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(Fark)   Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contest, Round 4: September through November   (fark.com) divider line 48
    More: HOTY, pinball, threads, Contests  
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3903 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Dec 2012 at 4:51 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



48 Comments   (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Votes

Archived thread
 
2012-12-24 12:45:12 PM  
Hello and welcome to the fourth and final quarterfinals thread for Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contest. We've collected the best headlines from each month and let the Totalfarkers vote on their favorites. These are the 10 top-voted headlines from September through November of this year as voted. Now it's up to you: vote on your favorites, and the top five from this contest will make it to the final round later (probably Friday). There will also be a contest for each of the biggest subtabs later: sports, showbiz, geek, politics and business. The week after that we will have the voting threads for pun/wordplay headlines and the context headline of the year.

There are also some that you might not see here because either: 1) they've been moved to a separate contest, such as a context headline or one that's on a subtab, or 2) they didn't make it out of the voting threads in Totalfark. I'll link the redlit TF voting threads later on in this thread.

Please don't enable voting; the finalists for this period are set. Nothing wrong with sharing a favorite headline from this period, as long as you don't enable voting for it.

So enjoy these and vote for the ones you like.
 
2012-12-24 12:45:55 PM  
60 Spitfires . . . crated, hid . . . 70 years later . . . up for bid . . . -- Burma planes

http://www.fark.com/comments/7387459
 
2012-12-24 12:46:16 PM  
800 clowns gather in Mexico City for convention. Parking not a problem as they all arrived in one car

http://www.fark.com/comments/7402155
 
2012-12-24 12:46:40 PM  
9.3 million gallons of untreated sewage flow into Shingle Creek. That's a lot of shiat on a shingle

http://www.fark.com/comments/7415835
 
2012-12-24 12:47:07 PM  
Alzheimer's Walk set for Saturday. Search and rescue set for Sunday

http://www.fark.com/comments/7354019
 
2012-12-24 12:48:03 PM  
American Airlines has so many loose seats turning up that it's starting to resemble a Catholic boy's school

http://www.fark.com/comments/7360163
 
2012-12-24 12:48:21 PM  
As per her dying wish, man has wife's vagina carved on tombstone -- as cold and motionless as when she was alive

http://www.fark.com/comments/7401840
 
2012-12-24 12:49:18 PM  
Blackberry network down all over the Middle East. THIS IS AN OUTAGE

http://www.fark.com/comments/7340337
 
2012-12-24 12:49:50 PM  
Blind, deaf, 3-legged dog saves family from house fire, sure plays a mean pinball

http://www.fark.com/comments/7448009
 
2012-12-24 12:50:17 PM  
Body parts washing up on the beach are from a missing California hiker, which is why you don't go hiking in the ocean

http://www.fark.com/comments/7364690
 
2012-12-24 12:51:09 PM  
Boys sexually assaulted by women often overlooked, high-fived

http://www.fark.com/comments/7305032
 
2012-12-24 12:51:32 PM  
Colombia rejects FARC rebels calls for a ceasefire, a "Food" tab, and requests to go back to the pre-2007 site design

http://www.fark.com/comments/7313373
 
2012-12-24 12:52:10 PM  
Cougar enters home through dog door. In related news, your mom started drinking again

http://www.fark.com/comments/7454351
 
2012-12-24 12:52:36 PM  
Couple in their 90's who had been married 72 years die exactly one hour apart-which might have had less to do with true love and was more about that horrific car wreck they were both in

http://www.fark.com/comments/7409932
 
2012-12-24 12:53:04 PM  
Egyptian princess's tomb found near Cai...oh, wait, it's empty, and some dude wearing a mushroom is telling me she's in another pyramid

http://www.fark.com/comments/7415754
 
2012-12-24 12:53:42 PM  
If your boyfriend's idea of a makeup gift is 1.5 tons of hay he stole from a neighbor's field, you should probably consider baling

http://www.fark.com/comments/7328453
 
2012-12-24 12:54:04 PM  
Just like subby, Swedish farmer gets 3:00am text from cows in heat

http://www.fark.com/comments/7359290
 
2012-12-24 12:54:29 PM  
Larry Sloan, co-_________ of Mad Libs, _________ at age 89. He will be ___________

http://www.fark.com/comments/7385745
 
2012-12-24 12:54:56 PM  
Man gets six month prison term for insulting the fat, goat loving pedophile King of Bahrain

http://www.fark.com/comments/7416116
 
2012-12-24 12:55:46 PM  
Man rescues woman by pounding beaver with hard pole

http://www.fark.com/comments/7311513
 
2012-12-24 12:56:07 PM  
Meghan McCain says she's not voting with her vagina, presumably because the voting levers aren't placed low enough

http://www.fark.com/comments/7389771
 
2012-12-24 12:57:01 PM  
Menstrual cycle affects asthma, AMONG OTHER THINGS

http://www.fark.com/comments/7425999
 
2012-12-24 12:58:51 PM  
New museum exhibit of Frida Kahlo's wardrobe is sure to raise a few eyebrow

http://www.fark.com/comments/7455902
 
2012-12-24 12:59:10 PM  
New research discovers difference in visual acuity between men and women: men have greater sensitivity to fine detail and rapid movements, and women can see everything you ever did wrong

http://www.fark.com/comments/7307455
 
2012-12-24 12:59:49 PM  
Pakistani man dies from inhaling the fumes of burning US flags while at protest against freedom of speech. Give me irony or give me death

http://www.fark.com/comments/7332363
 
2012-12-24 01:00:17 PM  
Plane carrying trekkers crashes in Nepal, killing all 19 on board. Recovery team having difficulty because they were all wearing identical red shirts

http://www.fark.com/comments/7353224
 
2012-12-24 01:00:40 PM  
Poor grammer can effect you're career

http://www.fark.com/comments/7311069
 
2012-12-24 01:01:01 PM  
Researchers say shy fish have better survival odds -- not necessarily koi, just shy

http://www.fark.com/comments/7395895
 
2012-12-24 01:01:33 PM  
Steven Spielberg's "Lincoln" opens in theaters, despite the fact that Lincoln historically doesn't do well in theaters

http://www.fark.com/comments/7431428
 
2012-12-24 01:02:00 PM  
"Texas day care owner gets 80 years in fire that killed four kids". Seems a bit much, she'll probably burn to death in the first three or four minutes, anyway

http://www.fark.com/comments/7444250
 
2012-12-24 01:02:22 PM  
Vegetative patient clinically shown to be conscious after 12 years, has limited communication, given job greenlighting Fark links

http://www.fark.com/comments/7432261
 
2012-12-24 01:06:27 PM  
For reference, these are the links from the preliminary contests (TF-only):

September:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7470506

October:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7476966

November:  http://www.fark.com/comments/7479036
 
2012-12-24 01:10:06 PM  
There were also quite a few headlines that I enjoyed which didn't quite get enough votes to challenge this year, but I thought I'd share a few of my favorites with you:

Research reveals the more obese you are, the harder it is to get pregnant. Especially without any flour
http://www.fark.com/comments/7308413

Four out of 10 UK pupils fail new phonics test, according to the Worcestershire Institute
http://www.fark.com/comments/7350513

Megan Stammers f-f-f-found in France
http://www.fark.com/comments/7353214

Article on Michigan's "super drunks" includes high-score list. Life begins at 0.40
http://www.fark.com/comments/7322798

UK Treasury's Wheatley said to recommend regulation of Libor-Setters, legitimizing the breed
http://www.fark.com/comments/7348221

Teenagers attempt fake arrest scheme to steal Yu-Gi-Oh cards from Walmart, but store manager activates trap card in time to win the duel
http://www.fark.com/comments/7308340

Woman hits her boyfriend with car five times. Clearly, she had pent-up anger
http://www.fark.com/comments/7375748

College to offer "Reagan 101" class. In Reagan's honor, all homework to be completed on typewriters, as both Reagan and a Selectric had a semi-colon and no memory
http://www.fark.com/comments/7390520

Turns out Mars is warmer in winter than most of Canada. Scientists still puzzled by discovery of life in Canada
http://www.fark.com/comments/7359444

UNC drops the word "freshman" in favor of a more gender inclusive term. First year students will now be called "long term financially obligated clients"
http://www.fark.com/comments/7399991

Bubonic Plague discovered in California. Symptoms include fever, chills, swollen lymph nodes and the urge to be hurled over the wall of a medieval Russian city
http://www.fark.com/comments/7374117

Padma Lakshmi allows a fan to eat a piece of ham off her body for a $1000 charitable dona...This just in, several financial institutions have just closed due to an unexpected and massive bank run
http://www.fark.com/comments/7374632

People are having a hard time wrapping their heads around the whole California porn condom measure
http://www.fark.com/comments/7394402

Chicago Public Schools serving nachos with mouse droppings. Shocked officials trying to figure out how to classify them as a vegetable
http://www.fark.com/comments/7379200

Exotic dancer accused of human smuggling. Her really lumpy thong was a dead giveaway
http://www.fark.com/comments/7435930

Survivin_ _unman fr_m Mumbai terr_r attacks is han_ed in In_ian pris_n
http://www.fark.com/comments/7445162

Diamond formerly belonging to Austro-Hungarian archduke sells for $21.5 million at auction, shortly thereafter, it was fatally stabbed by a radical Serbian brooch
http://www.fark.com/comments/7433657

A rogue man-eating leopard has devoured 15 villagers in Nepal, is open to suggestions on closing out the meal with either tea, espresso or a port
http://www.fark.com/comments/7419770
 
2012-12-24 01:11:34 PM  
 
2012-12-24 01:17:58 PM  
What happened to December?
 
2012-12-24 01:22:32 PM  

tuffsnake: What happened to December?


Contests now run Dec - Nov so we can still finish this by the end of the year without robbing the December submitters.
 
2012-12-24 01:34:36 PM  
Have you done Q4 of the other tabs yet?
 
2012-12-24 01:37:16 PM  
March - May had the best headlines. Guessing the winner comes out of that bunch.

Of the finalists, Missing Algebra teacher and Triple AAAl-Queda are probably the funniest from this year.
 
2012-12-24 01:46:19 PM  

Unfreakable: tuffsnake: What happened to December?

Contests now run Dec - Nov so we can still finish this by the end of the year without robbing the December submitters.


Ah gotcha, that makes sense
 
2012-12-24 02:15:58 PM  

CraicBaby: Have you done Q4 of the other tabs yet?


Going to try to blast through them today, but my wife is giving me the evil eye for doing it on Christmas Eve.
 
2012-12-24 03:41:43 PM  

Unfreakable: CraicBaby: Have you done Q4 of the other tabs yet?

Going to try to blast through them today, but my wife is giving me the evil eye for doing it on Christmas Eve.


I'm sure it's a labor of love.
 
2012-12-24 04:16:21 PM  

Unfreakable: CraicBaby: Have you done Q4 of the other tabs yet?

Going to try to blast through them today, but my wife is giving me the evil eye for doing it on Christmas Eve.


Well, on behalf of all of Fark, I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.
 
2012-12-24 04:23:59 PM  

Unfreakable: CraicBaby: Have you done Q4 of the other tabs yet?

Going to try to blast through them today, but my wife is giving me the evil eye for doing it on Christmas Eve.


Thanks, T-Dawg :) I just wanted to make sure I didn't somehow miss it.
 
2012-12-24 04:39:35 PM  

King Something: Unfreakable: CraicBaby: Have you done Q4 of the other tabs yet?

Going to try to blast through them today, but my wife is giving me the evil eye for doing it on Christmas Eve.

Well, on behalf of all of Fark, I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.


At this point, it's looking unlikely. I'm doing the second part of it (first part is query the database and download all the results, second part is manually cutting and pasting all of those results into a document with the HTML code). The next part is uploading stuff from the document to individual threads, and each thread takes about 45 minutes to create. It's already 2:35 my time and I need to wrap Christmas gifts, so I'm going to be signing off for the day in a bit. I'll probably upload them Wednesday morning.
 
2012-12-24 04:53:23 PM  

Headline of the Year candidate: Cougar enters home through dog door. In related news, your mom started drinking again


Classic!
 
2012-12-24 06:53:10 PM  

Headline of the Year candidate: New research discovers difference in visual acuity between men and women: men have greater sensitivity to fine detail and rapid movements, and women can see everything you ever did wrong

http://www.fark.com/comments/7307455


The fact that this isn't doing better is proof that there aren't enough married male Farkers voting.
 
2012-12-25 08:57:26 AM  

doyner: http://www.fark.com/comments/7307455

The fact that this isn't doing better is proof that there aren't enough married male Farkers voting.


Are you kidding. All 32 of them already have along with another 130 of us divorced guys.
 
2012-12-25 09:25:11 AM  
And then it exploded!
 
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