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(Boston.com)   Happy Festivus to one and all. Air your grievances to the right   (boston.com ) divider line 197
    More: Sappy, Festivus, rude behavior, Ig Nobel Prizes, coronary artery disease  
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4007 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2012 at 8:14 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-23 10:56:01 AM  
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I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
 
2012-12-23 10:57:04 AM  
Lights are up, hot tea in hand. Cats are running full tilt back and forth across the floor for no particularly good reason. Not a whole lot to complain about. Would prefer clients pay on time instead of making me chase them, but it's up to me to find better clients and cut loose the losers.

Happy Whatever Day!
 
2012-12-23 10:57:15 AM  

Shyla: When does the Feats of Strength start?


Stand back, I'm about to do a pushup.
 
2012-12-23 11:02:56 AM  

bacchanalias and consequences: I'm an Eagles fan.


Yeah, my mom wants to hang herself, too.
 
2012-12-23 11:11:14 AM  
img585.imageshack.us

/one of the best gaming scams in years
//didn't get scammed
///came very close
 
2012-12-23 11:18:10 AM  
www.charliekilo.com
 
2012-12-23 11:20:37 AM  

windowseat: Here Comes Everybody: I've had a sinus headache for over a week now and am living on Tylenol. My nose is clogged, my mouth is constantly dry, and I can barely taste anything.

You need a neti pot.


Word. Tylenol will shred your liver in the long run.
 
2012-12-23 11:28:29 AM  

Im_Gumby: swaniefrmreddeer: Krymson Tyde: swaniefrmreddeer: DubyaHater: I have a problem with people who call soda "pop". It's lame.

I have a problem with people who call pop "soda", they aren't Canadian.

I have a problem with people who call coke soda a pop.

Coke and soda is a cocktail. Coke, soda, and ammonia makes crack.

Coke and Iron Ore makes pig iron


Coke and Rum makes a Cuba Libre. And now for the Feats of Strength!
 
2012-12-23 11:28:36 AM  

Hot Carl To Go: My mother just brewed a pot of coffee into the coffee that was left in the pot. This is a new peculiarity to add to the list. It tastes terrible


Your login is officially my favorite on all of Fark right now. I don't know why I'm still giggling about it. I'll air my grievances later, though.
 
2012-12-23 11:28:45 AM  
No bagel, no bagel, no bagel!
 
2012-12-23 11:49:04 AM  

namegoeshere: Let's see... The MIL decided LAST NIGHT that she couldn't do Christmas Eve, as has been planned since, well, every freakin' year. She invited herself for tonight instead, which means I am now doing three Christmas dinners instead of two. And I have to be ready 24 hours earlier than I thought. So of course, here I am Farking instead of Christmas prepping.


Aaaaand, she called back. And isn't coming tonight. The man-child (live in boyfriend and moocher extrordinaire) apparently has a better offer. So she might maybe show up tomorrow as originally planned. Maybe. Or Christmas at some point. Maybe possibly. Maybe not though. Because the bed-warmer-with-a-heartbeat-and-not-much-else is apparently more important than her children and grandchildren.

I would say fark it and just not worry about her, but she is giving the big gift on which many of the little gifts are based, So she needs to go first. Or else we have to tell them what they are getting from her so they actually have stuff to open on Christmas besides clothes.

The BILs family is also not giving me a straight answer so on both Christmas Eve and Christmas I will have 6 people or 12 people or maybe somewhere in between. Whatever.

I BOUGHT A ROAST DAMMIT

/every
//farking
///year
 
2012-12-23 12:04:07 PM  
I just want a job.  And to my former boss:  I really wish that you would adhere to your own policies instead of making stuff up as you go along.   You blamed me for problems that weren't technically my fault.  I relocated from Florida to Pennsylvania to work for you, thinking I'd continue my career with a company I enjoyed working for.  Also, as a manager, you lose the right to complain about problems in the lab when you leave work every day at 2:30 pm.
 
2012-12-23 12:05:05 PM  
I'm pissed that my Mom and Dad's liquor cabinet doesn't lock because my cats opened it up and knocked over my bourbon!
 
2012-12-23 12:06:07 PM  
I spent an hour last night explaining to my family that we don't plan on having children. Our decision was met with derision and scorn.

/Farking hate the holidays. Xmas can't be over soon enough.
//On the plus side, got my bonus on Friday. Going to buy some useless crap today.
 
2012-12-23 12:14:43 PM  
Why isn't it legal for me to ride my motorcycle on the breakdown lane of the freeway? FFS, there is an entire lane unused!
 
2012-12-23 12:18:45 PM  
As part of my freshly signed divorce, I owe $48K in alimony. The ex is an attorney too. She's being rewarded for not having the business skills to build a law practice that pays more than she'd get being a McDonald's assistant manager.
 
2012-12-23 12:27:28 PM  
I have to work on my vacation. It's been such a clusterfark getting ready to take this time off, I probably won't bother next year.
 
2012-12-23 12:28:51 PM  
I hate how some people here expect each post to be perfect prose written to entertain and enlighten. BUT even the smallest mistake should be pointed out and ridiculed AND the poster demeaned. ostracized and shunned.

Punctuation, Learn, how to use it; Dumbass.
 
2012-12-23 12:30:54 PM  
I wore a rhinestone jacket to a gay night last night.

Two girls fought over me.

When I was playing that game, they wouldn't have given me the time of day.

//got nothin'
 
2012-12-23 12:32:37 PM  

robbrie: As part of my freshly signed divorce, I owe $48K in alimony. The ex is an attorney too. She's being rewarded for not having the business skills to build a law practice that pays more than she'd get being a McDonald's assistant manager.


Your feat of strength should be seeing how much candy you can lift and stick into your mouth this holiday season.

/candy is a stripper
 
2012-12-23 12:32:49 PM  
And thusly, Festivus rained supreme. The end
 
2012-12-23 12:39:57 PM  
Here we go:

Im farking sick of being torn up. Torn up over my mom having anti-biotic immune pneumonia. Torn up over my friend Vicki getting farking shot in Newtown (yes i actually knew her). Im now torn up my buddys' father went in for a "routine" triple bypass surgery, then they had to do a Quad bypass instead, followed up by complications and the body possibly not accepting the surgery or whatever...

I have no more feels. Ive cried my farking eyes out the last two weeks.

8th-circuit.com


//Grievances man.. i has them.

//happy festivus.. or christmas or whatever the fark you want.
 
2012-12-23 12:46:15 PM  

ChrisDe: People that brag they worked 60 hours (or some inflated number) last week. Then later, you find out they did all their online shopping at work. And they called your cousin for a holiday recipe. And they made an appointment with a mechanic to get their car fixed. Etc, etc. etc.

That's not working. That's getting paid to do your basic errands.


I never understood the point of "bragging" how many hours one works. What's so great about being slow and taking a long time to get stuff done?
 
2012-12-23 01:02:39 PM  
i1136.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-23 01:11:13 PM  

gja: Dear fellow world members:
Please stop:
1. Killing each other over stupid shiat.
2. Stealing each others land/possessions/resources etc...
3. Taking drugs that turn you into azzholes that feel the need to go and do horrific shiat (leading to yet more misery).
4. Allowing your fellow man to starve, freeze/boil to death, die lonely and alone, die without dignity or solace, etc...
5. Being so materialistic (no matter how hard you try, you will leave it all behind and you are dust in the end).
6. Ignoring those around you in pain and suffering. You ARE your brothers keeper. No. REALLY.

This is a start, at least. There is so, so much more though. I hope and pray I live to see the day we as a race "get it" and start fixing our collective shiat.

/fark-on man, fark-on


slowclap.gif
 
2012-12-23 01:11:17 PM  

Galileo's Daughter: I just want a job.  And to my former boss:  I really wish that you would adhere to your own policies instead of making stuff up as you go along.   You blamed me for problems that weren't technically my fault.  I relocated from Florida to Pennsylvania to work for you, thinking I'd continue my career with a company I enjoyed working for.  Also, as a manager, you lose the right to complain about problems in the lab when you leave work every day at 2:30 pm.


We might have had the same boss. Did he come in to work at 10:30 hung over?
 
2012-12-23 01:11:51 PM  

Krymson Tyde: swaniefrmreddeer: DubyaHater: I have a problem with people who call soda "pop". It's lame.

I have a problem with people who call pop "soda", they aren't Canadian.

I have a problem with people who call coke soda a pop.


It's tonic, damn you all to hell!

/grew up near RI; Father raised there
 
2012-12-23 01:13:57 PM  
Happy Festivus:

i117.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-23 01:41:46 PM  
sigh, not that anyone will get this far....

I'm tired of being unloved and unwanted, it's been almost two years since anyone's even been nice to me.

/also I cry a lot
//I know, no one cares-that's the problem.
 
2012-12-23 01:41:46 PM  
Useless n00b modmins and self-absorbed jackasses that don't realize when I actually troll, I'm making it blatantly obvious and it's not hate speech. If you just don't get where I'm coming from, read my farking profile.
 
2012-12-23 01:44:55 PM  
This is the perfect feat of strength.

farm8.staticflickr.com

Mix 'em all together into one glorious cocktail of holiday goodness, and drink it down. If you can accomplish without throwing up, you are crowned the KING OF FESTIVUS!
 
2012-12-23 01:46:55 PM  
Dear science people:

It is quite possible for me to both love to do science and also not want to do science every single hour of every day. You keep lamenting that grad students leave tenure tracks early and why can't we keep these bright minds interested in academic careers? Well, maybe you could not set up the system so that I can choose between doing interesting research for less than minimum wage over twelve to fourteen hour days for the next ten years before I might, might, luck out and get tenure; or I can sell out to industry and do boring work for soulless money monkeys but at least I can afford a mortgage and maybe go home and see my kids once in a while.

Thanks,
Chameleon
 
2012-12-23 01:49:57 PM  
Wife and I are sick and are staying home this year, not visiting sisters in law an eight hour drive through Chicago away. SIL is freaking the fark out, leaving sobbing messages on voice mail. It's not about you, you crazy woman. And desperation and neediness is not attractive on anyone.

So maybe my grievance has a silver lining, not having to deal face to face with crazy family who only want to see you to buffer you from the other relatives.
 
2012-12-23 01:52:04 PM  

BlaqueKatt: sigh, not that anyone will get this far....

I'm tired of being unloved and unwanted, it's been almost two years since anyone's even been nice to me.

/also I cry a lot
//I know, no one cares-that's the problem.


I have you faved in a lovely mauve, so there's that...

Your tag is "Likes cat crossbows."

So (((hug))) and Happy Festivus!
 
2012-12-23 01:52:22 PM  
And now for the feats of strength:
i45.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-23 01:52:37 PM  

Chameleon: Dear science people:

It is quite possible for me to both love to do science and also not want to do science every single hour of every day. You keep lamenting that grad students leave tenure tracks early and why can't we keep these bright minds interested in academic careers? Well, maybe you could not set up the system so that I can choose between doing interesting research for less than minimum wage over twelve to fourteen hour days for the next ten years before I might, might, luck out and get tenure; or I can sell out to industry and do boring work for soulless money monkeys but at least I can afford a mortgage and maybe go home and see my kids once in a while.

Thanks,
Chameleon


I feel your pain and speak from experience when I say, not all schools will grind you to a fine paste on the track to tenure. The mid-tier-but-still-researchy schools don't require you to spend your life writing grants and publishing (but you do have to publish; at my place it's four halfway decent papers or three plus a grant). Just keep that in mind as you slog your way through grad school (which sucks and always has sucked, BTW!).
 
2012-12-23 02:02:31 PM  

b0rscht: Wife and I are sick and are staying home this year, not visiting sisters in law an eight hour drive through Chicago away. SIL is freaking the fark out, leaving sobbing messages on voice mail. It's not about you, you crazy woman. And desperation and neediness is not attractive on anyone.

So maybe my grievance has a silver lining, not having to deal face to face with crazy family who only want to see you to buffer you from the other relatives.


If I were you, I'd plan to be sick next Christmas, too.
 
2012-12-23 02:09:44 PM  

namegoeshere: BlaqueKatt: sigh, not that anyone will get this far....

I'm tired of being unloved and unwanted, it's been almost two years since anyone's even been nice to me.

/also I cry a lot
//I know, no one cares-that's the problem.

I have you faved in a lovely mauve, so there's that...

Your tag is "Likes cat crossbows."

So (((hug))) and Happy Festivus!


(((hug))) from me as well.
 
2012-12-23 02:14:11 PM  
I'm so sick of spoiler-laden promos for shows I'm about to watch. The show is on in literally two minutes, and I have to change the channel because I don't want the promo to give half the plot away. Or spoil a big reveal. Or a small reveal. Or a great joke. Bottom line, just tell me that the episode is airing in a few minutes and stop giving away all the good stuff.

It's almost as bad as the opening credits for Battlestar Galactica, which would spoil the freaking episode. The worst part was that the creators KNEW people didn't like the spoilers and did it anyway. Were there not enough good clips from previous episodes? Did you HAVE to show us pivotal plot points and freaking give away the story before we got to it. What was wrong with you? No wonder you blew the finale.
 
2012-12-23 02:20:23 PM  
So is it in the spirit of Festivus to get a bagel from H&H? Or not? The origin story needs to be clarified for modern Festivus celebrators.

/you've been warned
 
2012-12-23 02:24:14 PM  
To G., who pretended to be such a rulebreaker and flouter of conventions, then backed off when it looked like something really special could happen between us.

To R,, who literally who ran out on our date and demonstrated that there is somthing ruder than standing someone up. For anyone who thinks I'm misusing the word, it was our first blind date (I already had a sense he was a sh*t and was actually hoping for a no-show) and we'd agree to go running together. He arrived and I asked if I could stow my backpack in his car. We headed for the car and he said he needed to stop in a cafe to pee. I waited outside and about two minutes later turned around to see him high-tailing it out of the cafe in the opposite direction.
 
2012-12-23 02:34:51 PM  

Saberus Terras: namegoeshere: BlaqueKatt: sigh, not that anyone will get this far....

I'm tired of being unloved and unwanted, it's been almost two years since anyone's even been nice to me.

/also I cry a lot
//I know, no one cares-that's the problem.

I have you faved in a lovely mauve, so there's that...

Your tag is "Likes cat crossbows."

So (((hug))) and Happy Festivus!

(((hug))) from me as well.


I will begin with a hug. It will end with... Feats of Strength!
 
2012-12-23 02:51:36 PM  
I'll go. So, thank you whatever gods ye be that chose to smite my loyal and reliable Honda 3 days before Thanksgiving with a leaking head gasket that now cannot be replaced nor repaired without the sale of a kidney. Oh, thanks to your bounteous blessings and mercy, I now have to take the bus 2 hours each way to work each day so my 1.5 hour commute has turned into 4. At least I'm getting some reading done. Ok, sarcasm off.

That's about it. Everything else is perfect. I think I may be hard-pressed to find another person with as good, quiet, and as fulfilling of a life as I have truly been blessed with.

I'm getting a new car in January or early February, so...not much to complain about. Life is the best it's been for me. That's not really a Festivus miracle, but an everyday one, I spose.

/Happy Festivus
//too out of shape to compete in the feats of strength. Maybe next year to work out some pent up agression.
///but still, stupid, stupid car. And after everything I did for it. Stupid car.
 
2012-12-23 03:14:34 PM  

Landis: Today is the 8th day of a 2-week vacation; the first chunk of time greater than 2 days wrapped around a weekend that I've ever taken off. So, naturally, I was woken up at 8:00 by a phone call from the Tampa office that began with "Yeah, I know you're on vacation and all...". This, coincidentally, is the sixth phone call I've gotten from work since starting the vacation.


Bah! Employed peoples problem!
 
2012-12-23 03:17:04 PM  

Nogale: To G., who pretended to be such a rulebreaker and flouter of conventions, then backed off when it looked like something really special could happen between us.

To R,, who literally who ran out on our date and demonstrated that there is somthing ruder than standing someone up. For anyone who thinks I'm misusing the word, it was our first blind date (I already had a sense he was a sh*t and was actually hoping for a no-show) and we'd agree to go running together. He arrived and I asked if I could stow my backpack in his car. We headed for the car and he said he needed to stop in a cafe to pee. I waited outside and about two minutes later turned around to see him high-tailing it out of the cafe in the opposite direction.


www.warningsignshirts.com
 
2012-12-23 03:38:17 PM  

Saberus Terras: Lemme give this a go... *cracks knuckles before typing*

First off. All you Farkers, especially the mods AND Drew: You're cool as shiat on a glacier.

To the "System Admins" that I work for on a daily basis:

Fark you, fark you all sideways with fire hydrants wrapped in Concertina wire.

Telling me to run diagnostics on your server without giving me any useful information will result in nothing. Telling me to do your job for you only says you don't know how to do your job. Know what happens if I don't know how to do my job? I get farking fired.

I wish all you idiots get ignited napalm enemas.

No more will I simply let you remain ignorant. I will lambaste you in the vapid, inane emails you send betraying your ignorance of you key job functions. Pull everyone off the email so it's just you telling me you don't know how? I'll put everyone back on with my lmgtfy response and show your colleagues you're a moron.

I hope you get planar warts and planar fasciitis, and that your mother in laws will describe their ass boils to you in appetite-destroying detail.

My job is to fix the hardware when it breaks, nothing else. It's your job to diagnose the servers, I'm only to do it when your system is so farked you can't remote to it. It's your job to monitor your servers, you can biatch until the cows come home that you have 200 servers to watch, I have 1000's in my location alone. You have monitoring software, hell, your IPMI-compliant management controllers can be set up to send you a damn email through SNMP when they find something's gone wrong, all of it automatic.

I hope midgets punch you in the junk with rusty razor blades.


SO. MUCH. THIS.

Had an "admin" modify a GPO on the production domain controller and lock everyone out of RDP last week.

\Fortunately I have console access and know WTF this idiot did.
\\Unfortunately said admin still has domain admin rights.
\\\Fortunately I sent her boss screen grabs of the FUBARed prod domain controller and the working-normally dev domain controller with a note saying "Learn what change management is, and if you don't know group policy, don't touch it.".
\\\\Even their account manager laughed at them for that one.
 
2012-12-23 03:40:39 PM  

DubyaHater: I have a problem with people who call soda "pop". It's lame.


It's a regional thing.
 
2012-12-23 03:48:30 PM  

Baz the Spaz: My kids all fight with each other and they're all adults. Grow up, damn it! And to my youngest child, the idiot son, who thinks nothing is ever his fault, yes it is your fault. Grow a pair already. And I still love all of you. How does that work?

/Feeling better already.


You should have beat them more.
 
2012-12-23 03:50:46 PM  
my neighbor and his redneck friends stand outside in his yard every evening with a beer in hand and stare at my house. EVERY DAMN DAY, I have morons watching me. If I happen to wave, I just get dumb looks.
My house is not interesting. Me taking out the garbage is not interesting. My dog crapping in my yard is not interesting. WHY DO YOU STARE AT ME? Go inside for christs sake and watch tv like everyone else.
 
2012-12-23 03:52:53 PM  

tartcake: my neighbor and his redneck friends stand outside in his yard every evening with a beer in hand and stare at my house. EVERY DAMN DAY, I have morons watching me. If I happen to wave, I just get dumb looks.
My house is not interesting. Me taking out the garbage is not interesting. My dog crapping in my yard is not interesting. WHY DO YOU STARE AT ME? Go inside for christs sake and watch tv like everyone else.


How purdy is your mouth, though?
 
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