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(Complex)   How to get drunk with your parents   (complex.com) divider line 66
    More: PSA, Grandma's, nuclear family  
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12052 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2012 at 1:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-23 07:30:54 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: drinking with parents is for people too gay to get stoned on their own time


pretty much done in one....... get the rentd's stoned....then have them pay for some quality liquid...
 
2012-12-23 07:39:40 PM  
Come up from basement.. Stumble, stumble... "AND ANOTHER THING", remember when you didn't buy me that GI-Joe kung fu grip? That's why I'm still here living in the basement.... pees in corner of kitchen, returns to basement...
 
2012-12-23 07:56:31 PM  
My mom doesn't drink and has never even sipped alcohol. My dad never has more than two beers in an evening and I've never seen him get a mixed drink. I never drank with my parents in high school or anything. As far as they knew I never touched alcohol until I turned 21 because I never got caught drinking unlike my idiot older sister.

I spent more time drinking with my friends parents in high school than I ever will with my parents the rest of my lifetime.
 
2012-12-23 08:13:27 PM  
I'm Irish. My mom has a fifth waiting for me in the freezer if I come home to visit.
 
2012-12-23 08:30:03 PM  
"All the beer ponging and keg standing you've done the last few semesters has not prepared you for the depths of drunkenness that decades of life's crushing disappointment has pushed your folks into. The best you can hope for is an Andrew Luck-level performance, as you're drinking with the Tom Brady and Peyton Manning of armchair chugging."

That quote alone makes this article worth a read.
 
2012-12-23 08:42:51 PM  

Honest Bender: Step 1: Drink alcohol at the same time as, and in the general vicinity of your parent(s).
Step 2: Repeat step 1.


you make it sound so easy.

My parents don't drink.


I are very drunk
 
2012-12-23 08:53:41 PM  
It'd be nice to have a drink with Dad. I guess next time I'm at my sisters house, I could put his box on the couch next to me.

Mom's a light weight, a glass of wine and she's looped.
 
2012-12-23 09:24:32 PM  
Having parents that drink makes this far to easy. Try being around parents and family members that don't drink so there isn't a drop of alcohol in the house unless you snuck it in. I cherish my few drinking holiday parties.
 
2012-12-23 10:02:29 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: drinking with parents is for people too gay to get stoned on their own time


Says you. Growing up in an alcohol fueled household I was tasked (as the youngest sibling) with fetching my dads cold beers from the Nordge in the basement. Then I had to entertain my father by struggling to perforate the can top with an opener, two holes, one for drinking and one for air pressure equalization. Pops found this amusing as I'm left handed and his IQ was so low he couldn't wrap his brain around anyone being able to deal with such a normal thing.

Dad was such a drunk that before long into the evening I would begin lightly shaking the can and directing the spray toward him. He found that amusing and never once objected, I have no idea why. I was made to sit quietly on the floor next to his comfortable chair and serve as a human version of a remote control. There were very few television channels from which to select in my youth and my father was thrilled to view anything, having grown up himself in the days of radio. After Mom left for bingo Dad was already two sheets to the wind and wouldn't notice that I was sipping my own coldie while I sat cross-legged on the cold hard floor.

By the time I was in seventh grade I would smoke a jay alongside the garage before going inside and sitting on the couch ( age has it's privileges ) where I would make snarky comments to my father which for the most part flew right over his head. In 8th grade I began dropping acid as i sat on the couch, letting the tiny stamp linger on my tongue while I watched my father beat the daylights out of his kidneys.

In my last year of HS I was 18 (my Mom chose to start me in school a year late, Lord knows why) I was legally able to drink. This kicked things up a notch as I'd get stoned with a buddy then we'd get drunk with dad at the kitchen table and play penny ante poker. My dad never experienced street drugs but his intake of cheap beer was simply legendary, by volume. Every year around this time my father would amass a stack of advertisement Calendars from assorted liquor stores which bordered on ridiculous.

The man never owned a new car, went on a go away vacation and we didn't have a properly working bathroom but beer was never in short supply. Everyone has their priorities.
 
2012-12-23 10:25:58 PM  

reddfrogg: I've never seen my parents drunk, and I have never been drunk either. I can't imagine why I'd ever want to.


I've rarely seen my parents sober in recent years. They're drunken behavior is so cringe inducing that it has greatly inhibited my desire to drink.
 
2012-12-23 10:35:58 PM  
what if you ARE the parents?

/feels old
//daughter has bottles of booze in her room
///feel kinda proud that she both has them and doesn't bother to drink them: popular enough to be given bottles of wine, sensible enough to save them. She's 16.
 
2012-12-23 10:52:57 PM  

StashMonster: what if you ARE the parents?

/feels old
//daughter has bottles of booze in her room
///feel kinda proud that she both has them and doesn't bother to drink them: popular enough to be given bottles of wine, sensible enough to save them. She's 16.


STASH MONSTERS' DAUGHTER :)
 
2012-12-24 12:27:29 PM  
*snort/giggle* I'm Irish and German, nether known for being alcohol-wallflowers.

The crew and I have a ladies night once a week. All my daughter wanted for her 18th b-day was to join in the crew, and she got her wish. Two months later and she waits til I'm fairly lit to dare me to get her an introduction to the head dancer at the club (burlesque, go-go). A year later, I get free drinks on my daughter's tab. This is their "pay", and since she's under 21 she can't drink. so I get the profits. A month back she did her first burlesque solo and brought the house down. What can I say? Oh yeah, lol. "I made that." Cheers.
 
2012-12-24 12:57:14 PM  

TaylorSalad: *snort/giggle* I'm Irish and German, nether known for being alcohol-wallflowers.

The crew and I have a ladies night once a week. All my daughter wanted for her 18th b-day was to join in the crew, and she got her wish. Two months later and she waits til I'm fairly lit to dare me to get her an introduction to the head dancer at the club (burlesque, go-go). A year later, I get free drinks on my daughter's tab. This is their "pay", and since she's under 21 she can't drink. so I get the profits. A month back she did her first burlesque solo and brought the house down. What can I say? Oh yeah, lol. "I made that." Cheers.


I cannot make a determination of your parenting skills without photos of said burlesque show featuring said unique snowflake.
 
2012-12-24 02:58:26 PM  
Parenting skills fully intact as it would seem I've adopted about 40 extra kids since we started going.

Said unique snowflake photos could be considered assault from causing bedsores and chaffing from not leaving your bunk, so I must defer. Before said performance I offered to sneak her a shot to calm her nerves. "Hold it til I'm done, then we'll celebrate", and off she went. Frank Sinatra was weeping from wherever he is at what she did with his song. . . . in a good way.
 
2012-12-24 05:38:23 PM  

FunkOut: ktybear: FunkOut: Neither one of mine can take more than a drink or two without becoming ill. Miracle of genetics considering their DNA.

That might change by the time they start school.

Hah. No, my parents are like that. With the issue of children, my husband is a Newfie. I expect they will be hitting the rum by grade 5.


I know this thread is from yesterday, sorry. Where are you from if hubby is a newfie? I'm from New Brunswick... When I go to Alberta, they mistake me for a newfie.. I haven't the slightest clue why though.
 
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