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(Deadspin)   So, what did we get stuck in our rectums in 2012? The year in review   (deadspin.com) divider line 210
    More: Strange, rectums  
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19577 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2012 at 10:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



210 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-26 09:34:08 AM  
Vagina:

"PATIENT STATES SHE SLIPPED & FELL ONTO A TOY TRUCK WHILE CLEANING"
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-12-26 09:55:27 AM  
My favorite:

"12YOF GOING THROUGH MOM'S DRAWER, FOUND PENIS SHAPED 'PLEASURE ITEM,' EXPERIMENTING PUTTING IN HER VAGINA, COULDN'T GET OUT"
 
2012-12-26 10:43:31 AM  
It's always "the rectum", never "your rectum".
 
2012-12-26 10:45:33 AM  
Penis:
SPOON
PLASTIC ZIP TIE
FORKS
ORNAMENT
"PIECE OF TIMBER"
PEN
SODA CAN POP TOP

NONONONONONONONONONONO....
 
2012-12-26 10:45:39 AM  
So I was going to go straight to rectum but got side-tracked by penis. Yeeesh.
 
2012-12-26 10:46:53 AM  
 
2012-12-26 10:47:04 AM  

ZAZ: My favorite:

"12YOF GOING THROUGH MOM'S DRAWER, FOUND PENIS SHAPED 'PLEASURE ITEM,' EXPERIMENTING PUTTING IN HER VAGINA, COULDN'T GET OUT"


/FAP FAP FAP
 
2012-12-26 10:47:16 AM  
"PATIENT STATES SHE SLIPPED & FELL ONTO A TOY TRUCK WHILE CLEANING"

rrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttt
 
2012-12-26 10:47:49 AM  

Bit'O'Gristle:

NONONONONONONONONONONO....


That's what got you instead of "PIECE OF TIMBER"? My god, just thinking about the splinters made me shiver.
 
2012-12-26 10:47:49 AM  
Headline reminds me of those little infographics from The Onion.

/"Who Needs a Good Cock-Punching?"
 
2012-12-26 10:48:55 AM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Penis:
SPOON
PLASTIC ZIP TIE
FORKS
ORNAMENT
"PIECE OF TIMBER"
PEN
SODA CAN POP TOP

NONONONONONONONONONONO....


Forks?? With an 's' meaning more than one ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
 
2012-12-26 10:49:18 AM  
A BEDPOST?!?!?

I can't even....
 
2012-12-26 10:49:41 AM  
Vagina:

SEWING NEEDLES
 
2012-12-26 10:49:59 AM  
Pretty sure rectums it's "rectae"
 
2012-12-26 10:51:40 AM  
That 12 year old must have one epic vagina....
 
2012-12-26 10:51:51 AM  
I swear dc. I was just there cleaning up my apartment while naked, and the cat got startled by the noise of the vacuum, started running all over the place, then next thing I knew...
 
2012-12-26 10:51:54 AM  

Generation_D: Vagina:

"PATIENT STATES SHE SLIPPED & FELL ONTO A TOY TRUCK WHILE CLEANING"


You can't honestly tell me that you have never had that happen.
 
2012-12-26 10:52:44 AM  

maudibjr: Bit'O'Gristle: Penis:
SPOON
PLASTIC ZIP TIE
FORKS
ORNAMENT
"PIECE OF TIMBER"
PEN
SODA CAN POP TOP

NONONONONONONONONONONO....

Forks?? With an 's' meaning more than one ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?


I don't know, I don't want to know, and damn it does inserting anything in the penis is nothing but bad news.
 
2012-12-26 10:52:59 AM  
Errr.. Doc, not dc.
 
2012-12-26 10:53:11 AM  
I had my colon removed from my rectum in 2012. Thanks for asking.
 
2012-12-26 10:53:39 AM  
Now this is news!

/fap
/fap fap
/fap fap fap
 
2012-12-26 10:53:40 AM  
"STUCK TOY IN RECTUM AND BROKE OFF, SAW MOM INSERT TAMPON AND MIMICKED"

I'm sure that makes for awkward family gatherings. I don't know what's worse, the lack of boundaries that lead to the initial observation or the errant attempt to mimic.
 
2012-12-26 10:54:07 AM  
It's official. As a species we are too stupid to live.
 
2012-12-26 10:54:25 AM  

Bit'O'Gristle: Penis:
SPOON
PLASTIC ZIP TIE
FORKS
ORNAMENT
"PIECE OF TIMBER"
PEN
SODA CAN POP TOP


I can imagine a few of the bad puns in the ER for that one "And the pen is..."
 
2012-12-26 10:54:26 AM  
Rectum:
FRENCH BREAD
HAND WRENCH
CIGARETTE LIGHTER
CRAYON
"STUCK TOY IN RECTUM AND BROKE OFF, SAW MOM INSERT TAMPON AND MIMICKED"
VIAL OF BATH SALTS
ARTIFICIAL CHRISTMAS TREE BRANCH
DRUM STICK
VINEGAR BOTTLE
LOTION BOTTLE
MOUTHWASH BOTTLE
SHAMPOO BOTTLE
BABY BOTTLE
"LOOFA W/SUCTION CUP W/HOOK ATTACHED"

WTF. Also rectum,damn near killed him!
 
2012-12-26 10:54:30 AM  

CygnusDarius: maudibjr: Bit'O'Gristle: Penis:
SPOON
PLASTIC ZIP TIE
FORKS
ORNAMENT
"PIECE OF TIMBER"
PEN
SODA CAN POP TOP

NONONONONONONONONONONO....

Forks?? With an 's' meaning more than one ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I don't know, I don't want to know, and damn it does inserting anything in the penis is nothing but bad news.


The soda can pop top sounds way more painful.  Of course, that depends on how big the ornament was.
 
2012-12-26 10:54:46 AM  
wmbriggs.com
 
2012-12-26 10:54:55 AM  
IT WAS A MILLION TO ONE SHOT, DOC! MILLION TO ONE!
 
2012-12-26 10:55:04 AM  
Atheist anuses: "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
 
2012-12-26 10:56:27 AM  

rocinante721: Pretty sure rectums it's "rectae"


Recta. If the singular was already "recta" then it would be "rectae", but it isn't.
 
2012-12-26 10:58:35 AM  

ZAZ: My favorite:

"12YOF GOING THROUGH MOM'S DRAWER, FOUND PENIS SHAPED 'PLEASURE ITEM,' EXPERIMENTING PUTTING IN HER VAGINA, COULDN'T GET OUT"


That had to be the most awkward moment ever for a young girl that will last for a long time with her parents. Mom would be more understanding, however dad would be grossed out and will try not to think about it.

Still not as weird as the kid who mimicked 'mom inserting tampon' by breaking a toy in butt. Makes me wonder if the kid is a boy, which would be even weirder.

The needles in the vagina had to be someone in a bad mental place at the time. It is not possible to think that would be a good idea.
 
2012-12-26 10:58:46 AM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: [wmbriggs.com image 400x399]


why would you want an inverted rectum?

also, who know that pig rectums had bones?
 
2012-12-26 10:59:17 AM  
PROTIP: We Paramedics are going to laugh at you anyway afterwords. Just be honest about how it got there. We really don't care if you decided that a towel rack made a good dildo. Lying about it just makes us laugh harder.
 
2012-12-26 10:59:20 AM  
Bedknobs and broomsticks?
 
2012-12-26 11:00:02 AM  
Conspicuously missing from the 'rectum' list: Head.
 
2012-12-26 11:00:36 AM  

Minarets: Bit'O'Gristle:

NONONONONONONONONONONO....

That's what got you instead of "PIECE OF TIMBER"? My god, just thinking about the splinters made me shiver.


Shiver me timber?
 
2012-12-26 11:01:27 AM  
Nothing will ever match the gentle majesty of Butt Lightyear.

www.geekologie.com
 
2012-12-26 11:01:47 AM  
Throat:
MAXI PAD


i758.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-26 11:01:54 AM  
EAR:
popcorn kernel (unpopped)

My grandson
 
2012-12-26 11:01:55 AM  

BronyMedic: We really don't care if you decided that a towel rack made a good dildo. Lying about it just makes us laugh harder.


I slipped and fell.  How many times do I have to tell you that I slipped on the wet floor and the next thing I knew it was lodged in there.
 
2012-12-26 11:02:59 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-26 11:03:04 AM  

somedude210: Wasilla Hillbilly: why would you want an inverted rectum?


You have to invert them if you want to clean them right for eating. Atleast I would imagine that would be the purpose since people do eat chitterlings.
 
2012-12-26 11:03:05 AM  
I, for one, enjoy an occasional cigarette lighter in the rectum. The Bic ones, not the re-fillable ones.
 
2012-12-26 11:03:20 AM  

gas giant: Bedknobs and broomsticks?


No! I do NOT need a mental image of Angela Lansbury in connection with any of these "insertions", thank you very much!
 
2012-12-26 11:03:37 AM  
So, what did we get stuck in our rectums in 2012? The year rear in review

FTFY.
 
2012-12-26 11:03:44 AM  

littlett's: I slipped and fell.  How many times do I have to tell you that I slipped on the wet floor and the next thing I knew it was lodged in there.


Suuuuure you did, buddy. And your pants just HAPPENED to be around your ankles at the time, right? I guess all that water-based lube made the floor extra slippery.

shedrowconfessions.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-26 11:03:47 AM  
"LOOFA W/SUCTION CUP W/HOOK ATTACHED"

o.O
 
2012-12-26 11:04:01 AM  
Why on earth would you ever, ever let a child witness you putting in a tampon.......
 
2012-12-26 11:04:26 AM  
I met an X-ray tech who said the weirdest thing he ever saw in a rectum was the entire Sunday Newspaper.

Also, the penis thing....It's called "sounding".
 
2012-12-26 11:04:34 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: Nothing will ever match the gentle majesty of Butt Lightyear.

[www.geekologie.com image 640x490]


To ass-sphinctery, and beyond!
 
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