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(Telegraph)   If you're cheating on your spouse and you don't want to get caught, be extra careful today   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 84
    More: Interesting, Christmas Day, peak time  
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20979 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Dec 2012 at 10:41 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-25 10:47:50 AM  
As someone who cleaned out their text history before getting in the car today, I'm getting a kick
 
2012-12-25 10:49:07 AM  
Thats why I use the Blackberry to communicate with the mistress, and the iPhone with the wife.

/Tell the wife the 'berry is for work.
 
2012-12-25 10:49:18 AM  
If ya can't keep yer pants on at least keep yer fone off.
 
2012-12-25 10:51:36 AM  
Just finger bang your messages in morse code.
 
2012-12-25 10:54:36 AM  
I've seen people get caught more by buying gifts other people weren't supposed to find out about. I knew one dumbass that left his gifts for his other wife in the trunk of the first wife's car and another who left receipts laying around.
 
2012-12-25 10:57:27 AM  
To avoid suspicion, I just text pics of my junk to everyone.
 
2012-12-25 10:59:15 AM  
This thread should be epic, a bunch of guys who can't get one woman pointing and laughing at guys who get caught trying to keep 2.
 
2012-12-25 11:00:48 AM  
FTFA:It is meant to be a time of peace and love. But Christmas Day has become the day of the year when unfaithful husbands are most likely to be caught out, according to one of Britain's top divorce lawyers.

and:

But the other thing we find a lot is that there are a lot of text message 'bustings' on Christmas Day, usually because the husband leaves the phone around and the mistress is sending messages.

also:

Husbands will go off and call the mistress and then the wife will wonder where they were or who they were calling, they will either find the number on there or the text message.
It's interesting to note that wives in England don't cheat on their husbands.
 
2012-12-25 11:01:51 AM  

Amos Quito: To avoid suspicion, I just text pics of my junk to everyone.


So, you're the one I have on text block. Nice to meet you.
 
2012-12-25 11:03:23 AM  

gadian: I've seen people get caught more by buying gifts other people weren't supposed to find out about. I knew one dumbass that left his gifts for his other wife in the trunk of the first wife's car and another who left receipts laying around.


Or, ordering something online, and the company calls you at home.
"Hi! This is Mary from Victoria's Secret. For being such a frequent customer, we'd like to offer you..."

oops
 
2012-12-25 11:03:40 AM  

Gotfire: Just finger bang your messages in morse code.


southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com
Approves.
 
2012-12-25 11:12:11 AM  

Lar Jorgen: It's interesting to note that wives in England don't get caught cheating on their husbands.



Subtle difference.
 
2012-12-25 11:14:00 AM  

Digitalstrange: This thread should be epic, a bunch of guys who can't get one woman pointing and laughing at guys who get caught trying to keep 2.


If you do not want it, what's she doing in your home?
Wanting two or more is like slamming your hand in the car door.
 
2012-12-25 11:15:09 AM  
I bought a girlfriend a Victorias Secret gift certificate one Christmas.
Then my wife wondered why I kept getting Victorias Secret catalogs in the mail.
I blamed it on signing up for a few free magazines online.

/no longer have the girlfriend, the wife or money
 
2012-12-25 11:25:25 AM  

Petit_Merdeux: Lar Jorgen: It's interesting to note that wives in England don't get caught cheating on their husbands.


Subtle difference.


Good point!
 
2012-12-25 11:27:57 AM  

MorteDiem: I bought a girlfriend a Victorias Secret gift certificate one Christmas.
Then my wife wondered why I kept getting Victorias Secret catalogs in the mail.
I blamed it on signing up for a few free magazines online.

/no longer have the girlfriend, the wife or money


forums.allkpop.com
 
2012-12-25 11:34:10 AM  
I find that it's easier to not cheat and just be miserable. At least this way, I know that I can keep my money. And, maybe I can buy a wave runner. People that have those are always happy.
 
2012-12-25 11:34:38 AM  

Amos Quito: To avoid suspicion, I just text pics of my junk to everyone.


brilliant!
 
2012-12-25 11:41:15 AM  

gadian: I've seen people get caught more by buying gifts other people weren't supposed to find out about. I knew one dumbass that left his gifts for his other wife in the trunk of the first wife's car and another who left receipts laying around.


Utah?
 
2012-12-25 11:46:51 AM  
My wife asked for my mistress' phone number in case of emergency.
My wife is cool.
 
2012-12-25 11:48:30 AM  
I don't send text messages, but I do receive them. No biatch better let me catch her snoopin' in my business!!
 
2012-12-25 11:51:25 AM  
Having a mistress is easy. Try having 2 girlfriends, each one thinking they are the only one. Holidays are a mess. Birthday is worse.

/wasn't me; watched a friend do it
//he lasted 10 months
///waaaay too much work
 
2012-12-25 11:53:17 AM  
Whenever I'm out with friends, my wife usually send me a text telling me not to sleep with any sluts. I always tell her they will be fine, upstanding, Christian women.
 
2012-12-25 11:56:11 AM  

Amos Quito: To avoid suspicion, I just text pics of my junk to everyone.


And I wish you'd stop already.
 
2012-12-25 12:04:26 PM  

sloshed_again: Digitalstrange: This thread should be epic, a bunch of guys who can't get one woman pointing and laughing at guys who get caught trying to keep 2.

If you do not want it, what's she doing in your home?
Wanting two or more is like slamming your hand in the car door.


Way to assume. I am not married currently and never cheated on my wife while I was. Cheated once in my life on a girlfriend who had already cheated on me. As you can imagine it wasn't a healthy relationship.
 
2012-12-25 12:06:14 PM  
Being single as the result of a breakup that happened after my girlfriend (she's the one who introduced me to Fark) started cheating on me days before Christmas last year, I wish cheaters nothing but heartache and misery in 2013!
 
2012-12-25 12:16:09 PM  
How time marches on.

Back in my day the only thing you'd have to worry about was the dreaded 'reply all' mistake (true story--a prof at a big time college did the 'reply all' thing to his grad student mistress, and instead of telling her that his wife was out of town and to get ready for sweaty sexytime he told the entire faculty and student body) heh heh.
 
2012-12-25 12:22:28 PM  

jayphat: As someone who cleaned out their text history before getting in the car today, I'm getting a kick


Deleting them from your phone doesn't delete them from the phone company's records. FYI.
 
2012-12-25 12:27:40 PM  

StopLurkListen: jayphat: As someone who cleaned out their text history before getting in the car today, I'm getting a kick

Deleting them from your phone doesn't delete them from the phone company's records. FYI.


True. But the evidence needs a subpoena or third party request to be obtained.
 
2012-12-25 12:42:37 PM  

quartercomma: true story--a prof at a big time college did the 'reply all' thing to his grad student mistress, and instead of telling her that his wife was out of town and to get ready for sweaty sexytime he told the entire faculty and student body


Wait, why was she CCing the entire campus on her message? Sounds like someone noticed his "reply all" habit and decided to work it into her revenge plans.

FROM:    a*stud­ent[nospam-﹫-backwards]eg­e­lloc­*edu
TO:      p­ro­fesso­r*co­x­man­[nospam-﹫-backwards]e­g­ell­oc*edu
CC:      everybody.list
SUBJ:    meeting

Dear Professor Coxman,

What will be the subject of our review session that you've scheduled for your house at 8:00 tonight?

Professionally,
Your graduate student

=========

FROM:    p­ro­fesso­r*co­x­man­[nospam-﹫-backwards]e­g­ell­oc*edu
TO:      [reply-all]
SUBJ:    RE: meeting

The subject will be your spankable little ass, my dear! And you've been a very naughty pupil and will need many spankings tonight, ho ho! Seriously, though, you're going to want to bring Astroglide.

=========

FROM:    de­an­*w­orm­er­[nospam-﹫-backwards]e­ge­ll­o­c*edu
TO:      p­ro­fesso­r*co­x­man­[nospam-﹫-backwards]e­g­ell­oc*edu
SUBJ:    RE: RE: meeting

Cox-MAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!

 
2012-12-25 12:49:37 PM  
My ex-girlfriend said that it would be okay to have sex with other people, which only made me suspicious. I came to find out after we broke up that, before our relationship, she was a cum dumpster who took money for sex. So, my guess is that she felt so guilty about lying to me about her past and deciding that she couldn't have sex with me that she thought this would make up for it.

I'm glad we didn't end up married.

To me, any type of misrepresentation is wrong. Don't just get into a situation that will hurt another because it's "comfortable" to you. Move past being a five year-old maturity-wise and be honest with other people in your relationships or don't have them.

/Merry Christmas
 
2012-12-25 12:53:14 PM  
This is why I made sure my wife and girlfriend knew each other and liked each other in bed.
 
2012-12-25 12:54:51 PM  
www.dudelol.com

Long Live the King
 
2012-12-25 01:23:39 PM  
Crap, now I'm kinda nervous. I don't *think* my gf will try texting me, but if she does, it could end up ruining Christmas for the kids. Better "misplace" my phone for the day.
 
2012-12-25 01:26:00 PM  

Ordinary Genius: I find that it's easier to not cheat and just be miserable. At least this way, I know that I can keep my money. And, maybe I can buy a wave runner. People that have those are always happy.


I am hoping for an ATV myself. I want something I can ride year round.
 
2012-12-25 01:39:19 PM  
There was an airline in the early 70's that f'd up big time. A promotion was run for business class tickets where it was a buy one/get one free assuming the wives would be taken with on a business trip. What was awesome in the history of failed promotions was sending a "thank you" card a couple of weeks after the trip was made addressed to the wife saying that they hoped that she enjoyed the trip.
 
2012-12-25 01:46:53 PM  

The Green Intern: This is why I made sure my wife and girlfriend knew each other and liked each other in bed.


That works til the family of either of them wants to come over for holiday dinner or something.
 
2012-12-25 01:56:31 PM  

Digitalstrange: This thread should be epic, a bunch of guys who can't get one woman pointing and laughing at guys who get caught trying to keep 2.


I've got a woman, at least until we're done, then I get to throw her back. It's a thing.
 
2012-12-25 02:03:21 PM  
I would never, ever, have to worry about those four fights. They're for richers who have nothing better to fight about.

Now, anybody trying to eat both crusty ends of the meat loaf, without me having at least 1 of them, that there's an ass whoopin.
 
2012-12-25 02:12:25 PM  

Tumunga: I would never, ever, have to worry about those four fights.


I think you want this thread:

http://www.fark.com/comments/7503247/Four-common-holiday-fights-how-y o u-can-avoid-them-Or-start-them-if-Christmas-has-gotten-dull-no-one-has -found-Baileys-Because-its-not-Christmas-until-someone-leaves-in-tears

(Wow, Fark comment links can be long).

This thread... well, I think it speaks for itself.
 
2012-12-25 02:32:30 PM  
Whenever I'm out with friends, my wife usually send me a text telling me not to sleep with any sluts. I always tell her they will be fine, upstanding, Christian women.

I'm stealing this.
 
2012-12-25 03:01:31 PM  

Whenever I'm out with friends, my wife usually send me a text telling me not to sleep with any sluts. I always tell her they will be fine, upstanding, Christian women.




One of my co-workers was a fundie. His 20% salary contributions kept the church open. While driving the family to a new job over Xmas break, she waited until they were in Colorado to break the news to him that she had gotten onto a "dating site" and had slept with 50+ guys while he was away for three months. He turned the car around and dropped her off at her parent's home, stating why. I gave him his old job back while they worked things out, but what I will never forget is the anguish in his voice as he said to me "I could handle the golf pro, the (fireman)? but a lawyer?

 
2012-12-25 03:09:29 PM  

exvaxman: One of my co-workers was a fundie. His 20% salary contributions kept the church open. While driving the family to a new job over Xmas break, she waited until they were in Colorado to break the news to him that she had gotten onto a "dating site" and had slept with 50+ guys while he was away for three months. He turned the car around and dropped her off at her parent's home, stating why. I gave him his old job back while they worked things out, but what I will never forget is the anguish in his voice as he said to me "I could handle the golf pro, the (fireman)? but a lawyer?


Jesus Christ. What an awful person.
 
2012-12-25 03:18:21 PM  
Most people cheat when they stop caring about their current relationship. They are just too chicken to end it until something else comes along. Their apathy along with laziness and stupidity is why they get caught.

I've got more respect for someone who cheats successfully than one who cheats and gets caught.

'How was I supposed to know that my girlfriend might look at my cell phone? I mean, I couldn't have seen that coming!'
 
2012-12-25 03:44:27 PM  
If you suspect your SO is cheating, then he/she probably is, and has been for a while.

I knew someone who suspected his fiance of cheating, and he was telling me about his keyloggers that record everything typed on a computer, and I was like "Dude, its over. If you're seriously thinking about buying one of those, you already have your answer."
 
2012-12-25 03:46:25 PM  
I have a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught when I cheat on my wife.

I don't cheat.
 
2012-12-25 03:49:19 PM  

LDM90: MorteDiem: I bought a girlfriend a Victorias Secret gift certificate one Christmas.
Then my wife wondered why I kept getting Victorias Secret catalogs in the mail.
I blamed it on signing up for a few free magazines online.

/no longer have the girlfriend, the wife or money

[forums.allkpop.com image 453x378]


I was going to go for the who Nelson from the Simpson's "Haa haaa!" bit, but that works great too.
 
2012-12-25 03:57:52 PM  

KiwDaWabbit: My ex-girlfriend said that it would be okay to have sex with other people, which only made me suspicious. I came to find out after we broke up that, before our relationship, she was a cum dumpster who took money for sex. So, my guess is that she felt so guilty about lying to me about her past and deciding that she couldn't have sex with me that she thought this would make up for it.

I'm glad we didn't end up married.

To me, any type of misrepresentation is wrong. Don't just get into a situation that will hurt another because it's "comfortable" to you. Move past being a five year-old maturity-wise and be honest with other people in your relationships or don't have them.

/Merry Christmas


You sound like a the best kind of person in real life.
 
2012-12-25 04:06:51 PM  
I never said that I was perfect or even a good person.

However, if a person goes around doing shiatty things to people, hurting them deeply, and always having the excuse "gee, I'm only human", then, yeah, I have a problem with that.
 
2012-12-25 04:50:49 PM  
Got caught by modern technology and being lazy. Against all odds, she took me back.

Having cell phone/email and cheating on your spouse means sleeping with one eye open.
 
2012-12-25 05:01:55 PM  
Why bring all this complication into your lives?

Seriously, if my husband farked around on me, I would just spend my life plastering that batches face all over the known world. It's not slander when they really are home wrecking whores. I'd get an auto wrap declaring myself jilted in her favor with her full name and picture on it. I'd get a billboard. He'd lose his job so fast...
 
2012-12-25 05:15:10 PM  

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Got caught by modern technology and being lazy. Against all odds, she took me back.

Having cell phone/email and cheating on your spouse means sleeping with one eye open.


No kidding! The bf caught me while I was out with the master because the bf's Macbook (which had run out of battery and I had put away) still had me logged in on Facebook, where the messages between me and the master planning our sexytime were clearly visible. I had totally forgot that a Mac is NOT a PC and when you plug it in after it looses power it turns on like it was in sleep mode instead of rebooting the entire thing.

Needless to say, I had a lot of damage control to deal with when I got home. Surprisingly, he still kept me and promised to work harder to afford fancy dinners so I wouldn't have to go out with the master anymore.

/Dumped the master.
//Faithful to bf ever since.
 
2012-12-25 05:29:47 PM  
You cheated on your boyfriend because he wasn't spending enough money on you?
 
2012-12-25 05:37:44 PM  
Yeah, it's a little awkward having her sister here today too.
 
2012-12-25 05:48:09 PM  
This would have been more help Monday before the text rolled in.
 
2012-12-25 05:50:30 PM  

bronyaur1: I have a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught when I cheat on my wife.

I don't cheat.


My wife and I figured out a sure fire way to avoid this too...

zoice.com

/Warning! Swinging is not for everyone
 
2012-12-25 05:57:34 PM  

Ordinary Genius: I find that it's easier to not cheat and just be miserable. At least this way, I know that I can keep my money. And, maybe I can buy a wave runner. People that have those are always happy.


Meh. Dated the same woman for 7+ years.

(Yeah, I'm a moron...)

Just married her, and I'm SOOOOO glad I waited to make sure she was the one for me.

/still can't figure out what she sees in me
 
2012-12-25 06:23:02 PM  

illannoyin: bronyaur1: I have a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught when I cheat on my wife.

I don't cheat.

My wife and I figured out a sure fire way to avoid this too...

[zoice.com image 475x596]

/Warning! Swinging is not for everyone


The whole thing is that "cheating" is contextual. If you are honest and open about it and are not misrepresenting yourselves nor going outside of one anothers' boundaries, then more power to you.

Everyone has different sensibilities and boundaries.

Essentially, what I was saying before in my comment was "be honest". If you have feelings for somebody, but your sensibilities and boundaries are completely different, be adult enough to let that person go instead of basing your entire relationship on lies. Being upfront will stop a lot of hurt and heartache later on.

I was hurt because my ex-girlfriend and I had incompatible sensibilities and boundaries. She misrepresented herself and was dishonest in the beginning because that dishonesty was a means to an end. All in all, we both feel like we got burned badly, but it all could have been avoided with honesty upfront on her part, when, instead, she offered up things out of guilt that I didn't want. I wanted her, or more accurately, who I thought she was. She wanted safety and security, and I was ultimately some byproduct who she had to put up with.
 
2012-12-25 06:50:42 PM  

ng2810: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Got caught by modern technology and being lazy. Against all odds, she took me back.

Having cell phone/email and cheating on your spouse means sleeping with one eye open.

No kidding! The bf caught me while I was out with the master because the bf's Macbook (which had run out of battery and I had put away) still had me logged in on Facebook, where the messages between me and the master planning our sexytime were clearly visible. I had totally forgot that a Mac is NOT a PC and when you plug it in after it looses power it turns on like it was in sleep mode instead of rebooting the entire thing.

Needless to say, I had a lot of damage control to deal with when I got home. Surprisingly, he still kept me and promised to work harder to afford fancy dinners so I wouldn't have to go out with the master anymore.

/Dumped the master.
//Faithful to bf ever since.


What a sucker.
 
2012-12-25 06:53:57 PM  
That was my personal thought as well, but to each his own.

He knew the truth and made the decision. If it happens again, he knew the past, so it shouldn't come as much of a surprise.
 
2012-12-25 07:14:12 PM  
Oddly, it marked the beginning of my reconciliation with my estranged spouse. We spent time together for the kids.
 
2012-12-25 08:12:45 PM  

lack of warmth: Ordinary Genius: I find that it's easier to not cheat and just be miserable. At least this way, I know that I can keep my money. And, maybe I can buy a wave runner. People that have those are always happy.

I am hoping for an ATV myself. I want something I can ride year round.


Lbfms fill the bill nicely
 
2012-12-25 08:17:06 PM  

ng2810: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Got caught by modern technology and being lazy. Against all odds, she took me back.

Having cell phone/email and cheating on your spouse means sleeping with one eye open.

No kidding! The bf caught me while I was out with the master because the bf's Macbook (which had run out of battery and I had put away) still had me logged in on Facebook, where the messages between me and the master planning our sexytime were clearly visible. I had totally forgot that a Mac is NOT a PC and when you plug it in after it looses power it turns on like it was in sleep mode instead of rebooting the entire thing.

Needless to say, I had a lot of damage control to deal with when I got home. Surprisingly, he still kept me and promised to work harder to afford fancy dinners so I wouldn't have to go out with the master anymore.

/Dumped the master.
//Faithful to bf ever since.


What kind of person do you call Master? Some limp wristed purse carrier? I've lost more respect for your calling some chump you play with your master than for being a whore for the price of nice wine. Master means something to some people around here, and you are an insult to BDSM.
 
2012-12-25 08:32:25 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-25 08:40:47 PM  
This article is about England and the idiots over there. We here in the good ol' U.S. of A know better so the article really is nothing more than just something for us to pass the time reading while we're busy taking the Browns to the Superbowl
 
2012-12-25 09:10:58 PM  
In the Dominican Republic it is illegal to look at another person's cellphone.
 
2012-12-25 09:18:50 PM  
wave runners are gay and after, 10 minutes, not fun, unless you're jumping huge waves. Buy a 4 wheeler, you can use it all year long.
 
2012-12-25 10:16:10 PM  

laid back w/bud light: wave runners are gay and after, 10 minutes, not fun, unless you're jumping huge waves. Buy a 4 wheeler, you can use it all year long.


Based on your username, I'm inclined to think you know what you're talking about here.
 
2012-12-25 11:22:26 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: If you suspect your SO is cheating, then he/she probably is, and has been for a while.

I knew someone who suspected his fiance of cheating, and he was telling me about his keyloggers that record everything typed on a computer, and I was like "Dude, its over. If you're seriously thinking about buying one of those, you already have your answer."


Suspicion of cheating does not necessarily mean the other party is cheating. Sometimes dudes are insecure and/or generally paranoid. Either way, the relationship is doomed, even if there's no cheating occurring.
 
2012-12-26 12:02:18 AM  

Bronzemom: This would have been more help Monday before the text rolled in.


Well? Spill it!
 
2012-12-26 01:40:10 AM  

ng2810: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Got caught by modern technology and being lazy. Against all odds, she took me back.

Having cell phone/email and cheating on your spouse means sleeping with one eye open.

No kidding! The bf caught me while I was out with the master because the bf's Macbook (which had run out of battery and I had put away) still had me logged in on Facebook, where the messages between me and the master planning our sexytime were clearly visible. I had totally forgot that a Mac is NOT a PC and when you plug it in after it looses power it turns on like it was in sleep mode instead of rebooting the entire thing.

Needless to say, I had a lot of damage control to deal with when I got home. Surprisingly, he still kept me and promised to work harder to afford fancy dinners so I wouldn't have to go out with the master anymore.

/Dumped the master.
//Faithful to bf ever since.


Gross.

So you're a troll or a whore. Tough choice.
 
2012-12-26 02:20:22 AM  
I just busted my dirtbag a month ago ex via phone messages coming in at 3am, after which I thought I would see who teh fark is messaging him at this time. Conversation history revealed it was the same person he asked over to his place two days earlier. He had the gall to deny it and say it was a "misunderstanding", then tried to flip it and reverse it by saying I cheated on him (never happened), then slapped me in the face after an argument. Farking duplicitous douche, I hope he had a long, lonely life.

/yay for vitriol.
 
2012-12-26 02:22:17 AM  
*has* a long lonely life.

And gets penile cancer.

/whar preview, whar??
 
2012-12-26 05:46:58 AM  
You know, he can get penile cancer in jail, too.

Did you go a round with the slut? Call her out or denounce her?
 
2012-12-26 06:10:08 AM  

bronyaur1: I have a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught when I cheat on my wife.

I don't cheat.


I went the other way. I don't have a wife.
 
2012-12-26 08:52:09 AM  

NannyStatePark: What kind of person do you call Master?


missiongeek.com
 
2012-12-26 09:54:16 AM  

NannyStatePark: Why bring all this complication into your lives?

Seriously, if my husband farked around on me, I would just spend my life plastering that batches face all over the known world. It's not slander when they really are home wrecking whores. I'd get an auto wrap declaring myself jilted in her favor with her full name and picture on it. I'd get a billboard. He'd lose his job so fast...



Would you leave a boiled bunny head in his kitchen?
 
2012-12-26 12:26:24 PM  
Naw, that would just make me look crazy, now, wouldn't it?

/hell hath NO fury like a woman scorned
 
2012-12-26 12:27:31 PM  

EyeballKid: NannyStatePark: What kind of person do you call Master?

[missiongeek.com image 600x300]


LMAO
 
2012-12-26 12:32:18 PM  
Had sort of the opposite thing happen to me a couple years ago; came home from work to an extremely upset wife who asked me if I had "anything I wanted to tell her"...I hadn't done so much as left the toilet seat up in quite some while, so I was genuinely at a loss over what she might be talking about. She played me a message on our answering machine that had been recorded about 1:00 that morning (apparently the phone hadn't woken either of us up), a nervous-sounding woman saying "[Loaf], it's Ellen, call me." I don't know any Ellen and had no idea what that call could possibly about, and I told my wife it must be a wrong number; she started getting mad at this point because the thought I was lying - "THEN HOW DOES SHE KNOW YOUR NAME?!" "She must have looked it up or something" (we have an EXTREMELY common last name, I've been mistaken for other people that way before). "WHY IN THE HELL WOULD SHE BE CALLING AT 1 IN THE MORNING AND WHISPERING?" (it sounded more to me like it was an older woman with a low, crackly voice than a whisper, but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea). "OK, let's call back the number on the call ID". No answer. Argue some more, try calling again - no answer. Keep fighting, call a third time - FINALLY get ahold of some guy who explains that the woman was someone who cleans houses for people and was having trouble finding an address, so she got a number from directory assistance for the guy she was supposed to be meeting up with (who had the same name as me, and lived in my city). I had this entire discussion on speakerphone with my wife right there (honestly, even the "real" story here is a bit hard to believe - who the hell is out cleaning houses at 1 AM?)...I actually got an "I'm sorry" BJ out of the deal, but I still worry when I think about what might have happened if I hadn't eventually gotten ahold of somebody at that number...
 
2012-12-26 04:39:33 PM  

Loaf's Tray: Had sort of the opposite thing happen to me a couple years ago; came home from work to an extremely upset wife who asked me if I had "anything I wanted to tell her"...I hadn't done so much as left the toilet seat up in quite some while, so I was genuinely at a loss over what she might be talking about. She played me a message on our answering machine that had been recorded about 1:00 that morning (apparently the phone hadn't woken either of us up), a nervous-sounding woman saying "[Loaf], it's Ellen, call me." I don't know any Ellen and had no idea what that call could possibly about, and I told my wife it must be a wrong number; she started getting mad at this point because the thought I was lying - "THEN HOW DOES SHE KNOW YOUR NAME?!" "She must have looked it up or something" (we have an EXTREMELY common last name, I've been mistaken for other people that way before). "WHY IN THE HELL WOULD SHE BE CALLING AT 1 IN THE MORNING AND WHISPERING?" (it sounded more to me like it was an older woman with a low, crackly voice than a whisper, but my wife wouldn't entertain the idea). "OK, let's call back the number on the call ID". No answer. Argue some more, try calling again - no answer. Keep fighting, call a third time - FINALLY get ahold of some guy who explains that the woman was someone who cleans houses for people and was having trouble finding an address, so she got a number from directory assistance for the guy she was supposed to be meeting up with (who had the same name as me, and lived in my city). I had this entire discussion on speakerphone with my wife right there (honestly, even the "real" story here is a bit hard to believe - who the hell is out cleaning houses at 1 AM?)...I actually got an "I'm sorry" BJ out of the deal, but I still worry when I think about what might have happened if I hadn't eventually gotten ahold of somebody at that number...


I believe you. I've had weird crap like that happen. One time some dude gave out my cell number thinking it was his own, and tried to buy a truck and rent an apartment. Hilarity ensued. I don't know if he was stealing the truck or they just couldn't call him to finish the papers, but I ended up on the horn with ten different dudes, including a detective, and one chick over the deal. Luckily Mr. Park knew the contacts on my phone were all about the truck dude.
 
2012-12-26 05:03:26 PM  

Loaf's Tray: .I actually got an "I'm sorry" BJ out of the deal, but I still worry when I think about what might have happened if I hadn't eventually gotten ahold of somebody at that number.


My advice to you, sir -- have a (platonic) lady friend call in again with the same setup. An "I'm sorry" BJ is not to be lightly dismissed.
 
2012-12-26 05:46:17 PM  

illannoyin: bronyaur1: I have a sure-fire way to avoid getting caught when I cheat on my wife.

I don't cheat.

My wife and I figured out a sure fire way to avoid this too...

[zoice.com image 475x596]

/Warning! Swinging is not for everyone


Cheating is lying. I can't lie to my best friend. There are mutually beneficial ways to deal with...er um, situations.
 
2012-12-27 02:54:37 AM  

namtok_muu: /yay for vitriol.


Yay for namtok muu, the best Isaan dish ever!
/with sticky rice in a basket....
 
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