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(Telegraph)   If you're cheating on your spouse and you don't want to get caught, be extra careful today   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 84
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20977 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Dec 2012 at 10:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-25 05:01:55 PM
Why bring all this complication into your lives?

Seriously, if my husband farked around on me, I would just spend my life plastering that batches face all over the known world. It's not slander when they really are home wrecking whores. I'd get an auto wrap declaring myself jilted in her favor with her full name and picture on it. I'd get a billboard. He'd lose his job so fast...
 
2012-12-25 05:15:10 PM

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Got caught by modern technology and being lazy. Against all odds, she took me back.

Having cell phone/email and cheating on your spouse means sleeping with one eye open.


No kidding! The bf caught me while I was out with the master because the bf's Macbook (which had run out of battery and I had put away) still had me logged in on Facebook, where the messages between me and the master planning our sexytime were clearly visible. I had totally forgot that a Mac is NOT a PC and when you plug it in after it looses power it turns on like it was in sleep mode instead of rebooting the entire thing.

Needless to say, I had a lot of damage control to deal with when I got home. Surprisingly, he still kept me and promised to work harder to afford fancy dinners so I wouldn't have to go out with the master anymore.

/Dumped the master.
//Faithful to bf ever since.
 
2012-12-25 05:29:47 PM
You cheated on your boyfriend because he wasn't spending enough money on you?
 
2012-12-25 05:37:44 PM
Yeah, it's a little awkward having her sister here today too.
 
2012-12-25 05:48:09 PM
This would have been more help Monday before the text rolled in.
 
2012-12-25 05:50:30 PM

bronyaur1: I have a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught when I cheat on my wife.

I don't cheat.


My wife and I figured out a sure fire way to avoid this too...

zoice.com

/Warning! Swinging is not for everyone
 
2012-12-25 05:57:34 PM

Ordinary Genius: I find that it's easier to not cheat and just be miserable. At least this way, I know that I can keep my money. And, maybe I can buy a wave runner. People that have those are always happy.


Meh. Dated the same woman for 7+ years.

(Yeah, I'm a moron...)

Just married her, and I'm SOOOOO glad I waited to make sure she was the one for me.

/still can't figure out what she sees in me
 
2012-12-25 06:23:02 PM

illannoyin: bronyaur1: I have a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught when I cheat on my wife.

I don't cheat.

My wife and I figured out a sure fire way to avoid this too...

[zoice.com image 475x596]

/Warning! Swinging is not for everyone


The whole thing is that "cheating" is contextual. If you are honest and open about it and are not misrepresenting yourselves nor going outside of one anothers' boundaries, then more power to you.

Everyone has different sensibilities and boundaries.

Essentially, what I was saying before in my comment was "be honest". If you have feelings for somebody, but your sensibilities and boundaries are completely different, be adult enough to let that person go instead of basing your entire relationship on lies. Being upfront will stop a lot of hurt and heartache later on.

I was hurt because my ex-girlfriend and I had incompatible sensibilities and boundaries. She misrepresented herself and was dishonest in the beginning because that dishonesty was a means to an end. All in all, we both feel like we got burned badly, but it all could have been avoided with honesty upfront on her part, when, instead, she offered up things out of guilt that I didn't want. I wanted her, or more accurately, who I thought she was. She wanted safety and security, and I was ultimately some byproduct who she had to put up with.
 
2012-12-25 06:50:42 PM

ng2810: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Got caught by modern technology and being lazy. Against all odds, she took me back.

Having cell phone/email and cheating on your spouse means sleeping with one eye open.

No kidding! The bf caught me while I was out with the master because the bf's Macbook (which had run out of battery and I had put away) still had me logged in on Facebook, where the messages between me and the master planning our sexytime were clearly visible. I had totally forgot that a Mac is NOT a PC and when you plug it in after it looses power it turns on like it was in sleep mode instead of rebooting the entire thing.

Needless to say, I had a lot of damage control to deal with when I got home. Surprisingly, he still kept me and promised to work harder to afford fancy dinners so I wouldn't have to go out with the master anymore.

/Dumped the master.
//Faithful to bf ever since.


What a sucker.
 
2012-12-25 06:53:57 PM
That was my personal thought as well, but to each his own.

He knew the truth and made the decision. If it happens again, he knew the past, so it shouldn't come as much of a surprise.
 
2012-12-25 07:14:12 PM
Oddly, it marked the beginning of my reconciliation with my estranged spouse. We spent time together for the kids.
 
2012-12-25 08:12:45 PM

lack of warmth: Ordinary Genius: I find that it's easier to not cheat and just be miserable. At least this way, I know that I can keep my money. And, maybe I can buy a wave runner. People that have those are always happy.

I am hoping for an ATV myself. I want something I can ride year round.


Lbfms fill the bill nicely
 
2012-12-25 08:17:06 PM

ng2810: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Got caught by modern technology and being lazy. Against all odds, she took me back.

Having cell phone/email and cheating on your spouse means sleeping with one eye open.

No kidding! The bf caught me while I was out with the master because the bf's Macbook (which had run out of battery and I had put away) still had me logged in on Facebook, where the messages between me and the master planning our sexytime were clearly visible. I had totally forgot that a Mac is NOT a PC and when you plug it in after it looses power it turns on like it was in sleep mode instead of rebooting the entire thing.

Needless to say, I had a lot of damage control to deal with when I got home. Surprisingly, he still kept me and promised to work harder to afford fancy dinners so I wouldn't have to go out with the master anymore.

/Dumped the master.
//Faithful to bf ever since.


What kind of person do you call Master? Some limp wristed purse carrier? I've lost more respect for your calling some chump you play with your master than for being a whore for the price of nice wine. Master means something to some people around here, and you are an insult to BDSM.
 
2012-12-25 08:32:25 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-25 08:40:47 PM
This article is about England and the idiots over there. We here in the good ol' U.S. of A know better so the article really is nothing more than just something for us to pass the time reading while we're busy taking the Browns to the Superbowl
 
2012-12-25 09:10:58 PM
In the Dominican Republic it is illegal to look at another person's cellphone.
 
2012-12-25 09:18:50 PM
wave runners are gay and after, 10 minutes, not fun, unless you're jumping huge waves. Buy a 4 wheeler, you can use it all year long.
 
2012-12-25 10:16:10 PM

laid back w/bud light: wave runners are gay and after, 10 minutes, not fun, unless you're jumping huge waves. Buy a 4 wheeler, you can use it all year long.


Based on your username, I'm inclined to think you know what you're talking about here.
 
2012-12-25 11:22:26 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: If you suspect your SO is cheating, then he/she probably is, and has been for a while.

I knew someone who suspected his fiance of cheating, and he was telling me about his keyloggers that record everything typed on a computer, and I was like "Dude, its over. If you're seriously thinking about buying one of those, you already have your answer."


Suspicion of cheating does not necessarily mean the other party is cheating. Sometimes dudes are insecure and/or generally paranoid. Either way, the relationship is doomed, even if there's no cheating occurring.
 
2012-12-26 12:02:18 AM

Bronzemom: This would have been more help Monday before the text rolled in.


Well? Spill it!
 
2012-12-26 01:40:10 AM

ng2810: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Got caught by modern technology and being lazy. Against all odds, she took me back.

Having cell phone/email and cheating on your spouse means sleeping with one eye open.

No kidding! The bf caught me while I was out with the master because the bf's Macbook (which had run out of battery and I had put away) still had me logged in on Facebook, where the messages between me and the master planning our sexytime were clearly visible. I had totally forgot that a Mac is NOT a PC and when you plug it in after it looses power it turns on like it was in sleep mode instead of rebooting the entire thing.

Needless to say, I had a lot of damage control to deal with when I got home. Surprisingly, he still kept me and promised to work harder to afford fancy dinners so I wouldn't have to go out with the master anymore.

/Dumped the master.
//Faithful to bf ever since.


Gross.

So you're a troll or a whore. Tough choice.
 
2012-12-26 02:20:22 AM
I just busted my dirtbag a month ago ex via phone messages coming in at 3am, after which I thought I would see who teh fark is messaging him at this time. Conversation history revealed it was the same person he asked over to his place two days earlier. He had the gall to deny it and say it was a "misunderstanding", then tried to flip it and reverse it by saying I cheated on him (never happened), then slapped me in the face after an argument. Farking duplicitous douche, I hope he had a long, lonely life.

/yay for vitriol.
 
2012-12-26 02:22:17 AM
*has* a long lonely life.

And gets penile cancer.

/whar preview, whar??
 
2012-12-26 05:46:58 AM
You know, he can get penile cancer in jail, too.

Did you go a round with the slut? Call her out or denounce her?
 
2012-12-26 06:10:08 AM

bronyaur1: I have a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught when I cheat on my wife.

I don't cheat.


I went the other way. I don't have a wife.
 
2012-12-26 08:52:09 AM

NannyStatePark: What kind of person do you call Master?


missiongeek.com
 
2012-12-26 09:54:16 AM

NannyStatePark: Why bring all this complication into your lives?

Seriously, if my husband farked around on me, I would just spend my life plastering that batches face all over the known world. It's not slander when they really are home wrecking whores. I'd get an auto wrap declaring myself jilted in her favor with her full name and picture on it. I'd get a billboard. He'd lose his job so fast...



Would you leave a boiled bunny head in his kitchen?
 
2012-12-26 12:26:24 PM
Naw, that would just make me look crazy, now, wouldn't it?

/hell hath NO fury like a woman scorned
 
2012-12-26 12:27:31 PM

EyeballKid: NannyStatePark: What kind of person do you call Master?

[missiongeek.com image 600x300]


LMAO
 
2012-12-26 12:32:18 PM
Had sort of the opposite thing happen to me a couple years ago; came home from work to an extremely upset wife who asked me if I had "anything I wanted to tell her"...I hadn't done so much as left the toilet seat up in quite some while, so I was genuinely at a loss over what she might be talking about. She played me a message on our answering machine that had been recorded about 1:00 that morning (apparently the phone hadn't woken either of us up), a nervous-sounding woman saying "[Loaf], it's Ellen, call me." I don't know any Ellen and had no idea what that call could possibly about, and I told my wife it must be a wrong number; she started getting mad at this point because the thought I was lying - "THEN HOW DOES SHE KNOW YOUR NAME?!" "She must have looked it up or something" (we have an EXTREMELY common last name, I've been mistaken for other people that way before). "WHY IN THE HELL WOULD SHE BE CALLING AT 1 IN THE MORNING AND WHISPERING?" (it sounded more to me like it was an older woman with a low, crackly voice than a whisper, but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea). "OK, let's call back the number on the call ID". No answer. Argue some more, try calling again - no answer. Keep fighting, call a third time - FINALLY get ahold of some guy who explains that the woman was someone who cleans houses for people and was having trouble finding an address, so she got a number from directory assistance for the guy she was supposed to be meeting up with (who had the same name as me, and lived in my city). I had this entire discussion on speakerphone with my wife right there (honestly, even the "real" story here is a bit hard to believe - who the hell is out cleaning houses at 1 AM?)...I actually got an "I'm sorry" BJ out of the deal, but I still worry when I think about what might have happened if I hadn't eventually gotten ahold of somebody at that number...
 
2012-12-26 04:39:33 PM

Loaf's Tray: Had sort of the opposite thing happen to me a couple years ago; came home from work to an extremely upset wife who asked me if I had "anything I wanted to tell her"...I hadn't done so much as left the toilet seat up in quite some while, so I was genuinely at a loss over what she might be talking about. She played me a message on our answering machine that had been recorded about 1:00 that morning (apparently the phone hadn't woken either of us up), a nervous-sounding woman saying "[Loaf], it's Ellen, call me." I don't know any Ellen and had no idea what that call could possibly about, and I told my wife it must be a wrong number; she started getting mad at this point because the thought I was lying - "THEN HOW DOES SHE KNOW YOUR NAME?!" "She must have looked it up or something" (we have an EXTREMELY common last name, I've been mistaken for other people that way before). "WHY IN THE HELL WOULD SHE BE CALLING AT 1 IN THE MORNING AND WHISPERING?" (it sounded more to me like it was an older woman with a low, crackly voice than a whisper, but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea). "OK, let's call back the number on the call ID". No answer. Argue some more, try calling again - no answer. Keep fighting, call a third time - FINALLY get ahold of some guy who explains that the woman was someone who cleans houses for people and was having trouble finding an address, so she got a number from directory assistance for the guy she was supposed to be meeting up with (who had the same name as me, and lived in my city). I had this entire discussion on speakerphone with my wife right there (honestly, even the "real" story here is a bit hard to believe - who the hell is out cleaning houses at 1 AM?)...I actually got an "I'm sorry" BJ out of the deal, but I still worry when I think about what might have happened if I hadn't eventually gotten ahold of somebody at that number...


I believe you. I've had weird crap like that happen. One time some dude gave out my cell number thinking it was his own, and tried to buy a truck and rent an apartment. Hilarity ensued. I don't know if he was stealing the truck or they just couldn't call him to finish the papers, but I ended up on the horn with ten different dudes, including a detective, and one chick over the deal. Luckily Mr. Park knew the contacts on my phone were all about the truck dude.
 
2012-12-26 05:03:26 PM

Loaf's Tray: .I actually got an "I'm sorry" BJ out of the deal, but I still worry when I think about what might have happened if I hadn't eventually gotten ahold of somebody at that number.


My advice to you, sir -- have a (platonic) lady friend call in again with the same setup. An "I'm sorry" BJ is not to be lightly dismissed.
 
2012-12-26 05:46:17 PM

illannoyin: bronyaur1: I have a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught when I cheat on my wife.

I don't cheat.

My wife and I figured out a sure fire way to avoid this too...

[zoice.com image 475x596]

/Warning! Swinging is not for everyone


Cheating is lying. I can't lie to my best friend. There are mutually beneficial ways to deal with...er um, situations.
 
2012-12-27 02:54:37 AM

namtok_muu: /yay for vitriol.


Yay for namtok muu, the best Isaan dish ever!
/with sticky rice in a basket....
 
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