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(ABC 27)   German scientists, apparently having nothing better to do, are going to try to clone the perfect Christmas tree   (abc27.com) divider line 42
    More: Silly, Xmas, office complex, morning-after pills, Caucasus, House GOP, U.S. Supreme Court  
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1387 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Dec 2012 at 10:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-21 08:39:40 PM
Der Ubertannenbaum!
 
2012-12-21 09:10:08 PM
Just what we need:

Germans cloning things.

Are they planning to grow the trees in Brazil?
 
2012-12-21 10:13:33 PM
Northern California christmas tree growers have the best clones.

cdn.ebaumsworld.com

www.thebongblog.com
 
2012-12-21 10:13:58 PM
img2.targetimg2.com

Here's your model.
/hot.
 
2012-12-21 10:14:13 PM
"No! You don't understand! The roots you were grafted onto were only the means to an end!"
 
2012-12-21 10:16:44 PM
Dies ist eine würdige Bemühung. Sie Menschen haben keine Ahnung, was die wahre Wissenschaft ist.
 
2012-12-21 10:17:11 PM
Not possible. My family had the perfect christmas tree some years back for a whole family reunion at my house. Uncle Ted got drunk and knocked it over and set the whole farking mess on fire.

Cajun Christmases are like that.

Heaux Heaux Heaux.....
 
2012-12-21 10:17:30 PM
Next logical step after perfecting defecation on video.
 
2012-12-21 10:19:55 PM
forums.pelicanparts.com

Do you know who ELSE experimented with Christmas trees?
 
2012-12-21 10:20:27 PM
Have they consulted with Clark Griswold yet?
 
2012-12-21 10:20:56 PM
They will all be a nice shade of aryan green.
 
2012-12-21 10:21:57 PM
I really don't want to know what they plan on doing with the "Less-than-perfect" trees.
 
2012-12-21 10:25:13 PM
www.gorestruly.com
He told me to clone a tree. This looks like a tree right? I'll clone this one.
 
2012-12-21 10:25:35 PM

fusillade762: Der Ubertannenbaum!



Oh great. Nazi Christmas trees.

How long before they start trying to kill all the Junipers?
 
2012-12-21 10:27:01 PM
Came to make a Third Reich reference, saw I was beaten to it, moving on.
 
2012-12-21 10:27:59 PM
They are searching a way to ensure that the sensitive saplings... grow into impressive specimens.

They just have to scratch that itch.

The fir is native to the Caucasus

Naturally.

is often cultivated on massive plantations in Germany

I'd have guessed Poland.
 
2012-12-21 10:28:04 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: I really don't want to know what they plan on doing with the "Less-than-perfect" trees.


Fireplace, duh.
 
2012-12-21 10:28:49 PM

Fluorescent Testicle: I really don't want to know what they plan on doing with the "Less-than-perfect" trees.


They will be cataloged, monitored, concentrated... and processed.
 
2012-12-21 10:31:11 PM

Makh: Fluorescent Testicle: I really don't want to know what they plan on doing with the "Less-than-perfect" trees.

Fireplace, duh.


I mean they will strip the ornaments off first.
 
2012-12-21 10:37:11 PM
They are searching a way to ensure that the sensitive saplings of the popular Nordmann fir species grow into impressive specimens.

farm7.static.flickr.com
Why did you have to call it that?
 
2012-12-21 10:37:55 PM

Makh: Makh: Fluorescent Testicle: I really don't want to know what they plan on doing with the "Less-than-perfect" trees.

Fireplace, duh.

I mean they will strip the ornaments off first.



And the tinsel, of course.
 
2012-12-21 10:39:52 PM
altjapan.typepad.com
 
2012-12-21 10:42:57 PM
Unfortunately this will begin with taking Poland. Sorry Poland.


But we get a Master Christmas tree!
 
2012-12-21 10:44:36 PM
Jeez, what is with Germans and their quest for genetic perfection?
 
2012-12-21 10:44:49 PM
Then all the Christmas trees will be clones of each other, just like bananas. Google "Gros Michel" for how that turned out, and may yet turn out again.
 
2012-12-21 10:49:53 PM

Amos Quito: fusillade762: Der Ubertannenbaum!


Oh great. Nazi Christmas trees.

How long before they start trying to kill all the Junipers?


Well, there's only one white tree that I know of; and it's currently rooted in fictional Gondor.

/ I think the junipers might be safe from the saw mill
 
2012-12-21 10:54:33 PM
Yes, make them all about this tall...
litreactor.com
...so kids can put the star on top.
 
2012-12-21 11:27:46 PM
Silly, Xmas, office complex, morning-after pills, Caucasus, House GOP, U.S. Supreme Court

Looks like the meta tags have picked up some kind of infection from the Politics Tab.
 
2012-12-21 11:30:04 PM

TomD9938: They are searching a way to ensure that the sensitive saplings... grow into impressive specimens.

They just have to scratch that itch.

The fir is native to the Caucasus

Naturally.

is often cultivated on massive plantations in Germany

I'd have guessed Poland.


Poland's where they put the furnaces to get rid of the inferior trees....
 
2012-12-21 11:34:41 PM

iheartscotch: Amos Quito: fusillade762: Der Ubertannenbaum!


Oh great. Nazi Christmas trees.

How long before they start trying to kill all the Junipers?

Well, there's only one white tree that I know of; and it's currently rooted in fictional Gondor.

/ I think the junipers might be safe from the saw mill



Birches have white bark, and "albino" redwoods (chlorophyll-less mutants that can survive because redwoods can draw sustenance through their roots' connections to the roots of neighboring redwoods) have white needles.

/also, you're welcome for that one in Gondor ;)
// its line was created in imitation of Telperion, the luminous silver tree of Valinor
 
2012-12-21 11:38:50 PM
imgc.allpostersimages.com

We were in a biblical frame of mind on the twenty-third of May 1943, at the Berghof. He had denied himself a Christmas tree because he knew that no tree could flourish in the shadow of so godlike a father! But when he heard what was theoretically possible, that I could create one day not his Christmas Tree, not even a carbon-copy but another original, he was thrilled by the idea! The right Christmas tree for the right future! A Christmas Tree tailor-made for the 1980s, 90s, 2000!
 
2012-12-21 11:59:05 PM
Those silly Bavarians should stick to stealing may poles.
 
2012-12-22 12:38:24 AM

Fista-Phobia: Those silly Bavarians should stick to stealing may poles.


I was going to go with "Well, they can't celebrate Festivus, they are always destroying the Poles"
 
2012-12-22 12:43:29 AM
My brother, Dr. Horticulture, told me about some people who were working on a glow-in-the-dark Christmas tree. (No need to buy lights!) It was a failure, but others used their research to come up with something even better. It was a broccoli hybrid that was too flashy for aphids to eat, or a cure for cancer, I don't remember what. Point is, stupid research often leads to useful discoveries.
 
2012-12-22 01:30:26 AM
Unfortunately, the final solution is to kill all the cedars.
 
2012-12-22 01:32:48 AM
Is their a link to any updates on this? Have they found a final solution?
 
2012-12-22 01:48:51 AM
First time I've checked Fark in like 5yrs and the worst headlines still get greenlit...tsk tsk
 
2012-12-22 01:57:45 AM
Ve haf eliminated all die Spruce!
 
2012-12-22 02:08:34 AM

dc-kid: First time I've checked Fark in like 5yrs and the worst headlines still get greenlit...tsk tsk


go away. come back in another 5 10 years and i assure you it will be better.
 
2012-12-22 09:03:50 AM
ZEE MASTER RACE... for trees
 
2012-12-22 10:15:19 AM
You know who else they tried to clone?
 
2012-12-22 12:40:04 PM
Come on Germany, there are much better things to clone:

img.celebies.com
 
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