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(Salon)   Today's reason for the Sandy Hook shootings is *shakes Magic 8-ball* Jon Stewart   (salon.com) divider line 205
    More: Asinine, Magic 8-Ball, Sandy Hook, cultural war, The New York Times Best Seller list, god, magic  
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7108 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Dec 2012 at 10:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-21 12:20:35 AM  
from the wiki: Rosenberg was born in 1967 near Rochester, New York. His father had been raised in an Orthodox Jewish household and his mother was born into a Methodist family of English descent.[6][7] His parents were agnostic and became born-again Christians when he was a child, in 1973.[8] At the age of 17, he became a born-again Christian and now identifies as a Jewish believer in Jesus.
 
2012-12-21 12:21:16 AM  

diaphoresis: Jon Stewart forced me to have an abortion. /That is all


Too bad he didn't force your mom to have one.
 
2012-12-21 12:26:04 AM  

ox45tallboy: Insatiable Jesus: Do these people ever cite any of the rewards bestowed upon us by God when we do good?

I think your username just answered your own question.

Basically, since bad sh*t keeps happening, it means that we've never been good enough, so apparently no one knows exactly what sorts of good things God will do if only we'll do exactly as the fundies say.

So what exactly caused hurricanes back when we were intolerant of homosexuality?


I'm going with huge pressure differentials in the atmosphere, but if what these people seem to know about how God operates is true, it might be caused by any sort of nakedness.

Maybe there really is a secret Jewish cabal, elders who know the truth: that the Israelites didn't really dash all the babies heads on rocks in some town as commanded by God. But God knows the truth and he's been punishing us ever since. So until we kill off that civilization, we are all doomed to deadly weather, school massacres and the Kardashians. But it's been so long that nobody knows who the descendants of those people are, except that they are not Jewish. And the solution is to kill everybody else in the region until God is happy with us again.
 
2012-12-21 12:29:20 AM  

Insatiable Jesus: Do these people ever cite any of the rewards bestowed upon us by God when we do good?


Well, if we did "good" there wouldn't be a Kenyan Muslin in the White House who's only there because he fixed a couple of elections. We are clearly falling short.
 
2012-12-21 12:29:29 AM  

ox45tallboy: So what exactly caused hurricanes back when we were intolerant of homosexuality?


Why, only the greatest scapegoat ever invented.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-21 12:35:00 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: diaphoresis: Jon Stewart forced me to have an abortion. /That is all

Too bad he didn't force your mom to have one.


He did, but you lived anyway.
 
2012-12-21 12:36:08 AM  
God has a master plan here, just sit back and enjoy the ride
 
2012-12-21 12:40:30 AM  

Warlordtrooper: Guns do not cause people to be mentally scarred for life.


This came from another thread, it's not mine, but I think it appropriate here...

There's a Dad that just spent two hours staring at a bicycle he won't be putting together that might disagree with you.
 
2012-12-21 12:43:41 AM  

Insatiable Jesus: Maybe there really is a secret Jewish cabal, elders who know the truth: that the Israelites didn't really dash all the babies heads on rocks in some town as commanded by God. But God knows the truth and he's been punishing us ever since. So until we kill off that civilization, we are all doomed to deadly weather, school massacres and the Kardashians. But it's been so long that nobody knows who the descendants of those people are, except that they are not Jewish. And the solution is to kill everybody else in the region until God is happy with us again.


Okay, so... will killing off the gays help prevent the hurricanes or not? Or maybe its the gays who are the descendants of the babies whose heads didn't get bashed on the rocks. Or something.
 
2012-12-21 12:45:31 AM  

ox45tallboy: Warlordtrooper: Guns do not cause people to be mentally scarred for life.

This came from another thread, it's not mine, but I think it appropriate here...

There's a Dad that just spent two hours staring at a bicycle he won't be putting together that might disagree with you.


It is temporary... until he ends his own life.

90+% of all life's problems are temporary.
78.9% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Both of these are true
 
2012-12-21 12:49:28 AM  

ox45tallboy: Okay, so... will killing off the gays help prevent the hurricanes or not?


Look, whatever makes Pat Robertson and Zombie Falwell happy is fine with me.
 
2012-12-21 01:15:14 AM  
These people are so intensely stupid that they do now have the capacity to even fathom that they may be morons. Anyone who does not have the capacity for truthful self-evaluation should be exterminated or made into slaves for the useful members of society.
 
2012-12-21 01:40:30 AM  
FTA: "Rosenberg, who has previously linked Hurricane Sandy to abortion rights, is an evangelical who writes about End Times..."

and that was as far as I got: evangelical = functionally brain damaged
 
2012-12-21 01:53:20 AM  
You know, if Jesus had been armed, those Jews wouldn't have been able to nail him up.

Just sayin'.
 
2012-12-21 02:09:19 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: from the wiki: Rosenberg was born in 1967 near Rochester, New York. His father had been raised in an Orthodox Jewish household and his mother was born into a Methodist family of English descent.[6][7] His parents were agnostic and became born-again Christians when he was a child, in 1973.[8] At the age of 17, he became a born-again Christian and now identifies as a Jewish believer in Jesus.


Good lord, no wonder he's f*cked in the head.
 
2012-12-21 02:10:11 AM  
Normally I am all for anything that blames Jon Stewart for anything,but....cmon.
 
2012-12-21 02:44:22 AM  
We get it, he's Jewish

sorry if this has already been covered
 
2012-12-21 02:54:39 AM  

whidbey: Look, whatever makes Pat Robertson and Zombie Falwell happy is fine with me.


Zombie Falwell doesn't scare me. If he's right about the existence of heaven and hell, then he's in hell now paying for his evil deeds perpetuated in the name of Christianity. But he's not evil enough to come back. For that you need Al Davis, who I'm not entirely convinced is not still out there eating the souls of children. When I heard he had died, I said, "How can they tell?".

blogimages.thescore.com
 
2012-12-21 02:56:00 AM  

zerkalo: We get it, he's Jewish

sorry if this has already been covered


If you look at his bio, his father was Jewish. His mother was not. Under Jewish law and custom, you must be born from a Jewish mother to be considered Jewish.
 
2012-12-21 02:59:27 AM  
Okay, Salon:
i48.photobucket.com

When you have to spend a paragraph explaining who the guy is, maybe it's best not to talk about him and let folks know of his whackjobbery.
 
2012-12-21 03:03:32 AM  
Let's just go with the claims that sin and godlessness are responsible for all of the evils in the world for discussion's sake.

James 2:10 of the King James version of the bible states "For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point of it has become accountable for all of it." This is commonly interpreted with other verses into the common phrase "all sins are created equal int he eyes of the Lord".

So let's just say, for sake of argument, that homosexuality is a sin (and let's just be clear that I do not believe it to be).

The rate of homosexuals in the Unites States is between 2 and 4% of the total population.

The rate of obesity in the United States is 35.7% of the total population.

Gluttony is according to Christian doctrine, not only clearly a sin, but one of the seven deadly sins.

If those morons are right, and all of these horrible things are happening because of sin, I've got news for them. It's a hell of a lot more likely to be the fault of the obese than the homosexuals. But let's say all the overweight people in the US don't have a single pound on them caused by overeating, they have zero complicity in their condition. Let's look at a few other sins.

Why don't we start with those who commit adultery, perhaps? Those rates are between 25 and 30% of the total population (depending on which study you go with) and actually higher in the evangelical population, just as are divorce rates.

How about lust? Sex surrounds us in our culture. Lust sells. It is a primary method of marketing. What percentage of adults do you think feel sexual attraction to someone other than their partner? That rate is virtually 100% of the population, including evangelicals. There is not a straight man on this earth who doesn't like to look at nice breasts or a pretty woman, or thought, in the common vernacular "dat ass!" from time to time.

Or lying. It has been studied extensively, and the old adage "everybody lies" holds true. And lying is actually named as one of the six things G-d "hates" in Proverbs 6:16-19. To quote: "There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers."

I don't know about you, but I don't see homosexuality anywhere on that list of things G-d hates. But I do see a condemnation of those who kill, lie, think more highly of themselves than others, manipulate, those who are eager to do harm to others, and those who, for lack of a better terminology, stir the pot. Sounds a hell of a lot more like Huckabee, Dobson, Robinson, and those Westboro Baptist Church assholes than homosexuals.

Bad things don't happen because we have angered a deity. Bad things happen because, as much as we would like to be able to, we cannot control all factors in life. There is no control. There is nothing but the illusion of control overlying a deep-seated chaos. Religion as espoused by these disrespectful, arrogant, judgmental and hateful bigots is in itself a force of evil. And to anybody who nods their heads in assent to what these weak, truly nasty people espouse, I truly hope their bible is correct, because it would soothe my soul to see them judged by their G-d when their curtain call comes.
 
2012-12-21 03:34:00 AM  
There have been like 20 anti-god greenlights to about 1 mental health greenlight regarding the shooting
 
2012-12-21 03:53:51 AM  
So, I've made it pretty clear that I personally run toward the permissive side of the spectrum on gun regulation, and I haven't been subtle about the fact that I think that people that suddenly magically care about homicides now that there's been a high profile one in the news, when they gave something less than a shiat before (despite the one incident not really altering the overall murder rate in the slightest) and want to address the problem only in the most superficial and least effective manner possible for PR purposes (federal AWB clone proposals) are not only bad policymakers, but bad people.

But... still, what the fark, dude. You don't counter stupid proposals by making equally stupid proposals in a different direction. Politics isn't an "add something dumb and right-wing to something dumb and left-wing and the dialogue is suddenly reasonable" game. You have to at least make some kind of goddamned effort to actually be reasonable. Obama has managed it, take your damned cues from him, at least on general approach if not substance.

//There are certainly aspects of gun control that would be beneficial. Closing the "private collector" loophole by not allowing you to use the term if you sell more than one or maybe two weapons a year would be a good plan, for instance. Restricting 30-round magazines to people licensed for full automatic, who are much more carefully licensed and tracked, is maybe not so effective but at least attacks the problem from a practical angle instead of an "I don't even know enough about guns to tell an assault rifle form a semi-automatic based on an assault rifle frame" perspective.

ox45tallboy: Warlordtrooper: Guns do not cause people to be mentally scarred for life.

This came from another thread, it's not mine, but I think it appropriate here...

There's a Dad that just spent two hours staring at a bicycle he won't be putting together that might disagree with you.


Personification for literary purposes is not the same thing as inanimate objects actually having agency. A car didn't run down your dead cousin, nor did a bottle of Jack, the responsibility lies with the drunk-ass idiot behind the wheel. Same applies to murderers with their weapons. Given that China had a spree knife attack like a week before our gun-related one, it's fairly clear that crazies gonna craze. We can take reasonable steps to try to cut them off, but the constitution means we pretty much have to attack the problem from a threat identification and neutralization perspective, not a trying to subvert the problem by nullifying a civil right perspective.

The bill of rights beats the popular vote even when the public is spending its annual 15 minutes pretending to care about human life before going back to cracking jokes about dudes hopped up on bath salts trying to eat people, basically.
 
2012-12-21 04:00:06 AM  
Here's what I've got after some searching.  List is a little modified:


Things that cause gun violence and therefore should be politicized:
Not enough God in schools.
Not enough guns in schools.
Teacher's Unions.
Not enough manly men in schools.
Too many womenfolk in schools.
Too many children in schools.
Mental illness.
Autism / Asperger's Syndrome
Self-Esteem Movement
Goths
Video games.
Fisher Price Toys?!
Hollywood
The media!
LIBOR Scandal
Hunger Games
Jon Stewart.
The OBAMA Regime Brainwashed him!
Abortion pills.
Gay marriage.
Atheists.
The Theory of Evolution
The 1968 Democratic Convention

Things that don't cause violence and thus cannot be discussed at the moment:
Unfettered access to guns by crazy people


Not enough God in Schools

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/huckabee-schools-place -of- carnage-because-we-systematically

Not enough guns in schools

http://www.absolutesurvivalist.com/1/post/2012/12/im-a-dead-sandy- hook -teacher.html

Teacher's Unions

http://www.teapartynation.com/profiles/blog/show?id=3355873:Blo gPost:2 364503&xgs=1&xg_source=msg_share_post

Not enough manly men in schools AND Too many womenfolk in schools

http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/335996/newtown-answers-n ro-symp osium#

Too many children in schools

http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/12/the_strategic_concentration _of_ modern_children.html

Mental Illness AND Self-Esteem Movement

http://townhall.com/columnists/nealboortz/2012/12/18/newtown-conne ctic ut-there-is-no-why-n1469185/page/full/

Autism / Asperger's Syndrome

http://www.mediaite.com/print/fox-news-and-the-new-york-times-abet -med ia-effort-to-falsely-link-autism-with-ct-shooting/

Goths

http://www.thenation.com/article/171866/roots-rampage#

Video Games

http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2012/12/18/ct-killings-reignite-debate -abo ut-violence-in-video-games/

Fisher Price Toys?! (Only Glen Beck could think this up)

http://twitter.com/glennbeck/status/280876630023475200/photo/1

Hollywood

http://blogs.wsj.com/peggynoonan/2012/12/17/newtown/

The media!

http://online.wsj.com/article/best_of_the_web_today.html

LIBOR Scandal AND Hunger Games

http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/12/newtown-libor-hunger-ga mes- theories.php

Jon Stewart

http://www.salon.com/2012/12/19/right_wing_author_jon_stewart_part _of_ the_culture_that_led_to_shootings/

The OBAMA Regime Brainwashed him!

http://www.orlytaitzesq.com/?p=367385

Abortion Pills

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/ex-snl-star-victori a-ja ckson-links-massacre-to-abortion/story-e6frfmqi-1226538010105

Gay Marriage

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/dobson-connecticut-shooting- was- god-allowing-judgment-fall-upon-us-turning-our-back-him

Atheists

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/19/newt-gingrich-sandy-hook- _n_2 330506.html

The Theory of Evolution

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/12/17/tennessee-pastor-mass-shooti ngs- because-schools-teach-evolution-and-how-to-be-a-homo/

The 1968 Democratic Convention

http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/41365_Right_Wing_Pro-Gun_E xcus e_of_the_Day-_Blame_the_1968_Democratic_Convention
 
2012-12-21 04:07:36 AM  
Given that China had a spree knife attack like a week before our gun-related one, it's fairly clear that crazies gonna craze.

Just how many people died at that one again?
 
2012-12-21 04:11:41 AM  

ATRDCI: Who are you going to blame next, Tim Minchin?


Only if he made a kid watch as their dad ate his own face meat
 
2012-12-21 04:21:13 AM  

s2s2s2: This is Stewart's fault as well as Colbert's, because every time they go on break some unbelievable shiat happens.


I said this exact thing when I told my husband they were going on vacation until after New Year. I said, watch, some horrifying shiat is going to break out, it does every time, and he said they should be prevented from going on vacation. Never so sad to be right :(
 
2012-12-21 04:27:08 AM  
Faaaaaaaaaaan-tastic.

t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-21 05:14:29 AM  

BSABSVR: Autism.
Asperger's Syndrome.
Mental illness.


so we're now saying it's stupid to claim that mental illness plays a role in mass shootings?

so I guess poverty has nothing to do with crime either.
 
2012-12-21 05:37:36 AM  
Why do people shake magic 8 balls when the instructions say specifically not to do that?

/its as if humans just ignore the rules...
 
2012-12-21 07:08:08 AM  

Whistling Kitty Chaser: I love how the Westboro Baptist Church message has gone mainstream in a less direct way. These people might as well start lining up at the funerals for the shooting with signs that read "God hates secularism."


Maybe God hates children.
 
2012-12-21 07:34:48 AM  

gilgigamesh: An evangelical named "Joel Rosenberg"?  That's like a Muslim named "Israel Jewstein".


Why is that surprising. I once knew a black Southern Baptist named Quincy Wiesenthal.
 
2012-12-21 07:59:39 AM  
I don't see what Jon Leibowitz has to do with Sandy Hook.
 
2012-12-21 08:14:56 AM  
I blame God.
wh40k.lexicanum.com
 
2012-12-21 08:15:28 AM  

BSABSVR: Things that cause gun violence and therefore should be politicized:
Not enough God in schools.
Not enough guns in schools.
Not enough manly men in schools.
Too many womenfolk in schools.
Not enough children with guns.
Not enough children trained to carry out human wave attacks.
Satan.
Autism.
Asperger's Syndrome.
Mental illness.
Video games.
Quentin Tarantino.
Jon Stewart.
Abortion pills.
Gay marriage.
Atheists.
LIBOR.
The theory of evolution.
The 1968 Democratic Convention

Things that don't cause violence and thus cannot be discussed at the moment:
Unfettered access to guns by crazy people


You forgot "Not enough male janitors with buckets"
 
2012-12-21 08:23:17 AM  

Lansydyr: Here's what I've got after some searching


You're good. I like you.
 
2012-12-21 08:24:33 AM  

Free Radical: BSABSVR: Things that cause gun violence and therefore should be politicized:
Not enough God in schools.
Not enough guns in schools.
Not enough manly men in schools.
Too many womenfolk in schools.
Not enough children with guns.
Not enough children trained to carry out human wave attacks.
Satan.
Autism.
Asperger's Syndrome.
Mental illness.
Video games.
Quentin Tarantino.
Jon Stewart.
Abortion pills.
Gay marriage.
Atheists.
LIBOR.
The theory of evolution.
The 1968 Democratic Convention

Things that don't cause violence and thus cannot be discussed at the moment:
Unfettered access to guns by crazy people

You forgot "Not enough male janitors with buckets"


And that America's twelve year old boys aren't husky enough to stop adults on shooting rampages.
 
2012-12-21 08:32:41 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-21 08:55:43 AM  
Now it's just silly.
 
2012-12-21 08:58:54 AM  

Gergesa: Well if only there was a solution for people like Jon Stewart. Some sort of permanent solution.

/you knew this was coming.


That doesn't mean I was looking forward to it.
 
2012-12-21 08:59:49 AM  

trivial use of my dark powers: Now it's just silly.


I was going to go with "stupid"
 
2012-12-21 09:04:43 AM  
Let's put the blame where it belongs, on the people who deemed Sandy Hook as a "gun free zone" and then didn't stick around and make it their responsibility to secure the school themselves. We need to put the infantile leftist thought process on trial and then give it a blindfold and a cigarette.
 
2012-12-21 09:06:37 AM  

Stepqhen: ATRDCI: Who are you going to blame next, Tim Minchin?

Only if he made a kid watch as their dad ate his own face meat


Unless their dad is an occasional journaloust for the drive by lamestream media.

/this is my country, it's not perfect, but it's mine
 
2012-12-21 09:18:48 AM  
Is Obama the 12th Imam or not? Inquiring minds want to know.
 
2012-12-21 09:19:21 AM  
Let's put the blame where it belongs, folks:

On the idiot who brought a couple of guns and hundreds of rounds of ammo to a school, and used them to shoot children, teachers, and anyone else he thought was a target.

You can discuss what may have led him to do this ad nauseum, but let's face it - we almost skip over the shooters themselves in our rush to validate our societal biases. At the end of the day, it's the asshole who pulled the trigger over and over again that did the damage.
 
2012-12-21 09:22:32 AM  

clintster: Same guy also blamed Sandy on abortion rights in the US. This pic seems only appropriate:
 
[politicalmadness.org image 480x360] 
 
and
 
[wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 500x500]



farm9.staticflickr.com

q/d Paint.  This should be the default, IMO.
 
2012-12-21 09:22:52 AM  

FormlessOne: Let's put the blame where it belongs, folks:

On the idiot who brought a couple of guns and hundreds of rounds of ammo to a school, and used them to shoot children, teachers, and anyone else he thought was a target.

You can discuss what may have led him to do this ad nauseum, but let's face it - we almost skip over the shooters themselves in our rush to validate our societal biases. At the end of the day, it's the asshole who pulled the trigger over and over again that did the damage.


Unfortunately he is dead so we can't question him, slowly, with power tools.
 
2012-12-21 09:25:27 AM  

Lansydyr: Here's what I've got after some searching.  List is a little modified:


Things that cause gun violence and therefore should be politicized:
Not enough God in schools.
Not enough guns in schools.
Teacher's Unions.
Not enough manly men in schools.
Too many womenfolk in schools.
Too many children in schools.
Mental illness.
Autism / Asperger's Syndrome
Self-Esteem Movement
Goths
Video games.
Fisher Price Toys?!
Hollywood
The media!
LIBOR Scandal
Hunger Games
Jon Stewart.
The OBAMA Regime Brainwashed him!
Abortion pills.
Gay marriage.
Atheists.
The Theory of Evolution
The 1968 Democratic Convention

Things that don't cause violence and thus cannot be discussed at the moment:
Unfettered access to guns by crazy people


Not enough God in Schools

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/huckabee-schools-place -of- carnage-because-we-systematically

Not enough guns in schools

http://www.absolutesurvivalist.com/1/post/2012/12/im-a-dead-sandy- hook -teacher.html

Teacher's Unions

http://www.teapartynation.com/profiles/blog/show?id=3355873:Blo gPost:2 364503&xgs=1&xg_source=msg_share_post

Not enough manly men in schools AND Too many womenfolk in schools

http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/335996/newtown-answers-n ro-symp osium#

Too many children in schools

http://www.americanthinker.com/2012/12/the_strategic_concentration _of_ modern_children.html

Mental Illness AND Self-Esteem Movement

http://townhall.com/columnists/nealboortz/2012/12/18/newtown-conne ctic ut-there-is-no-why-n1469185/page/full/

Autism / Asperger's Syndrome

http://www.mediaite.com/print/fox-news-and-the-new-york-times-abet -med ia-effort-to-falsely-link-autism-with-ct-shooting/

Goths

http://www.thenation.com/article/171866/roots-rampage#

Video Games

http://www.foxnews.com/tech/2012/12/18/ct-killings-reignite-debate -abo ut-violence-in-video-games/

Fisher Price Toys?! (Only Glen Beck could think this up)

http://twitter.com/glennbeck/status/280876630023475200/photo/1

Hollywood

http://bl ...


I internet love you.
 
2012-12-21 09:32:53 AM  

clintster: Same guy also blamed Sandy on abortion rights in the US. This pic seems only appropriate:

[politicalmadness.org image 480x360]

and

[wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com image 500x500]


Sounds reasonable to me. Why should it not be his fault? He's a pretentious douchebag.
 
2012-12-21 09:34:41 AM  

GAT_00: They are very lucky TDS is on Christmas break or Stewart would biatchslap these people.


No matter how much you suckle up to the man's tangy nad essence, he's still not going to go out with you.
 
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