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(Curbed)   The most gloriously hideous real estate listings of 2012, including our grand prize winner from Sulphur, Louisiana. And that's quite a prize in a field with entrants from LA, Miami Beach--and the faux chateau island retreat designed by Celine Dion   (curbed.com) divider line 28
    More: Scary, Los Angeles, chateau, private island, prizes  
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32089 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2012 at 8:25 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-27 08:45:42 PM  
5 votes:
cdn.cstatic.net

It's creepy and it's kookie,
Mysterious and spooky,
All together ookie,
It's Celine Dion's house.

*snap* *snap*
2012-12-27 10:36:20 PM  
4 votes:
Darth_LukecashPeople haven't realized that a tool is only as good as it's user.

Like the apostrophe.
2012-12-27 08:53:26 PM  
4 votes:
I'm pretty sure I've seen pornos shot at most of these locations.
2012-12-27 09:41:30 PM  
3 votes:
THIS is EXACTLY why TAXES need to be RAISED on the RICH... and significantly!

IF and WHEN they spend their money they cannot be trusted with their decisions!
2012-12-27 09:05:18 PM  
3 votes:

Ima4nic8or: Most of them look quite nice.


Let's go down the list, shall we?
Lead picture (unidentified) looks like a Guido casino.
You'll probably find frozen corpses next to the South African frozen half losbster tails in the freezer.
And nothing says Tacky Shiat like South African frozen half losbster tails in the freezer.
OK?
#2, the Miami Beach, $35M, is a pretentious, piece of shait that would be used in the "Layer Cake" as a country club, Fortunately, the producers of that movie knew what a budget was.
Chateau d'Or, Los Angeles, $25M comes in next, looking like a Dago whore house designed by Scarface.
#3: Destin, Fla., $2.295M. Don't get me started on the cheesy attempt at upholstery or the fact that the fireplace doesn't even have a wood box or wood rack near it. I'm not even clicking on the time wasting little jpegs here. No need to waste my life when people who have more money than they have taste buy crap like this. And time, is, money.
Fort Lauderdale, Fla. comes in at #4 as Scarface's second home. The one he reserved for his Shiksa whore mistress. Piece of crap should be used as a hotel for people who want to treat the mistress to a "Romantic" get away while the wife thinks he's out on a "business trip"
Bleah.
Carmel, Ind., $5.5M is boozer Barbie, covered that one already.
#6: Oh, great. I got loaded and won big at the craps table and told the cabbie to I-Phone the nicest place in town and put me up. Slipped him a C-Note, and woke up...
UNDERWATER! GAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhh.
Who puked the wallpaper?
Trompe-l'œil, my ass. It's like waking up in a farking fish bowl!!!
/better be a long assed snorkel under my pillow.

Still with me here?
Houson,(sic) Texas, $499K, logs in at #7, looking like everyone who ever married a Bush left a snail trail on the toilet seat and every one who was a Bush peed in the shower.
#8: Brooklyn, N.Y., $14M. I can't imagine having money and wanting to live in farking Brooklyn, but I like this one. I like it for a BDSM porno shoot.
#9 is Indianapolis, Ind., $980K. Miss Indiana apparently married and old geezer who thought she needed a cheesy palace to go with her cheesy tiara. Christ on crutches, How about a security system for the garage? Don't leave the Bentley out in the Indiana winter with a 40' Roof over it.
#10: *clears throat* Sulphur, La., $5.2M. O.K, Now. Liberace just called from beyond th grave to say, "Too Gay". This will be reposted on a famous Star Trek actor's timeline on Facebook in a few days, I'm sure.

And now that I' at the end of the list, it's apparent that despite the mispellings, the author of the article has no idea how to write, because all the descriptions are below the titles.

Fark it all and you have no taste.

I say good day, Madman.
GOOD DAY!
2012-12-27 06:23:25 PM  
3 votes:
cdn.cstatic.net

This one looks like a child's playroom. If your child drank a lot, that is.
2012-12-28 09:58:39 AM  
2 votes:
cdn.cstatic.net

Once you are seated Dovahkhiin, we can begin the negotiations.
2012-12-28 01:07:30 AM  
2 votes:

moonscatter: Swamplot.com does "bad listing photos" almost every day and some of them are pretty hysterical:

[swamplot.com image 400x266]

[swamplot.com image 400x300]

Just as a few examples...



Is... is there a shiny torso hovering over those cribs? Wh-why is there a shiny torso hovering over those cribs? Make it go away.

So very confused...
2012-12-27 11:02:19 PM  
2 votes:
cdn.cstatic.net

The last time I was in a room like this, a row of ladies stood there waiting for me to pick one out.

/Oh yeah. As if YOU wouldn't go to such a place.
2012-12-27 10:39:00 PM  
2 votes:
Huh. I thought this is what Celine Dion's house looked like:

i860.photobucket.com
I must have been wrong.
2012-12-27 10:24:51 PM  
2 votes:
Lots of purple in these photos, is the sister from Breaking Bad an interior decorator now?
2012-12-27 08:37:41 PM  
2 votes:

fusillade762: [cdn.cstatic.net image 500x333]

This one looks like a child's playroom. If your child drank a lot, that is.


The Boozer Barbie playset.
I always wanted one.
2012-12-27 04:40:53 PM  
2 votes:
I can excuse Houston in that it looks like it hasn't been updated since the 1970s - yes, metallic wallpaper was hot in the 70s.  I had a friend whose home was unchanged like that after his mother died.

The rest seem to be people who didn't get that the director's choice of decor in "Scarface" wasn't meant to be complimentary.
2012-12-28 03:05:54 AM  
1 votes:
If you want to see the most hilariously kitchy-bordering-on-grotesque thing Celine Dion has ever (to my knowledge) been involved in making (yes, aside from her music) check out this book. (NSFW in a "It's not porn, but you coworkers could still be creeped-out if they glance over your shoulder" way.) A collision of kitsch -- Dion with photographer Anne Geddes -- resulted in some rather "WTF"-worthy images.
2012-12-28 12:01:37 AM  
1 votes:

buntz: dumbobruni: seconded, although I can't figure out the exposed bathtub on the stair landing.
You pompous ass! Like you never were walking downstairs and thought to yourself "You know? I don't feel as fresh as I should"
It's people like you.........


Pshh. That's just tacky and show-offy. All my friends get by with just a bidet and a heated towel rack on the landing.
2012-12-27 11:55:03 PM  
1 votes:
In the LA area, I see a lot of rental listings placed by landlords who probably speak English as a second language and obviously don't have anyone proofread the ads. It's not unusual to see people who boast a "quite neighborhood," "stainless steal appliances," or "specious" apartments or condos. The latter would almost make sense in the case of the linked photos.
2012-12-27 11:40:13 PM  
1 votes:
That one in Miami looked like the shootout scene in Scarface.

www.themost10.com
2012-12-27 11:34:38 PM  
1 votes:
Most Farkers apparently fail to understand that super rich people can decorate in the newest, ridiculous and quickly fading trends because they can just redecorate or move in 6 months when purple and chrome goes out of style.
2012-12-27 11:04:23 PM  
1 votes:

TV's Vinnie: [cdn.cstatic.net image 640x480]

The last time I was in a room like this, a row of ladies stood there waiting for me to pick one out.



Mom?
2012-12-27 10:27:38 PM  
1 votes:

gerbilpox: [img685.imageshack.us image 634x416]
[img826.imageshack.us image 149x172]
This is a lovely room of death.


A bunch of that has to be fake. Proudly-displayed elephant tusks? I think not. The fluorescent lighting is a nice touch, to give the room that discount showroom feel.
2012-12-27 09:59:58 PM  
1 votes:

dumbobruni: seconded, although I can't figure out the exposed bathtub on the stair landing.


You pompous ass! Like you never were walking downstairs and thought to yourself "You know? I don't feel as fresh as I should"

It's people like you.........
kth
2012-12-27 09:28:58 PM  
1 votes:
Wait, doesn't everyone keep their battle axe and mace above the urinals?
2012-12-27 09:18:51 PM  
1 votes:
img685.imageshack.us
img826.imageshack.us
This is a lovely room of death.
2012-12-27 09:05:36 PM  
1 votes:
So Prince used to have a house in Carmel, Indiana?
2012-12-27 08:58:11 PM  
1 votes:

BadReligion: That huge mansion in Houston is only $499,000.00? Seems like a bargain unless there are very serious issues.


The only very serious issue I can think of is that you're living in Houston.
2012-12-27 08:56:40 PM  
1 votes:

ProfessorOhki: WhyteRaven74: fusillade762: This one looks like a child's playroom. If your child drank a lot, that is.

In other words, the perfect place for Farkers to hang out

Compared to all the other "make my house look like a set from a Victorian period piece" houses listed, that one is great. No chandeliers or grand piano, just good straight up, "you know what? I want a bar that looks like a space station as envisioned in the 1950s and I can."

The mirror on the ceiling over the bed the other hand.... c'mon now, that's just tacky.


Pfft.. you never comb hair in bed?
2012-12-27 08:35:19 PM  
1 votes:
Money can't buy happiness. Nor taste, it would seem.
2012-12-27 07:35:59 PM  
1 votes:

fusillade762: This one looks like a child's playroom. If your child drank a lot, that is.


In other words, the perfect place for Farkers to hang out
 
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