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(Business Insider)   Microsoft patents technology that lets you hug someone over the internet using a robotic pillow. Subby is pretty sure that this new technology will end up going way beyond "hugging"   (businessinsider.com) divider line 63
    More: Interesting, Microsoft, whiteboard, emoticons, plain  
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2607 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Dec 2012 at 6:36 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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Archived thread
 
2012-12-24 02:14:49 PM  
Screw hugging.  Can it play the choking game?
 
2012-12-24 02:33:04 PM  
static.tvfanatic.com

Leonard:  When I was ten years old, I made myself a hugging machine.

Penny:  A hugging machine?

Leonard:  Yeah. I got a dressmaker's mannequin, I stuffed it with an electric blanket so I would be warm, and built two radio-controlled arms that would hug me and pat me on the back.

Penny:  That is so sad.

Leonard:  You know what the saddest part was?

Penny:  What?

Leonard:  My father used to borrow it.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-12-24 03:19:44 PM  
It could make for awesome prank calls.
 
2012-12-24 03:22:11 PM  
www.the-games-blog.com
 
2012-12-24 03:28:23 PM  
2nd most popular application.  Boobies!

i234.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-24 03:29:58 PM  

theewhiterhino: 2nd most popular application.  Boobies!

[i234.photobucket.com image 328x287]


Seriously.  Wire this tech up to a Real Doll.
 
2012-12-24 03:44:43 PM  
you soon may be able to send them a hug or a hearty handshake over the Internet.

How about a laurel?
 
2012-12-24 03:47:23 PM  

Sybarite: you soon may be able to send them a hug or a hearty handshake over the Internet.

How about a laurel?


i234.photobucket.com

While I still have the photobucket open.
 
2012-12-24 03:51:33 PM  

Sybarite: you soon may be able to send them a hug or a hearty handshake over the Internet.

How about a laurel?


Sybarite Johnson's right!
 
2012-12-24 04:33:53 PM  
There have been some amazing advances over the past few years in teledildonics.
 
2012-12-24 05:09:58 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Screw hugging.  Can it play the choking game?


images.wikia.com
/oblig
 
2012-12-24 05:15:07 PM  
A tugging pillow?

/YES!
 
2012-12-24 06:26:27 PM  
Next phase:

i5.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-24 06:40:11 PM  
All pillows will be sold in pairs.
 
2012-12-24 06:43:23 PM  
So Microsoft invented the internet accessible hugbox (nsfw)?

/Yes dramatica is still alive
 
2012-12-24 06:43:39 PM  
www.dilbert.com

//Sooo hot
 
2012-12-24 06:45:58 PM  
Internet Accu-jack..
 
2012-12-24 06:46:16 PM  

the_colors: Next phase:

[i5.photobucket.com image 330x396]


fleshpillow
 
2012-12-24 06:50:45 PM  

the_colors: Next phase:

[i5.photobucket.com image 330x396]


www.mercyjohnson.com
 
2012-12-24 06:54:21 PM  
Coming soon... batteries not included.

www.artwithbyte.com
 
2012-12-24 06:56:23 PM  
Well, there it is. The singularity. Time to give up, we're all doomed.
Where's Kwame? Isn't he the expert round these parts?

/pting
 
2012-12-24 06:57:43 PM  
stonedlizard.com
 
2012-12-24 07:00:24 PM  
Will it come with an oxytocin injector to replicate the chemical response of embracing real living flesh?
 
2012-12-24 07:05:33 PM  
At around twelve years old I fell in love with my pillow.I would hug it 8,9,10 times a night.Ahaaaa,my first love,so many decades gone.
 
2012-12-24 07:06:30 PM  
They've got tricycles in skirts
This is a mouth that needs religion
 
2012-12-24 07:06:35 PM  
If it can make me breakfast in the morning, then leave and never talk to me again I'll buy four right now!
 
2012-12-24 07:08:10 PM  
Hugging? Didn't Microsoft learn anything from 'squirting' from your Zune?
 
2012-12-24 07:09:25 PM  
To robot-hug
 
2012-12-24 07:22:44 PM  
I'll wait for the basic pleasure model.
www.hotflick.net
 
2012-12-24 07:23:13 PM  
Anyone know how to attach a dick to a pillow?
 
2012-12-24 07:29:24 PM  
i.ytimg.com
 
2012-12-24 07:31:37 PM  
Subby is pretty sure that this new technology will end up going way beyond "hugging"

My guess is "smothering".
 
2012-12-24 07:31:41 PM  
There was a man from Racine
Who invented a hugging machine.
Both concave and convex,
It could serve either sex.
Entertaining itself in between.

/My fav limerick adapted.
//It fits so good
 
2012-12-24 07:39:51 PM  
 
2012-12-24 07:47:58 PM  
It's the Molest-o-Matic 3000. Recommended by teachers, priests, and guys with 70s era mustaches
 
2012-12-24 07:53:47 PM  
Shhhh.... it's ok... just hugging you

www.horrorphile.net
 
2012-12-24 07:56:11 PM  
Pillows that give oral up next

a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

but do they swallow?
 
2012-12-24 07:57:38 PM  

StrikitRich: Hugging? Didn't Microsoft learn anything from 'squirting' from your Zune?


Yeah, they learned having a 52-year-old market executive choose the name a function of wireless file transfer solely based on what the study group of upper-middle-class college students picked as the best word without context as to why it was picked, will further bury the chances of your "iPod killer" actually killing an iPod. (That and releasing an overpriced product way too long after Apple moved on to bigger and better things.)
 
2012-12-24 08:02:53 PM  
So Microsoft patented a device that was invented in Japan 5 years ago? Cool.

I'm off to patent the question mark.
 
2012-12-24 08:10:22 PM  

dofus: Anyone know how to attach a dick to a pillow?


A Pildo? I think it's been done.
 
2012-12-24 08:11:48 PM  
What really bothers me is that in the "Recommended For You" section, the first entry is "A Brutal Gang Rape In Delhi Has Shaken India To The Core".

It's like Business Insider has access to my porn folder.
 
2012-12-24 08:17:26 PM  
www.gozergames.com
 
2012-12-24 08:19:42 PM  
MicroPat softens technology.
 
2012-12-24 08:23:47 PM  

Nina Haagen Dazs: dofus: Anyone know how to attach a dick to a pillow?

A Pildo? I think it's been done.


I've seen them attached to bouncy exercise balls. I'd post a pic but I don't want to risk the banhammer. Not on Christmas.
 
2012-12-24 08:30:22 PM  
ninjamonkey.us
 
2012-12-24 08:44:10 PM  

Glendale: [ninjamonkey.us image 500x375]


So you've met my ex-wife?
 
2012-12-24 08:49:28 PM  
Pillow fight
 
2012-12-24 08:49:46 PM  
starworksny.com

Approves.
 
2012-12-24 09:13:10 PM  
i759.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-24 09:15:43 PM  

Brick-House: Pillows that give oral up next

[a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x450]

but do they swallow?


Do they need to? Just don't use one made from down. It gets clumpy.

/my friend told me.
 
2012-12-24 09:20:58 PM  

Tumunga: Brick-House: Pillows that give oral up next

[a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com image 600x450]

but do they swallow?

Do they need to? Just don't use one made from down. It gets clumpy.

/my friend told me.


My friend told me it was you...

-Mom
 
2012-12-24 09:37:32 PM  
looks for ways to hook up his suck o matic to the computer port...hmmm

/any ideas?
 
2012-12-24 09:46:31 PM  
When I was in high school, we went to a dairy farm. Don't remember much of the trip, but when I saw them attach that milking device to the udders, well, damn. I thought of the fun I could have with that. I swear it was winking at me.

/bunk
 
2012-12-24 09:48:21 PM  

dofus: Anyone know how to attach a dick to a pillow?


Hose clamp?

/I'm guessing here.
 
2012-12-24 09:51:24 PM  

Summer Glau's Love Slave: dofus: Anyone know how to attach a dick to a pillow?

Hose clamp?

/I'm guessing here.


/try Hand
 
2012-12-24 09:52:26 PM  

Indubitably: Summer Glau's Love Slave: dofus: Anyone know how to attach a dick to a pillow?

Hose clamp?

/I'm guessing here.

/try Hand


//easy access and controlability
 
2012-12-24 09:54:26 PM  
So now I'm picturing one of those live webcam chat things, and there is this hot girl and she's holding a fleshlight like thing and moving it up and down, and there is a fleshlight on my penis and it's moving up and down, matched to her hand motions.

Yeah.
 
2012-12-24 09:57:46 PM  

Diogenes: theewhiterhino:

2nd most popular application.  Boobies!

[i234.photobucket.com image 328x287]

Seriously.  Wire this tech up to a Real Doll.


A fleshlight would be cheaper and easier to carry to work. USB maybe?
 
2012-12-24 10:58:02 PM  

Ryker's Peninsula: What really bothers me is that in the "Recommended For You" section, the first entry is "A Brutal Gang Rape In Delhi Has Shaken India To The Core".

It's like Business Insider has access to my porn folder.


Your porn folder contains pictures of a brutal gang rape in Delhi?
 
2012-12-24 11:02:58 PM  
Prior art from the late 90s: http://www.welookdoyou.com/fufme/index.shtml.html

For those who don't remember, CU-SeeMe was a popular video chat program at the time - hence FU-FMe.
 
2012-12-25 01:32:52 AM  
http://patft.uspto.gov/netacgi/nph-Parser?Sect1=PTO1&Sect2=HITOFF&d=PA LL&p=1&u=%2Fnetahtml%2FPTO%2Fsrchnum.htm&r=1&f=G&l=50&s1=8,332,755.PN. &OS=PN/8,332,755&RS=PN/8,332,755

I count no less than 3 clear examination errors in the independents, without even looking at prior art. With a US EFD of 2009, I could probably find a 102b within 4 hours, worst case a non-reversible 103 within a day.

It's also misclassified and should be in 709/205.

Oh PTO. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother doing a good job when people like this get paid the same or more to let shiat like this out the door.
 
2012-12-25 10:49:09 AM  
Just the tip.
 
2012-12-25 07:05:13 PM  
awesome i can now hug my friends remotely while working at McMurdo Station, Antarctica

haha just kidding i've never been to Antarctica
 
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