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(Canoe)   If you run a toy store and pay a clerk $60,000 to be your kinky sex slave, you can eventually expect a lawsuit   ( cnews.canoe.ca) divider line
    More: PSA, toy store, sex slaves, clerk  
•       •       •

16876 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2012 at 12:21 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-12-28 09:46:14 AM  
8 votes:
If I ran a toy store I would have a Slinky sex slave.

They don't talk.

What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's fun for a girl or a boy!

Well, if that doesn't get you worked up nothing will.
2012-12-28 10:47:02 AM  
3 votes:

brap: If I ran a toy store I would have a Slinky sex slave.

They don't talk.

What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's fun for a girl or a boy!

Well, if that doesn't get you worked up nothing will.


www.webaddict.co.za
What a kinky slinky may look like.
2012-12-28 10:31:51 AM  
3 votes:

brap: If I ran a toy store I would have a Slinky sex slave.

They don't talk.

What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's fun for a girl or a boy!

Well, if that doesn't get you worked up nothing will.


Go on...
2012-12-28 03:18:35 PM  
2 votes:

FuryOfFirestorm: DROxINxTHExWIND: Fark In The Duck: DROxINxTHExWIND: ...skank who was farking the boss.

You say, "...skank who was farking the boss" like it's a bad thing...

I know you're joking, but I probably could walk that statement back a little bit. It could be that they were genuinely attracted to one another and it just happend that he was in a position to influence her pay. First comes the flirting. Then, one day someone says something that can be taken as, "ok, I'd like to fark you" and they start humping. After a couple of "dates" they begin pillow talking about her financial situation and her struggles. He throws her a few dollars, then promotes her, then promotes her again, never really tying the promotions to either her performance in bed or her performance in the office. It goes unspoken. She begins to feel that she is earning her pay through her work performance and she attempts to seperate the job from the relationship. She also is now in a different income brachet which is allowing her to go out and meet men closer to her own age who also want to fark. She gets tired of lying to the boss about where she's going to be every other night and she tries to end the relationship, as if it will have no effect on her job. He reminds her that she is a low-skilled worker who is being overpaid by firing her without cause. She sues.

Dude, RTFA. Her boss was also paying her rent "and other expenses". I'm pretty sure she knew that he wasn't doing it out of the goodness of his heart.


Right. And how did he get to the point where he waas paying her rent? By playing the boyfriend role. She comes over looking all sad after they fark the first time. He asks whats wrong because he knows that he's less likely to fark her if she's not in a good mood. She goes into some bullshiat about her landlord hating her and how the rental office took two months to fix her leaking bathroom ceiling. She claims that she didn't pay the rent because the work wasn't completed and now they are threatening to kick her out. He puts on his cape, transforms into Captain Saveahoe and runs to the bank to withdraw her rent money. That night she blows him while holding a candle to his nuts and he falls in love.

Its really a classic love story.
2012-12-28 12:47:59 PM  
2 votes:

vernonFL: Wait a minute....You can get paid to have sex?


Well no, YOU can't get paid. Everyone else can though.

Except me.

And maybe that fat guy over there.
2012-12-29 12:33:04 AM  
1 vote:
I wonder if it is OK to simply post a Help Wanted Ad for a Sex Slave

Salary $60K
Medical, Dental, 401K
Must be Female and Cute between the age of 18 and 24
No Fat Chicks!
Interview may involve farking.
2012-12-28 03:29:14 PM  
1 vote:

DROxINxTHExWIND: FuryOfFirestorm: DROxINxTHExWIND: Fark In The Duck: DROxINxTHExWIND: ...skank who was farking the boss.

You say, "...skank who was farking the boss" like it's a bad thing...

I know you're joking, but I probably could walk that statement back a little bit. It could be that they were genuinely attracted to one another and it just happend that he was in a position to influence her pay. First comes the flirting. Then, one day someone says something that can be taken as, "ok, I'd like to fark you" and they start humping. After a couple of "dates" they begin pillow talking about her financial situation and her struggles. He throws her a few dollars, then promotes her, then promotes her again, never really tying the promotions to either her performance in bed or her performance in the office. It goes unspoken. She begins to feel that she is earning her pay through her work performance and she attempts to seperate the job from the relationship. She also is now in a different income brachet which is allowing her to go out and meet men closer to her own age who also want to fark. She gets tired of lying to the boss about where she's going to be every other night and she tries to end the relationship, as if it will have no effect on her job. He reminds her that she is a low-skilled worker who is being overpaid by firing her without cause. She sues.

Dude, RTFA. Her boss was also paying her rent "and other expenses". I'm pretty sure she knew that he wasn't doing it out of the goodness of his heart.

Right. And how did he get to the point where he waas paying her rent? By playing the boyfriend role. She comes over looking all sad after they fark the first time. He asks whats wrong because he knows that he's less likely to fark her if she's not in a good mood. She goes into some bullshiat about her landlord hating her and how the rental office took two months to fix her leaking bathroom ceiling. She claims that she didn't pay the rent because the work wasn't completed and now t ...


"Captain Saveahoe" would be a great Fark handle.
2012-12-28 02:59:22 PM  
1 vote:

God--: [i2.listal.com image 600x399]

I think we've found and eager replacement


Eager, or not, I'd pay her $171,926.18. As long as she says yes.

Why $171,926.18? Because my financial advisor is an idiot, that's why!
2012-12-28 02:19:53 PM  
1 vote:

filter: DROxINxTHExWIND: Magorn: DROxINxTHExWIND: She admits that she was promoted because they were farking. Now she doesn't want to fark anymore...so she doesn't get the money. He didn't fire her, she quit. I hope they rule against her and make her pay his court costs. It'll be a small victory for the frumpy, less attractive employee who came in on time everyday and busted her ass to sell toys, only to be passed over by a skank who was farking the boss.

It's STILL actionable sexual harrasment.  Not the "hostile work environment" variety we're used to seeing in news stories but the equally actionable "quid pro quo" variety.  Giving someone a promotion for sleeping with you is the same legally as refusing one because the employee WOULDN'T Sleep with you.

The rule is incredibly simple: Don;t dip you pen in the company ink.   I bet this guy could have found a "kept" woman who would have happily indulged his kinky tastes  on craiglist for the same price or maybe cheaper.

Look, I manage a department for a large television station. I am literally, as I type, looking at one of the nicest asses that I have ever seen. That ass is attached to one of the women on my staff. I've never even almost suggested to her that I would do anything other than shake her hand. I'm hip to the different kinds of harassment and the rules of the office. You don't shiat where you eat. That said, I'm not speaking about the employee manual. I'm talking about common sense. In THIS situation, two consenting adults engaged in sexual behavior that benefitted one of them financially. Technically, yes this is harassment. But, the information that we have suggests that she was all in.

I'd fark her. I married a woman I supervised in a pro office. farked the woman she replaced as well. Had a woman quit before her because I would NOT fark her. farked a manager from a major competitor as well.


I hate to spoil your csb but most of us on fark have also farked women. Even some of the dudes. What I don't believe is that you refused free sex. The most delusionally narcissistic man in the world who truly thinks he is dogs gift to women would still never pass on free pussy. It's ingrained into our DNA just like wiping our dicks off on the curtains after sex when she doesn't offer a towel or kleenex.

/riiiiiiiiilly disappointed in the lack of helpful pics of what a $60,000+ per year whore looks like
2012-12-28 01:19:38 PM  
1 vote:

deamonbutterfly: splat the whale: Brick-House: deamonbutterfly: brap: If I ran a toy store I would have a Slinky sex slave.


What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's fun for a girl or a boy!

Well, if that doesn't get you worked up nothing will.

I prefer LOG! from Blammo. Its gret for a snack, and fits on your back.

If I end up having that fricken song stuck in my head all day, I am gonna hurt you.

TOOOOOOOOOO LATE!!!!!

/alone, or in pairs

/its big. its heavy. its wood.


It's Log, it's Log, it's better than bad it's good!
2012-12-28 01:13:34 PM  
1 vote:

splat the whale: Brick-House: deamonbutterfly: brap: If I ran a toy store I would have a Slinky sex slave.


What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's fun for a girl or a boy!

Well, if that doesn't get you worked up nothing will.

I prefer LOG! from Blammo. Its gret for a snack, and fits on your back.

If I end up having that fricken song stuck in my head all day, I am gonna hurt you.

TOOOOOOOOOO LATE!!!!!

/alone, or in pairs


/its big. its heavy. its wood.
2012-12-28 12:58:45 PM  
1 vote:

vernonFL: Wait a minute....You can get paid to have sex?


No, you can't.

/me neither
2012-12-28 12:48:40 PM  
1 vote:
Mr. Magorium has fallen so far since his movie... :(
2012-12-28 12:47:55 PM  
1 vote:

DROxINxTHExWIND: Magorn: DROxINxTHExWIND: She admits that she was promoted because they were farking. Now she doesn't want to fark anymore...so she doesn't get the money. He didn't fire her, she quit. I hope they rule against her and make her pay his court costs. It'll be a small victory for the frumpy, less attractive employee who came in on time everyday and busted her ass to sell toys, only to be passed over by a skank who was farking the boss.

It's STILL actionable sexual harrasment.  Not the "hostile work environment" variety we're used to seeing in news stories but the equally actionable "quid pro quo" variety.  Giving someone a promotion for sleeping with you is the same legally as refusing one because the employee WOULDN'T Sleep with you.

The rule is incredibly simple: Don;t dip you pen in the company ink.   I bet this guy could have found a "kept" woman who would have happily indulged his kinky tastes  on craiglist for the same price or maybe cheaper.

Look, I manage a department for a large television station. I am literally, as I type, looking at one of the nicest asses that I have ever seen. That ass is attached to one of the women on my staff. I've never even almost suggested to her that I would do anything other than shake her hand. I'm hip to the different kinds of harassment and the rules of the office. You don't shiat where you eat. That said, I'm not speaking about the employee manual. I'm talking about common sense. In THIS situation, two consenting adults engaged in sexual behavior that benefitted one of them financially. Technically, yes this is harassment. But, the information that we have suggests that she was all in.


Yeah you are right, she's hardly blameless, but OTOH it seems like he chaanged the rules midstream.  While she may have been okay farking the boss, the whips and chains may not have been part of the original deal and it ain't exactly fair that she was then in a postion of "accept the new situation ofr lose your job"

/once had a secretary with an equally fine posterior in my first adult job at a courthouse
//ended up putting her over my knee in the judge we both worked for  private chambers
///Cannot believe I was ever, so young, horny and stupid
2012-12-28 12:42:22 PM  
1 vote:

uncleacid: Tickle Me Amanda.


Amanda Hugankiss?
2012-12-28 12:36:03 PM  
1 vote:
Tickle Me Amanda.
2012-12-28 12:33:20 PM  
1 vote:
i45.tinypic.com
where does he get those wonderful toys
2012-12-28 12:31:22 PM  
1 vote:

deamonbutterfly: brap: If I ran a toy store I would have a Slinky sex slave.


What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's fun for a girl or a boy!

Well, if that doesn't get you worked up nothing will.

I prefer LOG! from Blammo. Its gret for a snack, and fits on your back.


If I end up having that fricken song stuck in my head all day, I am gonna hurt you.
2012-12-28 12:30:08 PM  
1 vote:
FTA: 50 Shades-like sex relationship, reports the New York Daily News. "I was fine with the kinky sex, in fact I enjoyed much of it but it was the tortured metaphors and poor grammar that finally turned me off."
2012-12-28 12:28:55 PM  
1 vote:

brap: If I ran a toy store I would have a Slinky sex slave.


What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it's Slinky. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's Slinky, it's Slinky, it's fun, it's a wonderful toy. It's fun for a girl or a boy!

Well, if that doesn't get you worked up nothing will.


I prefer LOG! from Blammo. Its gret for a snack, and fits on your back.
2012-12-28 12:27:17 PM  
1 vote:
Battle of the Reyes/Reis - es
2012-12-28 12:26:38 PM  
1 vote:
$60 grand a year and rent paid? I guess still cheaper than marriage.
2012-12-28 12:25:10 PM  
1 vote:
So $60,000 was all fine and dandy to be a sex slave until the sex got rough?

Call it a draw, part your separate ways.
2012-12-28 12:25:04 PM  
1 vote:
The boss promoted her from $10-per-hour wage slave to store manager and sex slave, at a salary of $60,000...

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
2012-12-28 12:24:27 PM  
1 vote:
The boss promoted her from $10-per-hour wage slave to store manager and sex slave, at a salary of $60,000, when the hanky-panky began back in March, according to the lawsuit cited by the newspaper. Reis also allegedly paid Reyes' rent and other expenses.

Reyes claims she was fired on Aug. 29 after she tried to end the relationship.


You had a good run, Job Creator.
 
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