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(Mother Jones)   Forget about asteroids hitting the Earth and causing an apocalypse, self-reliant preppers are getting ready for the Barackalypse   (motherjones.com) divider line 66
    More: Stupid, price shocks, self-sufficiency, Mesoamerican Long Count calendar, self-reliances, natgeo, power couple, EMP, nuclear weapons  
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2714 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 Dec 2012 at 6:32 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 05:13:11 PM
Prepared...for awesome.
 
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-12-20 06:34:30 PM
Dildos.
 
2012-12-20 06:38:08 PM
Is Mortal Kombat starting tomorrow?
 
2012-12-20 06:40:06 PM
Fox News is to Barack as 2012 Doomsayers are to reality
 
2012-12-20 06:42:07 PM
My father has been preparing for the "Takers v. Makers" conflict since Clinton.
 
2012-12-20 06:42:28 PM
Paranoid prepare stocks up on weapons that are then used by mentally ill son to kill lots of kids thereby putting pressure on politicians to enact regulations that make preppers even more paranoid. The circle is complete.
 
2012-12-20 06:43:14 PM
Survivalist Singles ("Don't Face the Future Alone") boasts 4,000 members, mostly male.

Hmmmm I think I know how this story ends.

Anyway I imagine in 2016 they will come down from the mountains and be saying "Damnit, I feel let down that none of the doomsday predictions came to pass. Why is it that whenever a Democrat gets into office the world doesn't end like all my friends say it will?"
 
2012-12-20 06:45:12 PM
I wonder how many more schools/churches/movie theaters/restaurants/etc will be shot up as "preppers" get bored waiting around for their masturbatory end-of-the-world fantasy to come about.
 
2012-12-20 06:46:07 PM

Nuclear Monk: Paranoid prepare stocks up on weapons that are then used by mentally ill son to kill lots of kids thereby putting pressure on politicians to enact regulations that make preppers even more paranoid. The circle is complete.

 
I'm starting to think this was the NRA's game plan all along.
 
But that would just be paranoid nutjobbery, wouldn't it.
 
2012-12-20 06:46:56 PM

Gergesa: Survivalist Singles ("Don't Face the Future Alone") boasts 4,000 members, mostly male.

Hmmmm I think I know how this story ends.

Anyway I imagine in 2016 they will come down from the mountains and be saying "Damnit, I feel let down that none of the doomsday predictions came to pass. Why is it that whenever a Democrat gets into office the world doesn't end like all my friends say it will?"


There will be some rightwing nutjob there to tell them that if it weren't for said rightwing nutjob the world WOULD have ended, so they are awesome and should be voted for so they can ensure the world continues not ending.
 
2012-12-20 06:46:59 PM
Blackocalypse.
 
2012-12-20 06:47:40 PM
i can't find much on what we would consider "preppers" historically, but america has a long and proud tradition of widespread belief in apocalytic events. I think its related to the prevelance of evangelical religion in our nations history, and how it quite often drew from the apocalyptic side of christianity (for example: sinners in the hands of an angry god.)

But from what i've seen obama isn't unique in inspiring distrust of the evil government. I think the internet makes the rhetoric a bit more personal and in everyones mind though.
 
2012-12-20 06:48:54 PM
Survivalism is sort of like building model trains or playing minature-based wargames, a really fun hobby that's completely ruined by the people that take it way too seriously.

//A good cure for this is to present it as "preparing for the zombie apocalypse", that keeps the nutters away form you doing their own thing while you mess around building the grown-up version of treehouses and stuff.
 
2012-12-20 06:48:57 PM
FTFA: Doctor Prepper told me he'd seen copies of the draconian executive orders the president was about to unveil and it wasn't pretty.

Sure he has.

/I'll bet they started with "FW:FW:FW: FW: Fwd: FW:"
 
2012-12-20 06:49:39 PM
Ok, read the article...

I want to keep my money
And give away absolutely nothing
To the government who moderates my spending
and obliterates depending on the time of the year
brutality is near
in the form of income tax
I'd rather take a farking axe to my face,
blow up this place
with you all in it,
I'd do it in a minute

if I could write off your murder
I'd save all of my receipts
because I'd rather you be dead
than lose a tiny shred of what I made this fiscal year

I'd rather you be dead than ponder parting with my second home
I'd rather you be dead than consider not opening a restaurant
I'd rather you be dead
I'd rather you be dead


Huh, it really is dildos.

Prepare the laser beam
 
2012-12-20 06:52:37 PM
I have considered emergency preparedness precautions, such as stockpiling sufficient supplies to survive a short-term emergency (up to two weeks). Unfortunately, if I do so now, I will likely be profiled and subjected to surveillance.
 
2012-12-20 06:56:03 PM
nobody ever went broke selling weapons or marketing to stupid people.  which isn't to say that living/building a self sufficient community is a bad idea...far from it.  having local communities that can survive for a while on their own if there's statewide disruption in services.
 
2012-12-20 06:56:25 PM
Preppers really need their own Jim Jones type. The sooner the better.
 
2012-12-20 06:56:27 PM

Dimensio: I have considered emergency preparedness precautions, such as stockpiling sufficient supplies to survive a short-term emergency (up to two weeks). Unfortunately, if I do so now, I will likely be profiled and subjected to surveillance.


thats just a few jugs of water and some canned soup, maybe a camping stove if you're the type who needs fancy warm soup. heck, i have a weeks worth of food just in the trunk of my car.
 
2012-12-20 06:56:38 PM

Dimensio: I have considered emergency preparedness precautions, such as stockpiling sufficient supplies to survive a short-term emergency (up to two weeks). Unfortunately, if I do so now, I will likely be profiled and subjected to surveillance.


yah, the profilers at Costco are a biatch.
 
2012-12-20 06:58:40 PM

Dimensio: I have considered emergency preparedness precautions, such as stockpiling sufficient supplies to survive a short-term emergency (up to two weeks). Unfortunately, if I do so now, I will likely be profiled and subjected to surveillance.


Tell them you are just following the CDC's recommendation for Zombie Preparedness
Office of Public Health Preparedness and Response
 
2012-12-20 07:00:50 PM

Dimensio: I have considered emergency preparedness precautions, such as stockpiling sufficient supplies to survive a short-term emergency (up to two weeks). Unfortunately, if I do so now, I will likely be profiled and subjected to surveillance.


Utter horseshiat. Go to Costco and buy a barrel of dehydrated food, and a few empty barrels that you can fill with water. Honestly, you must be trollin' with such idiocy.
 
2012-12-20 07:02:34 PM

tinderfitles: My father has been preparing for the "Takers v. Makers" conflict since Clinton.


He does realize that he would be a "Taker" in any such scenario, right?

/Doesn't matter if he thinks he's a "Maker".
 
2012-12-20 07:03:02 PM

Dimensio: I have considered emergency preparedness precautions, such as stockpiling sufficient supplies to survive a short-term emergency (up to two weeks). Unfortunately, if I do so now, I will likely be profiled and subjected to surveillance.


No one will even notice a two-week stockpile. Primarily because most people keep one to two weeks worth of food in their house anyway, the only difference is having some water and a first-aid kit.

And... you should, if it's even physically possible for a natural disaster to hit your area. You can ask people in NY/NJ how well "eh, there hasn't been a big storm in five or six decades" has been working out for them lately.
 
2012-12-20 07:03:09 PM
s14.postimage.org
 
2012-12-20 07:06:14 PM

Dimensio: I have considered emergency preparedness precautions, such as stockpiling sufficient supplies to survive a short-term emergency (up to two weeks). Unfortunately, if I do so now, I will likely be profiled and subjected to surveillance.


Two weeks is nothing at all, especially compared to these people. Just a bunch of canned goods (which, in a pinch, also work as a great water source). Through in a comprehensive first aid kit and you're set.

That's reasonable. Preparing for the apocalypse via ammunition stockpiles and a backyard bunker is not.
 
2012-12-20 07:19:35 PM
you Farkers just wait, one day the end will be upon us & then we'll see who's laughing.

1. repeat annually until the end.
2. laugh.
3. Profit.
 
2012-12-20 07:24:39 PM
I think AR-15s are pretty neat.
I think I'll pick one up in the woods, which will be full of them when these overweight, middle-aged crazies try to hump a couple assault weapons, pistols, body armor and 40 pounds of ammo and then die of heart attacks and/or Budweiser withdrawal.
 
2012-12-20 07:29:12 PM

sugardave: Gergesa: Survivalist Singles ("Don't Face the Future Alone") boasts 4,000 members, mostly male.

 
Hmmmm I think I know how this story ends.
 
Anyway I imagine in 2016 they will come down from the mountains and be saying "Damnit, I feel let down that none of the doomsday predictions came to pass. Why is it that whenever a Democrat gets into office the world doesn't end like all my friends say it will?"
 
There will be some rightwing nutjob there to tell them that if it weren't for said rightwing nutjob the world WOULD have ended, so they are awesome and should be voted for so they can ensure the world continues not ending.
 
Sounds familiar...
 
Festinger and his colleagues saw this as a case that would lead to the arousal of dissonance when the prophecy failed. Altering the belief would be difficult, as Keech and her group were committed at considerable expense to maintain it. Another option would be to enlist social support for their belief. As Festinger wrote, "If more and more people can be persuaded that the system of belief is correct, then clearly it must after all be correct." 
 
These were the folks for whom the term "cognitive dissonance" was invented.
 
2012-12-20 07:34:30 PM

Jim_Callahan: Survivalism is sort of like building model trains or playing minature-based wargames, a really fun hobby that's completely ruined by the people that take it way too seriously.

//A good cure for this is to present it as "preparing for the zombie apocalypse", that keeps the nutters away form you doing their own thing while you mess around building the grown-up version of treehouses and stuff.


As a miniature wargamer...yeah, there's a lot of socially inept people that give our hobby a bad name. And the vast majority of them seem to concentrate on Games Workshop products.
 
2012-12-20 07:41:28 PM

fusillade762: sugardave: Gergesa: Survivalist Singles ("Don't Face the Future Alone") boasts 4,000 members, mostly male.

Hmmmm I think I know how this story ends.

Anyway I imagine in 2016 they will come down from the mountains and be saying "Damnit, I feel let down that none of the doomsday predictions came to pass. Why is it that whenever a Democrat gets into office the world doesn't end like all my friends say it will?"

There will be some rightwing nutjob there to tell them that if it weren't for said rightwing nutjob the world WOULD have ended, so they are awesome and should be voted for so they can ensure the world continues not ending.

Sounds familiar...

Festinger and his colleagues saw this as a case that would lead to the arousal of dissonance when the prophecy failed. Altering the belief would be difficult, as Keech and her group were committed at considerable expense to maintain it. Another option would be to enlist social support for their belief. As Festinger wrote, "If more and more people can be persuaded that the system of belief is correct, then clearly it must after all be correct."

These were the folks for whom the term "cognitive dissonance" was invented.


I think I've heard of that before....it seems familiar anyway. Thanks!
 
2012-12-20 07:47:19 PM
Your federal, state, county, and local governments do not want you to be helpless in the event of an emergency. They all want you to be as prepared as possible, and if you go to any of their websites there will be very extensive information on how to assemble the necessary supplies. If you call any of those agencies, including FEMA, they will most likely be very helpful and will give you good advice on how to tailor your needs to your specific circumstances.

/unless, of course, your local/county/state governments have been defunded by Teabaggers, in which case you're SOL except for FEMA
 
2012-12-20 08:19:21 PM

Huggermugger: Your federal, state, county, and local governments do not want you to be helpless in the event of an emergency. They all want you to be as prepared as possible, and if you go to any of their websites there will be very extensive information on how to assemble the necessary supplies. If you call any of those agencies, including FEMA, they will most likely be very helpful and will give you good advice on how to tailor your needs to your specific circumstances.


Having fresh packs of batteries, gallon jugs of water, a generator and gasoline, and plenty of candles for when you lose power and water for 1d6 days after a hurricane? Completely reasonable.

Hoarding enough non-perishable food to feed you for two years and stockpiling enough guns and ammunition to equip an infantry company because you think the black helicopters are going to show up in the middle of the night any time now? Those people are part of the reason we need serious improvements in our mental health system.
 
2012-12-20 08:21:48 PM
Saw this on Facebook today:

sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-12-20 08:26:23 PM
Idiotic. On the other hand, it might be a good time to start selling my heirloom seed lines at absurdly inflated prices. I'll pack them in a little camo "vault" to appeal to the paranoid LCD. Yeah I know it's already being done but I think the market can bear another manipulative seedsman er...I mean Patriotic Seedsman.
 
2012-12-20 08:26:47 PM
Weirdo neighbor of mine is former Marine, 2A nut and proud member of the Tea Party - as you will see if you ever come within 500 yards of his truck. He's famous in the neighborhood for his proclamation that all the best meat will be walking around unarmed and free of charge someday. Hard to know how serious he is, he's the living embodiment of Poe's Law.
 
2012-12-20 08:27:23 PM
I've been preparing for the apocalypse, WHICH COULD DEFINITELY HAPPEN ANY MINUTE, for over 38 years!

/this guy seems legit
 
2012-12-20 08:56:42 PM

Nuclear Monk: Paranoid prepare stocks up on weapons that are then used by mentally ill son to kill lots of kids thereby putting pressure on politicians to enact regulations that make preppers even more paranoid. The circle is complete.


Yup. The circle of derp.
 
2012-12-20 09:15:33 PM
Preppers are hilarious. They stockpile food and weapons that are, ultimately, a limited supply. Eventually, you're going to run out of bulk-purchased surplus MREs and canned potatoes.  Eventually, you'll run out of bullets.  These people don't "prep" for a longterm survival situation. They prep for their apocalypse fantasies that end with their eventual rescue by the military, or the re-stabilized gubbmint or the return of Jebus, or whatever.
 
I've watched an episode or two of that "Doomsday Preppers" show and find it both hilarious and enraging.  These people are so focused on canned tuna and guns and know NOTHING about farming-for-survival, foraging, gravity-flow water systems, medicine, rearing, breeding, or butchering livestock.... If you're going to "prep" for the end of the world, a 2-year supply of <i>anything</i> is worth diddly in the long run.  These people aren't "survivalists." They're delusional idiots who don't know a damn thing about living off the grid or being self-sufficient.  They wouldn't last 6 months without their cars, electricity, hot water, and other non-essentials.
 
There's a real part of me that hopes some kind of shiat <i>does</i> go down, just so I can watch these fatty, Road Warrior-wannabe nutjobs nursing their blisters and crying about how unfair it all is after Day 1.
 
2012-12-20 09:16:50 PM
FTA:

"There are no fewer than three prepper dating sites-Survivalist Singles ("Don't Face the Future Alone") boasts 4,000 members, mostly male."

Mostly male. So... gay sites?
 
2012-12-20 09:17:45 PM

Supes: Dimensio: I have considered emergency preparedness precautions, such as stockpiling sufficient supplies to survive a short-term emergency (up to two weeks). Unfortunately, if I do so now, I will likely be profiled and subjected to surveillance.

Two weeks is nothing at all, especially compared to these people. Just a bunch of canned goods (which, in a pinch, also work as a great water source). Through in a comprehensive first aid kit and you're set.

That's reasonable. Preparing for the apocalypse via ammunition stockpiles and a backyard bunker is not.


There's also a difference between "having a few weeks worth of stuff in case of disaster" and "masturbatory fantasy involving the gold I buried, shooting hippies, gangbangers and liberals all while running bartertown".  A lot of these preppers are closer to the 2nd example than the first.
 
2012-12-20 09:22:48 PM

partisan222: FTA:

"There are no fewer than three prepper dating sites-Survivalist Singles ("Don't Face the Future Alone") boasts 4,000 members, mostly male."

Mostly male. So... gay sites?


Any port in an apocalypse.
 
2012-12-20 09:23:23 PM
These are exactly the type of people who should not have guns.
 
2012-12-20 09:24:46 PM

The Short Bald Guy from Benny Hill: These are exactly the type of people who should not have guns.


I think they should have guns if they live an isolated livelihood and are this stupid. Better chance of them accidentally killing each other and helping our gene pool.
 
2012-12-20 09:27:35 PM

LouDobbsAwaaaay: I wonder how many more schools/churches/movie theaters/restaurants/etc will be shot up as "preppers" get bored waiting around for their masturbatory end-of-the-world fantasy to come about.


upload.wikimedia.org+ investigation.discovery.com= www2.fbi.gov


/immoral mathematics
 
2012-12-20 09:31:24 PM
They must smell what he' cooking for the second term:
images1.cliqueclack.com
 
2012-12-20 09:33:24 PM

Gergesa: Survivalist Singles ("Don't Face the Future Alone") boasts 4,000 members, mostly male.

Hmmmm I think I know how this story ends.

Anyway I imagine in 2016 they will come down from the mountains and be saying "Damnit, I feel let down that none of the doomsday predictions came to pass. Why is it that whenever a Democrat gets into office the world doesn't end like all my friends say it will?"


You gave them credit for way more introspection and self-reflection than I think they ever experience.
 
2012-12-20 09:36:03 PM
It's more than just guns and mental health that are the problem. It's an entire culture that fosters idiocy like this.
 
2012-12-20 09:41:00 PM
My father is a preper. I recently sold a generator he gave me because I don't have the room for it and it's a pain to keep up with the maintenance. I felt a bit bad about it. Funny thing about that is that he lambastes me for being a liberal but calls me for supplies, how to go about sterilizing/purifying water, and asks me general questions about how to do things. He isn't stupid but believes the stupidest shiat I've ever heard. If you're a negative person your just going to believe negative things no matter how many times your proven wrong. Unfortunately this is killing my inheritance. The market has been going up since 2009 and he's been shorting it for years.
 
2012-12-20 09:51:44 PM

festus963: The market has been going up since 2009 and he's been shorting it for years.


I couldn't help but think of "the lights are on but no ones home" when reading that.
 
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