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(NCBuy)   Many people prefer to spend the holidays solo, but other folks won't leave them alone   (ncbuy.com) divider line 158
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7362 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2003 at 4:00 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2003-12-10 09:35:56 AM  
Everybody knows that loners are psychotic / depressed / dangerous / less likely to give good Christmas presents.
 
2003-12-10 09:58:31 AM  
I feel better now about being your quiet neighbor who never bothers anybody, and keeps to myself.
 
2003-12-10 10:06:43 AM  
If people would stop inviting me to Christmas parties, I could finish my manifesto sooner and finish moving into my bomb shelter.
 
2003-12-10 10:47:29 AM  
I would. I need to catch up on some farking sleep. I'm only sick now because the family kept me up late and woke me up early during Thanksgiving vacation. Thanks guys.
 
2003-12-10 10:56:26 AM  
This year my family is going out of town so we don't have to do any of that cheesy crap they do.
 
2003-12-10 11:28:30 AM  
He is right though, the beaches aren't crowded on Christmas and New Years day.

/MN resident
 
2003-12-10 11:48:06 AM  
well I'm one of those people. And it's almost impossible to actually get to spend time alone.

Yes I really do like being alone. No I do not get lonely. Leave me alone already!
 
2003-12-10 02:55:58 PM  
I fit squarely in that category somewhere. I get lonely but my hate for most people keeps me from mingling.
 
2003-12-10 04:06:28 PM  
Whoever wrote this article obviously has not been to the movies in the Atlanta area on Christmas Day. What a freakin' zoo.

I'm on the fence about whether or not I want to be alone on the holiday. None of my family lives in the area, but I have lots of friends that I can "mooch" off of and would welcome me with open arms. The only problem is my sister... Granted she's in Atlanta and I'm in Connecticut, but if she knew that I stayed home alone on Xmas, she would have a bird. I could lie all I want, but she's evil (LOL) and can figure out when I'm lying!
 
2003-12-10 04:06:48 PM  
Rosalea why are you so lonely?

/furtively dials suicide hotline
 
2003-12-10 04:08:16 PM  
Finally, somebody understands me. Too bad it's just some Fark headline.
 
2003-12-10 04:08:37 PM  
So many people are shocked when I say I am staying home by myself this year, but I am looking forward to too much alcohol, 24-hours of "A Christmas Story" and the joy of knowing I will likely not get the flu this year.
 
2003-12-10 04:11:25 PM  
yes, to be alone on Christmas. Just once would be great.
 
2003-12-10 04:12:05 PM  
they can tell white lies like "sorry, I have other plans,"

Um, if you're an adult and don't know to use this as a first line of defense, you deserve to be alone during the holidays.

Now, someone write an article about how to dodge the parents that hit up the childless people to buy "holiday" crap for their kids' school.
 
2003-12-10 04:12:07 PM  
I've taken to lying to people about my plans so they stop asking "are you SURE you don't want to spend all morning with me, my husband, and our four shrieking, hyperactive kids, when you could be home sleeping or out for a long snowy trail run?"

Well, they don't say it exactly like that, but that's what they mean.

Everybody knows that loners are psychotic / depressed / dangerous / less likely to give good Christmas presents.

Hey, I give *great* presents.
 
2003-12-10 04:12:52 PM  
"If I wanted a family of my own, I'd had one. I like being alone with me, that's why I took this job. I like me more than anybody else I know, that's how I know that people are so miserable!"

[/Shanghi McCoy in Rooster Cogburn]
 
2003-12-10 04:14:29 PM  
I'll be spending the holidays by myself, otherwise some people in black helicopters might come to get me ...

-grabs tinfoil hat and old issue of Soldier of Fortune
 
2003-12-10 04:14:51 PM  
George Thoroughgood is singing somewhere..."I drink alone"
 
2003-12-10 04:14:51 PM  
I'm going to India this weekend. Is it possible to be alone in a country that packs one billion people into an area the size of Alaska?
 
2003-12-10 04:16:04 PM  
Is it just me or is today's Bullz-Eye chick just really, really, really, really incredibly hot?

I mean in the "How much? Oh, that much? Let me talk to my loan officer" kind of way.
 
2003-12-10 04:16:21 PM  

Now, someone write an article about how to dodge the parents that hit up the childless people to buy "holiday" crap for their kids' school.


I refuse to buy any of that crap, even from friends. Once the rest of the parents find out you bought something from one of them, your screwed.
 
2003-12-10 04:16:27 PM  
Maybe next year I'll be able to shake the mandatory plane flight home to hang with the family for Christmas.

At least I've made the ground rule that I get back out here for New Years. No way I'm missing those parties to watch Twilight Zone reruns with the folks.
 
2003-12-10 04:16:49 PM  
Rosalea
"Yes I really do like being alone. No I do not get lonely. Leave me alone already!"


Rosie come out tonight, Rosie come out tonight;
Windows are for cheaters, chimneys for the poor,
Closets are for hangers winners use the door !
Rosalea jump a little lighter,
Senorita come sit by the fire !

 
2003-12-10 04:16:54 PM  
This is sorta related:
My uncle and his fat hoss of a wife are so poor that about four or five years ago they gave me two painted rocks for Christmas. ROCKS! Then, the next year, my uncle gave me a 79-cent 3-RING BINDER from OFFICE MAX! Bastard.

Jeez, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but, uh, whattamy gonna do with two ROCKS and a BINDER (of which I already have about 50)!?
 
2003-12-10 04:17:25 PM  
Now, someone write an article about how to dodge the parents that hit up the childless people to buy "holiday" crap for their kids' school.

Better yet, write up an article about how to resolve the married man's "In laws or blood relatives" Christmas Day dilema. *sigh*
 
2003-12-10 04:17:29 PM  
The holidays sound like a good time to spend time with one's true buddies -- Heckler, Koch, and crystal meth.
/not really psycho, armed or meth-using
 
2003-12-10 04:17:54 PM  
use the binder to hit the rocks in the general direction of hobos.
 
2003-12-10 04:20:02 PM  
DoctorZeus
Better yet, write up an article about how to resolve the married man's "In laws or blood relatives" Christmas Day dilema. *sigh*

It was really quick, so I can understand why you didn't notice, but when you gave the ring/vows, your penis fell off.

Sorry
 
2003-12-10 04:20:40 PM  
I am going to hell because I once spent thanksgiving at school to study for finals. When Mom asked me what I was having, I said "a frozen pizza."

Damned near killed her from the shock.
 
SU
2003-12-10 04:21:02 PM  
finally.

why can't people understand it is perfectly normal to want to be alone on holidays and I am perfectly happy spending my time finishing the wax sculpture of Christopher Walken.
 
2003-12-10 04:21:33 PM  
I like it when my family and friends gather someplace, then I can rob their homes.
 
2003-12-10 04:22:02 PM  
Doonyman, you shouldn't have been bad that year.
 
2003-12-10 04:22:29 PM  
It could be worse. You could be the father of a two year child who has apathetic grandparents that want little to nothing to do with them and only call a couple times of year and want to get togther and pretend to be a normal family for the holidays. (Pause for breath)

/spending Christmas alone with wife and child and hatred of farking parents, contemplating when to tell said child that my parents are dead.
 
2003-12-10 04:23:56 PM  
SU

Wax. pffft. I'm using bacon fat. My Walken sculpture will be cool and DELICIOUS!!!
 
2003-12-10 04:24:02 PM  
He is right though, the beaches aren't crowded on Christmas and New Years day.

They are here.

/L.A. resident
 
2003-12-10 04:24:03 PM  
The first time I had sex boy was I afraid,
I was all by myself.
 
2003-12-10 04:24:28 PM  
Blood should always take precedence over in-laws. Assuming you like your own family. I made that mistake one time, felt like crap hanging out with the live-in fiancee's family instead of my own. Never again. I actually like my family.
 
2003-12-10 04:25:17 PM  
They only think they want to be alone!

Really they want to be surrounded by hundreds of strangers joining hands singing "Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer" whilst exposing their nipples to one another!
 
2003-12-10 04:25:53 PM  
doccm9
This Christmas, I'm considering sending my uncle one of the following:

-2 pennies
-a licked stamp
-three hairs
-a car air fresh'ner
-some air
 
2003-12-10 04:27:14 PM  
I've done New Years Eve alone for the last couple of years... I make myself a really nice dinner, buy some shrimp and champagne for midnight and just hang out. I think it's pretty damned awesome! Society puts so much pressure on people to have awesome plans for New Years. Being single doesn't help much either - it's such a couples holiday.

At least I can say that I got to hear Marilyn Manson drop the "f" bomb on MTV while doing a cover of Cheap Trick's Surrender (I don't remember which New Year's). If I already hadn't been sitting on the floor, that's where I would have ended up 'cuz it startled me so.
 
2003-12-10 04:27:43 PM  
Keep one of the rocks in the binder for easy access during emergencies, and use the other rock as a paper weight for the binder, so you can rest safe knowing where the rock is, in case Goliath attacks during the night.

Seriously. DUH.
 
2003-12-10 04:28:32 PM  
Doonyman

What do you get for the father who 'forgot' you on Christmas and only managed to come up with little airline liquor botles of bad scotch?
 
2003-12-10 04:28:50 PM  
If no-one goes to the movies on Christmas, how come great movies open on Christmas day every year?
 
2003-12-10 04:29:14 PM  
My ideal Xmas? Sitting home, alone, in the dark, in front of my computer with Xmas tunes playing on Winamp.
Merry f'ing xmas!
 
2003-12-10 04:31:03 PM  
boyfriend and i each lied to our respective families this year, i said we were going to his family, he told them he was visiting ours. our plans? hanging out alone all day watching tv. doesn't get better than that, plus some farking. xmas farking.

\hates crowds
 
2003-12-10 04:31:38 PM  
wh0mprat
Hmm...you could try:
-a corpustle
-little airline liquor bottles of bad pee

Got nothin'. :)
/no idea what a corpustle is, but it sounds cool
 
2003-12-10 04:31:42 PM  
Canadian_Dave
The first time I had sex boy was I afraid,

Of course my twisted mind read "with a" in this sentence
 
2003-12-10 04:32:02 PM  
New Year's Eve is a bogus holiday.

It's the one night that regular people can act like assholes, while all of us that are REAL assholes, and deeply committed to asshole-dom, have been at it all year.
 
2003-12-10 04:32:09 PM  
I would like to be alone more, but if you stay secluded all the time, no one will know you're there. And if they don't know you're there, they can't describe you as "A quiet guy, liked to keep to himself". They'll just say, "Somebody lived in that house?"

It's a matter of priorities. Do you want seclusion or a proper reputation?
 
2003-12-10 04:32:51 PM  
i wish people at work would leave me alone.
 
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