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(Buzzfeed)   Weekly Fark food thread: Christmas Dinners. Share your menus, ask your questions, post photos. Bonus for this week only: A special guest chef who is also a farker   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 336
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1640 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 4:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 03:59:22 PM

twoody: Yes, don't freak out if it doesn't look perfect, Use Fois Gras (mushroom duxelle should be banished), and sear your tenderloin before you wrap it in the puff pastry.

 
Ooo. Thanks for the fois gras recommendation! I've got an awesome recipe for that.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:31 PM
I'm having Turkey Siciliano. It's served face down in a shallow gravy.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:48 PM
I'll be cooking a venison roast with chunked potatoes, mushrooms, smothered in rings of onion and topped with mushroom soup. No I'm not de-glazing anything with wine or that fancy shiat. I'm going to sprinkle on some Montreal Steak Seasoning and roast it at 225 for about 5 hours.

And we'll sop up the gravy with plenty of yeasty rolls, then wash it all down with a dark, malty brew.

Aftterward, we'll gather round the fire and compare relative degrees of flatulence.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:48 PM

mryoop789: Tom,

I was just curious. How do you get your kids to sharpen your knives without them trying to stab each other. My little scamps keep ending up in the ER


Funny thing is, I just send my knives over to your house.... I guess that explains why they keep coming back looking like they were run through an autopsy.
 
2012-12-20 04:00:13 PM
Mmmmmmmmeat. 
 
That's all I got.
 
2012-12-20 04:00:19 PM

mryoop789: Shostie: Hey twoody,
 
What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for a cat that won't eat all of her green bean casserole you're a bad kitty Mr. Whiskers bad bad bad but so cuddly yes you are yes you are so cute and cuddly I just want to squeeze you and pet you and oh my God you gave me kitty kisses with your nose how sweet yes you are so sweet!
 
Thanks,
 
Shostie

I laughed really hard at this.


Yeah, I just realized that I apparently have a tranny cat.
 
2012-12-20 04:00:35 PM
twoody,
Which do you think would taste better in a chocolate cake? Koala or panda? Please show your work.
Thanks!
 
2012-12-20 04:00:54 PM

ChadM89: My christmas tradition is prime rib. I rotate other things around it based on my mood, but the prime rib, smashed potatoes (roasted garlic or truffle, usually), pan gravy and roasted root vegetables are always on the table. I ordinarily add a salad of some sort (lately I've been into mixing butter lettuce and watercress and dressing them with a nice bright vinaigrette and then adding whatever, like fruit and roasted nuts - this year I'm thinking apple or pear with hazelnuts, maybe a little roquefort), another side and at least a couple desserts. I make a walnut pie every christmas, but I'll usually add a second, just whatever comes to mind. And I always make chocolate truffles.


o.O
 
2012-12-20 04:00:57 PM
My beautiful and talented DIL will be making her awesome Penne ala Vodak, we'll have baked bread, bag-o-salad and sugar cookies for dessert. Simple but delicious.
 
2012-12-20 04:00:58 PM

soosh: Christmas is for roast anything, really.  Goose, beef rib roast, pork, chicken, duck, etc.  I think I'm going with this for this year:

[www.seriouseats.com image 610x458]


Ultra-Crispy Slow-Roasted Pork Shoulder


bookmark
 
2012-12-20 04:01:07 PM

OSULugan: I caught my teenage son doing something inappropriate with the turkey after I thawed it out. I've rinsed out the cavity and gave him a stern talking to but is it still safe to eat?

 
As long as you cook it to an internal temperature of 165 and hold the salt.
/kwame
 
2012-12-20 04:01:42 PM
i1151.photobucket.com
I got wood for ya, baby!

Oh Christ - I thought we retired this shtick.
 
hng
2012-12-20 04:01:46 PM

Gonz: Twoody,

I'm having the traditional prime rib, and in years past, my horseradish sauce just hasn't come out right. I keep it simple- horseradish, sour cream, dijon, vinegar, salt and pepper. Is there some secret ingredient I can add to make it a little more... something?


beet juice and/or ground/diced/pureed beets. Growing up I thought horseradish was supposed to be red.
 
2012-12-20 04:01:48 PM
twoody,
Could you please explain why Beastie Boys are known to let the beat
.
.
.
.
.
.nnnnnnnnndrop?
 
2012-12-20 04:02:33 PM

mryoop789: twoody,
Could you please explain why Beastie Boys are known to let the beat
.
.
.
.
.
.nnnnnnnnndrop?


Man, you just made me laugh out loud in the office.
 
2012-12-20 04:02:37 PM

twoody: /kwame


Now that's effing impressive.
 
2012-12-20 04:02:40 PM

Shostie: Eutamias21: Shostie: my husband

[quizzicaldog.jpg]

I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...


It's been awhile, but I've seen it.
 
2012-12-20 04:02:56 PM

ChadM89: There are a few of us current and former professional chefs on fark.

 
And, to think, I had you farkied as a mere foodie.  Looks like it's time to upgrade you to "professional chef."
 
2012-12-20 04:03:22 PM

Gonz: Twoody,

I'm having the traditional prime rib, and in years past, my horseradish sauce just hasn't come out right. I keep it simple- horseradish, sour cream, dijon, vinegar, salt and pepper. Is there some secret ingredient I can add to make it a little more... something?


Trust me on this one.... a little anchovy paste will work wonders. 
 
The beautiful thing about beef is the levels of glutamic acid (triggers savory sensation on the tongue).  Anchovies have a compound called inosinate that causes your tongue to sense much higher levels of glutamic acid.... in laymen's terms, your prime rib will taste much richer. 
 
As with all thing anchovy, a little dab will do you.
 
2012-12-20 04:03:23 PM

twoody: Ideally, something I could set up in the oven to cook while we're opening presents. Ideas?
 
Throw some cut up onions, sweet potatoes, and apples in the bottom of a relatively large cooking vessel (like a 6-8 qt dutch oven).  Add some rosemary, salt, and just enough orange juice to cover the veggies 3/4ths of the way up.  Add a couple of tbs of butter.  If you're so inclined, throw 1/4 cup of maple syrup or brown sugar in with it.
 
Salt the outside f a 4 lb chicken on top, and place it on top of the veggies, out of the liquid.  Put in a 375-400 degree oven until the thighs register 165 on a meat thermometer - 1 1/4 - 1/1/2 hour.


Awesome. Will try this, thanks!
 
2012-12-20 04:04:01 PM

tlchwi02: I've been thinking of doing a goose this year. all the old stories reference a christmas goose like its a thing and i've never had one. I've heard its similar to cooking a duck. anyone have any tips/tricks?


Get ready for the smell. I did a goose last year for the exact reasons you're considering doing it. It ended up tasting a lot better than it smelled, but I don't think I'll do it again. It reminded me of the way a bad Chinese restaurant smells.
 
2012-12-20 04:04:53 PM

mryoop789: Tommy,
My husband says that we need to get some garlic to ward off Jack Frost and his evil demons on Christmas Eve. I told him what we really need is yellow onions. Who's right?
Thanks,
Jen


Is Jack Frost a vampire?
 
2012-12-20 04:04:56 PM

Shostie: Eutamias21: Shostie: my husband

 
[quizzicaldog.jpg]
 
I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...
 
I've seen it.
 
I've seen pretty much every Peter Greenaway film.
 
2012-12-20 04:05:39 PM
Again with the anchovy paste.
 
It really does do wonders, though.  A little dollop behind the ears and your cat will totally let his guard down.
 
2012-12-20 04:05:52 PM

Shostie: Eutamias21: Shostie: my husband

[quizzicaldog.jpg]

I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...


Nope, I've seen it. Albeit, it was 20 years ago, but I do remember it.
 
2012-12-20 04:07:07 PM

namegoeshere: I have a box of butternut squash. I would like to serve some at Christmas dinner. How can I fancy it up? Without little marshmallows. Because no


Cube it, bake it until tender.
 
Fry up some pancetta until crisp and find a good balsamic vinaigrette (or make your own)
 
Combine and enjoy.
 
2012-12-20 04:07:24 PM
twoody,  Last I heard you were auditioning for Top Chef.  I run a Top Chef fantasy league.  Are you on it?  If not, what went wrong?  Did you meet any of the chefs on it?
 
2012-12-20 04:07:29 PM
No photos since I haven't cooked anything yet... But this year it'll be dry-aged roast duck w/ blackberry sauce, roast brussel sprouts w/ pancetta, mashed potatoes w/ gravy, whole wheat rolls, and a nice Rioja. Dessert will be pizzelles and brandy.
 
2012-12-20 04:07:42 PM

twoody: mryoop789: Tommy,
My husband says that we need to get some garlic to ward off Jack Frost and his evil demons on Christmas Eve. I told him what we really need is yellow onions. Who's right?
Thanks,
Jen

Is Jack Frost a vampire?


No, he's from Jupiter. Duh. Get your mythology straight.
 
2012-12-20 04:08:31 PM

OSULugan: Hey twoody,

I caught my teenage son doing something inappropriate with the turkey after I thawed it out. I've rinsed out the cavity and gave him a stern talking to but is it still safe to eat?


Teenage Son "Hey Ma,Whatta we having for dinner"
Ma "Turkey"
Teenage son "Already had it"
 
2012-12-20 04:08:44 PM

kwame: A little dollop behind the ears and your cat will totally let his guard down.


Mix it with peanut butter and your dog will never leave your side.
 
2012-12-20 04:09:10 PM

moogrum: twoody,  Last I heard you were auditioning for Top Chef.  I run a Top Chef fantasy league.  Are you on it?  If not, what went wrong?  Did you meet any of the chefs on it?


I really don't care what happens this season as long as hipster beardstache guy goes home. We cannot reward his beardstache.
 
2012-12-20 04:09:21 PM

moogrum: Last I heard you were auditioning for Top Chef.


I did, and didn't make the cut.  I like to think it's because I was too handsome, too married... or too good in the kitchen.
 
2012-12-20 04:09:39 PM
I like to just fill a turkey up with Brussels sprouts and mashed potatoes and throw that f*cker on the BBQ for about 13 hours.
 
2012-12-20 04:09:43 PM
Want to make but don't have a deep fryer:
 
randomcravings.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-20 04:09:52 PM
Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas
i1231.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-20 04:10:15 PM
My Dearest Thomas,
 
Wouldest thou prefer to eat a pine cone or bear poo?
 
Sincerely,
Thy Yoopster
 
2012-12-20 04:10:18 PM

twoody: namegoeshere: I have a box of butternut squash. I would like to serve some at Christmas dinner. How can I fancy it up? Without little marshmallows. Because no

Cube it, bake it until tender.

Fry up some pancetta until crisp and find a good balsamic vinaigrette (or make your own)

Combine and enjoy.


Ooh, simple and nice. I'll try this.
 
2012-12-20 04:10:41 PM

Shostie: Hey twoody,

What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for a cat that won't eat all of her green bean casserole you're a bad kitty Mr. Whiskers bad bad bad but so cuddly yes you are yes you are so cute and cuddly I just want to squeeze you and pet you and oh my God you gave me kitty kisses with your nose how sweet yes you are so sweet!

Thanks,

Shostie


I'd try to feed it veal.  If that doesn't work, feed it TO the veal.
 
2012-12-20 04:11:01 PM

twoody: moogrum: Last I heard you were auditioning for Top Chef.

I did, and didn't make the cut.  I like to think it's because I was too handsome, too married... or too good in the kitchen.


Or too humble.
 
2012-12-20 04:11:42 PM

namegoeshere: Ooh, simple and nice. I'll try this.


I forgot to add - toss the squash in a little oil, it will keep it from getting leathery in the oven.
 
2012-12-20 04:12:38 PM

mryoop789: Or too humble.


Not me... at all.
 
2012-12-20 04:12:48 PM
Do you know Alton Brown?


In my house we usually make ham. I think this year, I think we are going all seafoody. My wife and I generally share in the cooking. I make things like lobster (steamed in beer), crab legs (steamed in wine and garlic). No one makes a better salmon on the grill. My wife is particularly good with clams and shrimp.

Here is how I like to do the salmon - this comes out so good that I never order salmon out anymore. Mine's better.

Marinate the filet with some olive oil, salt and pepper, and let it sit for a while.
Get the grill piping hot. Throw the filet on skin side up. Let it sit for about 5 minutes, just enough to get that good salty glaze going. Then flip it over on to a piece of tin foil. Close the grill and don't open it again for like 15-20 (depending on the size).

When the fish done, you can scrape it right off the skin.

It comes of nice and flaky.

Ta da!!
 
2012-12-20 04:12:52 PM

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: I'm having Turkey Siciliano. It's served face down in a shallow gravy.


Haha
 
2012-12-20 04:12:56 PM
Christmas for us is usually roast pork tenderloin (my cousin, god bless her warped little mind, doesn't like turkey).  
 
I thought Ham was an Easter thing anyway?
 
2012-12-20 04:12:56 PM
My brother sent me a Harry and Davids honey baked ham and smoked turkey. So, that's whats for dinner on Christmas.
 
2012-12-20 04:13:02 PM

Shostie: I really don't care what happens this season as long as hipster beardstache guy goes home. We cannot reward his beardstache.


I hate that stupid mustache.
 
2012-12-20 04:13:15 PM

twoody: namegoeshere: Ooh, simple and nice. I'll try this.

I forgot to add - toss the squash in a little oil, it will keep it from getting leathery in the oven.


'kay. Tks. What temp? How long?
 
2012-12-20 04:13:25 PM
Dear twoody,
You look a little bit like a young version of the host from America's test Kitchen.  Are you his and Julia Child's love-child?
 
2012-12-20 04:13:49 PM

durbnpoisn: Do you know Alton Brown?


Never met him.  But I absolutely respect his work.
 
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