligated to show to their crotchfruit.

These movies are dumb, but they are also as much of a sure-thing as the movie industry has. They are incredibly profitable, and merchandizable. There will never be a shortage of them.
 
2012-12-28 02:50:38 PM
img.gawkerassets.com
 
2012-12-28 02:55:17 PM

Doc Batarang: I'm always wondering why "live-action" is supposed to be such a big deal for these things. Not that the last couple were bad, but why no two hour cartoons anymore?


Studios saw that Ted made a billion dollars and thought, why not.
 
2012-12-28 02:56:10 PM
This type of move has a Disney-esque feel to it...

- no original creative.
- assumes CG makes everything worthy of being regurgitated
- appears to be milking the weathered teet of boomers youth/seems like nostalgia-rape
 
2012-12-28 03:03:14 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: The only time live action and cartoons worked in a movie properly was Roger Rabbit.


I'll even admit Space Jam worked to a certain degree. I think the idea of live-action and cartoon characters interacting should be left to films where that's the main point (Roger Rabbit, Space Jam, Cool World, etc). These movies that try to take cartoon characters and throw them into live action films just end up being crap (Garfield, Smurfs, etc).
 
2012-12-28 03:05:47 PM
Neither of those was any worse than the last 50 comic book movies.
 
2012-12-28 03:05:50 PM
Holy shiat! Here I am, frothing about "Total Recall"'s total lack of believability, and I'm suddenly presented with this two'fer from Hell?

First - Hong Kong Phooey's alter ego was a goddamned janitor. He knew what in the hell a toilet, urinal, and urinal cake was, for Christ's sake. Your entire block of test footage directly contradicts what we already know about that two-bit HB character.

Second - how in the hell did Marvin the Martian get tied up to begin with? What, did he have some S&M party on Mars and end up here as Warner's version of "Dick In a Box"?

Damn it, Hollywood, I don't care how friggin' hard up you are for intellectual property that hasn't yet been mined, at least make it plausible, right?
 
2012-12-28 03:07:51 PM

gonzoduke: I don't see what is so "horrifying" about either of those clips. Eddie Murphy, yeah I guess, that gets a "meh" from me. Other than that, not so horrifying. Anyone care to explain the animosity towards these two movies to me?


No clue man, that Marvin the Martian looked like it might be OK. No worse than those looney toon live action movies or space jam.
 
2012-12-28 03:11:45 PM

Funbags: Agreed. These were no worse than the Alvin & Chipmunks movies, or the Smurfs movies or the Dr Suess movies or any of the other talking animal movies that parents are obligated to show to their crotchfruit.


Something that's "no worse" than the steaming sh*t-piles you mentioned is still a steaming sh*t-pile. These turds make money though, with little creative work needed (fewer artists to pay means more money for the suits) so I expect we'll see these in theaters by xmas 2013 at the latest.

/I actually liked the HKP until the bathroom scene. If they could stick with the 'Harvey Birdman' or 'Sealab 2021' kind of humor, it could work. But not like this.


/Agree about the Eddie Murphy situation
cl.jroo.me
 
2012-12-28 03:11:47 PM
Excuse me, I forgot the WAAAAAHHHHHH stop making things from my childhood into movies.
 
2012-12-28 03:14:07 PM

Nick Spiceyweiner: Excuse me, I forgot the WAAAAAHHHHHH stop making things from my childhood into sh*tty movies.


FTFY
 
2012-12-28 03:19:39 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: Because People in power are Stupid: I watched the whole thing through once. It's just as bad as My Little Pony

Link


Alright... you know what, fark you if you're serious. You're gonna compare a 4th generation toy commercial to Steven Spielberg's take on Loony Toons. MLP has enough adult Easter eggs in it to appease to adults watching it with their daughters, but that's it. Loony Toons and Animaniacs are on a completely different level, and you should feel bad comparing MLP to them at all.

Plus, fans of Tiny Toons and Animaniacs didn't take the show to absurd levels or make silly names for ourselves. We just like the shows.
 
2012-12-28 03:20:26 PM

Brainsick: /Agree about the Eddie Murphy situation


I really don't know how he keeps finding work. I'd have thought A Thousand Words would have finally buried him.
 
2012-12-28 03:23:44 PM

Gosling: Brainsick: /Agree about the Eddie Murphy situation

I really don't know how he keeps finding work. I'd have thought A Thousand Words would have finally buried him.


He managed to make a big enough name for himself early in his career that the studios still think they're hiring the Eddie Murphy of SNL, Beverly Hills Cop, or 48 Hours.

His recent movies are so incredibly forgettable, that if you go up to someone and ask them to name an Eddie Murphy movie, they'll list several
 
2012-12-28 03:24:39 PM

quiotu: Plus, fans of Tiny Toons and Animaniacs didn't take the show to absurd levels or make silly names for ourselves. We just like the shows.


Oh, hell, just about every fanbase has a name for itself these days. Even the farking Wheel of Fortune people have a name for themselves. (They call themselves "Wheel Watchers".)
 
2012-12-28 03:25:40 PM
I actually had to go to youtube and watch the opening for Hong Kong Phoey. First because I couldn't figure out why he was talking to the cat. Second, I couldn't remember if he lived in a world of humans and he was the only anthropomorphic animal, or if the entire city was anthropomorphic animals. As for the clip, if it's one self inflicted groin shot and toilet jokes, I'm not buying a ticket. Not because I'm some snob who hates that stuff (and I am some snob who views that as the lowest possible form of humor), but it wasn't in the source material. I saw the cartoon as a kid and I am pretty sure that Hanna Barbarra was above toilet jokes.

As for the Marvin the Martian one, why did he need to be on Earth as a kid's Christmas present? We have a cartoon series where he's wanting to blow up the Earth, normally for pretty stupid reasons (it blocks my view of Venus), and he gets foiled in his plan in various humorous plans. We didn't need the kid, we needed Bugs Bunny, no live action, just two hours of Marvin the Martian and Bugs Bunny. That I would pay to see.
 
2012-12-28 03:26:43 PM
The irony is that this is exactly the sort of stupid crap that will make aliens want to destroy the Earth. And I'm pretty Okay with that.
 
2012-12-28 03:29:05 PM

quiotu: Jim from Saint Paul: Because People in power are Stupid: I watched the whole thing through once. It's just as bad as My Little Pony

Link

Alright... you know what, fark you if you're serious. You're gonna compare a 4th generation toy commercial to Steven Spielberg's take on Loony Toons. MLP has enough adult Easter eggs in it to appease to adults watching it with their daughters, but that's it. Loony Toons and Animaniacs are on a completely different level, and you should feel bad comparing MLP to them at all.

Plus, fans of Tiny Toons and Animaniacs didn't take the show to absurd levels or make silly names for ourselves. We just like the shows.


Indeed, sir.

And MLP has nothing on Regular Show for adults.
 
2012-12-28 03:30:14 PM

Great Janitor: As for the clip, if it's one self inflicted groin shot and toilet jokes, I'm not buying a ticket. Not because I'm some snob who hates that stuff (and I am some snob who views that as the lowest possible form of humor), but it wasn't in the source material. I saw the cartoon as a kid and I am pretty sure that Hanna Barbarra was above toilet jokes.


The trailer often contains the best material in the whole movie.

Remember that.
 
2012-12-28 03:31:40 PM
Whatever, my Eight year old has seen the old cartoons and the only thing he asked was,"Why isn't the caretaker from the shining doing Hong Kong Phoeey's voice?"
 
2012-12-28 03:33:44 PM
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
 
2012-12-28 03:37:04 PM
so lemme get that marvin clip straight...

the kid is almost murdered by an alien with a death ray.. luckily it misses.
then the kid's first thought is to smile and think, "imagine the fun im gonna have with that murder gun!"

you guys are all wrong... this movie is going be awesome.
 
2012-12-28 03:42:00 PM
I have a great idea!

Let's just drop a nuke on Hollywood.
 
2012-12-28 03:43:29 PM

Gosling: Great Janitor: As for the clip, if it's one self inflicted groin shot and toilet jokes, I'm not buying a ticket. Not because I'm some snob who hates that stuff (and I am some snob who views that as the lowest possible form of humor), but it wasn't in the source material. I saw the cartoon as a kid and I am pretty sure that Hanna Barbarra was above toilet jokes.

The trailer often contains the best material in the whole movie.

Remember that.


I don't think this is the trailer, just test footage, and it appeared to be more along the lines of the opening of the movie. Which if that's true, if the movie starts off with us not seeing the fight that lead to those thugs being beaten up and tied, but just the aftermath and confused cops and straight to toilet humor, is there anything that can be salvaged from that movie?
 
2012-12-28 03:53:31 PM
I'm really pulling for these to be early in a test stage. I know as consumer of sub-par entertainment this could be put on the collective plate and there are plenty who would take a helping. What I'm struggling with is how the humor in both is at the very bottom rung of slapnuts comedy. We've already seen the nunchaku in the nards about eight thousand times and that urinal puck/mint gag showed up in Madagascar. The low quality is hopefully thanks to these just being an exhibition of the animation capability rather than the writing. The number of direct classic Marvin quotes in that short almost took up every line. The only things I'd never heard him say was that grating "Those aren't batteries!" line and his Joe Pesci home Alone muttering. It makes me think (or pray) these could still be in their very early phases.

I know the polish we put on some classic cartoons with the nostalgia-filter makes them feel 10x better/funnier/entertaining than they really are and means we brutally flog any remakes not up to our ivory tower standards but even I have to agree, we can do MUCH better than this.
 
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