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(AccessAtlanta)   "Hi, my name is Clitoris Unicorn Jones and I believe I've just found your dog"   (accessatlanta.com) divider line 55
    More: Misc, Chris Lehane, dogs  
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13468 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2012 at 6:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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Archived thread
 
2012-12-26 06:40:21 PM
I hope Mike Hunt finds the doggie.
 
2012-12-26 06:41:07 PM
www.randomlolz.com
 
2012-12-26 06:43:19 PM
Most Farkers are scratching their heads and doing a Google search to find out what a Clitoris is.

You all should ask your moms, they will know.
 
2012-12-26 06:43:50 PM
Clitoris Unicorn Jones O'rielly
 
2012-12-26 06:44:30 PM
Clitoris Unicorn Jones O'rielly von Lipshiatz
 
2012-12-26 06:44:35 PM
I knew a gal back in high school who named her daughter Clitoris. She also considered Labia but it just didn't test as shocking enough with the teachers she mentioned it to.
 
2012-12-26 06:45:04 PM
s8.postimage.org
 
2012-12-26 06:46:37 PM
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-12-26 06:46:55 PM
I vaguely remember a drag queen named Clitoris Leachman.
 
2012-12-26 06:49:04 PM
Brookline Police Animal Control Officer looked down the center aisle and saw Johnny Green framed by a slanted white rectangle of doorway...
 
2012-12-26 06:49:06 PM
L-O-V-E the headline subby!! A+ work!!
 
2012-12-26 06:49:23 PM
I guess someone named "Clitoris Unicorn" would be pretty good at finding impossible-to-find things.
 
2012-12-26 06:50:17 PM
Is her whereabouts very hard to guess? Then it would be an aptly name.
 
2012-12-26 06:50:45 PM
I'm hoping that Nigel Incubator-Jones finds it.
 
2012-12-26 06:51:29 PM

WordsnCollision: [images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 500x402]


Leaves satisfied
 
2012-12-26 06:59:00 PM
On the "oh, that name has to be made up" front though, I did go to college with a guy whose actual name was Mike Roch.
 
2012-12-26 07:00:54 PM
At least we can rule out the person will be Korean.
 
2012-12-26 07:02:07 PM
Beagles have really short legs. Someone threw the dog over the fence.
 
2012-12-26 07:08:01 PM
Why on earth would you ever take the tags off your pet?
 
2012-12-26 07:08:37 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Clitoris Unicorn Jones O'rielly von Lipshiatz


But it's pronounced Throatwarbler Mangrove.
 
2012-12-26 07:09:52 PM

uncleacid: Beagles have really short legs. Someone threw the dog over the fence.


Behold!
 
2012-12-26 07:10:27 PM

ProdigalSigh: Why on earth would you ever take the tags off your pet?


Bath time.
 
2012-12-26 07:11:01 PM
I hope the dog is found by "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt"
 
2012-12-26 07:25:13 PM
"Goodday, sir. My name is Dr. Richard Pengress and I work with the McClaine medical Institute with the animal research department, and I just happened across..."
 
2012-12-26 07:26:02 PM
Lehane says Tessa is "smart, fast, and immeasurably sweet."

Here's a newflash for you: if your dog can't find it's way back home, it's not really all that smart.
Could be the dog has died some kind of way though.
 
2012-12-26 07:26:04 PM

notyomama: Smeggy Smurf: Clitoris Unicorn Jones O'rielly von Lipshiatz

But it's pronounced Throatwarbler Mangrove.


I'd like a nose job, please.
 
2012-12-26 07:28:57 PM
"Cudge? Cudge, is that you? How's the gel?"
 
2012-12-26 07:32:53 PM

Arkanaut: I guess someone named "Clitoris Unicorn" would be pretty good at finding impossible-to-find things.


Hehe... game over, man... game over.
 
2012-12-26 07:36:11 PM
Came for Gene Masseth. Leaving disappointed.
 
2012-12-26 07:38:33 PM
Ben Derover
 
2012-12-26 07:44:07 PM

Human Dude: Came for Gene Masseth. Leaving disappointed.


It's early in the thread to be disappointed, don't you think?
 
2012-12-26 07:48:35 PM

wellreadneck: I vaguely remember a drag queen named Clitoris Leachman.


You must have been quite drunk that night to only vaguely remember him/her.
 
2012-12-26 08:10:19 PM
www.siliconhomebroker.com
Dennis Lehane = Matt Groening of the future? Of the future.

/of the future
 
2012-12-26 08:23:32 PM

MagSeven: ProdigalSigh: Why on earth would you ever take the tags off your pet?

Bath time.


how do you take the micro-chip out of your animal?
 
2012-12-26 08:23:36 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: [www.siliconhomebroker.com image 400x399]
Dennis Lehane = Matt Groening of the future? Of the future.

/of the future


"To denamely insurpicastely is a criminily enterprizzlely, and I highkindly suggestly you ceasely and desistly..."

*)
 
2012-12-26 08:24:56 PM
Dude, you're doing it wrong. Your middle name should have begun with an O.
 
2012-12-26 08:29:47 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: wellreadneck: I vaguely remember a drag queen named Clitoris Leachman.

You must have been quite drunk that night to only vaguely remember him/her.


Like I could remember the name of anything I nailed back then. Had to have heard that name sober. She must have done her number early on in the show, at least a while before I usually blacked out.
 
2012-12-26 08:34:43 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: wellreadneck: I vaguely remember a drag queen named Clitoris Leachman.

You must have been quite drunk that night to only vaguely remember him/her.


Also be quite old to have gone to a place with drag queens at a time when parodying Cloris Leachman would have still been relevant.
 
2012-12-26 08:43:29 PM

What_Would_Jimi_Do: MagSeven: ProdigalSigh: Why on earth would you ever take the tags off your pet?

Bath time.

how do you take the micro-chip out of your animal?


With a numbing agent, scalpel and years of medical experience?

But the way I read the article the dog had tags (collar) AND a micro-chip. He got out without the tags. Some people either aren't aware of micro-chips or just will put up signs in the neighborhood and let the lost dog crash with them. I used to have to take my dog's tags and collar off after a bath because he would jump out of the tub and immediately start rubbing his head and neck on the carpet because he hated being wet. Didn't want him snagging or choking himself
 
2012-12-26 08:56:38 PM

dletter: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: wellreadneck: I vaguely remember a drag queen named Clitoris Leachman.

You must have been quite drunk that night to only vaguely remember him/her.

Also be quite old to have gone to a place with drag queens at a time when parodying Cloris Leachman would have still been relevant.


If it wasn't for old queens today's young twinks wouldn't dare carry a murse.
 
2012-12-26 09:13:54 PM
I hope he finds his dog. Beagles are a pain in the rear, but they sure are sweet.
 
2012-12-26 09:21:43 PM
To tag
 
2012-12-26 10:11:36 PM
"I can't find myself, but I found your dog."
 
2012-12-26 10:12:17 PM

bingethinker: "I can't find myself, but I found your dog."


To dog
 
2012-12-26 10:14:06 PM

Indubitably: bingethinker: "I can't find myself, but I found your dog."

To dog


P.S. I already smelled your  ass, Mr. Ass, and I'm  not impressed. Shat more.
 
2012-12-26 10:14:44 PM
It would be the last that came to Molly Grue
 
2012-12-26 10:14:53 PM

Indubitably: Indubitably: bingethinker: "I can't find myself, but I found your dog."

To dog

P.S. I already smelled your  ass, Mr. Ass, and I'm  not impressed. Shat more.


To bear
 
2012-12-26 10:14:55 PM
Is there any dog breed more likely to run away than a beagle? I hope he finds his dog, but sheesh...
 
2012-12-26 10:43:19 PM

Canton: Is there any dog breed more likely to run away than a beagle? I hope he finds his dog, but sheesh...


Yes: Siberian Huskeys. Pull that invisible sled! Run, run!

Otherwise, you're right about beagles. They are the Houdinis of the dog world, going under, through, or over any type of fence imaginable. Nose to the ground, tail up, off he goes. Now where is that pesky rabbit? Barroooo?!?

But dang they sure make cute puppies.
 
2012-12-26 11:36:05 PM
Heywood Jablome.
 
2012-12-27 02:18:10 AM

Aces and Eights: Canton: Is there any dog breed more likely to run away than a beagle? I hope he finds his dog, but sheesh...

Yes: Siberian Huskeys. Pull that invisible sled! Run, run!

Otherwise, you're right about beagles. They are the Houdinis of the dog world, going under, through, or over any type of fence imaginable. Nose to the ground, tail up, off he goes. Now where is that pesky rabbit? Barroooo?!?

But dang they sure make cute puppies.


But then they grow up into their adult form - generally too large to kick properly, yet still make as much noise and at a continuous level like a kick-me rat dog. They eat your shiat with an insolent look on their face, and chew/scratch up EVERYTHING. Unpleasant, nasty, and without fail EXTREMELY noisy, there's one breed I wish would go on blue light special, never to return.

And I don't want to here 'just one is like that, not MINE!" or poorly trained or whatever, as not only did I have an equally shiatty roommate with one, and one of our current neighbors has one, but I also worked in a pet store. We'd get ones a few months old, and they were the only ones I'd have to put outside the enclosure with cages so I could clean and whatnot. Those little shiatty dogs would just bark continuously, and it would echo off the walls and drill into my skull. To add insult to injury, 90% of the time I'd put them out in the pen so I could clean in peace, then I'd come out an hour or so later to see that not only had they decided to shiat all over the pen, but step and roll all in it too.

/CSB
//Beagles are really nasty, and belong only on farms where they can pose for hunts and hounds, or whatever those disgusting little things are for.
///I would not wear a coat of them, I don't want them that close to me
 
2012-12-27 02:41:51 AM

wellreadneck: dletter: Suckmaster Burstingfoam: wellreadneck: I vaguely remember a drag queen named Clitoris Leachman.

You must have been quite drunk that night to only vaguely remember him/her.

Also be quite old to have gone to a place with drag queens at a time when parodying Cloris Leachman would have still been relevant.

If it wasn't for old queens today's young twinks wouldn't dare carry a murse.


Thanks, Ma'am.
 
2012-12-27 04:15:10 AM

Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: bingethinker: "I can't find myself, but I found your dog."

To dog

P.S. I already smelled your  ass, Mr. Ass, and I'm  not impressed. Shat more.

To bear


Really? Shat was the second to last syllable and you didn't go with "To boldly go"?

/not that I have any idea what you're actually going for
//but still
 
2012-12-27 10:53:41 AM
Quatro Vagina?
 
2012-12-28 06:50:27 PM

SpartacusHobbs: Indubitably: Indubitably: Indubitably: bingethinker: "I can't find myself, but I found your dog."

To dog

P.S. I already smelled your  ass, Mr. Ass, and I'm  not impressed. Shat more.

To bear

Really? Shat was the second to last syllable and you didn't go with "To boldly go"?

/not that I have any idea what you're actually going for
//but still


Who's joke/point am I making again?
 
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