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(CNN)   At first we thought Hollywood might have finally turned the corner in 2012, until Honey Boo Boo, the Movie got a greenlight   (cnn.com) divider line 54
    More: Unlikely, Good Movie, Hollywood, Paul Thomas Anderson, David O Russell, Life of Pi, Zero Dark Thirty, No Country, multiplexing  
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3258 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Dec 2012 at 2:01 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-23 10:08:48 AM
And it will be the highest-grossing captioned movie of all time.
 
2012-12-23 10:53:41 AM
Let's hope it ends like Caligula with Honey Boo Boo being smashed on the steps.
 
2012-12-23 11:21:15 AM

Vodka Zombie: Let's hope it ends like Caligula with Honey Boo Boo being smashed on the steps.


From your mouth to God's ear, dude.
 
2012-12-23 11:43:55 AM
At first we thought Hollywood might have finally turned the corner in 2012

No, we didn't.
 
2012-12-23 01:22:23 PM

*scans headline*
*rescans headline in disbelief*

pic.epicfail.com
 
2012-12-23 01:25:32 PM

Vodka Zombie: Let's hope it ends like Caligula with Honey Boo Boo being smashed on the steps.


Let's hope that, unlike Caligula, the incest is only hinted at and not displayed on screen.
 
2012-12-23 01:40:38 PM
That headline earned three "Realy?"s here, and two more from Ms. man when I read it to her.

/not sure if subby should be proud of that or not...
 
2012-12-23 02:09:51 PM
People didn't see this coming? Really?

I'd have been gobsmacked if a book was proposed.
 
2012-12-23 02:12:39 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-23 02:13:41 PM
OPENING SHOT:

A gigantic Hunny Poo Poo floats into view in front of thousands of stars...

The 40 pound Snickers Bar is trying to escape.

Lasers and Dumbtucky talk are fired until finally the 40 Pound snickers is eaten...

etc etc

Christian Bale as Hunny Poo Poo
Nathan Filions Rainbow as Momma the Hutt.
GUEST STARRING
Carrie Fisher Price Waterhouse as "Oh Iwanna Snickers Too"

I can't wait for the Hunny Poo Poo Extended Universe Threads!

/nice work America
 
2012-12-23 02:19:00 PM
TL;DR version: "So wait a minute. Hang on. Are you telling me that if maybe we stop making godawful shiat disguised with explosions, and make movies that people might actually think are good, people might come out to the movies more often? Why, that's just crazy enough to work!"
 
2012-12-23 02:22:23 PM
Will there be nudity?
 
2012-12-23 02:27:40 PM

Gosling: TL;DR version: "So wait a minute. Hang on. Are you telling me that if maybe we stop making godawful shiat disguised with explosions, and make movies that people might actually think are good, people might come out to the movies more often? Why, that's just crazy enough to work!"


It will be a live action "People of Walmart".
 
2012-12-23 02:30:39 PM
Just what America needs Honey BooBoo in 3D.
 
2012-12-23 02:41:41 PM
Any way I can jump off this farking planet?

Seriously- there's "lowbrow" and "lowest common denominator" but this... this... this is 75ft across titanium/molybdenum drill bit digging down to the Earth's mantle low. It's akin to snuff films.
 
2012-12-23 02:43:00 PM
i45.tinypic.com
HONEY BOO BOO CHZIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLDDD!
 
2012-12-23 02:45:00 PM
Ok Mayans...you win.
 
2012-12-23 02:45:34 PM
"People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!"
 
2012-12-23 02:51:30 PM

Haliburton Cummings: OPENING SHOT:

A gigantic Hunny Poo Poo floats into view in front of thousands of stars...

The 40 pound Snickers Bar is trying to escape.

Lasers and Dumbtucky talk are fired until finally the 40 Pound snickers is eaten...

etc etc

Christian Bale as Hunny Poo Poo
Nathan Filions Rainbow as Momma the Hutt.
GUEST STARRING
Carrie Fisher Price Waterhouse as "Oh Iwanna Snickers Too"

I can't wait for the Hunny Poo Poo Extended Universe Threads!

/nice work America


Let this be a lesson, kids: when someone tells you to stay away from the brown acid, you stay away from the brown acid.
 
2012-12-23 02:52:29 PM
I dont see anything about honey boo boo in the article.
 
2012-12-23 02:53:29 PM

darch: Any way I can jump off this farking planet?

Seriously- there's "lowbrow" and "lowest common denominator" but this... this... this is 75ft across titanium/molybdenum drill bit digging down to the Earth's mantle low. It's akin to snuff films.


This isn't as low as we can go... We're only a few years away from shows featuring people locked in a house together, lighting fires, engaging in sexual acts with pieces of furniture, uttering bloodcurdling baboon-like shrieks at each other, all while flinging steaming handfuls of poo.

Hrm... Wait a minute isn't there a Jersey Shore spin off in the works? Maybe we're closer than I thought.
 
2012-12-23 02:59:38 PM

howlinmadmurphy: I dont see anything about honey boo boo in the article.


I think subby's slant on it is that although it appears that Hollywood has been producing lots of good, meaningful movies this year, it's inevitable that they slide back down the hill and start producing nothing but cheap mindless crap again.
 
2012-12-23 03:01:27 PM
Trailer

howlinmadmurphy: I dont see anything about honey boo boo in the article.


Fark Rule #1: The Submitter Lies
 
2012-12-23 03:01:42 PM
You're assuming the average viewer of Honey Boo Boo can fit in a theatre seat.
 
2012-12-23 03:05:00 PM
So this is the apocalypse that the Mayans predicted...
 
2012-12-23 03:05:21 PM

Apos: *scans headline*
*rescans headline in disbelief*

[pic.epicfail.com image 533x646]


THIS

I've actually managed to go all year with minimal exposure to anything related to her or her redneck family. But TLC's been doing an advertising blitz across several channels for new and returning programs, and they've made her the mascot, so to speak.

Good Lord, that child has to be mentally deficient. If it's not an exceedingly poor education, then I'm thinking she might actually be retarded. And somehow, that makes the reality of what TLC's become and what they're doing THAT much worse.
 
2012-12-23 03:06:47 PM

DoughyGuy: howlinmadmurphy: I dont see anything about honey boo boo in the article.

I think subby's slant on it is that although it appears that Hollywood has been producing lots of good, meaningful movies this year, it's inevitable that they slide back down the hill and start producing nothing but cheap mindless crap again.


You're probably right. The phrasing got me.
 
2012-12-23 03:13:10 PM

Clutch2013: I've actually managed to go all year with minimal exposure to anything related to her or her redneck family.


I got rid of cable. I feel this has truly enhanced my life. Now that I'm not even seeing Honey Boo Boo commercials anymore, I feel as if I have hope for humanity again.
 
2012-12-23 03:25:36 PM
Hollywood doesn't know the difference between good movie ideas and bad ones.
 
2012-12-23 03:37:44 PM

borg: Just what America needs Honey BooBoo in 3D IMAX.


*shudder*
 
2012-12-23 03:40:38 PM

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Hollywood doesn't know the difference between good movie ideas and bad ones.


Even good ideas can be undone by bad scrips or the wrong director or actor(s).  I'm sure the opposite is also true, but I can't think of an example off the top of my head...
 
2012-12-23 03:45:45 PM
And they wonder why people are running amok with guns.
 
2012-12-23 04:20:15 PM

wambu: Will there be nudity?


Oh, you know it baby. 3D HFR IMAX. It will be so life like, you will think you can reach out an pop the zits on my ass.

ryanseacrest.com
 
2012-12-23 04:27:45 PM

wambu: Will there be nudity?


Don't look at this picture and think of them naked!  Don't do it!!

files.abovetopsecret.com
/i just threw up a little
 
2012-12-23 04:39:14 PM
An American success story to be admired.

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
 
2012-12-23 05:00:54 PM
Meh, the book was better...
i26.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-23 05:36:56 PM
 
2012-12-23 05:49:15 PM
W.T.F.
 
2012-12-23 06:06:20 PM

TappingTheVein: Ruthless Reviews article on this show is Pulitzer worthy material.


SONOFABIATCH! I was gonna post that!

/"Poet Laureate of America" - the Pulitzer is just not special enough to capture that level of awesome.
 
2012-12-23 06:08:42 PM
So the article doesn't mention a Honey Boo Boo movie. That doesn't mean its not true. So I do a quick search on "Honey Boo Boo Movie" and the first thing that comes up is Honey Boo Boo's cousin Crazy Tony Lindsay. That's his mug shot below. He's being offered a roll in a Porn movie called Here Comes Honey Poon Poon.

starcasm.net

Oh, the mug shot was from when he and 4 others were arrested for jumping into traffic wearing a Gorilla suit.

Yeah, I know...
 
2012-12-23 06:22:51 PM

Brick-House:
Oh, the mug shot was from when he and 4 others were arrested for jumping into traffic wearing a Gorilla suit.


Must have been a big suit.
 
2012-12-23 07:17:42 PM
Brick-House: America... What the hell happened?.jpg.

It's not America; it's the media. As time goes by, they sink lower and lower. From their glorification of sex and violence to their pointing their collective finger at the gun industry for the result of the barriers they've worked so hard to lower. Guns didn't glorify and desensitize people to violence, the media did. Of course, only the "Low-information Voters" remain unaware of the fact, but their numbers are rising.
 
2012-12-23 08:00:18 PM

HAMMERTOE: Brick-House: America... What the hell happened?.jpg.

It's not America; it's the media.


Media panders to their consumers.
 
2012-12-23 08:20:42 PM

Clutch2013: Apos: *scans headline*
*rescans headline in disbelief*

[pic.epicfail.com image 533x646]
Good Lord, that child has to be mentally deficient. If it's not an exceedingly poor education, then I'm thinking she might actually be retarded. And somehow, that makes the reality of what TLC's become and what they're doing THAT much worse.


HBB is really the re-animated corpse of Jon Benet Ramsey. Mama June's other daughters weren't beauty pageant material, so Mama dug up her body, revived her by injecting her with a mix of Red Bull and Mountain Dew, then changed her name to Honey Boo Boo. The meth fumes coming from Mama's sweat has dulled HBB's intellect and made her forget her past as Jon Benet.
 
2012-12-23 09:15:22 PM
That Ruthless Review may be the greatest single piece of non-fiction I have ever read.

"Weakness: could be easily punted off an overpass like a spoiled chalupa."

Oh man.
 
2012-12-23 11:36:53 PM
TL;DR version: "So wait a minute. Hang on. Are you telling me that if maybe we stop making godawful shiat disguised with explosions, and make movies that people might actually think are good, people might come out to the movies more often? Why, that's just crazy enough to work!"

So they are going to blow up the cast of Honey Boo Boo?

It's not America; it's the media.
Media panders to their consumers.


I blame the internet! If it hadn't seduced away all the people who can think, there might be some intelligent people to pander to.
 
2012-12-24 12:14:40 AM
robsmovievault.files.wordpress.com

Obligatory
 
2012-12-24 12:19:12 AM

richlw: [robsmovievault.files.wordpress.com image 500x269]

Obligatory


meh, not big enough.
 
2012-12-24 01:10:36 AM
www.nextmovie.com
 
2012-12-24 02:26:09 AM

Dansker: HAMMERTOE: Brick-House: America... What the hell happened?.jpg.

It's not America; it's the media.

Media panders to their consumers.


And the average consumer prefers trainwrecks and fart jokes.

The cycle of lame.
 
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