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(RamblingBeachCat.com)   The 10 worst gifts you can get your child this Christmas (besides a Total Fark membership)   (ramblingbeachcat.com) divider line 114
    More: Amusing, christmas, Words With Friends, Santa Clause, FAO Schwartz, cash registers, St. Nicholas, Golden Arches, gender identity disorder  
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22742 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2012 at 11:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-23 01:05:25 AM
I had a Little Helper when I was a wee little one.  I liked watching the balls inside it pop around.
 
2012-12-23 09:10:29 AM
I fully intend to get my son a TF membership when he's ready to take an Intro to Logic course. Why bother searching for examples when I have the full gamut of moron - from Birther to Truther to aliens-are-invading amd everything in between - begging me to read not only their 'important news', but all their wonderfully researched and thought out views on the subject
 
2012-12-23 09:58:59 AM
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-12-23 10:26:09 AM
www.invitations4less.com
 
2012-12-23 10:35:24 AM

stratagos: I fully intend to get my son a TF membership when he's ready to take an Intro to Logic course. Why bother searching for examples when I have the full gamut of moron - from Birther to Truther to aliens-are-invading amd everything in between - begging me to read not only their 'important news', but all their wonderfully researched and thought out views on the subject


To be fair, the politics tab offers most of that for free.
 
2012-12-23 10:38:04 AM
Also, this now hard to find gift still needs to be killed with fire.
 
2012-12-23 11:49:52 AM
I had a Little Helper when I was a wee little one. I liked watching the balls pop around.

catholic?
 
2012-12-23 11:50:29 AM

Nickster79: stratagos: I fully intend to get my son a TF membership when he's ready to take an Intro to Logic course. Why bother searching for examples when I have the full gamut of moron - from Birther to Truther to aliens-are-invading amd everything in between - begging me to read not only their 'important news', but all their wonderfully researched and thought out views on the subject

To be fair, the politics tab offers most of that for free.


Yes, but TFD is it's own little echo chamber, and while it's no derpfest, it is an interesting case study
 
2012-12-23 11:53:19 AM

stratagos: Nickster79: stratagos: I fully intend to get my son a TF membership when he's ready to take an Intro to Logic course. Why bother searching for examples when I have the full gamut of moron - from Birther to Truther to aliens-are-invading amd everything in between - begging me to read not only their 'important news', but all their wonderfully researched and thought out views on the subject

To be fair, the politics tab offers most of that for free.

Yes, but TFD is it's own little echo chamber, and while it's no derpfest, it is an interesting case study


True...although a thread there one time responding to a guy asking how to make a good impression on his first day at a new job is still one of the funniest things that I've ever read.
 
2012-12-23 11:56:20 AM
img651.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-23 11:56:27 AM
As much as I dislike eating McDonalds.....They look like good sets for kids who like to PRETEND to do things....like have a picnic.
 
2012-12-23 11:57:20 AM
I would be very happy with a TotalFark membership for Christmas, personally.
 
2012-12-23 11:58:51 AM

ArkAngel: [hot cocoa sampler]


Ooh, I got some of that last year. It was nasty. Srsly, the generic Swiss Miss from Aldi was much better.
 
2012-12-23 12:00:03 PM
My total fark membership expired today. Not renewing. I'll wait for the TFers to sift through the rubbish.

/If one is sifting through the raw fark submissions to improve the final front page content, you should be getting paid for it, or at least be getting it for free, not paying for the privilege!
//still love Fark after >10 years
 
2012-12-23 12:00:40 PM
I'm not normally one to complain about the article, but that really read like someone was trying to imitate Seanbaby in his prime, and failing terribly. Even the Cracked articles usually aren't that bad. The list wasn't even very interesting, as it fails to contain entries like the 1950s' "Li'l' Nuclear Physicist Kit with REAL NUCLEAR MATERIAL".

The last entry was a bit eyebrow-raising, however; baby toys usually don't so directly reference the physiological processes. Interesting.
 
2012-12-23 12:01:43 PM

acronym: I had a Little Helper when I was a wee little one. I liked watching the balls pop around.

catholic?


Eh, holiday Catholic.
 
2012-12-23 12:02:01 PM
My 3yo was laying on top of me squealing in delight at those toys.
 
2012-12-23 12:02:46 PM
Amazon also has replacement diapers for the pooing baby doll...based on the comments, these diapers are more expensive than the real thing, and they leak. XD
 
2012-12-23 12:04:02 PM

acronym: I had a Little Helper when I was a wee little one. I liked watching the balls pop around.

catholic?


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-23 12:06:44 PM
How is Zynga actually allowed to make a board game version of Words with Friends? The only difference between it and Scrabble is the location of the bonus squares.
 
2012-12-23 12:07:12 PM

Fat-D: As much as I dislike eating McDonalds.....They look like good sets for kids who like to PRETEND to do things....like have a picnic.


NOT PRETEND to do things....like future burger-flippin.
 
2012-12-23 12:08:41 PM
So uh... how uh... hard does that... uh... breast-feeding doll actually suck? My uh... friend want's to know...
 
2012-12-23 12:09:40 PM
Sounds like author of article doesn't have kids. Kids love playing with fake food.
 
2012-12-23 12:11:02 PM
zioneocon.blogspot.com

/hotlink from a jewish blog....
 
2012-12-23 12:12:35 PM

IamPatSajak: My 3yo was laying on top of me squealing in delight at those toys.


Yup. Author clearly doesn't have kids. Most of those are just fine. The thumb wrestling is still dumb.
 
2012-12-23 12:14:13 PM
The author clearly doesn't have kids, or doesn't find himself around kids. I have no kids of my own, but plenty of my friends and family do, and I can say with 100% certainly that kids would love some of those toys.

/the number of fake plastic 'sandwiches' I've been served by toddlers is absurd.
//kids are really obsessed with fake food.
 
2012-12-23 12:14:14 PM
Awful blog, but the baby alive video is worth a watch.
 
2012-12-23 12:14:22 PM
i471.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-23 12:15:23 PM
The video of the girl refusing to change the diaper on the pooping doll is hysterical, if not a bit inappropriate.
 
2012-12-23 12:15:49 PM
ok, I am watching the brian setzer orchestra play xmas music music and its awful... pleasee adjust your head before going on tv....
 
2012-12-23 12:18:45 PM
That wood pounding rack looks like the type of toy kids would love and parents would hate that you got it for their kid. Should never make toys where the object is to make a lot of noise.
 
2012-12-23 12:20:00 PM
www.adweek.com

"What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
It's Log, Log, Log!

It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"
 
2012-12-23 12:20:27 PM
This is all wrong ! Everyone knows that the register at McDonalds has pictures of the food, not numbers on the keys.
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-23 12:21:05 PM

thornhill: The video of the girl refusing to change the diaper on the pooping doll is hysterical, if not a bit inappropriate.


"You can't let your baby sit in poop; DSS will come and get you!"

/start saving for your kids therapy bills now, Mom
 
2012-12-23 12:30:21 PM
Is it a sign that I'm getting old that I don't understand the pull of "Words with Friends". It's just jazzed up Scrabble.

\used to be with it
\\then they changed what it was
\\\now what's it seems weird and scary to me
 
2012-12-23 12:39:54 PM

thornhill: The video of the girl refusing to change the diaper on the pooping doll is hysterical, if not a bit inappropriate.


There have been dolls that wet their pants for many years. Nothing new there. But I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during the committee meeting where it was decided that in order to gain some level of competitive edge, what was required was a doll that shiats itself.
 
2012-12-23 12:40:27 PM
It's scrabble with a slightly different board.

In other news, scrabble has been a popular board game for how long? Scrabble is fun, but in this case, you don't have to devote an hour and the kitchen table, let alone be in the same room.
 
2012-12-23 12:42:26 PM
I was expecting 'bag of hammers' and 'pile of rusty razor blades'. Leaving disappointed.
 
2012-12-23 12:42:35 PM

Izunbacol: It's scrabble with a slightly different board.

In other news, scrabble has been a popular board game for how long? Scrabble is fun, but in this case, you don't have to devote an hour and the kitchen table, let alone be in the same room.


Which is why they released a board game version of it? It makes no sense.
 
2012-12-23 12:43:10 PM

cig-mkr: This is all wrong ! Everyone knows that the register at McDonalds has pictures of the food, not numbers on the keys.


When I worked at McDonalds in the late 90s, there were no pictures on the register.

But maybe things have changed.
 
2012-12-23 12:45:07 PM

foo monkey: Awful blog, but the baby alive video is worth a watch.


That'd be a great gift for the kid who wants a real baby a bit too much. That logic can and does get stuck in a brain, I know of towns in the US where teen pregancy is actually a positive status symbol. farking disturbing.

Want to disrupt that? Shock the shiat out of them with realistic poo-doll when they're just beginning to form such romantic notions.

Sure, it's not enjoyable, its not supposed to be, it's a life lesson.

Fat-D: As much as I dislike eating McDonalds.....They look like good sets for kids who like to PRETEND to do things....like have a picnic.


This, and the others.

The Tea Party (non-politard) is an almost ancient tradition for kids. Fake food, empty cups, etc.

What better to clean up the kids room than with the fun kiddy-fied cleaning kit?

Everything from this section is not glamourously fun, no, but it can be mildly entertaining and educational. Manners and knowledge of cleaning are not bad things.

I think the article writer is a bit of a clueless douche.
/understatement
 
2012-12-23 12:47:38 PM

More_Like_A_Stain: thornhill: The video of the girl refusing to change the diaper on the pooping doll is hysterical, if not a bit inappropriate.

There have been dolls that wet their pants for many years. Nothing new there. But I would have loved to be a fly on the wall during the committee meeting where it was decided that in order to gain some level of competitive edge, what was required was a doll that shiats itself.


Clearly you didn't watch the video. The doll is not the issue
 
2012-12-23 12:48:09 PM
No Bushmaster on the list??

Son..I am disappoint
 
2012-12-23 12:50:48 PM
 FTA: "When I set out to compile assortment of terrible toys, many of the "worst of" lists I found on the internet were made based off of the fact that the toy was simply too dangerous."

My favorite dangerous toy as a child:

i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-23 12:53:47 PM

WhippingBoy: So uh... how uh... hard does that... uh... breast-feeding doll actually suck? My uh... friend want's to know...


Lol'd at this. Good one
 
2012-12-23 12:55:23 PM
The comments on the Amazon site for the breastfeeding doll are just all kinds of entertaining.

The way the toy works is this: when you put the supplied "bra" on & put the doll to the flower nipple, the doll makes sucking noises & movements which provide direct stimulation to the nipples. To me, it wasn't a pleasant sensation, and for the life of me, I cannot fathom why ANYONE with a brain would think electronic stimulation of children's nipples would be a healthy thing!

data.whicdn.com
 
M-G
2012-12-23 12:56:40 PM
The wooden hammer set is great for toddlers, and the kids love playing with the fake food. Normally his stuff is pretty funny, but this was a fail.
 
2012-12-23 12:57:32 PM

offmymeds: [www.adweek.com image 425x340]

"What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
Rolls over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
It's Log, Log, Log!

It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"


I bought the Ren & Stimpy CD and put a bow on a log one year at Christmas. I started the Log song and gave the log to my mom. She thought it was hilarious.
 
2012-12-23 01:03:52 PM
The McDonald's one can't be real- the cheese is separate from the meat patties, making it possible to order an actual HAMBURGER.

/farking idiots. in what universe is a "hamburger" a "cheeseburger - hold the cheese?"
 
2012-12-23 01:04:27 PM
I always wonderednwhynparents bought fake cleaning stuff for kids and not real cleaning stuff for kids
 
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