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(Salon)   Today's reason for the Sandy Hook shootings is *shakes Magic 8-ball* Jon Stewart   (salon.com) divider line 205
    More: Asinine, Magic 8-Ball, Sandy Hook, cultural war, The New York Times Best Seller list, god, magic  
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7108 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Dec 2012 at 10:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 10:45:47 PM  
Ahh, conservatives... bask in the glow of what you have wrought and continue in the most urgent manner of conviction. Your principles are at stake, not to mention the notion of the country that you imagine! Onward, brave patriot Christian soldier!
 
2012-12-20 10:49:29 PM  

beta_plus: Sorry libs, old Joel's dad was an Orthodox Jew. Any anti-semite remarks are invalid.


And homophobes tap dance their way to butt sex in bathrooms. Self loathing isn't all that uncommon, and comes from living with an ideology that generally despises you at the very core.

Like Republicans.
 
2012-12-20 10:50:03 PM  
Of course he said this while the Daily Show is on a holiday break. Not a coincidence. What a brave guy.
 
2012-12-20 10:50:34 PM  

MayoSlather: Because secularism is basically synonymous with violence.


Historically there is a pretty good correlation between anti-theist movements and violence. Of course that violence comes from churches putting down the heretics, but that is besides the point.
 
2012-12-20 10:54:13 PM  
It's always someone else's fault, isn't it?  It's not failed gun policies or a crumbling mental health care system, it's women or Jon Stewart or Saw IV or kids who play Call of Duty.

I don't like guns.  They scare the shiat out of me, and I'd be scared to sleep with one in my house.  Guns however, are not the complete problem.  It's the people who get their hands on them and what they do with them.  If mentally disturbed people are shooting up schools, rather than screaming "BAN ALL THE GUNS!!!1111!!" at the top of your lungs, how about we do more to help the mentally disabled so they don't get their hands on an AR-15 and kill 20 kids?

I don't think people should be able to own guns like that anyway, because I can't see what legitimate purpose they serve, even for hunting.  Do you need to hit a deer with that many rounds?  It's a deer, not a coked-up grizzly bear.
 
2012-12-20 10:55:48 PM  

beta_plus: Sorry libs, old Joel's dad was an Orthodox Jew. Any anti-semite remarks are invalid.


Says the guy who cheered when Rep Giffords was shot.
 
2012-12-20 10:55:48 PM  
 
2012-12-20 10:56:08 PM  
Right wingers: retards, psychos, or just noisy spoiled man-children?
 
2012-12-20 10:57:10 PM  
When "they" begin to take god out of your churches then you have an issue, until then STFU.
 
2012-12-20 10:57:14 PM  
"[m]illions of Muslims around the world are convinced their messiah-known as 'the Twelfth Imam'-has just arrived on earth."

Penalty, offense, too many Imams on the Earth. Five yard penalty, remains first down.
 
2012-12-20 10:59:38 PM  
These people should be glad that I am not a) insane, and b) don't own a gun.
 
2012-12-20 11:03:06 PM  
"But what are we reaping as a result of a society that increasingly ignores God and hates or dismisses Jesus Christ?" Rosenberg writes. "We are witnessing a horrifying explosion of murder. We are witnessing a gruesome crime wave unprecedented in American history. And there appears to be no end in sight."

So basically God is that kid from "The Twilight Zone". If we're not constantly paying attention to Him, and praising Him, he'll mess us up. Sounds like a kind and loving God.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-12-20 11:03:16 PM  
So its no longer video games and the lack of he-men at Sandy Hook.

Now it's Jon Stewart's fault.

Well, for the next 20 minutes or so anywyas.

I wonder who's fault it will be tomorrow. My guess is Sebastian the Crab.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-12-20 11:03:40 PM  

crazyeddie: Things that cause gun violence, according to the GOP:
Educating Women
The 1968 Democratic Convention
Jon Stewart
Not enough guns
Video Games
Not enough guns in school
Not enough Masculine Teachers or Custodians
Atheism

Here's what I have so far...could use some help.


Black People
Brown People
Red People
Yellow People
The Irish
The Italians
Poor People
White Liberals
Other Groups That Aren't WASP Republicans
 
2012-12-20 11:04:39 PM  

emotion_lotion: When "they" begin to take god out of your churches then you have an issue, until then STFU.


On it.

adeaconswife.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-20 11:04:56 PM  

doglover:
Black People
Brown People
Red People
Yellow People
The Irish
The Italians
Poor People
White Liberals
Other Groups That Aren't WASP Republicans


Yes yes, but I need citations, sir.
 
2012-12-20 11:06:30 PM  
Does the reality that crime is going down not mean anything to these people? Globally things are better than they have ever been before. The media reports everything bad, making things seem worse. Now there isn't enough crime in the US to sate are need for bad news, so we get to hear about bad things all around the world. We're more informed about rape in India and the Middle East than any previous generation of American.
 
2012-12-20 11:08:01 PM  
ok, let's take this challenge. everyone, everywhere convert to Christianity. Go to church every Sunday. Then the next time someone, anyone, anywhere gets killed by firearms then we can finally say that Christianity is full of shiat and then go about our business.

best part... forever!
 
2012-12-20 11:10:40 PM  
Joel Rosenberg is a jackass. I will now turn off my computer and resume my studies toward a conversion to atheism sometime in late spring.

Gotta lotta readin' to do.
 
2012-12-20 11:11:15 PM  

beta_plus: Sorry libs, old Joel's dad was an Orthodox Jew. Any anti-semite remarks are invalid.


Is he not allowed to hate his father as well?
 
2012-12-20 11:12:05 PM  

partisan222: ok, let's take this challenge. everyone, everywhere convert to Christianity. Go to church every Sunday. Then the next time someone, anyone, anywhere gets killed by firearms then we can finally say that Christianity is full of shiat and then go about our business.

best part... forever!


We can say that already, at least when it comes to the way it is practiced in this country.
 
2012-12-20 11:12:18 PM  
 
2012-12-20 11:12:19 PM  

partisan222: ok, let's take this challenge. everyone, everywhere convert to Christianity. Go to church every Sunday. Then the next time someone, anyone, anywhere gets killed by firearms then we can finally say that Christianity is full of shiat and then go about our business.

best part... forever!


nope, then everyone would just have to pray harder and/or give more at the donation plate. it's a pretty impeccable system
 
2012-12-20 11:12:56 PM  

crazyeddie: doglover:
Black People
Brown People
Red People
Yellow People
The Irish
The Italians
Poor People
White Liberals
Other Groups That Aren't WASP Republicans

Yes yes, but I need citations, sir.


And I want a BJ from Megan Fox.

I'm sure we'll both get what we want. Right? Right?
 
2012-12-20 11:13:29 PM  
Who are you going to blame next, Tim Minchin?
 
2012-12-20 11:13:31 PM  

wambu: Stewart is part of "the cultural war against Jesus and Christmas" that helps "drive [God] out of our society, our of our schools and courts."

If you are a Believer, God is omnipotent onmipresent and cannot be driven out of anywhere he wants to be, so the argument is either bogus or God choses to not be there.

If you are not a Believer, then the argument does not matter.

This guy is an embarrassment to Christianity.

[i.imgur.com image 400x400]


You know, if the god you're worshiping:

1) Wants you to consider a seasonal greeting an act of war
2) Uses rapist to create life
3) Is so petty that simply praying silently in schools rather than having the administration lead the entire school in prayer means that he is good with a crazy gunning down small children

Maybe, just maybe, you're not worshiping a god at all. Maybe you're worshiping the adversary of God.
 
2012-12-20 11:15:48 PM  

ordinarysteve: [www.moneyandshiat.com image 533x800]
/oblig


Leaving happy.
 
2012-12-20 11:17:14 PM  

DeaH: Maybe, just maybe, you're not worshiping a god at all. Maybe you're worshiping the adversary of God.


Or maybe you're just mentally masturbating because there's no one at the other end of your prayer.

Any god that would kill children because adults aren't praying enough is not worthy of my worship.
 
2012-12-20 11:18:45 PM  
This makes about as much sense as people blaming the Loughner shooting on Sarah Palin.
 
2012-12-20 11:20:00 PM  

ox45tallboy: DeaH: Maybe, just maybe, you're not worshiping a god at all. Maybe you're worshiping the adversary of God.

Or maybe you're just mentally masturbating because there's no one at the other end of your prayer.

Any god that would kill children because adults aren't praying enough is not worthy of my worship.




A-farking-men.
 
2012-12-20 11:21:32 PM  

ox45tallboy: DeaH: Maybe, just maybe, you're not worshiping a god at all. Maybe you're worshiping the adversary of God.

Or maybe you're just mentally masturbating because there's no one at the other end of your prayer.

Any god that would kill children because adults aren't praying enough is not worthy of my worship.


The whole idea of a vengeful god who punishes sinners with fire and brimstone goes completely contrary of what Jesus taught in the gospels.

But then, hardcore Christians seem to only read the verses of the bible that push their own personal agenda and forget about those pesky chapters in Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
 
2012-12-20 11:26:27 PM  

ox45tallboy:
Any god that would kill children because adults aren't praying enough is not worthy of my worship.


Would you accept a god that would kill 42 children because they mock a bald man? Because we have one of those laying about. In fact, 42% of people in the US believe that this particular god created humans in their current form less than 10,000 years ago.

Congratulations, you are surrounded by religious idiots, and they will actively refuse to listen to reason.
 
2012-12-20 11:28:33 PM  

beta_plus: Sorry libs, old Joel's dad was an Orthodox Jew. Any anti-semite remarks are invalid.



Unless his mom was Jewish, it doesn't count.

/why the fark am i trying to reason with a yellow 3 epsilon-minus who cheers when democrats are shot?
 
2012-12-20 11:28:57 PM  

doglover: crazyeddie: Things that cause gun violence, according to the GOP:
Educating Women
The 1968 Democratic Convention
Jon Stewart
Not enough guns
Video Games
Not enough guns in school
Not enough Masculine Teachers or Custodians
Atheism

Here's what I have so far...could use some help.

Black People
Brown People
Red People
Yellow People
The Irish
The Italians
Poor People
White Liberals
Other Groups That Aren't WASP Republicans


Feminism
 
2012-12-20 11:30:01 PM  
The overwelming biggest single factor in the shootings was that the killer was a crazy mentally ill personwho should have been under strict supervision by mental health professionals.
 
2012-12-20 11:30:07 PM  

crazyeddie: ox45tallboy:
Any god that would kill children because adults aren't praying enough is not worthy of my worship.

Would you accept a god that would kill 42 children because they mock a bald man? Because we have one of those laying about. In fact, 42% of people in the US believe that this particular god created humans in their current form less than 10,000 years ago.

Congratulations, you are surrounded by religious idiots, and they will actively refuse to listen to reason.


God doesn't kill children. farkin' bears kill children.

Colbert was right.
 
2012-12-20 11:34:00 PM  

doglover:
Colbert was right.


I forgot that you were a christain apologist who can't admit to himself his reasons for believing. Just put me on ignore if you can't handle hearing nasty facts about your superstition, rather than being passive aggressive. kthxbye

To everyone else, are there any other links we can add to the pile?
Things that cause gun violence, according to the GOP:
Educating Women
The 1968 Democratic Convention
Jon Stewart
Not enough guns or
Not enough combat-ready teachers
Video Games
Not enough guns in school
Not enough Masculine Teachers or Custodians
Atheism
Abortions
Removal of God and Prayer from Schools
Goths
 
2012-12-20 11:40:40 PM  
I'll bet they were waiting for the right one to blame on Jon Stewart.
 
2012-12-20 11:44:09 PM  
Let the Free Market fix it. George Soros needs to start a fund that buys up all the ammo in the USA and sells it overseas.
 
2012-12-20 11:45:03 PM  

ox45tallboy: Sock Ruh Tease: It's true. I saw Jon Stewart there with Adam Lanza and they were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me.

And then they got ABORTIONS, didn't they?


They didn't abort all the babies. They gave some of the babies to the Mexicans to use as anchors. I just don't get why, if those Mexicans can afford boats, why would they sneak in to take our less-than-minimum-wage jobs? Besides, I would think a baby wouldn't be very effective as an anchor, but if Fox News says that Mexicans use anchor babies, it must be true.
 
2012-12-20 11:46:10 PM  
Jon Stewart is so right-wing that he actually wrote Mein Kampf.
No, really. It's a fun fact.
 
2012-12-20 11:51:04 PM  
Rosenberg, who has previously linked Hurricane Sandy to abortion rights,

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-20 11:55:06 PM  
Is there a list of all of the bullshiat arguments and fallacies that get trotted out from the pro gun crowd. I swear they turn the firehose up to 11. Rivaled only by the Ron Paulistanians. Hmm, is it the same subset?
 
2012-12-20 11:58:18 PM  
FTA: In a blog post, Rosenberg cites the ongoing so-called War on Christmas, and how "We are, in many respects, in a moral and spiritual freefall in our country, and we are paying a terrible price."

Why is a guy named Rosenberg worried about Christmas?
 
2012-12-21 12:01:08 AM  

Insatiable Jesus: FTA: In a blog post, Rosenberg cites the ongoing so-called War on Christmas, and how "We are, in many respects, in a moral and spiritual freefall in our country, and we are paying a terrible price."

Why is a guy named Rosenberg worried about Christmas?


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-12-21 12:07:50 AM  
Do these people ever cite any of the rewards bestowed upon us by God when we do good?
 
2012-12-21 12:11:14 AM  

Insatiable Jesus: Why is a guy named Rosenberg worried about Christmas?


Seems Legit.

www.chillinpanda.com
 
2012-12-21 12:13:54 AM  

Insatiable Jesus: Do these people ever cite any of the rewards bestowed upon us by God when we do good?


I think your username just answered your own question.

Basically, since bad sh*t keeps happening, it means that we've never been good enough, so apparently no one knows exactly what sorts of good things God will do if only we'll do exactly as the fundies say.

So what exactly caused hurricanes back when we were intolerant of homosexuality?
 
2012-12-21 12:14:39 AM  

Lionel Mandrake: I...I am just out of adjectives that can sufficiently describe the magnitude of how douchy these fkn FOXtards have gotten
 
Guns have nothing to do with it.  It's a half-hour late-night show that comes on four days a week.
 
f*ck you, asshole.


Actually it's school yard bullying that is the real issue but nobody wants to talk about it because they would have to face the realization that their precious little snowflake isn't as innocent as they think

Guns do not cause people to be mentally scarred for life.
 
2012-12-21 12:19:58 AM  
Jon Stewart forced me to have an abortion.

/That is all
 
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