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(Jacksonville.com)   Man sneaks sub machine gun into movie theater   (jacksonville.com) divider line 120
    More: Florida, St. Johns County, sandwiches  
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11114 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2012 at 6:46 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



120 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-27 04:26:16 PM  
One eyewitness described the scene, saying, "there were onions, pickles everywhere! I honestly feared for my diet."
 
2012-12-27 04:28:26 PM  
People really need to calm the fark down.
 
2012-12-27 04:32:23 PM  
Cop 1: Jesus Christ! What gun? He's got a farking hero sandwich here.

Cop 2: What do you want? It's pitch black. It's tinfoil. It looked like a gun!

Cop 1: You moron! I'll be doing paperwork for two months because of you and this piece of shiat, you farkin' jerk-off.

/Best movie ever.
 
2012-12-27 04:40:32 PM  
This wouldn't happen if we had armed deli workers in every theater
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-12-27 04:44:09 PM  
It was St Johns county. I'm would expect them to be more excited over a sandwich than a gun.
 
2012-12-27 05:20:19 PM  
Luckily no one was clubbed to death.
 
2012-12-27 05:25:31 PM  
farm9.staticflickr.com

/obscure?
 
2012-12-27 05:33:51 PM  
Really? Sneaking a sandwich into a theater? How cheap can you get? Must've been a po' boy.
 
2012-12-27 06:02:44 PM  
Post-Newton ParanoiaTM continues....
 
2012-12-27 06:11:05 PM  
If only the other patrons in the theater had been packing sandwiches.
 
2012-12-27 06:34:05 PM  

farkingismybusiness: Luckily no one was clubbed to death.


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-27 06:48:01 PM  
Welcome to America, land of the paranoid
 
2012-12-27 06:50:00 PM  
Ban them, ban them all.
 
2012-12-27 06:50:44 PM  
He's a hero. A real grinder.
 
2012-12-27 06:50:50 PM  
Was it the $2 meatball?
 
2012-12-27 06:51:51 PM  

Theaetetus: One eyewitness described the scene, saying, "there were onions, pickles everywhere! I honestly feared for my diet."


Done in one
 
2012-12-27 06:52:20 PM  
Tell me the elitists aren't giggling as they plan the culling
 
2012-12-27 06:53:05 PM  

fusillade762: If only the other patrons in the theater had been packing sandwiches.


No, only Senator Feinstein should be allowed to carray a sandwich.
 
2012-12-27 06:53:20 PM  
Was it an assault sandwich?
 
2012-12-27 06:53:27 PM  
Gods help anyone carrying an umbrella.
 
2012-12-27 06:54:12 PM  
5...
5 Dollar...
5 Dollar Submachine Gun!
 
2012-12-27 06:54:28 PM  
My ex/gf and I use to sneak a bottle of wine into the movies.  We'd just drink it right out of the bottle.  I always got looks, and just looked back as if, I'm not bothering you, shrug*.  Just thinking of what someone might think the way the bottle looks in the dark, or shines off the light from the screen...yeah, I won't be doing that anymore.
 
2012-12-27 06:54:44 PM  
Look you don't really need a sandwich. If you want a sandwich you should join the military or police force.
 
2012-12-27 06:55:36 PM  

calbert: [farm9.staticflickr.com image 722x295]

/obscure?


I was going to post that also. Good scene!
------------------------------------------------------
If God did not want you to sneak food into the movies, He wouldn't have created backpacks.

Went to a matinee show one time, and the medium Pepsi and medium popcorn costs more than the ticket. Now I just get my popcorn and drinks from outside the theater. It costs too much to buy it inside.
 
2012-12-27 06:55:40 PM  
So, was he arrested on Felony "Not Buying $20 Popcorn"?
 
2012-12-27 06:58:21 PM  
America: land of the regulated, home of the pants-wetting cowards.
 
2012-12-27 06:59:51 PM  

duffblue: People really need to calm the fark down.


And sacrifice all the momentum that the Dems have for their pro-paperwork agenda? Are you daft? We must keep the hysteria on full panic mode or people will figure out nothing being propose by the Dems will stop a nose bleed, let alone someone from stealing weapons from their rightful owner and going off to do another mass killing.
 
2012-12-27 07:00:14 PM  
Should have used the Hero tag.
 
2012-12-27 07:01:22 PM  
The proliferation of firearms, frequent murders and people's understandably paranoid responses really contribute to the feeling of a free society. I for one just won't feel truly free until a freaked out cop pulls a piece on someone next to me and empties the entire premises because the guy had lunch with him.
 
2012-12-27 07:02:39 PM  
Sucks to have said this was going to happen.

Gyro!
 
2012-12-27 07:03:04 PM  
For a second I read "man sneaks sub sandwich into movie theatre", then I read Florida tag, then reread the headline

/Americans, is it lack of a penis in men or are you that afraid of going out in public that you have this much out a hard on for guns
//as a Canadian who owns guns and swords and other random weapons, but can go out without needing any of them and still feel safe, answer me farkers
 
2012-12-27 07:06:42 PM  

No Time To Explain: For a second I read "man sneaks sub sandwich into movie theatre", then I read Florida tag, then reread the headline

/Americans, is it lack of a penis in men or are you that afraid of going out in public that you have this much out a hard on for guns
//as a Canadian who owns guns and swords and other random weapons, but can go out without needing any of them and still feel safe, answer me farkers


Forgot to add, was there a salt with a deadly sammich charge?
 
2012-12-27 07:07:37 PM  

Elzar: farkingismybusiness: Luckily no one was clubbed to death.

[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x500]


Ha! I get that reference!
 
2012-12-27 07:09:28 PM  
This totally proves that any mention of gun control on any level ever is mere paranoia and that we actually need armed ushers in every theater and less regulation of our militias.
 
2012-12-27 07:10:06 PM  

DoctorOfLove: Was it an assault sandwich?


Attack sub
 
2012-12-27 07:10:30 PM  

Brick-House: 5...
5 Dollar...
5 Dollar Submachine Gun!


I was going to attempt a Quizznos reference but you nailed it. Nothing's going to be as funny as Gutway.
 
2012-12-27 07:14:41 PM  

No Time To Explain: //as a Canadian who owns guns and swords and other random weapons, but can go out without needing any of them and still feel safe,


I have a concealed carry permit and I rarely feel the need to carry in around my home town (a small exurban city). The only places I ever feel a need to carry are places where I'm not allowed to - EG Baltimore and DC.
 
2012-12-27 07:16:19 PM  
"Eat fresh, ya filthy animals."
 
2012-12-27 07:19:46 PM  
poor guy had to be panicking when the cops descended on him --- for a sandwich.
 
ows
2012-12-27 07:22:19 PM  
used to sneek beers into theaters back in the days. good times.
 
2012-12-27 07:25:16 PM  
When will you sandwich nuts get over yourselves and come to the reality that nobody needs multiple meats on a sandwich? Are you people so insecure that you have to compensate with condiments and extravagant cheeses? And just what business do people other than bakers have getting their hands on multi-grain? Sandwiches were made for one thing only: to efficiently fill. Period. You people disgust me.
 
2012-12-27 07:26:22 PM  
i carry guns into theatres all the time. many of my social circle do as well. never an incident. of course, i live in a state that doesnt undergo menstruation induced panics as a result of its collective castration.
 
2012-12-27 07:29:13 PM  
Just the beginning my friends.
This is going to take a while to run down.
BTW, I have noticed a similarity between the "I can see that is an assault weapon, just look!" and the "I can see that mountain is so beautiful, God must have made it" chanters.
 
2012-12-27 07:29:15 PM  

No Time To Explain: For a second I read "man sneaks sub sandwich into movie theatre", then I read Florida tag, then reread the headline

/Americans, is it lack of a penis in men or are you that afraid of going out in public that you have this much out a hard on for guns
//as a Canadian who owns guns and swords and other random weapons, but can go out without needing any of them and still feel safe, answer me farkers


I think that's more of a regional thing. Living in the Pacific Northwest, I don't feel the need to "pack heat" everywhere I go...

/ people in Texas or Florida may feel differently....
 
2012-12-27 07:32:14 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: DoctorOfLove: Was it an assault sandwich?

Attack sub


/chuckle
 
2012-12-27 07:33:16 PM  
At first I was like *gasp* someone who went through the NFA process farked up?! Then I read the article and laughed. Great headline subby, masterfully trolled.
 
2012-12-27 07:33:56 PM  

calbert: [farm9.staticflickr.com image 722x295]

/obscure?


The_Sponge: Cop 1: Jesus Christ! What gun? He's got a farking hero sandwich here.

Cop 2: What do you want? It's pitch black. It's tinfoil. It looked like a gun!

Cop 1: You moron! I'll be doing paperwork for two months because of you and this piece of shiat, you farkin' jerk-off.

/Best movie ever.


Apparently not.

/also the first thing I thought of.
 
2012-12-27 07:36:42 PM  
Food gets mistaken for other things all the time.

img525.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-27 07:37:21 PM  
No... I didn't say that it had hollowpoints. I said that it had jalapenos.
 
2012-12-27 07:40:21 PM  

No Time To Explain: For a second I read "man sneaks sub sandwich into movie theatre", then I read Florida tag, then reread the headline

/Americans, is it lack of a penis in men or are you that afraid of going out in public that you have this much out a hard on for guns
//as a Canadian who owns guns and swords and other random weapons, but can go out without needing any of them and still feel safe, answer me farkers


Well.. obviously the requirement in Canada that criminals be bilingual has brought crime to its knees.
 
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