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(Fox News)   Scientists say the first "Alien Earth" will be found in 2013, but seeing as how these are the same baitches that promised me a fusion-powered flying car by the year 2000, I ain't buying   (foxnews.com) divider line 55
    More: Interesting, Earth, hot Jupiter, kepler space telescope, planetary habitability, Arecibo, nuclear fusions, light-years, Kepler  
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1300 clicks; posted to Geek » on 28 Dec 2012 at 3:06 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-28 02:16:09 PM
2013: only two years left, and still no hoverboard.

I'd be worrying about getting us hoverboards before looking for some non-existent Alien Earth.
 
2012-12-28 03:12:50 PM

FirstNationalBastard: 2013: only two years left, and still no hoverboard.

I'd be worrying about getting us hoverboards before looking for some non-existent Alien Earth.


Yeah, hoverboards are cool, but I want me a fusion powered flying time machine dammit! Or at the very least a fusion powered flying car. And dot matrix printers installed into the wall of every room of my house, even the closets! And self tying shoes, and self fitting self drying jackets.
 
2012-12-28 03:13:51 PM
In before QA and his inevitable 3D printer prattle.

/seriously, they need a drug to fix what's wrong with him
//Ideally, the drug will have to be manufactured in Zero G out of Ironicons
 
2012-12-28 03:17:01 PM
We were promised workable jet packs, meals-in-a-pill, and flying cars for the lumpen-proletariat.
 
2012-12-28 03:21:28 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: FirstNationalBastard: 2013: only two years left, and still no hoverboard.

I'd be worrying about getting us hoverboards before looking for some non-existent Alien Earth.

Yeah, hoverboards are cool, but I want me a fusion powered flying time machine dammit! Or at the very least a fusion powered flying car. And dot matrix printers installed into the wall of every room of my house, even the closets! And self tying shoes, and self fitting self drying jackets.


Only when the Cubs win the World Series
 
2012-12-28 03:27:10 PM
All those people you share the roads with. You want them flinging several thousand pounds of steel around in 3 dimensions instead?
 
2012-12-28 03:28:39 PM
[puts out a cage of lunar rock crabs for QA]

[plus shiatty cheap beer in an ice chest, a bucket of crab boil goin' at it on the stove, crab mallet, crab-picks and melted butter margarine]


I'm not putting butter out for that whiny son of a biatch.

He can eat the imitation crap and farking LIKE it.
 
2012-12-28 03:29:45 PM
Slow fear day for fux news?

/Did not read.
 
2012-12-28 03:30:18 PM

Holocaust Agnostic: All those people you share the roads with. You want them flinging several thousand pounds of steel around in 3 dimensions instead?


It's called autopilot, duh!
 
2012-12-28 03:34:17 PM
Come on guys, can't we at least enjoy the thread until QA gets here, instead of basically doing what he does and just shiatting in it without contributing anything??
 
2012-12-28 03:37:13 PM
How do you divy up the land on a new planet? We just going to homestead that biatch? Or have Monsanto and the Koch brothers already acquired all of the futures in alien real estate?
 
2012-12-28 03:38:42 PM
I think it'll kinda be like how we claimed the US. Just plant a damn flag where you want to claim something. After killing all the natives, of course.
 
2012-12-28 03:43:29 PM

USCLaw2010: How do you divy up the land on a new planet? We just going to homestead that biatch? Or have Monsanto and the Koch brothers already acquired all of the futures in alien real estate?


Well I would think it would depend on the people involved with colonizing it really. I would assume a group of colonists on such a mission would want to group up somewhat and not spread out all over the place, or at the very least a few different groups. I'd imagine someone would be in charge of each group and say "Ok, everyone pick a spot no further than x away from this landmark and allot y square meters or feet for your plot and mark it. First one to a site claims it, any disputes will be handled with me privately. We'll do meetings every so often to determine resource and labor distribution. Ready? Break!"
 
2012-12-28 03:44:09 PM
but I thought there were already aliens here, on earth

caffeine-fueled.com
 
2012-12-28 03:45:27 PM

Grither: I think it'll kinda be like how we claimed the US. Just plant a damn flag where you want to claim something. After killing all the natives, of course.


No, you plant the flag THEN slaughter the natives.

But really, I think when we finally land on a new planet you will hear "I claim this land in the name of Apple-Soft, Inc." or Lockheed-Boeing or some conglomerate like that.
 
2012-12-28 03:49:04 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: USCLaw2010: How do you divy up the land on a new planet? We just going to homestead that biatch? Or have Monsanto and the Koch brothers already acquired all of the futures in alien real estate?

Well I would think it would depend on the people involved with colonizing it really. I would assume a group of colonists on such a mission would want to group up somewhat and not spread out all over the place, or at the very least a few different groups. I'd imagine someone would be in charge of each group and say "Ok, everyone pick a spot no further than x away from this landmark and allot y square meters or feet for your plot and mark it. First one to a site claims it, any disputes will be handled with me privately. We'll do meetings every so often to determine resource and labor distribution. Ready? Break!"


Well I know the 1862 Homestead Act required you to prove you made improvements to the land you were claiming and you also had to reside there for a minimum of 5 years.
 
2012-12-28 04:05:29 PM

Holocaust Agnostic: All those people you share the roads with. You want them flinging several thousand pounds of steel around in 3 dimensions instead?


Seriously. Fully autonomous cars seems like a much more reasonable first step. Once we have the automated systems 100% effective, then flying cars might be a possibility, but not with the average driver in control.
 
2012-12-28 04:06:25 PM

cgraves67: Grither: I think it'll kinda be like how we claimed the US. Just plant a damn flag where you want to claim something. After killing all the natives, of course.

No, you plant the flag THEN slaughter the natives.

But really, I think when we finally land on a new planet you will hear "I claim this land in the name of Apple-Soft, Inc." or Lockheed-Boeing or some conglomerate like that.


Borland-Lotus-Oracle-WordPerfect-IBM-throng.

/blowit
 
2012-12-28 04:43:57 PM
Scientists say the first "Alien Earth" will be found in 2013

ts4.mm.bing.net
 
2012-12-28 04:44:34 PM

drake113: In before QA and his inevitable 3D printer prattle.

/seriously, they need a drug to fix what's wrong with him
//Ideally, the drug will have to be manufactured in Zero G out of Ironicons


Stop feeding it.
 
2012-12-28 04:49:28 PM

Holocaust Agnostic: All those people you share the roads with. You want them flinging several thousand pounds of steel around in 3 dimensions instead?



I don't want them driving on the roads either, but we've got that now. We need autonomous cars absolutely as soon as possible. Once we get that, then yes, I'd like to have autonomous cars that fly as well.

Self-driving cars will save many, many lives. How nice will it be to get as drunk as you want, then climb in your car and tell it to take you home? Once we get to that point adding the extra dimension is just fine with me.
 
2012-12-28 04:54:24 PM
i.ytimg.com
YOU HAVE DISPLEASED THE SISCO
 
2012-12-28 04:54:46 PM
Torn.

Won't click FoxNews link ... But the last time I did I was pleasantly surprised.

...Click ... or not ...

Screw it, let's have some baseless conjecture instead!
 
2012-12-28 05:02:57 PM

cgraves67: Grither: I think it'll kinda be like how we claimed the US. Just plant a damn flag where you want to claim something. After killing all the natives, of course.

No, you plant the flag THEN slaughter the natives.

But really, I think when we finally land on a new planet you will hear "I claim this land in the name of Apple-Soft, Inc." or Lockheed-Boeing or some conglomerate like that.


"weyland yutani"
 
2012-12-28 05:13:51 PM
www.millerparkdrunk.com

/"Welcome to alien Earf!"
 
2012-12-28 05:15:06 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
Awesome intro. I can't find it right now.
 
2012-12-28 05:24:18 PM
Wow. You almost got me there. I almost clicked on a Fox News link for a story about science. Nice try though.
 
2012-12-28 05:30:29 PM

USCLaw2010: How do you divy up the land on a new planet? We just going to homestead that biatch? Or have Monsanto and the Koch brothers already acquired all of the futures in alien real estate?


Read Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars trilogy.
 
2012-12-28 05:31:53 PM

DORMAMU: cgraves67: Grither: I think it'll kinda be like how we claimed the US. Just plant a damn flag where you want to claim something. After killing all the natives, of course.

No, you plant the flag THEN slaughter the natives.

But really, I think when we finally land on a new planet you will hear "I claim this land in the name of Apple-Soft, Inc." or Lockheed-Boeing or some conglomerate like that.

"weyland yutani"


Blue Sun?

Hart Associates?

Yoyodyne?
 
2012-12-28 05:50:30 PM
So you think you can relieve population pressures by colonizing another planet? You do realize that there are 200,000+ additional people born on the planet every day? That would mean that in order to reduce the population that you would have to have 200,000+ +1 people leave the Earth every day for this new planet.

So it's either colonize another planet or a bit of family planning and birth control.
 
2012-12-28 05:55:09 PM

mrlewish: So it's either colonize another planet or a bit of family planning and birth control.


Or just raise the price of food...
 
2012-12-28 05:57:08 PM

mrlewish: So you think you can relieve population pressures by colonizing another planet? You do realize that there are 200,000+ additional people born on the planet every day? That would mean that in order to reduce the population that you would have to have 200,000+ +1 people leave the Earth every day for this new planet.

So it's either colonize another planet or a bit of family planning and birth control.


Don't worry, there'll likely be a conflict soon that'll take care of the population. Or a disease. Either way, populations have a way of keeping a balance. You'd better hope we build spaceships. I doubt the alternative will be any fun.
 
2012-12-28 05:59:24 PM

Warrener: mrlewish: So it's either colonize another planet or a bit of family planning and birth control.

Or just raise the price of food...


That will happen by itself if we don't
 
2012-12-28 06:02:12 PM

Warrener: mrlewish: So it's either colonize another planet or a bit of family planning and birth control.

Or just raise the price of food...


Or start a REALLY big war.
 
2012-12-28 06:12:14 PM
baitches indeed. Thanks for the newish word, subby
 
2012-12-28 06:22:40 PM

mongbiohazard: Holocaust Agnostic: All those people you share the roads with. You want them flinging several thousand pounds of steel around in 3 dimensions instead?


I don't want them driving on the roads either, but we've got that now. We need autonomous cars absolutely as soon as possible. Once we get that, then yes, I'd like to have autonomous cars that fly as well.

Self-driving cars will save many, many lives. How nice will it be to get as drunk as you want, then climb in your car and tell it to take you home? Once we get to that point adding the extra dimension is just fine with me.


Vehicles where you just sit back and enjoy the ride?  That's crazy talk, future boy.

www.google.ca
 
2012-12-28 06:25:32 PM
Um. It was engineers that promised flying cars, not scientists.

Engineers suck.
 
2012-12-28 06:59:21 PM

Warrener: mrlewish: So it's either colonize another planet or a bit of family planning and birth control.

Or just raise the price of food...


Or a more convoluted idea:
69.89.31.131
http://69.89.31.131/~myfilmvi/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/2011_in _ time_027.jpg
 
2012-12-28 07:02:16 PM

Grither: Come on guys, can't we at least enjoy the thread until QA gets here, instead of basically doing what he does and just shiatting in it without contributing anything??


This. I know he's a funny little clown, but let's talk about science, huh?
 
2012-12-28 07:10:11 PM
mrlewish: Oh you and your reality and stuff... Don't you realize we'll be mining helium-3 on the Moon with 3D printed androids and have warp drives? Like, anytime now?

What's all this heretical talk about changing our social model? Technology and stuff!
 
2012-12-28 07:14:32 PM

mongbiohazard: Self-driving cars will save many, many lives. How nice will it be to get as drunk as you want, then climb in your car and tell it to take you home? Once we get to that point adding the extra dimension is just fine with me.


If you're talking about the US, they're already legal and being sold in Nevada, and they've been authorized in California for use by 2015 (when the DMV finishes drafting the regs). IIRC outside the US a couple nations have authorized their use as well, I wanna say Austria but I'm not sure.

It's a fairly current technology, with plenty of working models, most companies have been working the kinks out since 2005 or so. If you have a car with laneassist, or adaptive cruise control, or parallel park assist, you've essentially been part of the beta. The projections of the relevant British and US engineering colloquia put the wide availability of fully autonomous consumer products at probably 2015, give or take a couple years. This is why states have started drafting regulations.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomous_car

//You're welcome.
//Drones crash on a regular basis, so the tech isn't there for consumer airplanes/helicopters.
//Yeah, I know it's a bit weird that people have been taking this seriously, but it works.
 
2012-12-28 07:22:43 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: mrlewish: Oh you and your reality and stuff... Don't you realize we'll be mining helium-3 on the Moon with 3D printed androids and have warp drives? Like, anytime now?

What's all this heretical talk about changing our social model? Technology and stuff!


I thought you died of Space AIDS.
 
2012-12-28 08:13:53 PM
Ed Grubermann: I can really feel the Nutter love through my monitor... But let me tell you a little secret... Space is utterly empty, so really, I couldn't get HIV there.
/Actually I used phone sex last night and got hearing AIDS!
//HAHAHHAAAHAA!!!
 
2012-12-28 08:22:00 PM

FirstNationalBastard: 2013: only two years left, and still no hoverboard.

I'd be worrying about getting us hoverboards before looking for some non-existent Alien Earth.


Hoverboards are rubbish. They don't work on water.
 
2012-12-28 08:34:01 PM

Jim_Callahan: It's a fairly current technology, with plenty of working models, most companies have been working the kinks out since 2005 or so. If you have a car with laneassist, or adaptive cruise control, or parallel park assist, you've essentially been part of the beta. The projections of the relevant British and US engineering colloquia put the wide availability of fully autonomous consumer products at probably 2015, give or take a couple years. This is why states have started drafting regulations.


Once they get to market I can't even begin to imagine the FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: SOCIALISM GONNA BAN YER CAR! emails that are going to float around.
 
2012-12-28 10:29:28 PM

Mad_Radhu: FirstNationalBastard: 2013: only two years left, and still no hoverboard.

I'd be worrying about getting us hoverboards before looking for some non-existent Alien Earth.

Hoverboards are rubbish. They don't work on water.



...unless you've got POW-AH!

wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
 
2012-12-28 11:31:30 PM

Mad_Radhu: Hoverboards are rubbish. They don't work on water.


Really dirty water they do.
 
2012-12-28 11:49:03 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Ed Grubermann: I can really feel the Nutter love through my monitor... But let me tell you a little secret... Space is utterly empty, so really, I couldn't get HIV there.
/Actually I used phone sex last night and got hearing AIDS!
//HAHAHHAAAHAA!!!


Dementia. A common symptom of advances space AIDS. Looks like he isn't going to live long enough to reap the benefits of the spice Melange. Ironic, really.
 
2012-12-29 12:51:09 AM
Farker Soze: Make you a bet. If you get a condo on Mars, I'll pay for your life extension. Deal?
 
2012-12-29 01:21:45 AM

LazarusLong42: USCLaw2010: How do you divy up the land on a new planet? We just going to homestead that biatch? Or have Monsanto and the Koch brothers already acquired all of the futures in alien real estate?

Read Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars trilogy.


Thanks for that. I'm not familiar with Robinson.
 
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