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(Examiner)   UFO hunter Nick Pope predicts aliens will have Gmail by 2024   (examiner.com) divider line 45
    More: Silly, Nick Pope, Britain's UFO, ska, Tiananmen Square, White House lawns, hunters  
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3539 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2012 at 11:11 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-28 11:13:06 AM  
As long as we can still upload a virus to their mainframe we will be all set.
 
2012-12-28 11:14:08 AM  
An email about penis enhancement?
 
2012-12-28 11:14:27 AM  
Sounds a lot cleaner than mutilating cows but not as cool looking as crop circle to send message
 
2012-12-28 11:16:51 AM  
I think they should continue the practice of giving the messages to unhinged rednecks to pass along to the rest of us.
 
2012-12-28 11:17:29 AM  

probesport: As long as we can still upload a virus to their mainframe we will be all set.


Steve Jobs was an alien.
 
2012-12-28 11:18:06 AM  
I love how "alien hunters" think that aliens are somehow smart enough to travel light years but dumb enough to somehow be detected.
 
2012-12-28 11:21:46 AM  
Who does he thinks runs Google?
You want to learn about a race, own their search engines.
 
2012-12-28 11:22:52 AM  

LegacyDL: probesport: As long as we can still upload a virus to their mainframe we will be all set.

Steve Jobs was an alien.


No. It was his father.
 
2012-12-28 11:24:06 AM  

KiwDaWabbit: I love how "alien hunters" think that aliens are somehow smart enough to travel light years but dumb enough to somehow be detected.


Why would aliens care? Fysically cloaking something, making it invisible to the naked eye, plugging the hole in background radiation and masking various other forms of radiation produced by the vessel sounds like more effort than it is worth when moving around a solar system whose inhabitants can barely leave their planet for a few months.
 
2012-12-28 11:25:30 AM  
At any given time there are approximately 1,500 aliens on the planet, most of them right in Manhattan.. And most of them are decent enough. They're just trying to make a living.
 
2012-12-28 11:26:45 AM  
And Google+ will still be a wasteland.....
 
2012-12-28 11:30:18 AM  

DerAppie: KiwDaWabbit: I love how "alien hunters" think that aliens are somehow smart enough to travel light years but dumb enough to somehow be detected.

Why would aliens care? Fysically cloaking something, making it invisible to the naked eye, plugging the hole in background radiation and masking various other forms of radiation produced by the vessel sounds like more effort than it is worth when moving around a solar system whose inhabitants can barely leave their planet for a few months.


I mean if they can travel across the universe, they can probably create a button to do all that shiat.
 
2012-12-28 11:33:36 AM  
The Romney doll was a failure.
Hope they do better next try.
 
2012-12-28 11:34:34 AM  
I think the term is 'illegals'.
 
2012-12-28 11:40:23 AM  

KiwDaWabbit: DerAppie: KiwDaWabbit: I love how "alien hunters" think that aliens are somehow smart enough to travel light years but dumb enough to somehow be detected.

Why would aliens care? Fysically cloaking something, making it invisible to the naked eye, plugging the hole in background radiation and masking various other forms of radiation produced by the vessel sounds like more effort than it is worth when moving around a solar system whose inhabitants can barely leave their planet for a few months.

I mean if they can travel across the universe, they can probably create a button to do all that shiat.


Sure, they probably could. But it costs resources to outfit every single craft with the tech. Just think of it like this, we can make every car bullet resistant, but we don't. So why should aliens spend resources doing stuff that isn't directly beneficial to them?
 
2012-12-28 11:42:30 AM  
Nick Pope, UK's Whatever UFO Story You Want GoTo Media Whore.
 
2012-12-28 11:42:44 AM  
Is there an inherent human need to predict some world-wide apocalypse? Just in my lifetime, 1989, for some reason, 2000, which actually had some real world justification and this? Farking enough already. The world will end when the sun burns out, which will long after we evolved to the point where we don't need the world.
 
2012-12-28 11:45:46 AM  
Godzilla Mail in Space, makes Space Godzilla Barf

hobbiestoy.com
 
2012-12-28 11:45:53 AM  

Mugato: Is there an inherent human need to predict some world-wide apocalypse? Just in my lifetime, 1989, for some reason, 2000, which actually had some real world justification and this? Farking enough already. The world will end when the sun burns out, which will long after we evolved to the point where we don't need the world.


Assuming we don't make it uninhabitable for ourselves first. Either way, yeah, the planet will outlive us, whether we're extinct or not present. And, I seriously doubt that we have the chops for the "not present" option.
 
2012-12-28 12:19:06 PM  
oblig

assets.sbnation.com
 
2012-12-28 12:24:01 PM  

LegacyDL: probesport: As long as we can still upload a virus to their mainframe we will be all set.

Steve Jobs was is an alien.

FTFY
 
2012-12-28 12:26:39 PM  
We will be able to detect the street lights from a planet.
 
2012-12-28 12:28:30 PM  
Dear Mr. or Ms. Earthling,

I am an esteemed attorney representing the estate of Grand Emperor Vlorth of Pxylop XII, who came to own your puny solar system after besting Glysox IV in the fifteenth round of Rock-Paper-Scissors. You've been declared supreme ruler of your pithy planet via a lottery you never entered and can claim it once you pay transfer fees of $57.23, three wrapped Twinkies and a copy of Zero Wing for the Sega Mega Drive.

Payment can be made to The Estate of Grand Emperor Vlorth, c/o the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Sincerely,

Some obviously made up name that differs from that in the email address
 
2012-12-28 12:31:37 PM  
Leave it up to a Pope to believe in non existent sky creatures.
 
2012-12-28 12:47:27 PM  
New York Times December 27th 2024

Former British politician and UFO project leader Nick Clegg has boldly predicted that aliens will reveal themselves to humans no later than 2036, and might even land in Tienanmen Square, just like in the movies.

What makes him so sure?

According to an article published by the Jagran Post, that's when the largest telescope in history will go online, improving current imaging and spectrum detection quality by a factor of 50, and at 10,000 times the speed of modern telescopes.

[of course, all this will be written in Chinese so that Americans can read it]
 
2012-12-28 12:55:45 PM  

KiwDaWabbit: I love how "alien hunters" think that aliens are somehow smart enough to travel light years but dumb enough to somehow be detected.


Maybe they are so smart that they actually thought of that and decided it is not necessary to hide themselves. The general population will automatically assume that each UFO photo is either faked or swamp gas, and that each person telling about an encounter is either mental or faking it. There are thousands of UFO videos, photos and detailed reports of encounters, yet no serious person believes they are true.

In addition, when you are an alien preparing a population for eventual contact, occasionally showing yourself, flashing around the sky and mutilating a cow or two might be a good way to prepare the population and have them start thinking about extra-terrestial life before actually making contact.


/Personally I think it's all streetlights and swampgas.
 
2012-12-28 12:58:56 PM  
i.ytimg.com
i.ytimg.com

uh oh.....
 
2012-12-28 01:01:14 PM  

Hector Remarkable: At any given time there are approximately 1,500 aliens on the planet, most of them right in Manhattan.. And most of them are decent enough. They're just trying to make a living.


WHAT YOU DID THERE
www.dfwind.com
WAIT TELL ME AGAIN
 
2012-12-28 01:20:28 PM  

bikkurikun: KiwDaWabbit: I love how "alien hunters" think that aliens are somehow smart enough to travel light years but dumb enough to somehow be detected.

Maybe they are so smart that they actually thought of that and decided it is not necessary to hide themselves. The general population will automatically assume that each UFO photo is either faked or swamp gas, and that each person telling about an encounter is either mental or faking it. There are thousands of UFO videos, photos and detailed reports of encounters, yet no serious person believes they are true.

In addition, when you are an alien preparing a population for eventual contact, occasionally showing yourself, flashing around the sky and mutilating a cow or two might be a good way to prepare the population and have them start thinking about extra-terrestial life before actually making contact.


/Personally I think it's all streetlights and swampgas.


Of course, that's all assuming that they would want to make contact. Personally, I don't think we're worth it. I mean, do they want to learn about Gangnam Style?
 
2012-12-28 01:49:37 PM  
I've been on this planet 56 of your earth years and all I've discovered is my doctor wants to probe my ass.
 
2012-12-28 01:58:36 PM  
"Sure it seems possible that alien civilizations would travel 100's of light year to plant crop circles in Wiltshire, or scare the daylights of of poor guy in a pickup truck on a lonely road in Arizona. But it seems rather unlikely."

- Bill Bryson


The article states that if when this new telescope is ready, it will be able to identify possibly inhabited worlds 100 light years away. That's all fine and well, but we will still only be seeing them as they were 100 years ago. And the same goes for them. They'll be seeing us before air travel was commonplace.
 
2012-12-28 02:23:19 PM  
Mugato 2012-12-28 11:42:44 AM

Is there an inherent human need to predict some world-wide apocalypse? Just in my lifetime, 1989, for some reason, 2000, which actually had some real world justification and this? Farking enough already. The world will end when the sun burns out, which will long after we evolved to the point where we don't need the world


Oh, you missed the Great Planetary Alignment of 1983 that was supposed to have ended the world? I'm sorry. It was pretty...boring actually.
 
2012-12-28 02:31:41 PM  
And, how would that be different from now? I'm convinced that half of you guys can't be human.
 
2012-12-28 02:33:18 PM  

furterfan: New York Times December 27th 2024

Former British politician and UFO project leader Nick Clegg has boldly predicted that aliens will reveal themselves to humans no later than 2036, and might even land in Tienanmen Square, just like in the movies.

What makes him so sure?

According to an article published by the Jagran Post, that's when the largest telescope in history will go online, improving current imaging and spectrum detection quality by a factor of 50, and at 10,000 times the speed of modern telescopes.

[of course, all this will be written in Chinese so that Americans can read it]


In addition to baseless speculation, the article also exaggerated the rise of China and American decline.
 
2012-12-28 02:57:33 PM  

Glass Parking Lot Attendant: Mugato 2012-12-28 11:42:44 AM

Is there an inherent human need to predict some world-wide apocalypse? Just in my lifetime, 1989, for some reason, 2000, which actually had some real world justification and this? Farking enough already. The world will end when the sun burns out, which will long after we evolved to the point where we don't need the world


, you missed the Great Planetary Alignment of 1983 that was supposed to have ended the world? I'm sorry. It was pretty...boring actually.


You youngsters! - I was there when the JW's apocalypse happened (or rather didn't) in 1975.

/get off my lawn
 
2012-12-28 03:14:12 PM  

iheartscotch: And, how would that be different from now? I'm convinced that half of you guys can't be human.


Just half? Really?

We're complimented by that.
 
2012-12-28 03:47:06 PM  

probesport: As long as we can still upload a virus to their mainframe we will be all set.


Honestly.

While I started to say 'How can anyone over the age of seven believe that?' I suddenly realized that the seven-year-olds might catch on to how preposterous the whole idea was before the adults.

Yeah, the whole film was pretty stupid, and the so-called advanced race of evil aliens not the brightest nova in the universe either. Considering all those fancy model spacecraft they were driving around anyway.
 
2012-12-28 03:48:10 PM  

mayIFark: LegacyDL: probesport: As long as we can still upload a virus to their mainframe we will be all set.

Steve Jobs was an alien.

No. It was his father.


The Kenyan?
 
2012-12-28 08:03:00 PM  

iheartscotch: And, how would that be different from now? I'm convinced that half of you guys can't be human.


You are right on.
Half of all humans are subhuman.
 
2012-12-28 08:37:49 PM  
Never really get why Examiner.com articles get greenlit. It's like writing an entry in your blog then submitting it to fark like it's a farking NYT article. Gimme a break.
 
2012-12-28 08:37:50 PM  

DerAppie: Sure, they probably could. But it costs resources to outfit every single craft with the tech. Just think of it like this, we can make every car bullet resistant, but we don't. So why should aliens spend resources doing stuff that isn't directly beneficial to them?


I heard it comes as standard equipment now.
 
2012-12-28 08:42:02 PM  

durbnpoisn: The article states that if when this new telescope is ready, it will be able to identify possibly inhabited worlds 100 light years away. That's all fine and well, but we will still only be seeing them as they were 100 years ago. And the same goes for them. They'll be seeing us before air travel was commonplace.


Not really. Their telescopes go up to 11.
 
2012-12-29 04:46:42 AM  
Yeah I can see it now... flying saucer lands on White House lawn. Alien steps out.

Aliens: "Greetings human!"
Humans: "Who are you?"
Aliens: "I come from an advanced interstellar civilization. I am here to enlighten your people and invite them to join us in peace."
Humans: "Great! What do you wish to teach us?"
Aliens: "Here is the cure for cancer."
Humans: "Awesome!"
Aliens: "Here is how to create a free-energy generator."
Humans: "Incredible!"
Big Oil: "Now hang on a minute..."
Aliens: "Here is proof that religion is bullshiat."
Humans: *bang bang bang bang bang*
Aliens: *bleed bleed bleed bleed bleed*

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-29 07:35:41 AM  

NephilimNexus: Yeah I can see it now... flying saucer lands on White House lawn. Alien steps out.

Aliens: "Greetings human!"
Humans: "Who are you?"
Aliens: "I come from an advanced interstellar civilization. I am here to enlighten your people and invite them to join us in peace."
Humans: "Great! What do you wish to teach us?"
Aliens: "Here is the cure for cancer."
Humans: "Awesome!"
Aliens: "Here is how to create a free-energy generator."
Humans: "Incredible!"
Big Oil: "Now hang on a minute..."
Aliens: "Here is proof that religion is bullshiat."
Humans: *bang bang bang bang bang*
Aliens: *bleed bleed bleed bleed bleed*

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 320x203]


www.yoism.org
 
2012-12-29 11:10:11 AM  

bikkurikun: KiwDaWabbit: I love how "alien hunters" think that aliens are somehow smart enough to travel light years but dumb enough to somehow be detected.

Maybe they are so smart that they actually thought of that and decided it is not necessary to hide themselves. The general population will automatically assume that each UFO photo is either faked or swamp gas, and that each person telling about an encounter is either mental or faking it. There are thousands of UFO videos, photos and detailed reports of encounters, yet no serious person believes they are true.

In addition, when you are an alien preparing a population for eventual contact, occasionally showing yourself, flashing around the sky and mutilating a cow or two might be a good way to prepare the population and have them start thinking about extra-terrestial life before actually making contact.


/Personally I think it's all streetlights and swampgas.


Here's my UFO theory. Aliens come to our planet and freak out rednecks so they can film it for a reality TV show. I mean, that's what we would probably do if we had space ships and a planet full of primitive aliens.
 
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