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(Telegraph)   If you're cheating on your spouse and you don't want to get caught, be extra careful today   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 23
    More: Interesting, Christmas Day, peak time  
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20978 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Dec 2012 at 10:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-25 10:57:27 AM
13 votes:
To avoid suspicion, I just text pics of my junk to everyone.
2012-12-25 11:53:17 AM
6 votes:
Whenever I'm out with friends, my wife usually send me a text telling me not to sleep with any sluts. I always tell her they will be fine, upstanding, Christian women.
2012-12-25 10:59:15 AM
5 votes:
This thread should be epic, a bunch of guys who can't get one woman pointing and laughing at guys who get caught trying to keep 2.
2012-12-25 11:27:57 AM
4 votes:

MorteDiem: I bought a girlfriend a Victorias Secret gift certificate one Christmas.
Then my wife wondered why I kept getting Victorias Secret catalogs in the mail.
I blamed it on signing up for a few free magazines online.

/no longer have the girlfriend, the wife or money


forums.allkpop.com
2012-12-25 01:39:19 PM
2 votes:
There was an airline in the early 70's that f'd up big time. A promotion was run for business class tickets where it was a buy one/get one free assuming the wives would be taken with on a business trip. What was awesome in the history of failed promotions was sending a "thank you" card a couple of weeks after the trip was made addressed to the wife saying that they hoped that she enjoyed the trip.
2012-12-25 12:42:37 PM
2 votes:

quartercomma: true story--a prof at a big time college did the 'reply all' thing to his grad student mistress, and instead of telling her that his wife was out of town and to get ready for sweaty sexytime he told the entire faculty and student body


Wait, why was she CCing the entire campus on her message? Sounds like someone noticed his "reply all" habit and decided to work it into her revenge plans.

FROM:    a*stu­d­ent[nospam-﹫-backwards]eg­e­llo­c*edu
TO:      p­rof­ess­o­r*c­ox­ma­n­[nospam-﹫-backwards]e­ge­llo­c*edu
CC:      everybody.list
SUBJ:    meeting

Dear Professor Coxman,

What will be the subject of our review session that you've scheduled for your house at 8:00 tonight?

Professionally,
Your graduate student

=========

FROM:    p­rof­ess­o­r*c­ox­ma­n­[nospam-﹫-backwards]e­ge­llo­c*edu
TO:      [reply-all]
SUBJ:    RE: meeting

The subject will be your spankable little ass, my dear! And you've been a very naughty pupil and will need many spankings tonight, ho ho! Seriously, though, you're going to want to bring Astroglide.

=========

FROM:    d­ea­n­*worme­r­[nospam-﹫-backwards]egello­c­*e­du
TO:      p­rof­ess­o­r*c­ox­ma­n­[nospam-﹫-backwards]e­ge­llo­c*edu
SUBJ:    RE: RE: meeting

Cox-MAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!

2012-12-25 12:16:09 PM
2 votes:
How time marches on.

Back in my day the only thing you'd have to worry about was the dreaded 'reply all' mistake (true story--a prof at a big time college did the 'reply all' thing to his grad student mistress, and instead of telling her that his wife was out of town and to get ready for sweaty sexytime he told the entire faculty and student body) heh heh.
2012-12-25 11:46:51 AM
2 votes:
My wife asked for my mistress' phone number in case of emergency.
My wife is cool.
2012-12-25 11:34:10 AM
2 votes:
I find that it's easier to not cheat and just be miserable. At least this way, I know that I can keep my money. And, maybe I can buy a wave runner. People that have those are always happy.
2012-12-25 11:15:09 AM
2 votes:
I bought a girlfriend a Victorias Secret gift certificate one Christmas.
Then my wife wondered why I kept getting Victorias Secret catalogs in the mail.
I blamed it on signing up for a few free magazines online.

/no longer have the girlfriend, the wife or money
2012-12-25 10:49:07 AM
2 votes:
Thats why I use the Blackberry to communicate with the mistress, and the iPhone with the wife.

/Tell the wife the 'berry is for work.
2012-12-25 10:47:50 AM
2 votes:
As someone who cleaned out their text history before getting in the car today, I'm getting a kick
2012-12-25 03:01:31 PM
1 votes:

Whenever I'm out with friends, my wife usually send me a text telling me not to sleep with any sluts. I always tell her they will be fine, upstanding, Christian women.




One of my co-workers was a fundie. His 20% salary contributions kept the church open. While driving the family to a new job over Xmas break, she waited until they were in Colorado to break the news to him that she had gotten onto a "dating site" and had slept with 50+ guys while he was away for three months. He turned the car around and dropped her off at her parent's home, stating why. I gave him his old job back while they worked things out, but what I will never forget is the anguish in his voice as he said to me "I could handle the golf pro, the (fireman)? but a lawyer?

2012-12-25 12:54:51 PM
1 votes:
www.dudelol.com

Long Live the King
2012-12-25 12:06:14 PM
1 votes:
Being single as the result of a breakup that happened after my girlfriend (she's the one who introduced me to Fark) started cheating on me days before Christmas last year, I wish cheaters nothing but heartache and misery in 2013!
2012-12-25 11:56:11 AM
1 votes:

Amos Quito: To avoid suspicion, I just text pics of my junk to everyone.


And I wish you'd stop already.
2012-12-25 11:51:25 AM
1 votes:
Having a mistress is easy. Try having 2 girlfriends, each one thinking they are the only one. Holidays are a mess. Birthday is worse.

/wasn't me; watched a friend do it
//he lasted 10 months
///waaaay too much work
2012-12-25 11:34:38 AM
1 votes:

Amos Quito: To avoid suspicion, I just text pics of my junk to everyone.


brilliant!
2012-12-25 11:03:23 AM
1 votes:

gadian: I've seen people get caught more by buying gifts other people weren't supposed to find out about. I knew one dumbass that left his gifts for his other wife in the trunk of the first wife's car and another who left receipts laying around.


Or, ordering something online, and the company calls you at home.
"Hi! This is Mary from Victoria's Secret. For being such a frequent customer, we'd like to offer you..."

oops
2012-12-25 11:01:51 AM
1 votes:

Amos Quito: To avoid suspicion, I just text pics of my junk to everyone.


So, you're the one I have on text block. Nice to meet you.
2012-12-25 11:00:48 AM
1 votes:
FTFA:It is meant to be a time of peace and love. But Christmas Day has become the day of the year when unfaithful husbands are most likely to be caught out, according to one of Britain's top divorce lawyers.

and:

But the other thing we find a lot is that there are a lot of text message 'bustings' on Christmas Day, usually because the husband leaves the phone around and the mistress is sending messages.

also:

Husbands will go off and call the mistress and then the wife will wonder where they were or who they were calling, they will either find the number on there or the text message.
It's interesting to note that wives in England don't cheat on their husbands.
2012-12-25 10:54:36 AM
1 votes:
I've seen people get caught more by buying gifts other people weren't supposed to find out about. I knew one dumbass that left his gifts for his other wife in the trunk of the first wife's car and another who left receipts laying around.
2012-12-25 10:51:36 AM
1 votes:
Just finger bang your messages in morse code.
 
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