Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Buzzfeed)   Eleven food trends that need to go away in 2013, like this sudden desire to put sriracha on everything   (buzzfeed.com ) divider line 38
    More: Spiffy, PEAK PICKLE, just the fact, downtimes, apple cider vinegar  
•       •       •

22382 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2012 at 4:00 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-26 12:05:09 AM  
10 votes:
If only there were a way that someone tired of cupcakes could escape them. If. Only. There. Were. A. Way.
2012-12-26 12:17:18 AM  
7 votes:
Replacing the gluten in cupcakes with sriracha?  Brilliant!
2012-12-25 11:54:03 PM  
6 votes:

vossiewulf: This is true, those Tolkien cookbooks were getting annoying.


There's only so much you can do with a brace of coneys.
2012-12-26 09:42:48 AM  
5 votes:
Screw you all. I just survived a PWT Christmas in Vermont.
Farking dried out cookies made with margarine, not butter.
Farking banana bread made with farking canola oil.
farking green bean farking casserole made with Campbell's cream of farking mushroom soup. Yes, with the farking bagged fried some-such-shiat crumbled on top. (I didn't ask, that's like asking for the recipe or inviting them to make that green vomit like product again)
Farking thin as water gravy made from pan drippings because even though we are an hour south of Quebec, no one here can consider a proper roux.
Overfarking cooked ham and turkey that is drier than death valley in farking august.
Farking "Fudge" with god-know-what in it, but must contain chopped, bitter walnuts. God fordbid anyone ever roast a farking nut, it might steal heat from the hearth.
Some kind of god-awful "broccoli salad" made with hard, unblanched chunks of broccoli and some Kraft brand ranch farking barf dressing.
Turnips. That's right. Farking MASHED FARKING TURNIPS. And sqash. and farking hounds ear pickles. (Think of slimy, pickled, green oysters, but larger than oysters, and packed with enough powdered farking clove to kill your taste buds for a week.
Oh, and did I mention I got a farking bag of Checks, party mix? Oh it's a special farking recipe, alright. Apparently, you take salted peanuts, salted pretzels, and presalted chex from the boxes at the dollar store, and add onion SALT, and garlic SALT, Then powdered garlic. (perfect gift for a guy who grows and braids his own hybrid garlics)
Mashed potatoes ( don't' ask how you can fark those up, but apparently a woman can spend years perfecting farked up mashed potatoes)
And then there was desert. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm. Nothign says cheescake like ignoring the recipe and using Cream cheese, Cool Whip, and powdered jello for coloring.
Dont' forget the non dairy "whip" toppings for the overcooked pumkin pie with the overcooked crust that could choke a mastiff.

Now, when I get done dry-heaving this farking crap up, (it's not getting near my bunghole) I'm going to visit a nice, Asian place and have a quiet, 5 course meal with no booger eating little shaits running around and no people in sweat pants all dressed up for farking dinner.

And if they have some of that farking cock sauce on the table, I might just try it.
2012-12-26 06:40:21 AM  
5 votes:
I was at a restaurant eating some pizza. I asked if they had any hot sauce. A friend of mine that worked there asked if I wanted Tobasco or Sriracha. I said "Srirach-what?". He brought me the bottle...

Remember in Lord of The Rings when Gandolf pulled out his staff and hit King Théoden in the head and took him out of his near-dead state? Yeah, eating that pizza was a lot like that. I went from chewing on a pizza in a zombie-like haze to riding a tidal wave of rainbows on a surfboard made of fallen foes.

Never talk shiat on one of the greatest condiments ever. I will farking cut you.
2012-12-25 11:59:41 PM  
5 votes:
Ah, Buzzfeed. So hip, so happening, so in your face. If only everyone could be that cool.
2012-12-26 12:34:48 AM  
4 votes:
You can have my sriracha when you pry it from my cold dead hands,
2012-12-26 01:43:22 AM  
3 votes:

ReapTheChaos: Why does she act as if Jello shots are some new fad?


Because she just heard of them.

Next year it will be about how Fondue is so played.
2012-12-26 12:37:09 AM  
3 votes:

Pocket Ninja: If only there were a way that someone tired of cupcakes could escape them. If. Only. There. Were. A. Way.


I have a cupcake cannon. There is no escape.
2012-12-26 12:13:23 AM  
3 votes:
You're all a bunch of big fat fatties. Fatty.
2012-12-25 11:45:46 PM  
3 votes:
This is true, those Tolkien cookbooks were getting annoying.
2012-12-26 02:20:48 AM  
2 votes:
media.unboundedition.com
2012-12-26 12:52:45 AM  
2 votes:

Cuchulane: Bacon's not on the list? Bacon is utterly played out.


Bacon is dead they say... LONG LIVE BACON

/Keith Moon drum roll
2012-12-26 12:15:02 AM  
2 votes:
Wow. Now that I RTFA, the writer can go to hell and die too. Just because you don't enjoy food as much as the rest of us doesn't mean you have to get all butthurt about it. Don't worry... the Olive garden still serves your bottomless bowl of Italian Wedding Soup.
2012-12-26 11:38:03 AM  
1 vote:

Gough: Shadowknight: WhippingBoy: Gough: Lenny_da_Hog: Gough: For every 10 patients that I've had tell me they have a gluten allergy, at least 8 of them tell me that a doctor never actually diagnosed them with it and based it off of vague, internet symptoms like "feeling kind of fatigued," "blotchy skin," or my favorite "exceedinl thin or thick finger and toenails."

In short, they're full of shiat.

Trust me, if you've been in a house-full of celiacs who have been inadvertently been fed a meal with gluten in it, they're no longer full of shiat.

/PS They're not self-diagnosed.
//WebMD must be the bane of medical professionals.


No, I know real celiacs have severe issues. I'd put it up there with peanut allergies. But it's the folks suffering from Googleitus that you have to hate.

And yeah, WebMD is a great resource. Hell, I use their free Medscape app on my tablet and iPod frequently as a portable drug reference and interaction checker. But for folks who are not very smart or easily fooled, or into holistic bullshiat (redundant?) it can make the lives of myself and my fellow health care folks very frustrating. An educated patient is great, but anytime a patient comes in "knowing" that they are smarter than us in medical matters, whether it be holistic belief, Wikipedia-based knowledge, or plain old stubbornness, we have issues.

Example, a recent conversation with a guy who just came into the ER:

"No, sir, the saline I just pumped into you is not aggravating your gout."

-Well, you know it has salt in it, right?-

"Yes, I know it has salt in it, but that's not why your foot hurts."

-Well smart guy, why don't YOU tell me why my foot hurts, since you're such an expert on my body and I don't know what I'm talking about?-

"It's because you're a non compliant diabetic that refuses to stop eating his old diet like we've advised for the last year, and it looks as if part of your toe is necrotic. The saline was because you didn't know your insulin dosage, so while we looked up your medical history we tried to bring your blood sugar down from 400+ to a normal level so you stopped passing out, which is why your wife brought you in here in the first place."

-Son, I'm 58 years old. I think I know what gout feels like by now.-

________________________________________

He had three toes amputated a few days later.
2012-12-26 11:12:31 AM  
1 vote:
Why wasn't bacon on this list?
2012-12-26 10:54:23 AM  
1 vote:

trappedspirit: Olive Garden actually serves piles of fecal matter strained through used tampons with chunks of medical waste.


Yeah, but the portions are big, so you really get your money's worth.
2012-12-26 10:48:37 AM  
1 vote:

Lenny_da_Hog: Gough: That does raise the question of why the Fark french fries would have gluten (malt flavoring or maltodextrin) added to them.

Let's put it this way: With the minute percentage of people suffering from celiac disease, a company does not put a wavy multi-colored "Gluten-Free!" banner with a font as big as the brand name, taking up 1/4 of the real estate on the front of the package, to appeal to celiacs.


Recent estimates for celiac and non-celiac gluten sensitivity: 7-10% of the population in the US.
2012-12-26 10:39:55 AM  
1 vote:
Severe food allergies are a message from God. Sort of like a "recall" notice, if you will.

Why do some people refuse to take the hint? You're just not meant to be here.
2012-12-26 10:14:13 AM  
1 vote:

Cuchulane: Bacon's not on the list? Bacon is utterly played out. How about going back to a couple of slices with breakfast occasionally? Denny's Baconalia was the tipping point.


So ban hi cap assault bacon?
2012-12-26 10:00:37 AM  
1 vote:

Mid_mo_mad_man: Would buying Kona coffee from Hawaii be ok or is it not snobby enough?


Having a grow closet in your house and having the cops raid it because the drug dogs will hit on the scent of coffee and having them find you hydroponically grow your own farking hybrid beans is snobby enough.
2012-12-26 09:56:20 AM  
1 vote:
Sriracha makes Red Baron pizza edible.
2012-12-26 09:51:17 AM  
1 vote:

vudukungfu: Screw you all. I just survived a PWT Christmas in Vermont.
Farking dried out cookies made with margarine, not butter.
Farking banana bread made with farking canola oil.
farking green bean farking casserole made with Campbell's cream of farking mushroom soup. Yes, with the farking bagged fried some-such-shiat crumbled on top. (I didn't ask, that's like asking for the recipe or inviting them to make that green vomit like product again)
Farking thin as water gravy made from pan drippings because even though we are an hour south of Quebec, no one here can consider a proper roux.
Overfarking cooked ham and turkey that is drier than death valley in farking august.
Farking "Fudge" with god-know-what in it, but must contain chopped, bitter walnuts. God fordbid anyone ever roast a farking nut, it might steal heat from the hearth.
Some kind of god-awful "broccoli salad" made with hard, unblanched chunks of broccoli and some Kraft brand ranch farking barf dressing.
Turnips. That's right. Farking MASHED FARKING TURNIPS. And sqash. and farking hounds ear pickles. (Think of slimy, pickled, green oysters, but larger than oysters, and packed with enough powdered farking clove to kill your taste buds for a week.
Oh, and did I mention I got a farking bag of Checks, party mix? Oh it's a special farking recipe, alright. Apparently, you take salted peanuts, salted pretzels, and presalted chex from the boxes at the dollar store, and add onion SALT, and garlic SALT, Then powdered garlic. (perfect gift for a guy who grows and braids his own hybrid garlics)
Mashed potatoes ( don't' ask how you can fark those up, but apparently a woman can spend years perfecting farked up mashed potatoes)
And then there was desert. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm. Nothign says cheescake like ignoring the recipe and using Cream cheese, Cool Whip, and powdered jello for coloring.
Dont' forget the non dairy "whip" toppings for the overcooked pumkin pie with the overcooked crust that could choke a mastiff.

Now, when I get done dry-heaving this farking crap up, (it's not getting near my bunghole) I'm going to visit a nice, Asian place and have a quiet, 5 course meal with no booger eating little shaits running around and no people in sweat pants all dressed up for farking dinner.

And if they have some of that farking cock sauce on the table, I might just try it.


betting.betfair.com
2012-12-26 08:26:33 AM  
1 vote:
s3.amazonaws.com

Fark sriracha. Right in it's firery bung hole.
2012-12-26 08:03:46 AM  
1 vote:
And when will this go back to being just another shiatty beer?

www.brinkleys.org
2012-12-26 06:21:10 AM  
1 vote:

zephman: Honestly I could give a shiat about other people liking something I've been into for years, unlike most of the hipster douche bags who populate my world.


You DO realize that by bragging about it to total strangers, and at the same time claiming to not care about what they think.... AND by saying you "have been into for years"... you are pretty much a cliche hipster. You're just missing the brush off that we've probably not heard of it yet. X-D
But the irony of your brag to us total strangers about not caring what strangers think of you is just OHHH so tasty... it nears Sriracha levels. ;-p
2012-12-26 06:11:24 AM  
1 vote:

Shadowknight:
As far as awesome rants go, this one was pretty awesome.


Thank you. I edited out all the hate that came out as typos.
2012-12-26 05:58:01 AM  
1 vote:
Rant:
The War on Gluten. I don't have a problem with him calling it a trend, I don't disagree that people eliminating gluten just because it's totally awesome for you is idiotic. I have a problem with these people trying to have a conversation with me about how awesome it is I follow a gluten free diet when I get to the checkout line.

I have a gluten intolerance. It's a medical condition, NOT A farkING HOBBY. What the hell is wrong with you people? Do you walk up to people in wheelchairs and go "This arm workout is awesome!"

No, I don't think it's great. No, I'm not doing it to get away from the corporate fatcats. No, I don't think gluten is why you have acne. I think it's the goddamn 2 pound brick of organic dark chocolate you're buying you fat, stupid hippie.
/Rant

//Also, I hate EarthFare.
2012-12-26 05:35:41 AM  
1 vote:

SockMonkeyHolocaust: The Oatmeal's mercenary pandering to the LOL INTERNET HOW WACKY, too-old for Hot Topic people is like the Fedex Arrow- once you see it you can't unsee it.


my god...it's full of stars...
2012-12-26 05:06:56 AM  
1 vote:
I like pickled kale in Sirachi
2012-12-26 04:12:56 AM  
1 vote:
Why did cupcakes become trendy anyway?  Why couldn't bacon double cheeseburgers have become trendy?  Then we could have bacon double cheeseburger ATMs and bacon double cheeseburger trucks and bacon double cheeseburger birthday parties.

Basically, from now on any time a foodie mentions cupcakes replace it with bacon double cheeseburgers.

'MURICA.
2012-12-26 02:47:48 AM  
1 vote:
Chipotle.
2012-12-26 02:22:58 AM  
1 vote:
also, The Oatmeal is going to be proud that someone at buzzfeed is annoyed.
2012-12-26 12:53:04 AM  
1 vote:
In my opinion, the rising problem people are having with gluten is the rise of genetically modified gluten. Stick to oatmeal, folks. Oatmeal is impossible to genetically modify.
2012-12-26 12:32:04 AM  
1 vote:
I will not rest until Cupcake Wars is no longer broadcast and Joe Biden is Guy Fieri's sidekick on Triple D.
2012-12-26 12:03:23 AM  
1 vote:
You go to hell, subby. You go to hell, and you die!
2012-12-25 11:50:11 PM  
1 vote:
Jell-O Shots

I don't think I've ever seen anyone doing these outside of a frat party.
2012-12-25 11:41:42 PM  
1 vote:
What do you have against the cock sauce?
 
Displayed 38 of 38 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report