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(Buzzfeed)   Weekly Fark food thread: Christmas Dinners. Share your menus, ask your questions, post photos. Bonus for this week only: A special guest chef who is also a farker   (buzzfeed.com ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Christmas dinner, threads  
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1663 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 4:58 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-12-20 04:30:15 PM  
3 votes:

Bill_Wick's_Friend: [www.sixthseal.com image 500x375]

Two har gao, two shu mai, two fengszhao, tripe with pumpkin, sticky rice, two plates of pork bao, two ham sui gao. I think that's good for now but we'll get more if we're still hungry.

/jewish
/nothing to really add to this thread


Fa ra ra ra ra...
2012-12-20 04:24:34 PM  
3 votes:
What Farkers are saying they will have:
static.guim.co.uk

What they're REALLY gonna have:
www.x-entertainment.com
2012-12-20 03:59:31 PM  
3 votes:
I'm having Turkey Siciliano. It's served face down in a shallow gravy.
2012-12-20 03:53:46 PM  
3 votes:
Hey twoody,

I caught my teenage son doing something inappropriate with the turkey after I thawed it out. I've rinsed out the cavity and gave him a stern talking to but is it still safe to eat?
2012-12-20 03:47:36 PM  
3 votes:
thekingoftexas.files.wordpress.com
2012-12-20 05:18:24 PM  
2 votes:

R.A.Danny: Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas
[i1231.photobucket.com image 653x490]

 
ibostonterrier.com
 
Boston Butt in reali life
2012-12-20 04:29:05 PM  
2 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2012-12-20 03:56:06 PM  
2 votes:
Hey twoody,
 
What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for a cat that won't eat all of her green bean casserole you're a bad kitty Mr. Whiskers bad bad bad but so cuddly yes you are yes you are so cute and cuddly I just want to squeeze you and pet you and oh my God you gave me kitty kisses with your nose how sweet yes you are so sweet!
 
Thanks,
 
Shostie
2012-12-20 03:50:09 PM  
2 votes:
Hi, twoody,
 
I was just wondering how long it would take to cook a person, like, say, kwame.
 
You see, it's all part of this elaborate revenge fantasy. I plan to present the cooked kwame to my husband and say, "try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy, and you know where it's been," as a sort of epic denouement and an homage to a cult movie that no one's seen but me.
 
Thanks,
 
Shostie
2012-12-20 03:23:35 PM  
2 votes:

You'll get nothing,
farm4.staticflickr.com
and like it!

2012-12-20 03:21:50 PM  
2 votes:
I hate when people try to tell me that Christmas is for ham and Thanksgiving is for turkey.
 
Name one f*cking Christmas song that mentions ham.  See.
2012-12-20 05:21:16 PM  
1 vote:

Tax Boy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x335]

There will be beer, burgers, and a double-feature of Django Unchained and The Hobbit.

/now that's doing Christmas right


Be sure to liveblog your experience at the Alamo!
2012-12-20 05:13:33 PM  
1 vote:
2012-12-20 05:10:53 PM  
1 vote:
upload.wikimedia.org

There will be beer, burgers, and a double-feature of Django Unchained and The Hobbit.

/now that's doing Christmas right
2012-12-20 04:59:29 PM  
1 vote:
Xmas dinner is whatever my best friend serves up at her xmas party every year. It's a thanksgiving type dinner with turkey, mashed potatoes, etc. But since she never has enough chairs, I usually use my (well trained) dog as a table.

img156.imageshack.us
2012-12-20 04:51:23 PM  
1 vote:
Don't forget the Jell-o salad!
 
dubsism.files.wordpress.com
 
delicious-cooks.com
 
www.bourbonandboots.com
2012-12-20 04:49:13 PM  
1 vote:
Made this turducken a few years ago. Going to do it again this year.

i106.photobucket.com
2012-12-20 04:48:38 PM  
1 vote:

mryoop789: FINE.

This year I'm making my specialty: Beanie Weenie and Mac & Cheese casserole. This year, instead of crushing potato chips and putting shredded cheese on top, I thought I'd fancy it up. Ideas?


French's Fried Onions. Because nothing says classy holiday meal more than crackin' open a can o' them.
2012-12-20 04:43:04 PM  
1 vote:

mryoop789: My aunt has pica and always requests special dishes. Do you think felt would taste better marinated in something sweet, or something savory? Also, would you pair it with Windex or dish soap?


At least challenge us, A sawdust and crushed wallboard rub is the obvious choice.
2012-12-20 04:40:50 PM  
1 vote:
My aunt has pica and always requests special dishes. Do you think felt would taste better marinated in something sweet, or something savory? Also, would you pair it with Windex or dish soap?
2012-12-20 04:33:31 PM  
1 vote:
Tom,
 
Please help settle an argument. Which is better on steak: ketchup or miracle whip?
2012-12-20 04:33:05 PM  
1 vote:

mryoop789: Tom, which would you recommend for baking a souffle? Microwave or toaster oven?


Both work.
 
A nuker will give you a denser/chewier souffle, but a toaster oven gives pretty good results.
 
When all else fails, use an Easy Bake.
2012-12-20 04:28:41 PM  
1 vote:
Tom, which would you recommend for baking a souffle? Microwave or toaster oven?
2012-12-20 04:24:13 PM  
1 vote:
We like to make Christmas a little fancy and exotic. That's why I always make my famous Spamshi...
www.guavarose.com
2012-12-20 04:17:35 PM  
1 vote:

ferretman: Want to make but don't have a deep fryer:

[randomcravings.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]


Oooh what is that? I have a deep frier. I'll make some and fax it to you.
2012-12-20 04:17:20 PM  
1 vote:
For Christmas we have to deal with:
Wife (vegetarian)
BiL (allergic to dairy and nuts)*
MiL (Diverticulitis and Celiac)**
Sister (vegan)
Mother (doesn't like cheese or fish)
Brother (doesn't like anything without meat in it)
Me (eats just about every damn thing that humans anywhere are willing to eat)***
3 year old daughter (eats everything as long as they're not touching)

* Not just intolerant, actually allergic. You can see the blisters form on his lips.
** Not clinically diagnosed but if she eats that stuff she spends the next three days on the crapper.
*** Yes. You can find some things I won't eat but you have to try really hard.

So we end up essentially cooking multiple Christmas dinners. This year:
chestnut soup
duck confit
pork roast
vegan cassoulet
roasted sweet potatoes
beet salad
green beans
cranberry sauce
sauerkraut
vegan ganach with raspberry sauce

the rest of the weekend includes:
vegetarian chili
coq au vin
gulasch (the leftover duck from the confit makes a great base)
chana masala
bread

Lot's of alcohol

We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

Holidays are an orgy of drunken feasting.
2012-12-20 04:16:13 PM  
1 vote:

moogrum: Dear twoody,
You look a little bit like a young version of the host from America's test Kitchen.  Are you his and Julia Child's love-child?


Actually.
i2.photobucket.com
2012-12-20 04:14:20 PM  
1 vote:

R.A.Danny: Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas


How does the roast stay on the pan when upside down?
2012-12-20 04:05:39 PM  
1 vote:
Again with the anchovy paste.
 
It really does do wonders, though.  A little dollop behind the ears and your cat will totally let his guard down.
2012-12-20 04:01:48 PM  
1 vote:
twoody,
Could you please explain why Beastie Boys are known to let the beat
.
.
.
.
.
.nnnnnnnnndrop?
2012-12-20 04:01:07 PM  
1 vote:

OSULugan: I caught my teenage son doing something inappropriate with the turkey after I thawed it out. I've rinsed out the cavity and gave him a stern talking to but is it still safe to eat?

 
As long as you cook it to an internal temperature of 165 and hold the salt.
/kwame
2012-12-20 03:59:48 PM  
1 vote:

mryoop789: Tom,

I was just curious. How do you get your kids to sharpen your knives without them trying to stab each other. My little scamps keep ending up in the ER


Funny thing is, I just send my knives over to your house.... I guess that explains why they keep coming back looking like they were run through an autopsy.
2012-12-20 03:59:48 PM  
1 vote:
I'll be cooking a venison roast with chunked potatoes, mushrooms, smothered in rings of onion and topped with mushroom soup. No I'm not de-glazing anything with wine or that fancy shiat. I'm going to sprinkle on some Montreal Steak Seasoning and roast it at 225 for about 5 hours.

And we'll sop up the gravy with plenty of yeasty rolls, then wash it all down with a dark, malty brew.

Aftterward, we'll gather round the fire and compare relative degrees of flatulence.
2012-12-20 03:57:59 PM  
1 vote:

mryoop789: Tommy,
My husband says that we need to get some garlic to ward off Jack Frost and his evil demons on Christmas Eve. I told him what we really need is yellow onions. Who's right?
Thanks,
Jen


I'll field this one.
 
You need shallots.
2012-12-20 03:56:10 PM  
1 vote:

hng: I can stuff 5lbs in 5minutes.


Oblig: That's what she said.
2012-12-20 03:51:59 PM  
1 vote:
I've had this for about 15 years. Maybe it's time to eat it.
i.imgur.com
2012-12-20 03:48:49 PM  
1 vote:
Hi Twoody!
 
I've always wanted to make Beef Wellington. I think I've finally mustered up the courage to attempt one. Any suggestions for a first-timer?
2012-12-20 03:48:30 PM  
1 vote:
i1151.photobucket.com
Jack got the girl of his dreams - and a reach around.
Twas a Christmas miracle!
2012-12-20 03:47:12 PM  
1 vote:
Hi twoody,
 
Long time follower first time stalker.
 
When I sneak into your house over the holidays, I notice a very nice aromatic smell that isn't usually there.  Are there special Christmas (or whatever Mormons do) herbs that you use during this season?
 
Love,
 
kwame
2012-12-20 03:30:17 PM  
1 vote:

eraser8: oldfarthenry: Here's Mrs. Henry's spread:
[i1151.photobucket.com image 299x399]

Here's Mrs. Henry looking eager at my suggestion to "spread 'em":
[i1151.photobucket.com image 399x400]

What year is that from?


Let's just say "last century".
2012-12-20 03:29:23 PM  
1 vote:

twoody: Did you use a casing stuffer?
/also, my nickname is casing stuffer...


I used my grandmother's one from like the 60s.  Maybe I need a new one, the meat just wouldn't go down the tube easily. 
 
There's no way to discuss this without sounding sexual.
2012-12-20 03:22:00 PM  
1 vote:
Here's Mrs. Henry's spread:
i1151.photobucket.com

Here's Mrs. Henry looking eager at my suggestion to "spread 'em":
i1151.photobucket.com
 
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