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(Gawker)   Dear idiots on Twitter: Yes, reindeer actually exist   (gawker.com) divider line 108
    More: Dumbass, Middle English, Lapland, Father Christmas  
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13418 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 10:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 11:56:39 PM  

Ishkur: stuffy: FYI they don't fly. Tested it myself. Don't ask it was messy.

approves:
[static.stickam.com image 320x178]


WE DON'T NEED NO STEENKING BADGERS!


/damn you fat-insane-teahadist-Victoria Jackson for ruining my ability to enjoy young-airheaded-cute-Victoria Jackson and completely ruining that movie for me
 
2012-12-20 11:58:08 PM  
Real:
t0.gstatic.com

Not real:
t0.gstatic.com

Real:
t3.gstatic.com

Not real:
t3.gstatic.com

Are you farking kidding me???
t0.gstatic.comt2.gstatic.comt0.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-21 12:01:13 AM  

schrepjm: Dear commenter on the site who said the NRA wants to give these people guns: No, no they do not.


True.  How are gun manufacturers going to make money if they just give the guns away?

America will only be free and safe once every undiagnosed schizophrenic, elementary school teacher, and 8-year-old child is armed to the teeth with guns they paid for.
 
2012-12-21 12:01:41 AM  
"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Can't remember the joke, just the punchline.
 
2012-12-21 12:01:44 AM  
See, I keep saying Twitter must be destroyed, and for good reason.
 
2012-12-21 12:02:04 AM  

swingerofbirches: I did have this weird time once where I couldn't remember if rhinoceroses currently exist or were one of the dinosaurs and are extinct.


Interestingly, the Kalmuck word for 'rhinoceros' (/orŋgǝ/) may be part of a larger lexical category (Proto-Altaic *orV), which may be related to Proto-Tungusic 'reindeer' (*oron).
 
2012-12-21 12:07:38 AM  

some_beer_drinker: and they taste good too.


Yeah caribou is delicious, it's tied with moose for my favorite tasting game.
 
2012-12-21 12:07:51 AM  

wellreadneck: Gyrfalcon: wellreadneck: I've met two people who argued that all ponies eventually become horses.

I knew some people like that.

When I was eight.

Since most of my peers had ponies, I'd have been surprised to hear it back then. I was stunned to hear a middle-aged drunk slur "but they live for, like, thirty years".


images3.wikia.nocookie.net

When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony.  He was a beautiful pony and I loved him!
 
2012-12-21 12:12:57 AM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Can't remember the joke, just the punchline.


An America couple was being shown around Moscow one day, when the man felt a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining," he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me," she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain," he said.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.
"Let's not fight about it!" the man said. "Let's ask our guide, Rudolph, whether it's officially raining or snowing."
As their tour guide approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course," he replied officiously.
But the woman insisted, "I know that it felt like snow!"
The man quietly replied, "Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"
 
2012-12-21 12:17:22 AM  

borg: The man quietly replied, "Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU8vaWbricQ#t=9s
 
2012-12-21 12:18:48 AM  
Just wait until they find out about jesus.
 
2012-12-21 12:21:21 AM  

borg: wellreadneck: Gyrfalcon: wellreadneck: I've met two people who argued that all ponies eventually become horses.

I knew some people like that.

When I was eight.

Since most of my peers had ponies, I'd have been surprised to hear it back then. I was stunned to hear a middle-aged drunk slur "but they live for, like, thirty years".

[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 850x680]

When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony.  He was a beautiful pony and I loved him!


Who leaves a country that has ponies?
 
2012-12-21 12:28:31 AM  

borg: When I was a little girl in Poland, we all had ponies. My sister had pony, my cousin had pony.  He was a beautiful pony and I loved him!


If Manya is on Twitter, you might convince her that those ponies came to the States, too, and are now quite successful, appearing in Budweiser commercials each Superbowl.
 
2012-12-21 12:33:28 AM  

jaytkay: some_beer_drinker: and they taste good too.

I disagree, reindeer bites can be pretty nasty


A reindeer bit my sister once
 
2012-12-21 12:35:06 AM  
Did any one explain to them that they can't fly?
 
2012-12-21 12:46:01 AM  

Fluorescent Testicle: DutchDynamite: Americans haven't changed much since then i guess.......

It's not just Americans. The moronic staff of my Australian high school fell for both an Onion article (going so far as to ban Harry Potter books completely) and the dihydrogen monoxide gag (which I pulled on them myself to see if the gullibility thing was a one-off or not). People in general are dumb as bricks.

/CSB.


Skrew you, buddy. Some of my best friends are bricks.
 
2012-12-21 01:08:31 AM  

Gyrfalcon: What?

[reads article]

WHAT THE F*CK?!??!


This being the internet and all I have to ask: Are you surprised that reindeer are real or that people really didn't know this?
 
2012-12-21 01:11:35 AM  

Lord Dimwit: azumangadaioh.jpg


LOL. I forgot about that. Tomo is stupid.
 
2012-12-21 01:12:22 AM  

p51d007: Notice most of those photos from twitter are nothing but a bunch of tw*ts?
Reason 3,503 why Obama got elected.... more LOW information voters


And you know how these people voted because...?
 
2012-12-21 01:13:10 AM  

Kevin72: Was it wrong of me to tell 2nd graders what a douchebag actually is and what it's/used to be used for?


Depends on context.

Could you explain how it came to be used in a derogitory way towards a person?
 
2012-12-21 01:13:50 AM  

DutchDynamite: commisioner: And this is why the rest of the world mocks America.
Seriously, these people are allowed to breed.


In 1995 my brother studied in the US and told his classmates that in Holland people live in windmills and dinosaurs got extinct only 10 years ago. They believed him.

Americans haven't changed much since then i guess.......


I once had an American friend thoroughly convinced that I lived in an igloo and got to school by dogsled.

To be fair, he wasn't very bright.
 
2012-12-21 01:15:50 AM  

Mr. Fuzzypaws: Not exactly. Reindeer are just domestic caribou.


Nor are they all domesticated.
 
2012-12-21 01:17:00 AM  

dookdookdook: schrepjm: Dear commenter on the site who said the NRA wants to give these people guns: No, no they do not.

True.  How are gun manufacturers going to make money if they just give the guns away?

America will only be free and safe once every undiagnosed schizophrenic, elementary school teacher, and 8-year-old child is armed to the teeth with guns they paid for.


That's not what I meant saying ,nor was it anyone's position. Ever.
 
2012-12-21 01:17:25 AM  
If you're that ignorant about something so basic why would you tell everybody about it on Twitter? Why reveal to the world just how little you really know?

/never made sense to me
 
2012-12-21 01:36:01 AM  

andrewagill: swingerofbirches: I've been a vegetarian ever since I became aware that the chicken I loved eating so much was the same cute chicken I saw on Sesame Street.

Uh... I hate to break it to you, but muppets are not real.


Don't watch much TV, do ya buddy? (shakes head incredulously)
 
2012-12-21 02:05:33 AM  

swingerofbirches:
I've been a vegetarian ever since I became aware that the chicken I loved eating so much was the same cute chicken I saw on Sesame Street.


Chickens are nasty, mean, stupid, vile little dinosaurs of creatures, and deserve to be eaten. They are nothing like their Muppet versions.

Other than that, CSB ;)
 
2012-12-21 02:07:38 AM  

Underwater Bystander: If you're that ignorant about something so basic why would you tell everybody about it on Twitter? Why reveal to the world just how little you really know?

/never made sense to me


I believe the proper term is "attention whore", and it doesn't matter if it's good or bad to them, as long as they get it.
 
2012-12-21 02:17:17 AM  

andrewagill: Uh... I hate to break it to you, but muppets are not real.


cdn3.sbnation.com

"I'll tell ya what's not real."

"What?"

"This guy's sense of humor!"

D'OOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO
 
2012-12-21 02:29:55 AM  

andrewagill: swingerofbirches: I've been a vegetarian ever since I became aware that the chicken I loved eating so much was the same cute chicken I saw on Sesame Street.

Uh... I hate to break it to you, but muppets are not real.


Pitabred: Muppet


I wasn't careful with my language. I was using Sesame Street as a stand-in for whatever I was watching at the time, which likely could have been Sesame Street. It's one of my oldest memories, probably going back to when I was three or four, but I don't remember specifically what was on TV. I just distinctly remember being called to dinner and refusing to go because I had just realized that the animal on TV was the same as the one we were going to eat. Maybe it was big bird . . . but that doesn't make sense. I don't know what it was, but something clicked. And I stopped eating meat, just like that. Still don't. Although, I've lost my morals, now I'm just grossed out by meat. I take fish oil and other vitamins coated in gelatin so, I'm not the moralistic person I was as a child.

But you know it is possible they showed a live chicken on Sesame Street. The old Sesame Street (this would have been mid 80s) used to have more "organic" feeling stuff, not all the cartoons and annoying Elmo. It had that great music and that girl dancing around while they talked about how factories make peanut butter ("It takes a lot of little nuts to make a jar of peanut butter!")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmvvaHBk5aQ
 
2012-12-21 02:54:05 AM  
DownDaRiver I was a twelve year old at summer camp 1968 and heard one older kid call someone that. Kids namecall each other all the time. And then didn't hear it again for 38 years when I heard a 6th grader call a classmate that and I was all WOW. I told a female teacher about that during lunch and she almost died laughing. Because women stopped using douchebags about the time the epithet stopped, douches didn't help as the V cleans naturally. When the epithet resurrected, it came back full force, possibly thanks to Jon Stewart. If you're asking why it's derogitory (sic) , ask Barney Google or else join the "Reindeer are really real?" Club.
 
2012-12-21 03:17:38 AM  

swingerofbirches: It had that great music and that girl dancing around while they talked about how factories make peanut butter ("It takes a lot of little nuts to make a jar of peanut butter!")http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmvvaHBk5aQ


I see your peanut factory and raise you Wondershowzen's hot dog factory.
 
2012-12-21 03:36:01 AM  
When I was a kid there were reindeer in our city's Christmas parade every year. They were from a reindeer farm in the Redmond, Oregon area. Santa's sleigh had wheels on it to make it easier for the reindeer to pull since snow on the Willamette Valley floor was rare then as it is now.
 
2012-12-21 04:02:23 AM  
I remember that, when I was very little, I thought bats weren't real, because the only time I ever saw them was watching cartoons where they were supposed to help create a spooky vibe. Of course, I discovered they were real by the time I was six. How do you reach adulthood without picking up certain basic facts about reality? How intellectually sheltered do you have to be? And for fark's sake, "reindeers"? Really??
 
2012-12-21 04:05:06 AM  

dookdookdook: borg: The man quietly replied, "Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TU8vaWbricQ#t=9s


Thank you so much! I needed a good laugh to start my day... and you (and Who's Line..) provided it. Thanks, again!
 
2012-12-21 04:36:58 AM  
It seems like a lot of people would benefit from a trip to this place or a local equivalent. This particular one is pretty great though.

shubenacadie wildlife park
 
2012-12-21 05:40:16 AM  
OMG have been on FARK for 10 years! - that calls for a beer!

/irock
 
2012-12-21 05:48:23 AM  
I can't believe I just found out that Twitter is a real thing!
 
2012-12-21 06:57:36 AM  
I think the phrase "idiots on twitter" is redundant.
 
2012-12-21 07:47:13 AM  

big pig peaches: Right, next you'll tell us the mythical platypus really exists in an enchanted land down under.


Yes, and dropbears.
 
2012-12-21 07:53:26 AM  

FizixJunkee: tuffsnake: All the people from twitter quoted there are women, maybe it's a gender specific thing

I think they're members of a gender willing to admit how stupid they are. Dudes tend not to want to advertise that they were wrong about something.


A fairly intelligent friend of ours did not know reindeer were real until about 3 years ago, putting her at 27. She went absolutely apeshiat on us for laughing at her, and I believe the core of her defense was that she grew up in muthafarkin' Brooklyn, there ain't no goddamn reindeer there less they wanna get SHOT! I hadn't seen her be that black since we proposed going to a water park and she looked up the rides online and watched a video of a very gentle sort of hilly slip-an-slide and went "aw HELLLL no" and closed her laptop.
 
2012-12-21 07:54:18 AM  

some_beer_drinker: and they taste good too.


IKEA used to have reindeer in the cafe on premisses, but I suspect it got too traumatic for children to think that they were eating Rudolf, so they replaced them with swedish meatballs.
 
2012-12-21 07:58:26 AM  
Can't find it but my favorite is Dilbert's pointy haired boss going to the secretary to declare they needed a name for a product that allows twits to write blogs on their cell phones.  She suggests twitter.
 
2012-12-21 08:07:56 AM  
It's almost as if these idiots think the human race and all of reality simply popped into existence on the day they were born without any other explanation. That, or they are just perma-stoned from all of their parents' drug use in the 90s.
 
2012-12-21 08:10:18 AM  

commisioner: And this is why the rest of the world mocks America.
Seriously, these people are allowed to breed.


You know who else was European and frowned on certain groups reproducing?
 
2012-12-21 08:11:23 AM  

StrangeQ: It's almost as if these idiots think the human race and all of reality simply popped into existence on the day they were born without any other explanation. That, or they are just perma-stoned from all of their parents' drug use in the 90s.


They sound like ignorant urbanites to me.
 
2012-12-21 08:22:20 AM  
My sister thought that Hackensack was some fictitious place Billy Joel made up for his song "Moving Out."
 
2012-12-21 08:24:23 AM  

kim jong-un: StrangeQ: It's almost as if these idiots think the human race and all of reality simply popped into existence on the day they were born without any other explanation. That, or they are just perma-stoned from all of their parents' drug use in the 90s.

They sound like ignorant urbanites to me.


So the former. You could probably ask them how people communicated before there were iphones and you would get the same blank stares.
 
2012-12-21 08:49:48 AM  

stuffy: FYI they don't fly. Tested it myself. Don't ask it was messy.


Nothing like turkeys, huh?
 
2012-12-21 08:55:53 AM  
Dear Subby-

"Idiots on Twitter" is redundant.
 
2012-12-21 09:14:56 AM  

FizixJunkee: The plural is "reindeer", right? 'Cause several of those tweeters twats in that article put an unnecessary "s" at the end...


FTFY.
 
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