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(Jalopnik)   North Korea made a video game. It's called Pyongyang Racer. This is not a joke   (jalopnik.com) divider line 77
    More: Amusing, Pyongyang Racer, North Koreans, Pyongyang, racing games, video games, private car, short supply, SNES  
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12105 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 10:40 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-20 06:19:46 PM
They really can't do anything right in North Korea.
 
2012-12-20 06:58:53 PM
Up ahead on the road is a car driven by Dear Leader, but you can never, ever catch up to it, much less pass it.
 
2012-12-20 07:16:23 PM
It can't be any worse than Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, right?

...

Right?
 
2012-12-20 07:23:55 PM
Getting wild, NK style:
 
img.gawkerassets.com
 
2012-12-20 08:52:49 PM
North Koreans probably have the best sex.
 
2012-12-20 09:07:14 PM
Nice graphics. Is it 2001 already?
 
2012-12-20 09:07:35 PM
It's been around for over 7 years according to the Amazon reviews.
 
2012-12-20 09:08:46 PM
Many died to bring you that game.
 
2012-12-20 09:15:52 PM
This sounds like the  Gymkata  of racing games.
 
 
I WANT to play it. Now.
 
2012-12-20 09:29:16 PM

Apos: This sounds like the  Gymkata  of racing games.


I WANT to play it. Now.


When you describe it like THAT, I'm in!
 
2012-12-20 09:32:03 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Apos: This sounds like the  Gymkata  of racing games.


I WANT to play it. Now.

When you describe it like THAT, I'm in!


Heh.....That's more like it!


m
 
2012-12-20 09:44:30 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Apos: This sounds like the  Gymkata  of racing games.


I WANT to play it. Now.

When you describe it like THAT, I'm in!


Why isn't Gymkata a videogame?
 
2012-12-20 09:52:41 PM

doglover: Why isn't Gymkata a videogame?


I'm not sure I want the answer to that. It'd be too depressing any which way.
 
2012-12-20 10:26:50 PM

St_Francis_P: They really can't do anything right in North Korea.


That's not true. They're pretty good at half-building massive hotels.
 
2012-12-20 10:42:07 PM
What Pyong might look like
gamefroot.com
There can be only Un...
 
2012-12-20 10:45:51 PM
You go top speed for 81 seconds then crash into the stratosphere.
 
2012-12-20 10:49:49 PM
They finally figured out how to reach out to the South at least.
 
2012-12-20 10:50:34 PM
Pyyyyyyongggganggg Raceeeer!!!1!!1!

/Also giant NK crabs.
 
2012-12-20 10:50:46 PM
i1127.photobucket.com

A much better Pyongyang driving game (mainly because you can blow up large sections of the city)
 
2012-12-20 10:53:47 PM
Is there anything the Great Leader can't do? He is such an inspiration to us all!
 
2012-12-20 10:53:53 PM
Is the game page farked for anyone else?
 
2012-12-20 10:55:55 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: It can't be any worse than Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing, right?

...

Right?


www.mirc.net
 
2012-12-20 10:59:00 PM
Oh, come on: Note the realistically empty roads. And the completed Ryugyong Hotel. Can't miss it.
 
2012-12-20 11:00:26 PM

A stranger in the Alps: www.mirc.net


:D

The most triumphant victory screen since "A WINNER IS YOU!"
 
2012-12-20 11:00:43 PM
I'd like to try it for shiats and giggles but I don't want to install it on my computer. Maybe in a VM.
 
2012-12-20 11:01:20 PM
speed-cover.net

/going to the store for something else, might look this up ... spent thousands of hours playing this game
//can't quite make it back to the mafia storage/buyer? Blow it up!
 
2012-12-20 11:04:39 PM
Hey, all you Farkers, get off that webpage, I'm tryin to play the game!
 
2012-12-20 11:04:49 PM

KarmicDisaster: Many died to bring you that game.


North Korea is run by Bothans?
 
2012-12-20 11:07:42 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Apos: This sounds like the  Gymkata  of racing games.


I WANT to play it. Now.

When you describe it like THAT, I'm in!


I just saw the trailer for Gymkata.  Wow.  How did I ever manage to not see this before?
 
2012-12-20 11:08:25 PM
Well, at least it can be played on computers with monochrome monitors.

metrometrics.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-20 11:08:31 PM
Pyongyang Racer is best racer.
 
2012-12-20 11:10:50 PM
what are the chances that downloading this game adds you to some Best Korean Happy Funtime and Totally not for espionage botnet?
 
2012-12-20 11:12:38 PM

ciberido: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Apos: This sounds like the  Gymkata  of racing games.


I WANT to play it. Now.

When you describe it like THAT, I'm in!

I just saw the trailer for Gymkata.  Wow.  How did I ever manage to not see this before?



I rectified that very mistake not too long ago. What a gloriously awful film.
 
2012-12-20 11:12:50 PM
img705.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-20 11:13:35 PM
Coming soon:

BEST GRAND THEFT AUTO
 
2012-12-20 11:17:04 PM
Rules of Pyongyang Racer:

- Make forward progress for Dear Leader.
- Have fun knowing for the first and only time what it is like to drive a car.
- You insert grains of rice in the coin slot, you die.
- You stare at educational woman, you die.
- You beat Dear Leader's high score, you get to pilot the next North Korean "satellite" to be launched into space. I hope you're good at pedaling and breathing vacuum.
 
2012-12-20 11:19:36 PM

The_Original_Roxtar: what are the chances that downloading this game adds you to some Best Korean Happy Funtime and Totally not for espionage botnet?


Was thinking the same thing. Treat as suspected foreign malware.

Only install in a stand-alone machine away from any network connection, and only install from a non-Admin login, then completely wipe the drive afterwards.
 
2012-12-20 11:24:51 PM

The_Original_Roxtar: what are the chances that downloading this game adds you to some Best Korean Happy Funtime and Totally not for espionage botnet?


I seriously doubt it would be anything Norton couldn't take care of.
 
2012-12-20 11:29:25 PM
img687.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-20 11:29:42 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: What Pyong might look like

There can be only Un...


I say well played old chap
 
2012-12-20 11:32:50 PM

The_Original_Roxtar: what are the chances that downloading this game adds you to some Best Korean Happy Funtime and Totally not for espionage botnet?


100%

We are an evil imperialist force at war with them you know.

Loose... er... downloading sinks ships.
 
2012-12-20 11:39:59 PM
img141.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-20 11:42:37 PM
What a coincidence! The US military has a war game called "Pyongyang Eraser."
 
2012-12-20 11:55:29 PM
They've created video games before. They're stuffed to the gills with malware.
 
2012-12-20 11:56:29 PM
media.tumblr.com

Rad and bichin'
 
2012-12-20 11:57:21 PM
And here's a picture of Kim Jong Ill playing it in his moms basement.

wonkette.com
 
2012-12-21 12:01:19 AM

Isildur: They've created video games before. They're stuffed to the gills with malware.


Whoops, meant to provide a link. Here you go.
 
2012-12-21 12:01:59 AM
Blank
i46.tinypic.com

have an XCF if wanted
 
2012-12-21 12:06:54 AM
It seems Korygroup.com is down already. What the fark guys, I wanted to play that!
 
2012-12-21 12:08:58 AM

doglover: North Koreans probably have the best sex.


Yeah, malnutrition and slow starvation are known for making people energetic.
 
2012-12-21 12:18:35 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: [media.tumblr.com image 320x200]

Rad and bichin'


Ooh, what's the name of that game? I remember playing something like that back in my day..
 
2012-12-21 12:19:22 AM

Medic Zero: doglover: North Koreans probably have the best sex.

Yeah, malnutrition and slow starvation are known for making people energetic.


As long as they don't bite...
 
2012-12-21 12:22:24 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Rad and bichin'


Is that Stunts? That game was awesome.
 
2012-12-21 01:06:04 AM

Medic Zero: doglover: North Koreans probably have the best sex.

Yeah, malnutrition and slow starvation are known for making people energetic.


When else do they have the chance for release?
 
2012-12-21 01:14:48 AM
Meh. Driving a bus to Las Vegas is better than this game.
 
2012-12-21 01:33:49 AM
Can never play a driving game again.

Nothing has ever been better. 8 linked at the bowling alley, drinking a beverage or two. Beat the hell out of those machines. Nice farking cabs.
sega-addicts.murnaumusic.com
 
2012-12-21 02:19:30 AM
Epic!

No wait. that's not the word. Let me think....
 
2012-12-21 03:13:37 AM
Why is there no youtube video of this epic game?
 
2012-12-21 04:04:53 AM
imageshack.us
 
2012-12-21 04:30:21 AM

Medic Zero: doglover: North Koreans probably have the best sex.

Yeah, malnutrition and slow starvation are known for making people energetic.


It doesn't seem to slow the baby factories in Africa none.
 
2012-12-21 06:14:09 AM

ciberido: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Apos: This sounds like the  Gymkata  of racing games.


I WANT to play it. Now.

When you describe it like THAT, I'm in!

I just saw the trailer for Gymkata.  Wow.  How did I ever manage to not see this before?


That just made my 4:15 am
 
2012-12-21 07:35:22 AM

StoPPeRmobile: Can never play a driving game again.

Nothing has ever been better. 8 linked at the bowling alley, drinking a beverage or two. Beat the hell out of those machines. Nice farking cabs.
[sega-addicts.murnaumusic.com image 550x300]


While I desperately want 2 of those for my house, I have to complain about the fact that the computer slows the leader down to let the other players catch up.
 
2012-12-21 07:57:02 AM

shizbgby_v2: Random Anonymous Blackmail: [media.tumblr.com image 320x200]

Rad and bichin'

Ooh, what's the name of that game? I remember playing something like that back in my day..


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_Drivin'

/played it every morning during the late 80s, getting a kick...
 
2012-12-21 08:11:15 AM
i266.photobucket.com

Thanks zedster
 
2012-12-21 08:12:22 AM

OtherLittleGuy: shizbgby_v2: Random Anonymous Blackmail: [media.tumblr.com image 320x200]

Rad and bichin'

Ooh, what's the name of that game? I remember playing something like that back in my day..

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hard_Drivin'

/played it every morning during the late 80s, getting a kick...


Yes! I remember playing this in an arcade in Atlantic City back in the early 90s. Good times...
 
2012-12-21 08:16:31 AM
i266.photobucket.com

Eh, one more.
 
2012-12-21 08:27:35 AM

Harry Freakstorm: [i266.photobucket.com image 640x360]

Eh, one more.


Q+D
i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-21 10:52:13 AM
"Here he comes, here comes Pyongyang racer, he's demo--- I mean highly restricted citizen with no rights and an ass backwards country led by a lunatic on wheels"
 
2012-12-21 11:14:11 AM

Popcorn Johnny: It's been around for over 7 years according to the Amazon reviews.


It would probably sucked in 2005 as well.

I wonder why they didn't just rip of someones engine and used that. What would the owner do, sue them?
 
2012-12-21 11:21:03 AM

zedster: Harry Freakstorm: [i266.photobucket.com image 640x360]

Eh, one more.

Q+D
[i46.tinypic.com image 640x360]


You weren't far off with your oxcart
farm9.staticflickr.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/kernbeisser/8190485629/in/photostream/
 
2012-12-21 12:38:40 PM
Tapeyourdong 2 Missle.
 
2012-12-21 01:44:17 PM

Snapper Carr: [i1127.photobucket.com image 400x300]

A much better Pyongyang driving game (mainly because you can blow up large sections of the city)


such a great game
the second was meh
but the first 'mercenaries' was awesome & i wish they would make another like it
 
2012-12-21 02:04:11 PM

Langdon Alger: "Here he comes, here comes Pyongyang racer, he's demo--- I mean highly restricted citizen with no rights and an ass backwards country led by a lunatic on wheels"




ThiswasthefirstthingithoughhtofwhenIreadthisheadline HA HA!
 
2012-12-21 03:20:51 PM

phrawgh: Medic Zero: doglover: North Koreans probably have the best sex.

Yeah, malnutrition and slow starvation are known for making people energetic.

It doesn't seem to slow the baby factories in Africa none.


Sure. I didn't say it stopped people from having sex, his contention was Norks have the best sex. I find that highly unlikely. Healthy, happy, well fed, people are bound to have better sex.
 
2012-12-21 04:40:42 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-21 07:26:31 PM

ciberido: I just saw the trailer for Gymkata. Wow. How did I ever manage to not see this before?


sewnandsilent: That just made my 4:15 am



When you finally get around to that film, you are in for a TREAT!

"The skill of gymnastics! The kill of karate!"
 
2012-12-23 05:06:35 AM

Medic Zero: phrawgh: Medic Zero: doglover: North Koreans probably have the best sex.

Yeah, malnutrition and slow starvation are known for making people energetic.

It doesn't seem to slow the baby factories in Africa none.

Sure. I didn't say it stopped people from having sex, his contention was Norks have the best sex. I find that highly unlikely. Healthy, happy, well fed, people are bound to have better sex.


Also, being legally required to scream "OH BRAVE GENEROUS MARVELOUS BRILLIANT LEADER!!! OH BRAVE GENEROUS MARVELOUS BRILLIANT LEADER!!!" when climaxing can be a bit distracting.
 
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