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(Entertainment Weekly)   JJ Abrams passes on Star Wars, says he will only ruin one science fiction franchise at a time   (insidemovies.ew.com) divider line 162
    More: Followup, J.J. Abrams, Star Wars, Empire Magazine, Michael Arndt, minutiae, Matthew Vaughn, Star Trek, Showtime  
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2208 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Dec 2012 at 11:27 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-27 01:12:24 PM

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: Underwater, eh? "How many atmospheres of pressure can the ship withstand?... Well, it was built for space travel, so anywhere between zero and one."


Right ... let's design a hull that cannot handle any compression what-so-ever. It is not like it will be involved in combat or anything ... maybe we can use thin foil like the moon landers!!
 
2012-12-27 01:14:35 PM

coeyagi: I wonder how many ALTs Armond White has.

[api.ning.com image 300x279]

//This is the face of utter assholery


I really want to know what the hell happened to that man in his youth.
 
2012-12-27 01:16:30 PM

bluorangefyre: If anybody ruined Star Trek it was Rick Berman and whoever the other guy was who took over Trek after Roddenberry died.


Berman killing Star Trek did not give Abrams the right to sell the corpse into prostitution.

The issue I had with the Star Trek reboot wasn't the movie itself; it's that it was the wrong movie.  If you're going to make some generic space action flick full of usual dudebro movie pick-n'-mix characters, don't use the label of a show that made TV history for its progressive morality plays.  It's like turning Casablanca into porn.  There's nothing WRONG with porn, some of it's good even, but they change the titles from stuff like "Saving Private Ryan" to "Saving Ryan's Privates" because the porn industry has more dignity.

If Abrams used the title "Space Adventure" or something like that and merely changed the names and designs no one would've ever made a fuss about it because no one would've realized it was really supposed to be Star Trek.
 
2012-12-27 01:16:41 PM

zedster: LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.

good film? meh, it was fun but I refuse to call any film with Tyler Perry in it good

I felt it was an enjoyable action flick but failed to use any of the Star Trek moral quandaries, it just ran over itself

That being said Star Wars in the movies themselves was a space opera and not too scifi-y so it actually would be better helmed by JJ "Lens Flair" Abrams


Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.

Besides, Star Wars is terrible. Just terrible.

No, it wasn't. It was a generic space flick, entertaining for one watch through, maybe two, and then relegated to the B-movie schlock pile with the other space movies with ships that look like buildings and breweries inside. The only trappings related to anything Star Trek are purely superficial; the names, the uniforms and the ship design, but the central philosophies of the show and the heart was completely absent. It's as though someone with zero familiarity with the franchise were given the job to create a ST film and read only the IMDB synposis, looked at a handful of pictures and commenced filming without a clue.

"Oh, there was a hot green chick in the original? Throw one in there for Kirk to bone as fan service. Boobs fill seats...Give that doctor guy a catch phrase else no one will know who he's supposed to be...Wait a second, wasn't there a picture of Sulu fencing shirtless circulating around about the time George got married? Well, give him a sword, dammit! No, not that one; he's asian fercrissakes, so make it a katana. Tarantino uses katanas with asians and rakes in the bucks, so will we but make it all fold out and lens-flarey shiat 'cause this is the future and the future's too bright to see what the hell's going on anyways...No, don't do phasers like that, make it all pew-pew-pew like Star Wars. People get distracted easily by bright, colored lights and will think this film good if we have enough in there...Moral quandry? What's this BS? Get rid of it, the only quandary Pine will have is how to bang Zoe and Quinto...What? This "Kirk" guy is supposed to be captain? Screw it, we'll do that in the last scene. Who cares if it doesn't make any sense? I'm Abrams, biatch! People buy my crap and it never makes any sense!"

Ok generic space action movie, complete failure as a Star Trek movie. Shatner must feel vindicated by no longer being the worst ST director, at least he had ...


Dingleberry Dickwad: imashark: While the movies are fun, they don't really exude "Star Trek" to me. Then again, I probably would only feel that Star Trek feeling with another TV series.

I kind of agree on that one. I enjoyed the movie, and while the character names are the same it just doesn't seem quite like Trek to me, although Urban did a pretty good McCoy. Even though Scotty was somewhat comical in the originals, I think they over did it with Pegg, especially with his stupid little mascot. Uhura is ok, I just wish they would have picked a little bit thicker of a woman like the original, because goddamn was Nichelle Nichols hot back in the day. I do like that they're playing Spock a touch more human (personality wise) than TOS since it plays better with the whole half human bit that we didn't know throughout most of TOS.


mooseyfate: Wait, we're hating Abrams' Star Trek now?! Does nobody forward these memos to me? I just got done making 1000 "Set your phasers to Lens Flare" shirts with "Abrams is God" on the back. Goddamnit...


Still relevant to everyone one of these threads.
 
2012-12-27 01:17:05 PM
bestforfilm.com Or scifanatic.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com

Saved from the lens flare.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2012-12-27 01:17:06 PM
The green chick was hot.  Old and new.
 
2012-12-27 01:18:48 PM

mooseyfate: Wait, we're hating Abrams' Star Trek now?! Does nobody forward these memos to me? I just got done making 1000 "Set your phasers to Lens Flare" shirts with "Abrams is God" on the back. Goddamnit...


Are you kidding? People on Fark were hating it before it was even released! Then of course there were the numerous butthurt posts about the movie on any Trek thread immediately after the movie came out.
 
2012-12-27 01:19:47 PM

LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.


Not that good. There were plot holes big enough to drive a truck through and while I'll admit it was a fun movie, I don't consider it to be cannon.
 
2012-12-27 01:20:18 PM

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.

Besides, Star Wars is terrible. Just terrible.

No, it wasn't. It was a generic space flick, entertaining for one watch through, maybe two, and then relegated to the B-movie schlock pile with the other space movies with ships that look like buildings and breweries inside. The only trappings related to anything Star Trek are purely superficial; the names, the uniforms and the ship design, but the central philosophies of the show and the heart was completely absent. It's as though someone with zero familiarity with the franchise were given the job to create a ST film and read only the IMDB synposis, looked at a handful of pictures and commenced filming without a clue.

"Oh, there was a hot green chick in the original? Throw one in there for Kirk to bone as fan service. Boobs fill seats...Give that doctor guy a catch phrase else no one will know who he's supposed to be...Wait a second, wasn't there a picture of Sulu fencing shirtless circulating around about the time George got married? Well, give him a sword, dammit! No, not that one; he's asian fercrissakes, so make it a katana. Tarantino uses katanas with asians and rakes in the bucks, so will we but make it all fold out and lens-flarey shiat 'cause this is the future and the future's too bright to see what the hell's going on anyways...No, don't do phasers like that, make it all pew-pew-pew like Star Wars. People get distracted easily by bright, colored lights and will think this film good if we have enough in there...Moral quandry? What's this BS? Get rid of it, the only quandary Pine will have is how to bang Zoe and Quinto...What? This "Kirk" guy is supposed to be captain? Screw it, we'll do that in the last scene. Who cares if it doesn't make any sense? I'm Abrams, biatch! People buy my crap and it never makes any sense!"

Ok generic space action movie, complete failure as a Star Trek movie. Shatner must feel vindicated by no longer being the worst ST director, at least he had ...


So you're saying that you didn't think it made any sense that Kirk, a novice crew member that had recently been left to die on an ice planet due to mutiny, could become Captain just by inciting a fist fight with the current Captain, and that the crew wouldn't just automatically follow him?

You know nothing about how the navy works, sir. That's EXACTLY what happens.

(It was another case of a crappy plot we were supposed to believe because we KNEW the characters were all buddies and pals, it was just that THEY didn't know it! Johnny Lens Flare wanted to use the names and history of the franchise as a crutch, then uses it to prop up idiotic plot holes. Spock, his unarmed and unescorted ship filled with enough red matter to destroy the entire galaxy. My suspension of disbelief, puking in the theatre bathroom after being expected to swallow that tripe.)
 
2012-12-27 01:21:11 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: Still relevant to everyone one of these threads.


meh, you missed the chance to use the Red Letter Media review

/anyone want some pizza rolls?
 
2012-12-27 01:23:56 PM
I enjoy being a casual fan of both Star Trek and Star Wars.  The Abrams Star Trek for me was one of the best Star Trek movies ever---right up there with Wrath of Khan and First Contact
 
2012-12-27 01:26:10 PM

jj325: I enjoy being a casual fan of both Star Trek and Star Wars.  The Abrams Star Trek for me was one of the best Star Trek movies ever---right up there with Wrath of Khan and First Contact


I completely agree. I really enjoyed the heck out of the new Star Trek. But I guess we're a minority now around these here parts so you might want to put on a helmet or something before people start throwing rocks.
 
2012-12-27 01:30:26 PM

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.

Besides, Star Wars is terrible. Just terrible.

No, it wasn't. It was a generic space flick, entertaining for one watch through, maybe two, and then relegated to the B-movie schlock pile with the other space movies with ships that look like buildings and breweries inside. The only trappings related to anything Star Trek are purely superficial; the names, the uniforms and the ship design, but the central philosophies of the show and the heart was completely absent. It's as though someone with zero familiarity with the franchise were given the job to create a ST film and read only the IMDB synposis, looked at a handful of pictures and commenced filming without a clue.

"Oh, there was a hot green chick in the original? Throw one in there for Kirk to bone as fan service. Boobs fill seats...Give that doctor guy a catch phrase else no one will know who he's supposed to be...Wait a second, wasn't there a picture of Sulu fencing shirtless circulating around about the time George got married? Well, give him a sword, dammit! No, not that one; he's asian fercrissakes, so make it a katana. Tarantino uses katanas with asians and rakes in the bucks, so will we but make it all fold out and lens-flarey shiat 'cause this is the future and the future's too bright to see what the hell's going on anyways...No, don't do phasers like that, make it all pew-pew-pew like Star Wars. People get distracted easily by bright, colored lights and will think this film good if we have enough in there...Moral quandry? What's this BS? Get rid of it, the only quandary Pine will have is how to bang Zoe and Quinto...What? This "Kirk" guy is supposed to be captain? Screw it, we'll do that in the last scene. Who cares if it doesn't make any sense? I'm Abrams, biatch! People buy my crap and it never makes any sense!"

Ok generic space action movie, complete failure as a Star Trek movie. Shatner must feel vindicated by no longer being the worst ST director, at least he had ...


I'm with you. I really think they should have killed new Kirk and Spock in the first movie to hammer home that this is not the old Trek universe, but something new and altogether different.
 
2012-12-27 01:30:46 PM

Dingleberry Dickwad: LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.

Besides, Star Wars is terrible. Just terrible.

This Face Left Blank: LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.

Besides, Star Wars is terrible. Just terrible.

I don't know how anyone can like Star Wars over Star Trek, and I say that as someone who was eleven and a huge fan when the Episode IV: A New Hope came out. The new Trek reboot was fun, good-looking, full of action and had a great cast. I just hope - for the love of all that's holy - they aren't gonna use existing movies and episodes as the basis for every new Trek movie from hereon out.

I take it we're not allowed to enjoy both?

Berman and Braga ruined the TV franchise the way someone else upthread mentioned. They had good ideas but piss poor execution. It's like they couldn't say no to a stupid storyline or plot element or something.


Yeah, Berman & Braga ruined things. Yeah, OF COURSE you're allowed to like what you want. It's just that, with Star Wars, there was so much promise and Lucas farked it up. Trek's basic premise was never ruined by B/B, just the particular episodes they worked on. Some would argue Lucas hurt the very foundations of Star Wars, with the Midi-chlorians, etc. Who knows, though? Maybe getting Star Wars away from Lucas is the best thing that could have happened, and instead of a hastily-slapped-together money grab, we'll see a resurgence of the series. We can hope, anyway.

Maybe Star Wars can come back strong. It's just that there are only six movies in Star Wars, and there was a fair amount of suck in 4 of them. farkin' Ewoks? Jar-Jar? Han didn't shoot first? Darth Vader is a emo wuss? Maybe the Star Wars series isn't ruined, but Lucas farked up a large portion of the series to date, so it needs a strong comeback.
 
2012-12-27 01:31:09 PM

LlamaGirl: jj325: I enjoy being a casual fan of both Star Trek and Star Wars.  The Abrams Star Trek for me was one of the best Star Trek movies ever---right up there with Wrath of Khan and First Contact

I completely agree. I really enjoyed the heck out of the new Star Trek. But I guess we're a minority now around these here parts so you might want to put on a helmet or something before people start throwing rocks.


I think it was enjoyable, just would have been the same film outside of the ST universe. Galaxy Quest had more of the ST esthetic to it then the new film
 
2012-12-27 01:31:56 PM

LlamaGirl: I'm proud to be "part of the problem" if it keeps pissing off curmudgeoney asshats like yourself.

PEOPLE LIKE DIFFERENT THINGS! OH MY GOD! The horror!!!


I simply cannot accept the garbage that qualifies as cinema now. I wish I could be like you and not have that problem, but I guess I'm just too goddamned intelligent - it's a blessing and a curse.
I'm encouraging people to have higher standards. If they did we would have better "art" in film instead of constantly being offered the cinematic equivalent of Taylor Swift's new single. I don't want all the available music to be Taylor Swift any more than I want all the available movies to be like the new "Star Trek". For people who can "see through" the action sequences to the shallow worthless p.o.s. that movies like that one are it can be quite frustrating. Avatar and Dark Knight Rises are also fine examples of this. They are embarrassing to watch...but like rats to the feeder bar people just throw money at them and so shiat films just never stop.
Until one day...
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-27 01:33:38 PM

zedster: LlamaGirl: jj325: I enjoy being a casual fan of both Star Trek and Star Wars.  The Abrams Star Trek for me was one of the best Star Trek movies ever---right up there with Wrath of Khan and First Contact

I completely agree. I really enjoyed the heck out of the new Star Trek. But I guess we're a minority now around these here parts so you might want to put on a helmet or something before people start throwing rocks.

I think it was enjoyable, just would have been the same film outside of the ST universe. Galaxy Quest had more of the ST esthetic to it then the new film


Galaxy Quest was more fun AND had more heart than Space Adventure: Who's Paying the Electric Bills? could ever hope to.
 
2012-12-27 01:35:23 PM

zedster: Jim from Saint Paul: Still relevant to everyone one of these threads.

meh, you missed the chance to use the Red Letter Media review

/anyone want some pizza rolls?


I was saving that for if this conversation ever gets back to Rick Berman.

/TV show Picard, we'll call him "Larry"
 
2012-12-27 01:36:13 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: zedster: Jim from Saint Paul: Still relevant to everyone one of these threads.

meh, you missed the chance to use the Red Letter Media review

/anyone want some pizza rolls?

I was saving that for if this conversation ever gets back to Rick Berman.

/TV show Picard, we'll call him "Larry"


WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?
 
2012-12-27 01:38:30 PM

born_yesterday: Galaxy Quest was more fun AND had more heart than Space Adventure: Who's Paying the Electric Bills? could ever hope to.


Newsflash: The existence of other great movies does not make this movie bad.

I am sorry they did not consult with you on how you would have made the movies ... I know it really hurts. But the great reviews combined with the extreme amounts of profit suggest that they are probably happy with their decision.
 
2012-12-27 01:40:26 PM
My biggest complaint with the new Star Trek movies is the casting of Simon Pegg as Scotty. I love Simon Pegg, but he's just not right for that role, and Scotty was more than just the comic relief on the original show. Pegg plays him as far too broad. Karl Urban is great as McCoy, as is Quinto as Spock, Chris Pine as young Kirk is merely okay, but I'm not sure who would have been better. And yes, the Red Matter plot doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and nor does Nero without reading the official prequel comic, and i shouldn't have to do that to enjoy a movie. It was fun though, and I enjoyed seeing the Enterprise on the big screen again. I enjoyed the Into Darkness preview before the Hobbit as well, and not just because I think Benedict Cumberbatch is basically the most awesome man alive not named Bruce Campbell. His villain seemed interesting, and not just a Khan/Gary Mitchell redux.

I'm just sad that between Cumberbatch in Trek and doing mocap for Smaug, as well as Martin freeman being Bilbo, the chances of getting more new episodes of Sherlock are slim. I guess I could watch the Lucy Liu thing on CBS, but why would I want to?
 
2012-12-27 01:40:32 PM

Minus 1 Charisma: I simply cannot accept the garbage that qualifies as cinema now. I wish I could be like you and not have that problem, but I guess I'm just too goddamned intelligent - it's a blessing and a curse.


So what you're saying is that I'm not intelligent because I enjoy different movies? Fascinating.

You sir, are a terrible person and I kind of hope you get a paper cut from one of your smart people books and it gets so infected that your hand falls off!
 
2012-12-27 01:40:39 PM

Minus 1 Charisma: LlamaGirl: I'm proud to be "part of the problem" if it keeps pissing off curmudgeoney asshats like yourself.

PEOPLE LIKE DIFFERENT THINGS! OH MY GOD! The horror!!!

I simply cannot accept the garbage that qualifies as cinema now. I wish I could be like you and not have that problem, but I guess I'm just too goddamned intelligent - it's a blessing and a curse.
I'm encouraging people to have higher standards. If they did we would have better "art" in film instead of constantly being offered the cinematic equivalent of Taylor Swift's new single. I don't want all the available music to be Taylor Swift any more than I want all the available movies to be like the new "Star Trek". For people who can "see through" the action sequences to the shallow worthless p.o.s. that movies like that one are it can be quite frustrating. Avatar and Dark Knight Rises are also fine examples of this. They are embarrassing to watch...but like rats to the feeder bar people just throw money at them and so shiat films just never stop.
Until one day...
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x215]


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-12-27 01:42:04 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: [upload.wikimedia.org image 250x141]


This is why I like you so much.
 
2012-12-27 01:44:10 PM

Minus 1 Charisma: LlamaGirl: I'm proud to be "part of the problem" if it keeps pissing off curmudgeoney asshats like yourself.

PEOPLE LIKE DIFFERENT THINGS! OH MY GOD! The horror!!!

I simply cannot accept the garbage that qualifies as cinema now. I wish I could be like you and not have that problem, but I guess I'm just too goddamned intelligent - it's a blessing and a curse.
I'm encouraging people to have higher standards. If they did we would have better "art" in film instead of constantly being offered the cinematic equivalent of Taylor Swift's new single. I don't want all the available music to be Taylor Swift any more than I want all the available movies to be like the new "Star Trek". For people who can "see through" the action sequences to the shallow worthless p.o.s. that movies like that one are it can be quite frustrating. Avatar and Dark Knight Rises are also fine examples of this. They are embarrassing to watch...but like rats to the feeder bar people just throw money at them and so shiat films just never stop.
Until one day...


I think we found at least one of Armond White's alts.
 
2012-12-27 01:46:32 PM
Honestly, Prometheus was more Star Trek than '09 Star Trek.
 
2012-12-27 01:47:37 PM

LucklessWonder: I'm just sad that between Cumberbatch in Trek and doing mocap for Smaug, as well as Martin freeman being Bilbo, the chances of getting more new episodes of Sherlock are slim.


I believe I read 2014, which is a long wait.
 
2012-12-27 01:48:18 PM

Minus 1 Charisma: LlamaGirl: I'm proud to be "part of the problem" if it keeps pissing off curmudgeoney asshats like yourself.

PEOPLE LIKE DIFFERENT THINGS! OH MY GOD! The horror!!!

I simply cannot accept the garbage that qualifies as cinema now. I wish I could be like you and not have that problem, but I guess I'm just too goddamned intelligent - it's a blessing and a curse.
I'm encouraging people to have higher standards. If they did we would have better "art" in film instead of constantly being offered the cinematic equivalent of Taylor Swift's new single. I don't want all the available music to be Taylor Swift any more than I want all the available movies to be like the new "Star Trek". For people who can "see through" the action sequences to the shallow worthless p.o.s. that movies like that one are it can be quite frustrating. Avatar and Dark Knight Rises are also fine examples of this. They are embarrassing to watch...but like rats to the feeder bar people just throw money at them and so shiat films just never stop.
Until one day...
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x215]


imgs.xkcd.com
 
2012-12-27 01:52:00 PM

zedster: Jim from Saint Paul: zedster: Jim from Saint Paul: Still relevant to everyone one of these threads.

meh, you missed the chance to use the Red Letter Media review

/anyone want some pizza rolls?

I was saving that for if this conversation ever gets back to Rick Berman.

/TV show Picard, we'll call him "Larry"

WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE?


FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE
 
2012-12-27 01:54:34 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: zedster: LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.

good film? meh, it was fun but I refuse to call any film with Tyler Perry in it good

I felt it was an enjoyable action flick but failed to use any of the Star Trek moral quandaries, it just ran over itself

That being said Star Wars in the movies themselves was a space opera and not too scifi-y so it actually would be better helmed by JJ "Lens Flair" Abrams

Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.

Besides, Star Wars is terrible. Just terrible.

No, it wasn't. It was a generic space flick, entertaining for one watch through, maybe two, and then relegated to the B-movie schlock pile with the other space movies with ships that look like buildings and breweries inside. The only trappings related to anything Star Trek are purely superficial; the names, the uniforms and the ship design, but the central philosophies of the show and the heart was completely absent. It's as though someone with zero familiarity with the franchise were given the job to create a ST film and read only the IMDB synposis, looked at a handful of pictures and commenced filming without a clue.

"Oh, there was a hot green chick in the original? Throw one in there for Kirk to bone as fan service. Boobs fill seats...Give that doctor guy a catch phrase else no one will know who he's supposed to be...Wait a second, wasn't there a picture of Sulu fencing shirtless circulating around about the time George got married? Well, give him a sword, dammit! No, not that one; he's asian fercrissakes, so make it a katana. Tarantino uses katanas with asians and rakes in the bucks, so will we but make it all fold out and lens-flarey shiat 'cause this is the future and the future's too bright to see what the hell's going on anyways...No, don't do phasers like that, make it all pew-pew-pew like Star Wars. People get distracted easily by bright, colored lights and will think this film good if we have enough in there...Moral quandry? What's this BS? Get rid of it, the only quandary Pine will have is how to bang Zoe and Quinto...What? This "Kirk" guy is supposed to be captain? Screw it, we'll do that in the last scene. Who cares if it doesn't make any sense? I'm Abrams, biatch! People buy my crap and it never makes any sense!"

Ok generic space action movie, complete failure as a Star Trek movie. Shatner must feel vindicated by no longer being the worst ST director, at least he had ...

Dingleberry Dickwad: imashark: While the movies are fun, they don't really exude "Star Trek" to me. Then again, I probably would only feel that Star Trek feeling with another TV series.

I kind of agree on that one. I enjoyed the movie, and while the character names are the same it just doesn't seem quite like Trek to me, although Urban did a pretty good McCoy. Even though Scotty was somewhat comical in the originals, I think they over did it with Pegg, especially with his stupid little mascot. Uhura is ok, I just wish they would have picked a little bit thicker of a woman like the original, because goddamn was Nichelle Nichols hot back in the day. I do like that they're playing Spock a touch more human (personality wise) than TOS since it plays better with the whole half human bit that we didn't know throughout most of TOS.

mooseyfate: Wait, we're hating Abrams' Star Trek now?! Does nobody forward these memos to me? I just got done making 1000 "Set your phasers to Lens Flare" shirts with "Abrams is God" on the back. Goddamnit...

Still relevant to everyone one of these threads.


Damn. You beat me to it.

/I love The Onion.
 
2012-12-27 01:56:05 PM

Jizz Master Zero: Jim from Saint Paul: Rev. Skarekroe: I liked the new Star Trek, but that's a funny headline.

Can't think of any excuse to hide a starship under the ocean, though. The more I think about it, the dumber it seems...

The trailer shows a ship crashing into the water. Why are people NOT assuming that's the ship being towed/taken OUT of it in some way?

***SPOILERS***

It's right in the first ten minutes that they showed before The Hobbit's opening weekend IMAX showings. They're on a planet that's going to experience a cataclysmic event and they're trying to avoid being seen by the primitive natives while preventing the event. They're forced to keep the Enterprise nearby without violating the Prime Directive and thus are hiding it under an ocean, which Scotty really, really, really doesn't approve of. Guess who violates the Prime Directive anyway when he sees something shiny?


Except the trailer clearly shows a bunch of skyscrapers and other buildings in the foreground as the ship crashes into the water, so obviously this is not on the "primitive pre-warp all of our foliage is red" planet.
 
2012-12-27 01:56:31 PM

You Are All Sheep: Honestly, Prometheus was more Star Trek than '09 Star Trek.


Just saw that movie.

Couldn't disagree more.

/both were good for what they were
//original Alien is still better then Prometheus
 
2012-12-27 02:06:07 PM

LlamaGirl: mooseyfate: Wait, we're hating Abrams' Star Trek now?! Does nobody forward these memos to me? I just got done making 1000 "Set your phasers to Lens Flare" shirts with "Abrams is God" on the back. Goddamnit...

If it's something the general population enjoys, Farkers have to hate it. If you don't agree with them you can go right to hell because you are WRONG!!!


Farkers are the largest gathering of hipsters the internet has ever seen....

...yet they rage against their brethren because they hated it first.
 
2012-12-27 02:09:07 PM

puckrock2000: Jizz Master Zero: Jim from Saint Paul: Rev. Skarekroe: I liked the new Star Trek, but that's a funny headline.

Can't think of any excuse to hide a starship under the ocean, though. The more I think about it, the dumber it seems...

The trailer shows a ship crashing into the water. Why are people NOT assuming that's the ship being towed/taken OUT of it in some way?

***SPOILERS***

It's right in the first ten minutes that they showed before The Hobbit's opening weekend IMAX showings. They're on a planet that's going to experience a cataclysmic event and they're trying to avoid being seen by the primitive natives while preventing the event. They're forced to keep the Enterprise nearby without violating the Prime Directive and thus are hiding it under an ocean, which Scotty really, really, really doesn't approve of. Guess who violates the Prime Directive anyway when he sees something shiny?

Except the trailer clearly shows a bunch of skyscrapers and other buildings in the foreground as the ship crashes into the water, so obviously this is not on the "primitive pre-warp all of our foliage is red" planet.


Argument: Abrams' Star Trek eliminated the hard moral choices the show was beloved for.

Answer: Abrams obviously working the morality plot device into the movie.

Argument: Well that's retarded.

/answer: no one will ever be happy with anything
 
2012-12-27 02:09:30 PM

Minus 1 Charisma: I'm a huge Star Trek fan...
The latest Star Trek movie wasn't a Star Trek movie. It was Hollywood garbage for the wal-mart masses of idiot Americans. That can be said (sort of) for the TNG films as well - but it wasn't nearly as blatant as the latest one which only served to extract as much money as possible from as many of the brain-dead, wal-mart shopping masses. If you watched the latest Star Trek and you call it a "good movie" then you are part of the problem. The movie was farking ridiculously stupid.
Come to think of it movies all farking suck these days.
Get off my lawn.


You know if you had mentioned wal-mart one more time in that post they would have given you a $25 gift card.
 
2012-12-27 02:15:09 PM

puckrock2000: Jizz Master Zero: Jim from Saint Paul: Rev. Skarekroe: I liked the new Star Trek, but that's a funny headline.

Can't think of any excuse to hide a starship under the ocean, though. The more I think about it, the dumber it seems...

The trailer shows a ship crashing into the water. Why are people NOT assuming that's the ship being towed/taken OUT of it in some way?

***SPOILERS***

It's right in the first ten minutes that they showed before The Hobbit's opening weekend IMAX showings. They're on a planet that's going to experience a cataclysmic event and they're trying to avoid being seen by the primitive natives while preventing the event. They're forced to keep the Enterprise nearby without violating the Prime Directive and thus are hiding it under an ocean, which Scotty really, really, really doesn't approve of. Guess who violates the Prime Directive anyway when he sees something shiny?

Except the trailer clearly shows a bunch of skyscrapers and other buildings in the foreground as the ship crashes into the water, so obviously this is not on the "primitive pre-warp all of our foliage is red" planet.


My mistake for the misquote, since I was responding to the Weeners and clicked the wrong one. I assumed people would be able to figure out who I was responding to from the context.
 
2012-12-27 02:18:28 PM
Wow, didn't think the filter would go all Wieners on that phrase too. Hm... I was responding to the initial arrangement of words. How about that?
 
2012-12-27 02:18:47 PM

LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good.


I'm sorry, but while the dialogue, pacing, effects and characters were fine (I don't have a problem with mindless action, catch phrases and iconic scenes/references), the story was just poo. They essentially took the plot of TNG's Yesterday's Enterprise and Nemesis and skingrafted them together.

The problem is it was just a dumb story. Where the fark did the red matter come from? Why does Spock have so much of it? Why would Nero blame him for their sun going supernova? How was that his farking fault? How the hell did Kirk land within walking distance of Spock's cave on an entire farking planet -- what are the odds of that contrivance? Why make a rookie cadet fresh out of the Academy and not even assigned to the god damn ship Captain? ....he shouldn't have even been a junior grade lieutenant with that crap.

It goes on and on. Everything was great about the movie and I really want to like it, but it gets worse than repeated viewings because the plot holes are worse than Spock's Brain.
 
2012-12-27 02:21:27 PM
I think my biggest problem with the new trek was officers brawling on the bridge while everyone stands around until things become almost lethal

over all the movie stunk

The only joy being Scotty's line about *given' 'er all she's got* or whatever
 
2012-12-27 02:21:43 PM
Plot holes = read the comic miniseries before watching the movie. It is all explained.

(and would've added about two hours to the movie if it were to be filmed)
 
2012-12-27 02:24:17 PM

LlamaGirl: jj325: I enjoy being a casual fan of both Star Trek and Star Wars.  The Abrams Star Trek for me was one of the best Star Trek movies ever---right up there with Wrath of Khan and First Contact

I completely agree. I really enjoyed the heck out of the new Star Trek. But I guess we're a minority now around these here parts so you might want to put on a helmet or something before people start throwing rocks.


I'm with you guys. And I'll say it - I found every single Star Wars to be entertaining. Good movies? Nope. But entertaining, which was the point.

/The Hobbit can fark off and die, though.
 
2012-12-27 02:24:50 PM
Fark - basically we're the 6% from Rotten Tomatoes who didn't like the movie.™
 
2012-12-27 02:27:29 PM

LL316: LlamaGirl: jj325: I enjoy being a casual fan of both Star Trek and Star Wars.  The Abrams Star Trek for me was one of the best Star Trek movies ever---right up there with Wrath of Khan and First Contact

I completely agree. I really enjoyed the heck out of the new Star Trek. But I guess we're a minority now around these here parts so you might want to put on a helmet or something before people start throwing rocks.

I'm with you guys. And I'll say it - I found every single Star Wars to be entertaining. Good movies? Nope. But entertaining, which was the point.

/The Hobbit can fark off and die, though.


duck....
 
2012-12-27 02:29:20 PM
A young man grows up without a father, but hearing of his legacy. He's troubled, he feels trapped at his home, and that he's meant for bigger things, but just can't get away.

A wise older man comes along, who knew his father and convinces him to start working towards his destiny. The young man does so. But before he can finish his training, he's thrown into a circumstance where he's really not ready, but he's going to have to try to overcome anyway. The villain arrives and uses his super weapon and the heroes are unable to stop him. Using his quick wits and natural abilities the young man over comes his adversity and returns to help his new friends as they prepare go make a stand against the villain and his super weapon. The villain moves into position and at the last possible moment, the young man stops the villain and his super weapon. He's realizing his destiny, perhaps a bit later than is normal, but he is becoming his own man and is living up to his father's legacy.

Yeah, JJ turned Star Trek into Star Wars.
 
2012-12-27 02:33:41 PM

You Are All Sheep: Honestly, Prometheus was more Star Trek than '09 Star Trek.


Prometheus convinced me never to watch anything written by that hack Lindelhoff ever again.

He can't write characters, he doesn't understand motive or plot, and his MO is to constantly introduce irrelevant plot points that oughta go off like Chekov's Gun later but never do, leaving you wondering what happened to them or why they were even introduced in the first place. And his response is always "Well, this [movie/tv show/episode] is not so much about answers as it is about asking question."

No. It's about having a solid, steady resolution to the central conflict with no major loose ends hanging (except for a few miscellaneous ones that can be fleshed out in a sequel). "Keeping the audience guessing" is not synonymous with "Leaving the audience wanting more". It's tantamount to dangling keys in front of a raccoon. Done sparingly and well, it can make or break a story. Done all the time, it's a farking cocktease and it's disrespectful to your audience and the nature of storytelling.

I'm not biting your lure anymore, Lindelhoff. fark off.
 
2012-12-27 02:36:59 PM

Farking Canuck: browntimmy: I've only watched clips of the original Star Trek, but it looks cheesier than Adam West Batman.

There were a few real issues of the first Abrams star trek:
- abandoning a troublesome crew member on an ice planet?!?
- the coincidence of finding Spock there
- the long range transport to a ship moving away at warp (and was already very far way)
- filling the flagship of the fleet with cadets and then putting one in charge
- giving Scotty an Ewok sidekick

Even with all those annoying flaws, it was still an entertaining movie. So my hope is, now that the origin story is out of the way, they can do #2 even better.



Diogenes Teufelsdrockh: LlamaGirl: But Star Trek was good. Besides, Star Wars is terrible. Just terrible. No, it wasn't. It was a generic space flick, entertaining for one watch through, maybe two, and then relegated to the B-movie schlock pile with the other space movies with ships that look like buildings and breweries inside. The only trappings related to anything Star Trek are purely superficial; the names, the uniforms and the ship design, but the central philosophies of the show and the heart was completely absent. It's as though someone with zero familiarity with the franchise were given the job to create a ST film and read only the IMDB synposis, looked at a handful of pictures and commenced filming without a clue. "Oh, there was a hot green chick in the original? Throw one in there for Kirk to bone as fan service. Boobs fill seats...Give that doctor guy a catch phrase else no one will know who he's supposed to be...Wait a second, wasn't there a picture of Sulu fencing shirtless circulating around about the time George got married? Well, give him a sword, dammit! No, not that one; he's asian fercrissakes, so make it a katana. Tarantino uses katanas with asians and rakes in the bucks, so will we but make it all fold out and lens-flarey shiat 'cause this is the future and the future's too bright to see what the hell's going on anyways...No, don't do phasers like that, make it all pew-pew-pew like Star Wars. People get distracted easily by bright, colored lights and will think this film good if we have enough in there...Moral quandry? What's this BS? Get rid of it, the only quandary Pine will have is how to bang Zoe and Quinto...What? This "Kirk" guy is supposed to be captain? Screw it, we'll do that in the last scene. Who cares if it doesn't make any sense? I'm Abrams, biatch! People buy my crap and it never makes any sense!" Ok generic space action movie, complete failure as a Star Trek movie. Shatner must feel vindicated by no longer being the worst ST director, at least he had ...


QFT, J, & TAW.

Seriously, Star Trek Lensflare was nothing but a naked cash grab. Capitalize on characters who have crossed over into mainstream culture ("Beam me up, Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here."), put together a story with just enough nods to the source material to make it look like they know it, pick beautiful people and make it very action-oriented. Then deliberately belittle the original series to have a built in defense against arguments that "This isn't Star Trek." before the movie even comes out, and voila.

Star Trek 2009.
 
2012-12-27 02:38:59 PM

WTF Indeed: These new star wars movies are going to be awesomely bad. I can't wait for Johnny Depp to be the new Han.


Yeah, those Marvel movies that Disney did were TERRIBLE, plus, the last three Star Wars movies were so amazing, right?
 
2012-12-27 02:40:06 PM

Ishkur: You Are All Sheep: Honestly, Prometheus was more Star Trek than '09 Star Trek.

Prometheus convinced me never to watch anything written by that hack Lindelhoff ever again.

He can't write characters, he doesn't understand motive or plot, and his MO is to constantly introduce irrelevant plot points that oughta go off like Chekov's Gun later but never do, leaving you wondering what happened to them or why they were even introduced in the first place. And his response is always "Well, this [movie/tv show/episode] is not so much about answers as it is about asking question."

No. It's about having a solid, steady resolution to the central conflict with no major loose ends hanging (except for a few miscellaneous ones that can be fleshed out in a sequel). "Keeping the audience guessing" is not synonymous with "Leaving the audience wanting more". It's tantamount to dangling keys in front of a raccoon. Done sparingly and well, it can make or break a story. Done all the time, it's a farking cocktease and it's disrespectful to your audience and the nature of storytelling.

I'm not biting your lure anymore, Lindelhoff. fark off.


Lindelhoff appeared on an episode of Talking Dead. I was terrified that they were going to make that worthless, talentless hack a writer for the show. Had he been writing the second season of the Walking Dead, it would have been the same, except they never would have found Sophia. And there would have been unexplained noises/lights in the sky at night. Or we would have been introduced to a group of new characters at the end of the season that HAD ALL OF THE ANSWERS...but never appeared in the third. Or any of the other talentless crap he calls writing.
 
2012-12-27 02:40:37 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: Rev. Skarekroe: I liked the new Star Trek, but that's a funny headline.

Can't think of any excuse to hide a starship under the ocean, though. The more I think about it, the dumber it seems...

The trailer shows a ship crashing into the water. Why are people NOT assuming that's the ship being towed/taken OUT of it in some way?


People are criticizing screenshots of a 30 second trailer? OY
 
2012-12-27 02:42:52 PM

coeyagi: Fark - basically we're the 6% from Rotten Tomatoes who didn't like the movie.™


The internet: your favorite thing sucks

//movie was awesome
//every time i watch it
 
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