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(Fark) HOTY Fark's 2012 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest   (fark.com) divider line 120
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7678 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2012 at 4:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-28 10:23:19 AM
Welcome to the Headline of the Year contest for 2012! These are ordered alphabetically, so be sure to read all the way through before deciding which headlines are worthy of the title of Headline of the Year. Also, the other contests (subtabs, context headlines, etc) are still coming up and the voting threads for those will be on Monday so remember to come back for those.

This is fun for us to vote on, but the credit goes to the many submitters that are the only reason we can have this contest every year. You are some funny, funny people. Well done.

Okay, enough with the talk. Without further ado, this is your 2012 Headline of the Year contest.
 
2012-12-28 10:23:45 AM
14-year-old Snigdha Nandipati wins Scripps National Spelling Bee by correctly spelling Snigdha Nandipati

http://www.fark.com/comments/7138379
 
2012-12-28 10:24:20 AM
Al Qaeda is down to one senior leader; once al-Zawahiri is killed, they'll have to bring someone up from AAAl Qaeda

http://www.fark.com/comments/7147465
 
2012-12-28 10:24:36 AM
Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday

http://www.fark.com/comments/7354019
 
2012-12-28 10:24:55 AM
Arctic rivers add toxic mercury to the Arctic Ocean. This sounds like something that came from Hg wells

http://www.fark.com/comments/7120828
 
2012-12-28 10:25:13 AM
Arizona migrant case could lead to sweeping changes. Also dishwashing changes, landscaping changes, and nanny changes

http://www.fark.com/comments/7072235
 
2012-12-28 10:25:33 AM
Blind, deaf, 3-legged dog saves family from house fire, sure plays a mean pinball

http://www.fark.com/comments/7448009
 
2012-12-28 10:25:49 AM
Cougar enters home through dog door. In related news, your mom started drinking again

http://www.fark.com/comments/7454351
 
2012-12-28 10:26:19 AM
Hand, foot and now a partial body in Montreal. Could this be the work of separatists?

http://www.fark.com/comments/7134260
 
2012-12-28 10:26:36 AM
Louis Farrakhan says "Jesus was a black man." Well, Jesus liked Gospel, called everyone "brother" and couldn't get a fair trial, so it may be true

http://www.fark.com/comments/7047952
 
2012-12-28 10:26:56 AM
Man enters zoo enclosure to feed the tigers, succeeds

http://www.fark.com/comments/7208205
 
2012-12-28 10:27:11 AM
Massachusetts' largest white oak killed. Police are rounding up all the black oaks in the area

http://www.fark.com/comments/7257124
 
2012-12-28 10:28:13 AM
Missing algebra teacher found dead -- investigators looking to solve for why, query ex

http://www.fark.com/comments/6878047
 
2012-12-28 10:28:34 AM
Mother of autistic son facing criminal charges because he's tardy. Well that just seems insensitive

http://www.fark.com/comments/6861030
 
2012-12-28 10:28:54 AM
Mother-of-two disfigured by seven tumors on her face says, "Tumor would benign"

http://www.fark.com/comments/7157492
 
2012-12-28 10:29:13 AM
New research discovers difference in visual acuity between men and women: men have greater sensitivity to fine detail and rapid movements, and women can see everything you ever did wrong

http://www.fark.com/comments/7307455
 
2012-12-28 10:29:34 AM
"Police search for three armed men in home invasion." STANDARD HANDCUFFS WON'T WORK, PEOPLE

http://www.fark.com/comments/7112173
 
2012-12-28 10:29:59 AM
Printer ink tanker truck overturns. Damages estimated at seven hundred trillion dollars

http://www.fark.com/comments/6950784
 
2012-12-28 10:30:19 AM
Q: What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A: The pickpocket snatches your watch

http://www.fark.com/comments/6842566
 
2012-12-28 10:30:39 AM
Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" opens in theaters, despite the fact that Lincoln historically doesn't do well in theaters

http://www.fark.com/comments/7431428
 
2012-12-28 10:31:02 AM
Zoo keeper enters pen to feed the lions, succeeds

http://www.fark.com/comments/6941508
 
2012-12-28 10:32:02 AM
The previous quarterfinals contests, for your viewing pleasure:

Round 1: http://www.fark.com/comments/7472542

Round 2: http://www.fark.com/comments/7480606

Round 3: http://www.fark.com/comments/7489936

Round 4: http://www.fark.com/comments/7502353
 
2012-12-28 10:33:05 AM
Here are a few other honorable mentions that I personally liked, but that didn't make the cut for this contest. I still thought that they were pretty good in their own right:

Gun accident in Florida church leaves pastor's daughter holier than thou
http://www.fark.com/comments/6938402

Turtle escapes NYC wildlife center, beats Giants secondary for a 39-yard gain
http://www.fark.com/comments/6788545

School bus hit by flying car, no one inju--FLYING CARS ARE HERE
http://www.fark.com/comments/6847410

The Melvins are selling their van, which features artwork by Kurt Cobain on the side. I CALL SHOTGUN
http://www.fark.com/comments/6979958

The inventor of the TV remote control has passed away. His body was discovered after several weeks, buried between the couch cushions
http://www.fark.com/comments/7119793

Sydney brothel gets go-ahead from town planning council for multi-million dollar expansion into a "mega-brothel", upsetting local residents and activists who didn't want another Big-Box Store in their neighborhood
http://www.fark.com/comments/7172350

Enterprise damaged enroute to Intrepid. This is not a repeat from 2947.3
http://www.fark.com/comments/7145885

Typhoon Haikui Strikes - East Coast of China Hit - Evacuate Now
http://www.fark.com/comments/7257049

Fireworks explode while man attempts to light homemade cannon. "It's no big deal" he said offhandedly
http://www.fark.com/comments/7197261

Meghan McCain says she's not voting with her vagina, presumably because the voting levers aren't placed low enough
http://www.fark.com/comments/7389771

Blackberry network down all over the Middle East. THIS IS AN OUTAGE
http://www.fark.com/comments/7340337

Larry Sloan, co-_________ of Mad Libs, _________ at age 89. He will be ___________
http://www.fark.com/comments/7385745

Plane carrying trekkers crashes in Nepal, killing all 19 on board. Recovery team having difficulty because they were all wearing identical red shirts
http://www.fark.com/comments/7353224

New museum exhibit of Frida Kahlo's wardrobe is sure to raise a few eyebrow
http://www.fark.com/comments/7455902

Menstrual cycle affects asthma, AMONG OTHER THINGS
http://www.fark.com/comments/7425999
 
2012-12-28 10:41:14 AM

Unfreakable: The previous quarterfinals contests, for your viewing pleasure:


This is truly one of the awesomeest things about Fark. Thank you.
 
2012-12-28 10:43:28 AM

Headline of the Year candidate: Cougar enters home through dog door. In related news, your mom started drinking again


In my opinion, this one wins because it's got the best imagery. I just cackled out loud at my desk for five minutes.
 
2012-12-28 10:48:52 AM

flucto: Unfreakable: The previous quarterfinals contests, for your viewing pleasure:

This is truly one of the awesomeest things about Fark. Thank you.


Happy to do it. I love this contest. :-)
 
2012-12-28 10:56:13 AM
ok, the lions one and the tigers one are the same headline.
 
2012-12-28 10:59:37 AM
Not as good as last year, but still pretty damn funny
 
2012-12-28 11:06:35 AM

Unfreakable: The Melvins are selling their van, which features artwork by Kurt Cobain on the side. I CALL SHOTGUN


i1123.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-28 11:07:00 AM

SlothB77: ok, the lions one and the tigers one are the same headline.


Yeah, and both are basically related to this Headline of the Year candidate from 2011:  http://www.fark.com/comments/6141083/Teen-tries-to-feed-shark-succeed s
 
2012-12-28 11:22:54 AM

Headline of the Year candidate: Missing algebra teacher found dead -- investigators looking to solve for why, query ex

http://www.fark.com/comments/6878047


+1
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-12-28 11:34:41 AM
The alphabetic sort correlates with quality. I.e. I liked the A headlines better.
 
Byn
2012-12-28 11:37:33 AM

Headline of the Year candidate: Hand, foot and now a partial body in Montreal. Could this be the work of separatists?


Good god, I cannot stop laughing at this one.
 
2012-12-28 11:39:04 AM

Headline of the Year candidate: Mother of autistic son facing criminal charges because he's tardy. Well that just seems insensitive

http://www.fark.com/comments/6861030


This one gets me.
 
2012-12-28 11:41:48 AM
I am disappoint in these options.  NOTHING is absolutely funny.  Lots of wordplay for sure, but nothing to make me bust my gut laughing.
 
2012-12-28 11:47:06 AM

Unfreakable: flucto: Unfreakable: The previous quarterfinals contests, for your viewing pleasure:

This is truly one of the awesomeest things about Fark. Thank you.

Happy to do it. I love this contest. :-)


Me too.  Even if these voters didn't see the humor in any of my headlines!!!!

Good job Unfreakable!
 
2012-12-28 12:06:16 PM
Just like the American elections, I voted 5 times!!
 
2012-12-28 12:18:59 PM
Do we have duplicate headlines?
 
2012-12-28 12:36:15 PM
Great headlines this year, as always. Good job to all the submitters out there.
 
2012-12-28 12:45:55 PM
You guys find new ways to crack me up every year. Good job submitters.

/liked Printer Ink and Alzheimer's(felt guilty laughing at the latter)
 
2012-12-28 01:05:46 PM
Why the same headline twice?
 
2012-12-28 01:07:40 PM
...We have two nominees who used the same joke.
 
2012-12-28 01:08:25 PM

Headline of the Year candidate: New research discovers difference in visual acuity between men and women: men have greater sensitivity to fine detail and rapid movements, and women can see everything you ever did wrong

http://www.fark.com/comments/7307455


Gonna have to run with this one. I was once screamed at for cheating in a dream, just like the Reservoir Dogs quote.

 Seriously, she burst into my peaceful sleep and started screeching that I was banging some other girl in a dream she'd had. Apparently it was my fault. Not hers, ever. Even though it was her freakin' dream.

 Jesus.
 
2012-12-28 01:10:47 PM

chopit: Why the same headline twice?


Probably got voted in from different quarters. We wouldn't have noticed voting for both of them weeks apart.
 
2012-12-28 01:13:33 PM

dugitman: You guys find new ways to crack me up every year. Good job submitters.

/liked Printer Ink and Alzheimer's(felt guilty laughing at the latter)


But then you forgot why you were laughing?
 
2012-12-28 01:15:50 PM
I loved the Alzheimer's one, because it reminded me of a story a friend told me. Apparently one of his grandmas is blind and the other has Alzheimer's. During a family reunion, someone decided it would be OK if they went to the park across the street together, as long as they held hands. Well, two hours later, they found them a mile away in a residential neighborhood on the other side of the park. Blind grandma was ready to strangle Alzheimer's grandma, who honestly had no clue why the other woman was so upset or even who that other woman was or why they were holding hands.

I laughed so hard at his family and didn't feel a bit bad about it.

/still giggling, years later, when I think  about it
//yeah, I know. CSS
 
2012-12-28 01:16:19 PM

flucto: Unfreakable: The previous quarterfinals contests, for your viewing pleasure:

This is truly one of the awesomeest things about Fark. Thank you.


This.
 
2012-12-28 01:17:06 PM

Gosling: ...We have two nominees who used the same joke.


And it wasn't original either time.
 
2012-12-28 01:17:09 PM

Dancin_In_Anson: Unfreakable: The Melvins are selling their van, which features artwork by Kurt Cobain on the side. I CALL SHOTGUN

[i1123.photobucket.com image 420x273]


Damn, I was hoping that was one of the finalists.
 
2012-12-28 01:23:05 PM
Voted. Boo to identical headlines (lions/tigers) feeding off of each other.

Hg Wells for TMFW!
 
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