I feel like I need to

*remnant from an e-mail that somehow got pasted in the above comment before it saved

Clemson University student Nathan Weaver just wanted to put together a project to help figure out the best way to assist turtles in crossing the road....

Are you sure his name wasn't Nathan Weaver95?

/hehe

Buttbone McGillicutty: Greek: I wasn't exactly sure at the time how to deal with a snapper, but a truck driver stopped, got out of his truck, walked over, and said that you just grab their tail and drag them- they can't reach back there. He then proceeded to drag the turtle the rest of the way across the road, and over to the pond it was apparently heading for.

You can grab them by the sides of the shell (well away from the mouth) but you have to hang on tight because they will take a snap at you. That being said, I like the trucker's idea of grabbing them by the tail better.

one hand on the shell behind the head, one hand on the shell above the tail.  lift.

I'm guessing most of the people who'd do this are either women or guys with beards. No one who looks at themselves in the mirror every day could be this much of a jerk.

ZAZ:
And I already knew this. Should have put a nail in the turtle.

That was my thought. Would love to see the reactions of the assholes that were trying to run over a turtle and suddenly found their tires shredded instead.

There's a thought. TZAZ: Worked fine for me. It's on the wire so searching clemson+turtle will find you other copies.

And I already knew this. Should have put a nail in the turtle.

Genius. Turtle landmines. Stryrofoam turtles with nails hidden in them to shred tires.

pxlboy: SomeoneDumb: I'm guessing most of the people who'd do this are either women or guys with beards. No one who looks at themselves in the mirror every day could be this much of a jerk.

I have a beard and I move turtles and slow down for animals. Don't be hatin' on the beard, yo.

Oh I'm not. Beards don't cause turtle deaths, they just result from them because no one doing it should be able to look themselves in the face.

/Have had beards myself
//Also, have had turtles

"I realize now why the universe, as the astronomers have discovered, is receding from us at all directions at near the speed of light. Why? Red shift? No! Because of fear that's why. We are the plague of the cosmos. The stars are not merely flying away, they are fleeing away, tripping away on little starfeet at a hundred and eighty thousand miles per second, running for their lives."
-Edward Abbey

shootsright: "I realize now why the universe, as the astronomers have discovered, is receding from us at all directions at near the speed of light. Why? Red shift? No! Because of fear that's why. We are the plague of the cosmos. The stars are not merely flying away, they are fleeing away, tripping away on little starfeet at a hundred and eighty thousand miles per second, running for their lives."
-Edward Abbey

I suspect we are the arkansas of the universe, or at least the galaxy, and there have been no UFOs or alien visitors because why would they come here?

I had a turtle once with a smashed front foot and a partly smashed shell. He got around pretty well anyway. But when I turned him loose, I made sure that it was FAR from a road.

I've stopped and moved turtles out of the road as long as it is safe to do so. I've seen a medium sized water turtle (probably a red-eared slider) crossing two lanes of an interstate one day; on the return trip back that afternoon I didn't see him smashed so I hope he made it across. I've also stopped to help a big, crabby snapping turtle get across a road. Rather than picking him up (and losing a few fingers), I just prodded him on across with a stick.

Seems like some sort of turtle-shaped mines might be in order. Once the news spreads--problem solved.Well, assuming the people who run over turtles actually watch or read news, that is. I suspect you might have to put one on the road to Springer's or Povich's houses before the turtle murdering crowd takes notice. (But then you get the added bonus of possibly taking out two birds with one stone.)

Hey, Maudlin - thanx for the TF.

You'll like this Link

Sinisism: This is why you can't have nice things.

Nice things like turtles on the highway? O_o

Wanted for questioning...

Ha! Jokes on them! These ignorant,sadistic assholes dont know that the universe, as we know it, rests on top of turtles. It's nothing but turtles all the down YOU FOOLS!

Trolling...

OK, sure.

Like I'm the only one on here who's ever killed a critter for the farking hell of it.

Liars.

I know you are.

snocone: TheOther: I have stopped and moved migrating turtles out of the road in the direction they were going. I have seen the same damn turtle crawl back into the road, going in the opposite direction. Hormone-crazed turtles baffle me, so I try not to interfere, now.

/the horny tarantula migrations are more fun

Dookin' for dove.Wookin' Pa Nub FTFY

SNL
/unless I'm just an old fart and Dooken for dove is a new thing

Rawhead Rex: Like I'm the only one on here who's ever killed a critter for the farking hell of it.

Probably not. That doesn't make it normal nor does it imply any significant intelligence. It sounds a lot like; "Like I'm the only one that beats their wife for no reason. Lots of guys beat their wives."

Rawhead Rex: Trolling...

OK, sure.

Like I'm the only one on here who's ever killed a critter for the farking hell of it.

Liars.

I know you are.

I've killed a fish. But it was because I was fishing. I ate it though and it was delicious.
Other than that, I've never killed anything "for the farking hell of it". Cause I'm not an asshole.

Absolutely nothing about this story surprises me. Maybe next time, just do a survey if you don't already know.

From the article: "Weaver could get into the road to get the model, another car moved to the right to hit the animal as he stood less than 20 feet away."

This happened when I was trying to rescue a turtle. I was 15 feet away. Gruesome. Farking driver.

adammpower: hopefully these people are later hit by cars and have just enough time to think about it before impact.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

fk these assholes

Rawhead Rex: Trolling...

OK, sure.

Like I'm the only one on here who's ever killed a critter for the farking hell of it.

Liars.

I know you are.

You sound like a trophy hunter.

Trophy hunters are assholes.

Not as much ass holes as the people killing innocent turtles in this story, but still.

doglover: Then I turn around not a week latter and watch a Japanese suzumebachi ( lit sparrow wasp, 6" long) eat the babies out of a normal sized wasp nest and think it's hilarious.

There's a big difference between running over a turtle just for the LULZ, and watching a predator do what it evolved to do - chow down on lesser species. Stopping and grabbing the turtle so you can make turtle soup for dinner is somewhere in between.

I always rooted for the cheetah/lion on nature shows. Big cats are cool. Ruminants are meals on hooves.

mrlewish: Time to put down a rubber turtle with road spikes.

So much this. People who run over animals deliberately aren't actually people, but pieces of shiat, and they need to be splattered on the road before they hurt anything else.

A few months ago I was on a two lane highway in Alexandria, VA, when I came up on a line of geese crossing the 40 mph street. I stopped for the geese and the guy behind me is laying on the horn and making angry gestures. I point to the geese and he guns it, goes around me with his middle finger up and runs over two geese. Joke was on him, my brother was my passenger, he's a cop and we were in Alexandria. My brother called a fellow officer and we followed to watch the on duty cop pull the guy over. He now has a court date, and if you know anything about Virginia traffic laws then you know it won't be pretty.

Growing up I have vivid memories of my father pulling off the road in Kansas and moving turtles off the road to the grass. Rescuing turtles was just something he always did.

/he drew the line at a 40 pound snapping turtle
//and called the zoo about it

Buttbone McGillicutty: Greek: I wasn't exactly sure at the time how to deal with a snapper, but a truck driver stopped, got out of his truck, walked over, and said that you just grab their tail and drag them- they can't reach back there. He then proceeded to drag the turtle the rest of the way across the road, and over to the pond it was apparently heading for.

You can grab them by the sides of the shell (well away from the mouth) but you have to hang on tight because they will take a snap at you. That being said, I like the trucker's idea of grabbing them by the tail better.

I haven't had the opportunity to rescue a turtle from the road, but my dad has. He uses the tail method. The turtles I've seen him rescue were big enough to do damage, but small enough to gently toss into the roadside vegetation. Which seems like rough handling, but it's better than they'd get on the road. They're tough animals.

Tail method. Definitely.

As a Clemson alum I am getting a kick....oh fark it, I going to the Taproom................

I paint little animals on my fender when I run over them. Like a fighter pilot. If I hit a bunny, I paint a little bunny on the car. I have a snake, three squirrels a bunny and a cat.

I *ALMOST* hit my boss once when he waddled out into traffic without looking. That woulda been a fun one to paint, but Id need more paint.

Doink_Boink: A few months ago I was on a two lane highway in Alexandria, VA, when I came up on a line of geese crossing the 40 mph street. I stopped for the geese and the guy behind me is laying on the horn and making angry gestures. I point to the geese and he guns it, goes around me with his middle finger up and runs over two geese. Joke was on him, my brother was my passenger, he's a cop and we were in Alexandria. My brother called a fellow officer and we followed to watch the on duty cop pull the guy over. He now has a court date, and if you know anything about Virginia traffic laws then you know it won't be pretty.

what did the on duty cop ticket him for, exactly?

ExperianScaresCthulhu: what did the on duty cop ticket him for, exactly?

One would guess cruelty to animals, reckless driving, traffic control signals, disorderly conduct, criminal mischief, failure to yield and so on. I got caught with 2 joint roaches in my car ashtray when I was 19, somehow that got me 10 or 12 charges. All were dropped once I plead to DUI even though I was 0.0 at the time. When they want to they can get you for tons of shiat even if you did just one thing wrong, throw everything at them and see what sticks.

Quick CSB- I have a friend who was once charged with "possession with intent to distribute but not sell" when they found a gram of pot on him. It was assumed he was going to smoke it with the other two people he was with......bull-motherfarking-shiat if you ask me.

Greek: I wasn't exactly sure at the time how to deal with a snapper, but a truck driver stopped, got out of his truck, walked over, and said that you just grab their tail and drag them- they can't reach back there.

Good tip.

I pulled out a real estate sign and just sorta shoveled a big snapper across the road.

By the way, it didn't look exactly like a snapper or an alligator snapper. Do they hybridize?

/yes, I put the sign back too.

Fano: Avery614: ExperianScaresCthulhu: what did the on duty cop ticket him for, exactly?

One would guess cruelty to animals, reckless driving, traffic control signals, disorderly conduct, criminal mischief, failure to yield and so on. I got caught with 2 joint roaches in my car ashtray when I was 19, somehow that got me 10 or 12 charges. All were dropped once I plead to DUI even though I was 0.0 at the time. When they want to they can get you for tons of shiat even if you did just one thing wrong, throw everything at them and see what sticks.

Quick CSB- I have a friend who was once charged with "possession with intent to distribute but not sell" when they found a gram of pot on him. It was assumed he was going to smoke it with the other two people he was with......bull-motherfarking-shiat if you ask me.

Do you know what the penalty for animal cruelty is in this state? I'm sure it's pretty stiff. Poor little guy, probably kept honking for a couple miles...

From what I can tell, in VA, they suck.....