vossiewulf: This is true, those Tolkien cookbooks were getting annoying.
ReapTheChaos: Why does she act as if Jello shots are some new fad?
Pocket Ninja: If only there were a way that someone tired of cupcakes could escape them. If. Only. There. Were. A. Way.
Cuchulane: Bacon's not on the list? Bacon is utterly played out.
Gough: Shadowknight: WhippingBoy: Gough: Lenny_da_Hog: Gough: For every 10 patients that I've had tell me they have a gluten allergy, at least 8 of them tell me that a doctor never actually diagnosed them with it and based it off of vague, internet symptoms like "feeling kind of fatigued," "blotchy skin," or my favorite "exceedinl thin or thick finger and toenails."In short, they're full of shiat.Trust me, if you've been in a house-full of celiacs who have been inadvertently been fed a meal with gluten in it, they're no longer full of shiat./PS They're not self-diagnosed.//WebMD must be the bane of medical professionals.
trappedspirit: Olive Garden actually serves piles of fecal matter strained through used tampons with chunks of medical waste.
Lenny_da_Hog: Gough: That does raise the question of why the Fark french fries would have gluten (malt flavoring or maltodextrin) added to them.Let's put it this way: With the minute percentage of people suffering from celiac disease, a company does not put a wavy multi-colored "Gluten-Free!" banner with a font as big as the brand name, taking up 1/4 of the real estate on the front of the package, to appeal to celiacs.
Cuchulane: Bacon's not on the list? Bacon is utterly played out. How about going back to a couple of slices with breakfast occasionally? Denny's Baconalia was the tipping point.
Mid_mo_mad_man: Would buying Kona coffee from Hawaii be ok or is it not snobby enough?
vudukungfu: Screw you all. I just survived a PWT Christmas in Vermont.Farking dried out cookies made with margarine, not butter.Farking banana bread made with farking canola oil.farking green bean farking casserole made with Campbell's cream of farking mushroom soup. Yes, with the farking bagged fried some-such-shiat crumbled on top. (I didn't ask, that's like asking for the recipe or inviting them to make that green vomit like product again)Farking thin as water gravy made from pan drippings because even though we are an hour south of Quebec, no one here can consider a proper roux.Overfarking cooked ham and turkey that is drier than death valley in farking august.Farking "Fudge" with god-know-what in it, but must contain chopped, bitter walnuts. God fordbid anyone ever roast a farking nut, it might steal heat from the hearth.Some kind of god-awful "broccoli salad" made with hard, unblanched chunks of broccoli and some Kraft brand ranch farking barf dressing.Turnips. That's right. Farking MASHED FARKING TURNIPS. And sqash. and farking hounds ear pickles. (Think of slimy, pickled, green oysters, but larger than oysters, and packed with enough powdered farking clove to kill your taste buds for a week.Oh, and did I mention I got a farking bag of Checks, party mix? Oh it's a special farking recipe, alright. Apparently, you take salted peanuts, salted pretzels, and presalted chex from the boxes at the dollar store, and add onion SALT, and garlic SALT, Then powdered garlic. (perfect gift for a guy who grows and braids his own hybrid garlics)Mashed potatoes ( don't' ask how you can fark those up, but apparently a woman can spend years perfecting farked up mashed potatoes)And then there was desert. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm. Nothign says cheescake like ignoring the recipe and using Cream cheese, Cool Whip, and powdered jello for coloring.Dont' forget the non dairy "whip" toppings for the overcooked pumkin pie with the overcooked crust that could choke a mastiff.Now, when I get done dry-heaving this farking crap up, (it's not getting near my bunghole) I'm going to visit a nice, Asian place and have a quiet, 5 course meal with no booger eating little shaits running around and no people in sweat pants all dressed up for farking dinner.And if they have some of that farking cock sauce on the table, I might just try it.
zephman: Honestly I could give a shiat about other people liking something I've been into for years, unlike most of the hipster douche bags who populate my world.
Shadowknight: As far as awesome rants go, this one was pretty awesome.
SockMonkeyHolocaust: The Oatmeal's mercenary pandering to the LOL INTERNET HOW WACKY, too-old for Hot Topic people is like the Fedex Arrow- once you see it you can't unsee it.
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