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(Boulder Daily Camera)   Most people hit rock bottom once they're convicted for killing a raccoon using a machete and baseball bat. But not this guy   (dailycamera.com) divider line 33
    More: Followup, sex crimes, probation  
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5934 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2012 at 11:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-22 12:03:04 PM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-22 12:10:31 PM
This young animal-killing, sexual-assaulting economics major has a bright future as a job creator and/or republican representative from hawaii!
 
2012-12-22 12:12:13 PM
Some folk'll never kill a raccoon using a machete and a baseball bat, but then again, some folk'll...
 
2012-12-22 12:17:21 PM
Ahem. Boulder police, if any of you are reading this... this is the kind of person you usually read about in the paper after he's found a firearm and shot up a crowd. Might want to make a mental note of bringing that up with the chief while you've got him there.

Or, you know, just let him plead to a misdemeanor and send him on his way. Whichever.
 
2012-12-22 12:23:26 PM
www.d20pfsrd.com


Not quite, but close enough.
 
2012-12-22 12:31:17 PM
I give him points for not sexually assaulting the raccoon.

however, GIS "Sexually Assaulting a Raccoon" and look what picture comes up in the first position.

extras.mnginteractive.com
 
2012-12-22 12:33:57 PM
CU-Boulder is where all the rich haoles that wanted a "respectable" party school, yet still wanted to get home for Thanksgiving break, and couldn't get into a UC school went.

Guess now it's where the crazy sexual/animal assault rich haoles go.
 
2012-12-22 12:41:14 PM

ElLoco: Ahem. Boulder police, if any of you are reading this... this is the kind of person you usually read about in the paper after he's found a firearm and shot up a crowd. Might want to make a mental note of bringing that up with the chief while you've got him there.

Or, you know, just let him plead to a misdemeanor and send him on his way. Whichever.


and what exactly would chief do ?
 
2012-12-22 12:44:43 PM

m053486: CU-Boulder is where all the rich haoles that wanted a "respectable" party school, yet still wanted to get home for Thanksgiving break, and couldn't get into a UC school went.

Guess now it's where the crazy sexual/animal assault rich haoles go.


I've never understood this whole "party school" thing. Hawai`i, Alaska, Nevada, California, Florida, Texas, New York, public universities all require their students to bust ass for grades.

It's usually been the Ivy Leagues that allegations of drunken rape emerge from, like Duke.
 
2012-12-22 12:50:22 PM
From the comments underneath TFA: I think a fair punishment would be to tie him down and let some raccoons rape him.

I disagree, I think they need to use a much larger critter. I think a donkey would be cure him of what ails him.
 
2012-12-22 01:05:19 PM
It might make me unpopular around here, but if I encounter a raccoon using a machete and a baseball bat, I'd probably kill him as well.
 
2012-12-22 01:18:34 PM

Brick-House: I give him points for not sexually assaulting the raccoon.

however, GIS "Sexually Assaulting a Raccoon" and look what picture comes up in the first position.

Look what shows second? Hmm?
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-22 01:31:37 PM
One time raccoons got on the back porch, mama jut chased 'em off with a broom.

/no, dummy
 
182
2012-12-22 01:37:17 PM

Brick-House: I give him points for not sexually assaulting the raccoon.

however, GIS "Sexually Assaulting a Raccoon" and look what picture comes up in the first position.

[extras.mnginteractive.com image 200x250]


dude, you gis'ed "sexually assaulting a raccoon"!
 
2012-12-22 01:41:11 PM

kendelrio: One time raccoons got on the back porch, mama jut chased 'em off with a broom.

/no, dummy


But that wasn't "a raccoon using a machete and baseball bat." Them critters are fierce.

img40.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-22 02:27:39 PM
I interfered with quokkas in fascination of our icon, not to be cruel, not to show off in front of my teammates, and definitely not to hurt them. But whether sober or drunk, they should not be touched. I apologise profusely for being intoxicated and thus being clumsy in returning a quokka to the ground ."
-Scott Fava


i49.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-22 02:36:30 PM

special20: Brick-House: I give him points for not sexually assaulting the raccoon.

however, GIS "Sexually Assaulting a Raccoon" and look what picture comes up in the first position.
Look what shows second? Hmm?
[i.imgur.com image 409x312]


Travolta's #1 in my GIS.

/raccoon farker
 
2012-12-22 03:10:54 PM

Mimic_Octopus: ElLoco: Ahem. Boulder police, if any of you are reading this... this is the kind of person you usually read about in the paper after he's found a firearm and shot up a crowd. Might want to make a mental note of bringing that up with the chief while you've got him there.

Or, you know, just let him plead to a misdemeanor and send him on his way. Whichever.

and what exactly would chief do ?


He could forget to process his paperwork over New Years weekend and leave him in Holding by mistake for an extra four days. Sometimes paperwork gets lost, it happens.
 
2012-12-22 04:00:49 PM

Gyrfalcon: Mimic_Octopus: ElLoco: Ahem. Boulder police, if any of you are reading this... this is the kind of person you usually read about in the paper after he's found a firearm and shot up a crowd. Might want to make a mental note of bringing that up with the chief while you've got him there.

Or, you know, just let him plead to a misdemeanor and send him on his way. Whichever.

and what exactly would chief do ?

He could forget to process his paperwork over New Years weekend and leave him in Holding by mistake for an extra four days. Sometimes paperwork gets lost, it happens.


He could also have a word with the DA reminding him that plea bargains are optional and not required. And then put a friendly word in the judge's ear about how this guy is a bad egg, and it that affects bail *hint* or the sentencing phase *wink* if he gets to court... then so be it.
 
2012-12-22 04:11:48 PM
Valarius:
"I've never understood this whole "party school" thing. Hawai`i, Alaska, Nevada, California, Florida, Texas, New York, public universities all require their students to bust ass for grades.

It's usually been the Ivy Leagues that allegations of drunken rape emerge from, like Duke."

Drunk rapes happen at every school, but especially at frat-heavy spots.

I can't speak to the other states, but cal state schools are hardly difficult. For most majors anyway.
 
2012-12-22 05:09:52 PM

frak21: It might make me unpopular around here, but if I encounter a raccoon using a machete and a baseball bat, I'd probably kill him as well.


Poor wording from the headline, but seriously speaking they were light on details. Under what circumstances did they encounter and kill the raccoon? Was it wild or a pet? Was it acting strangely (in other words possibly rabid)? It makes the difference between cruelty or defending yourself and your pets/livestock.
 
2012-12-22 05:32:17 PM
Um yeah, I'm pretty sure he wasn't defending livestock when he beat the raccoon to death. If he was defending a pet, he wouldn't have been convicted, he wouldve gone to trial and claimed self defense.

But in all seriousness, sociopaths very often start with torturing animals before moving on to people. If we start a "cannot own guns" list, animal torturers would be worth looking at.
 
2012-12-22 05:36:13 PM

pyrotek85: frak21: It might make me unpopular around here, but if I encounter a raccoon using a machete and a baseball bat, I'd probably kill him as well.

Poor wording from the headline, but seriously speaking they were light on details. Under what circumstances did they encounter and kill the raccoon? Was it wild or a pet? Was it acting strangely (in other words possibly rabid)? It makes the difference between cruelty or defending yourself and your pets/livestock.


THIS.

Having livestock I trap and 'spike' (sharp rod through the cranium) anything that endangers my birdies.

CSB:
Have had to use an axe to kill a skunk in my basement, need up decapitating it as it was the most humane for the tight spot I cornered it in.

Yes, it sprayed :(

No, I am not a psycho, I was instructed to deal with it by my wife who just came home from the hospital with my four day old son.

//crazy what we will do in weird circumstances.
 
2012-12-22 05:50:49 PM

o'really: Um yeah, I'm pretty sure he wasn't defending livestock when he beat the raccoon to death. If he was defending a pet, he wouldn't have been convicted, he wouldve gone to trial and claimed self defense.

But in all seriousness, sociopaths very often start with torturing animals before moving on to people. If we start a "cannot own guns" list, animal torturers would be worth looking at.


I'm just wondering, the article doesn't say either way. I know I'm leaning towards it being abuse, but I'm just wondering how they got a hold of a raccoon.
 
2012-12-22 05:58:48 PM

pyrotek85: frak21: It might make me unpopular around here, but if I encounter a raccoon using a machete and a baseball bat, I'd probably kill him as well.

Poor wording from the headline, but seriously speaking they were light on details. Under what circumstances did they encounter and kill the raccoon? Was it wild or a pet? Was it acting strangely (in other words possibly rabid)? It makes the difference between cruelty or defending yourself and your pets/livestock.


I remember the story. He and another drunken college boy caught the raccoon in the trash and thought it would be fun to smack it with the bat. Then they discovered that animals don't always die quick and easy, so they went in the house to get a machete, unfortunately failing to castrate themselves in the process.
 
2012-12-22 06:07:34 PM
The farkers in this thread don't seem to me like the purist, only take mine with tooth and nail, type.

Though I don't know the circumstances of the raccoon killing, I can imagine where they could come up with a jury.

Regardless.
 
2012-12-22 06:11:25 PM
Most reasonable people (and judges) understand the difference between torturing an animal, and putting a dangerous one down as humanely as possible. Thus the conviction.
 
2012-12-22 06:15:29 PM
" unfortunately failing to castrate themselves in the process."

Tis a pity indeed.
 
2012-12-22 06:27:59 PM

special20: Brick-House: I give him points for not sexually assaulting the raccoon.

however, GIS "Sexually Assaulting a Raccoon" and look what picture comes up in the first position.
Look what shows second? Hmm?
[i.imgur.com image 409x312]


I thought subby was bad....

but that is worse.......
 
2012-12-22 06:35:07 PM

SnyderCat: special20: Brick-House: I give him points for not sexually assaulting the raccoon.

however, GIS "Sexually Assaulting a Raccoon" and look what picture comes up in the first position.
Look what shows second? Hmm?
[i.imgur.com image 409x312]

I thought subby was bad....
but that is worse.......


*hugs*
 
2012-12-22 11:44:08 PM
Not a word about this in the press here in Hawaii...
 
2012-12-23 04:22:57 PM

special20: SnyderCat: special20: Brick-House: I give him points for not sexually assaulting the raccoon.

however, GIS "Sexually Assaulting a Raccoon" and look what picture comes up in the first position.
Look what shows second? Hmm?
[i.imgur.com image 409x312]

I thought subby was bad....
but that is worse.......

*hugs*


//remember me? :D
 
2012-12-24 03:07:42 PM

SnyderCat: special20: SnyderCat: special20: Brick-House: I give him points for not sexually assaulting the raccoon.

however, GIS "Sexually Assaulting a Raccoon" and look what picture comes up in the first position.
Look what shows second? Hmm?
[i.imgur.com image 409x312]

I thought subby was bad....
but that is worse.......

*hugs*

//remember me? :D


It appears to me that I do.. ;)
 
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