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(Buzzfeed)   Weekly Fark food thread: Christmas Dinners. Share your menus, ask your questions, post photos. Bonus for this week only: A special guest chef who is also a farker   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 336
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1641 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 4:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 04:57:38 PM

aprentic: twoody: aprentic: We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

I'd love her recipe.  Homemade fermentations are loads of fun!

Keep everything really really clean. I'm pretty sure I was too cavalier about that with my rotten cabbage recipe.

Wash cabbage and take off the nasty outer leaves.
Cut out the stem and chop the rest of it into thin slivers (they looked like they were about 1 or 2 mm across).
Put them in a clean container.
Add about 1 tbl of salt per lb of cabbage (this is from memory I'll check with Ms. aprentic and update if I'm wrong).
It has to be sea salt or some other salt with nothing added or it can inhibit the fermentation process.
Mix it up and squish the whole thing down (with really clean hands).
Cover it and let it sit for a while. In a day or so there should be enough water to cover the cabbage. If not add some brine or vinegar top it off.
Let it sit in a cool place for a while (ready in about a week but it gets better with age).
The cabbage has to be completely submerged in the liquid or it will go bad. Cover it to keep junk out but don't use a tight fitting lid or it will explode (an air lock works if you're using a (clean) beer making bucket)

I'll run this by Ms. aprentic and if anything is wrong I'll post an update.


Does she have a spot she likes to store it?  What temperature does it typically ferment at?
 
2012-12-20 04:58:10 PM
Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?
 
2012-12-20 04:59:21 PM

buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?


Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?
 
2012-12-20 04:59:29 PM
Xmas dinner is whatever my best friend serves up at her xmas party every year. It's a thanksgiving type dinner with turkey, mashed potatoes, etc. But since she never has enough chairs, I usually use my (well trained) dog as a table.

img156.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-20 05:00:22 PM

twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?


They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.
 
2012-12-20 05:01:20 PM

buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.


Gotcha... so like a bread fritter stuffed with whole corn kernals?  Hmm... not something I'm familiar with, sorry..
 
2012-12-20 05:01:37 PM
investorplace.com

You are jealous, aren't you?

/neither am I
 
2012-12-20 05:02:54 PM

buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.


But if I WERE to make it, I'd find a good fry bread recipe, roll the dough out into small circles about 1/4" thick, stuff the circles with corn, and perhaps some lime and chili, then fold the dough over the corn and fry in 350 degree oil until brown.
 
2012-12-20 05:02:58 PM

twoody: buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.

Gotcha... so like a bread fritter stuffed with whole corn kernals?  Hmm... not something I'm familiar with, sorry..


Not stuffed, exactly. The corn was mixed into the batter, dropped by spoonfuls into the fryer.
 
2012-12-20 05:04:51 PM

buckler: twoody: buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.

Gotcha... so like a bread fritter stuffed with whole corn kernals?  Hmm... not something I'm familiar with, sorry..

Not stuffed, exactly. The corn was mixed into the batter, dropped by spoonfuls into the fryer.

Something like this: 
http://www.cooks.com/rec/doc/0,184,149182-254205,00.html
 
2012-12-20 05:05:51 PM

twoody: aprentic: twoody: aprentic: We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

I'd love her recipe.  Homemade fermentations are loads of fun!

Keep everything really really clean. I'm pretty sure I was too cavalier about that with my rotten cabbage recipe.

Wash cabbage and take off the nasty outer leaves.
Cut out the stem and chop the rest of it into thin slivers (they looked like they were about 1 or 2 mm across).
Put them in a clean container.
Add about 1 tbl of salt per lb of cabbage (this is from memory I'll check with Ms. aprentic and update if I'm wrong).
It has to be sea salt or some other salt with nothing added or it can inhibit the fermentation process.
Mix it up and squish the whole thing down (with really clean hands).
Cover it and let it sit for a while. In a day or so there should be enough water to cover the cabbage. If not add some brine or vinegar top it off.
Let it sit in a cool place for a while (ready in about a week but it gets better with age).
The cabbage has to be completely submerged in the liquid or it will go bad. Cover it to keep junk out but don't use a tight fitting lid or it will explode (an air lock works if you're using a (clean) beer making bucket)

I'll run this by Ms. aprentic and if anything is wrong I'll post an update.

Does she have a spot she likes to store it?  What temperature does it typically ferment at?


She's been storing them in the wine fridge. I don't know the exact temperature in there but it's somewhere in the range of normal white-red wine temperatures.
 
2012-12-20 05:06:12 PM

twoody: buckler: twoody: buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.

Gotcha... so like a bread fritter stuffed with whole corn kernals?  Hmm... not something I'm familiar with, sorry..

Not stuffed, exactly. The corn was mixed into the batter, dropped by spoonfuls into the fryer.
Something like this: 
http://www.cooks.com/rec/doc/0,184,149182-254205,00.html


Could be the ticket. Thanks!
 
2012-12-20 05:06:13 PM
Smoked pork butt this weekend with the kids. Christmas day will be just me so steak ala AB in cast iron and some garlic mushroom and red wine sauce. And Oswin for dessert.
 
2012-12-20 05:08:06 PM

aprentic: She's been storing them in the wine fridge. I don't know the exact temperature in there but it's somewhere in the range of normal white-red wine temperatures.


Gotcha.  Fermentation temperature makes AAAALLLL the difference in the world.  There's a cutoff somewhere around 55 degrees that transforms the acidifying bacteria into making lactic acid instead of acetic acid.  Huge difference in flavor.
 
2012-12-20 05:09:44 PM
Having dinner with the in-laws, which means turkey, lasagna, sausage stuffed mushrooms, fried artichoke, and 5 different kinds of pie.
 
2012-12-20 05:09:53 PM

twoody: bim1154: Made this turducken a few years ago. Going to do it again this year.

Nice work!  Do you debone your own birds?


Yes... pain in the ass. Been making these since before they were popular elsewhere.
 
2012-12-20 05:10:34 PM

KellyKellyKelly: 5 different kinds of pie.


It IS all about the pie!!
 
2012-12-20 05:10:53 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

There will be beer, burgers, and a double-feature of Django Unchained and The Hobbit.

/now that's doing Christmas right
 
2012-12-20 05:11:46 PM
Roast beef, mushroom gravy, green beans, and Yorkshire Pudding. For Christmas Day..For Eve we have a Spanish dinner...Cold salmon/potato/egg salad, spinach pancakes and soup.
 
2012-12-20 05:13:33 PM
 
2012-12-20 05:13:45 PM

mryoop789: We like to make Christmas a little fancy and exotic. That's why I always make my famous Spamshi...
[www.guavarose.com image 850x566]


I think I'm allergic to Spamshi's. Anytime I eat like more than 80 Spamshi's I barf
 
2012-12-20 05:16:04 PM

twoody: aprentic: She's been storing them in the wine fridge. I don't know the exact temperature in there but it's somewhere in the range of normal white-red wine temperatures.

Gotcha.  Fermentation temperature makes AAAALLLL the difference in the world.  There's a cutoff somewhere around 55 degrees that transforms the acidifying bacteria into making lactic acid instead of acetic acid.  Huge difference in flavor.


That could have been the problem with my batch. I made too much to fit in the wine fridge so I put it in the front hall. It's usually pretty cool there but who knows. I suspect that it was some contamination though. IT didn't just taste bland it was definitely rotten. (I rarely spit out food but I made an exception)
 
2012-12-20 05:18:12 PM

Shostie: Eutamias21: Shostie: my husband

[quizzicaldog.jpg]

I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...


I saw it once, and once was enough.
 
2012-12-20 05:18:24 PM

R.A.Danny: Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas
[i1231.photobucket.com image 653x490]

 
ibostonterrier.com
 
Boston Butt in reali life
 
2012-12-20 05:21:16 PM

Tax Boy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x335]

There will be beer, burgers, and a double-feature of Django Unchained and The Hobbit.

/now that's doing Christmas right


Be sure to liveblog your experience at the Alamo!
 
2012-12-20 05:23:24 PM
I think I'm going to try beef pörkölt in red wine with nokedli.

4.bp.blogspot.com

Or stuffed meat rolls.

i6.photobucket.com

Easy.
 
2012-12-20 05:24:53 PM

twoody: Occasionally rational: I want to make lemon curd and give it out as gifts with a recipe for something to use it in.

A. I've planned to use Alton Brown's recipe since it was the first one in a search and I'm too lazy to research to find out which recipe is actually the best. Good idea?

B. Do you have a recipe to suggest I give with the lemon curd?

It's pretty simple to make, and A.B.'s recipe is pretty solid.  Just be sure to add your hot liquid to your eggs, and NOT your eggs to your hot liquid.  One way makes a great curd, the other way makes lemon egg drop soup.


Hmmm. Recipe says to mix all but butter and then place bowl over simmering water until slightly thickened, then add butter later. Is there a better idea?

Thanks, by the way! I've not made it before.
 
2012-12-20 05:25:36 PM
Lasagna. 
 
No, you can't have the recipe. Family recipe and it stays in the family.
 
Oh, but are you missing out on some awesome lasagna...
 
2012-12-20 05:27:09 PM

Occasionally rational: twoody: Occasionally rational: I want to make lemon curd and give it out as gifts with a recipe for something to use it in.

A. I've planned to use Alton Brown's recipe since it was the first one in a search and I'm too lazy to research to find out which recipe is actually the best. Good idea?

B. Do you have a recipe to suggest I give with the lemon curd?

It's pretty simple to make, and A.B.'s recipe is pretty solid.  Just be sure to add your hot liquid to your eggs, and NOT your eggs to your hot liquid.  One way makes a great curd, the other way makes lemon egg drop soup.

Hmmm. Recipe says to mix all but butter and then place bowl over simmering water until slightly thickened, then add butter later. Is there a better idea?

Thanks, by the way! I've not made it before.


Some people make it by heating all but the eggs, pouring one third of the hot mix into the eggs SLOWLY, and then adding the egg/lemon mix back to the main batch. 
 
The double boiler method is a little more complex, but it takes a lot of the error factor out of it.  (easier, but more of a sure thing).
 
2012-12-20 05:30:21 PM

aprentic: twoody: aprentic: We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

I'd love her recipe.  Homemade fermentations are loads of fun!

Keep everything really really clean. I'm pretty sure I was too cavalier about that with my rotten cabbage recipe.

Wash cabbage and take off the nasty outer leaves.
Cut out the stem and chop the rest of it into thin slivers (they looked like they were about 1 or 2 mm across).
Put them in a clean container.
Add about 1 tbl of salt per lb of cabbage (this is from memory I'll check with Ms. aprentic and update if I'm wrong).
It has to be sea salt or some other salt with nothing added or it can inhibit the fermentation process.
Mix it up and squish the whole thing down (with really clean hands).
Cover it and let it sit for a while. In a day or so there should be enough water to cover the cabbage. If not add some brine or vinegar top it off.
Let it sit in a cool place for a while (ready in about a week but it gets better with age).
The cabbage has to be completely submerged in the liquid or it will go bad. Cover it to keep junk out but don't use a tight fitting lid or it will explode (an air lock works if you're using a (clean) beer making bucket)

I'll run this by Ms. aprentic and if anything is wrong I'll post an update.


UPDATE: She said she squished it until there was about an inch of water on the top on the first day.
 
2012-12-20 05:34:29 PM
Oh, yeah. We got chickens so....

Scotch Eggs!

1.bp.blogspot.com

Hard-boiled eggs wrapped in sausage and baked. (Image not mine)

And, if you want a veggie option, use Gimme Lean! "sausage" or Felafel for the outside.

Grainy mustard is the correct condiment, in any and all cases.
 
2012-12-20 05:35:00 PM

TV's Vinnie: What Farkers are saying they will have:
[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

What they're REALLY gonna have:
[www.x-entertainment.com image 452x337]


Wow....a tablecloth! That's ritzing it up. especially if you have Ritz crackers too.
 
2012-12-20 05:37:28 PM

Marcintosh: R.A.Danny: Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas
[i1231.photobucket.com image 653x490]

[ibostonterrier.com image 640x480]

Boston Butt in reali life


That second dog from the left has her paw right in that ladies puss. That's hawt!
 
2012-12-20 05:46:23 PM
I'm going to try to make rack o'lamb this year.

I'll marinade in olive oil, garlic, thyme, rosemary then start in a pan and finish in the oven.

Meat lollipops for all!

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-20 05:49:17 PM

Broktun: I'm going to try to make rack o'lamb this year.

I'll marinade in olive oil, garlic, thyme, rosemary then start in a pan and finish in the oven.

Meat lollipops for all!

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x636]


Oh yummy. I had lamb last year for Christmas eve dinner. I wonder what we'll get this year.
 
2012-12-20 05:54:50 PM
We do Christmas breakfast, not dinner. Everyone has other relatives to visit, so it just makes it more convenient. We do make a lot of food so that no one really has to cook dinner for a week or so, baked ham for sandwiches, potato salad, sausage balls, cookies, and a big pot of chili.
I know how to make breakfast, so don't have any questions.
 
2012-12-20 06:05:24 PM

Broktun: I'm going to try to make rack o'lamb this year.

I'll marinade in olive oil, garlic, thyme, rosemary then start in a pan and finish in the oven.

Meat lollipops for all!

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x636]


That looks soooo good, but unfortunately I've never acquired the taste for lamb. I've had it half a dozen or more times cooked by some reputable places and yet I still don't like it.
 
2012-12-20 06:06:23 PM
Chef (Tom) Twoody,
Since I've stopped using processed white(devil) sugar in my frybread, there seems to be a lumping problem. Here's my basic recipe and instructions I follow:

3 cups of all-purpose white(devil) flour (sifted, not sifted, i don't really know which is better, as long as you steal it from a neighbor, old lady leaving the grocery store, maybe even a cop, it's all counting coup to me)
3 tbsp baking powder (more white in a sea of powdery white... great)
1/2 tsp of salt ( I swear to the Great Spirit this has to be a white conspiracy...)
1/4 cup of honey, preferably raw, unfiltered (finally! something of color in my delicious bowl of white death!)
24-36ish ounces of luke-warm water

Set a large, deep frying pan or soup pan on the stove and add 2-4 inches of oil, set to medium-high heat.
Place flour, baking power and salt in a medium sized mixing bowl and use a pastry whisk or fork to mix throughouly.
Add honey to water and stir. Once mixed, add enough water/honey mixture to flour mixture to ensure a moistened dough forms. I use my hands, others use the fork or pastry whisk to mix until a smooth, sticky dough forms.
Place dough on a genorously floured counter and pat smooth, or roll out to 1/4 inch thickness (or you can hand form pieces of dough like the southern Natives do). I cut them with a pizza cutter into roughly triangular shapes and fry in the oil until golden brown (flipping only once).

I was taught not to over mix as it makes tough frybread, but it seems something in my mix is causing lumps since I stopped using sugar... Any ideas?
 
2012-12-20 06:09:53 PM

RelaximusPrime: but it seems something in my mix is causing lumps since I stopped using sugar... Any ideas?


A couple of questions, are the lumps basically your dough, just without water, or does it taste bitter?
 
Are you using the same water you've always used, or did that change too?
 
2012-12-20 06:12:48 PM

twoody: eraser8: I never have enough sweets at my holiday feasts (because I'm not a big fan)...so, do you have any good suggestions (other than pie)?

I like to make Baklava, but it's a HUGE pain and takes forever.  So I came up with this simple way to make it:   http://www.cookwithtom.com/?p=760


I will try to show this to my wife. She made baklava last week, because she likes it, but complained about the time.
 
2012-12-20 06:13:57 PM
Mr. Twoody,

I'm not looking for something holiday specific. If anything, I'm hoping to satisfy a New Year's resolution.

My diet is basically frozen dinners and fast food. I'd like (need) to cut out the sodium, the cholesterol, and the fat. I don't eat sweets or baked goods, so that's not the issue. What I want (need) to do is to improve my diet in general. I'm a picky eater and vegetables generally turn me off. I also don't like cooking and the associated cleanup. I'm not asking for an easy answer, but rather I'd appreciate some online resources to help me stop being a bum. Any ideas?
 
2012-12-20 06:16:02 PM

casual disregard: Any ideas?


What foods do you like to eat?
 
2012-12-20 06:16:15 PM

maniacbastard: twoody,

I want to make the ultimate meat Matryoshka doll, If I start with stuffed baby quail, what animals should I use to create a feast for 40?

Difficulty: Kosher probably needed.


Stuffed camel. google it im too lazy. Guaranteed Halal and Kosher.
 
2012-12-20 06:24:08 PM

kwame: Shostie: I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...

I think the funny part is that I'm the only other person who has seen it.


Now I don't know whether to laugh or cry being in the same group as Kwame who has actually seen this movie.
 
2012-12-20 06:32:08 PM

twoody: casual disregard: Any ideas?

What foods do you like to eat?


Poultry, pasta, rice. Also very spicy. Probably nothing good, and I guess that is the challenge. I'm trying to radically change my habits for the better.
 
2012-12-20 06:34:00 PM
cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2012-12-20 06:34:37 PM
Mr Twoody

Congrats on #3. You've inspired me to try pumpkin gnocchi for a post xmas gathering next week. Gnocchi are so easy and the citirus butter sauce really caught my eye. Thanks for the recipe and wish me luck!
 
2012-12-20 06:45:51 PM

twoody: RelaximusPrime: but it seems something in my mix is causing lumps since I stopped using sugar... Any ideas?

A couple of questions, are the lumps basically your dough, just without water, or does it taste bitter?
 
Are you using the same water you've always used, or did that change too?


Mix the honey in with the water.
 
2012-12-20 06:48:47 PM

KrustyKitten: Mr Twoody

Congrats on #3. You've inspired me to try pumpkin gnocchi for a post xmas gathering next week. Gnocchi are so easy and the citirus butter sauce really caught my eye. Thanks for the recipe and wish me luck!


Good luck!!!
 
2012-12-20 06:50:40 PM

casual disregard: twoody: casual disregard: Any ideas?

What foods do you like to eat?

Poultry, pasta, rice. Also very spicy. Probably nothing good, and I guess that is the challenge. I'm trying to radically change my habits for the better.


Stick with spicy foods!!! It does wonders for your health, as king as it's not buried in fatty sauces. You may want to check out Devin Alexander's cookbooks, she specializes in your area of need.
 
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