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(Buzzfeed)   Weekly Fark food thread: Christmas Dinners. Share your menus, ask your questions, post photos. Bonus for this week only: A special guest chef who is also a farker   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 336
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1640 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 4:58 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-19 03:35:16 PM
Howdy everybody, this week's thread has a special guest--Chef Tom, who appears on Good News Utah and is the ShopNBC culinary geek. But he's also a longtime farker that you may know as twoody
 
Hit him up with any questions you may have, ideas, he's here to hang out with us today.
 
2012-12-20 03:34:11 AM
Sooooo... Since I'm the official guest chef this week, I thought I'd give a bio.
 
First, thanks to iamrex and soosh for hosting!!!
 
I worked my way through life in the food industry until about 5 years ago when I got the wild idea to create videos on Youtube explaining how to cook stuff.
 
Fast forward to today and I appear in 80 million homes as a culinary expert on ShopNBC.  Further, I work for the ABC affiliate in my hometown, and have a show launching on an Apple app in Q1 of 2013. 
 
My perspective on food is mostly scientific, tempered with proper techniques. 
 
I'll be around for a bit in this thread and will try to answer as many questions as possible!
 
2012-12-20 03:21:50 PM
I hate when people try to tell me that Christmas is for ham and Thanksgiving is for turkey.
 
Name one f*cking Christmas song that mentions ham.  See.
 
2012-12-20 03:22:00 PM
Here's Mrs. Henry's spread:
i1151.photobucket.com

Here's Mrs. Henry looking eager at my suggestion to "spread 'em":
i1151.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-20 03:23:35 PM
You'll get nothing,
farm4.staticflickr.com
and like it!
 
2012-12-20 03:24:08 PM

kwame: I hate when people try to tell me that Christmas is for ham and Thanksgiving is for turkey.

 
Christmas is for lamb and duck.  Or, at least, it is in my house.
 
Also, foie gras.
 
2012-12-20 03:24:44 PM

oldfarthenry: Here's Mrs. Henry's spread:
[i1151.photobucket.com image 299x399]

Here's Mrs. Henry looking eager at my suggestion to "spread 'em":
[i1151.photobucket.com image 399x400]


What year is that from?
 
2012-12-20 03:25:15 PM
All I know so far is that we are having prime rib.
 
2012-12-20 03:25:25 PM
Last year I made kielbasa because my grandparents are all dead.  Never again.  Is it supposed to be so difficult to get the ground meat to go into the casing?  grrrrrr
 
2012-12-20 03:26:52 PM

moogrum: Is it supposed to be so difficult to get the ground meat to go into the casing?


You have to practice to get it right.
 
2012-12-20 03:28:07 PM

moogrum: Last year I made kielbasa because my grandparents are all dead.  Never again.  Is it supposed to be so difficult to get the ground meat to go into the casing?  grrrrrr


Did you use a casing stuffer?
/also, my nickname is casing stuffer...
 
2012-12-20 03:28:22 PM
In my house, Christmas is for filet mignon, garlic mashed potatoes, and whatever vegetable is remembered at the last minute. And some Sangiovese.
 
2012-12-20 03:29:23 PM

twoody: Did you use a casing stuffer?
/also, my nickname is casing stuffer...


I used my grandmother's one from like the 60s.  Maybe I need a new one, the meat just wouldn't go down the tube easily. 
 
There's no way to discuss this without sounding sexual.
 
2012-12-20 03:30:17 PM

eraser8: oldfarthenry: Here's Mrs. Henry's spread:
[i1151.photobucket.com image 299x399]

Here's Mrs. Henry looking eager at my suggestion to "spread 'em":
[i1151.photobucket.com image 399x400]

What year is that from?


Let's just say "last century".
 
2012-12-20 03:30:30 PM
Christmas is for roast anything, really.  Goose, beef rib roast, pork, chicken, duck, etc.  I think I'm going with this for this year:
 
www.seriouseats.com
 
 
Ultra-Crispy Slow-Roasted Pork Shoulder
 
2012-12-20 03:32:50 PM
I usually make a prime rib, but this year I'll be in Tahoe, so I will order oysters rockefeller and prime rib with a lobster tail and see how much of it I can pack away.
 
2012-12-20 03:33:20 PM
I'm trying something new this year instead of some of the things I've done for past Christmas dinners (turkey, chicken, pot roast). This year I'm cooking a pork roast in the Crock Pot. Accompanied by homemade mashed potatoes, relish tray and homemade chocolate cake for dessert.
 
2012-12-20 03:36:35 PM

soosh: I think I'm going with this for this year:


That looks amazing!!!!!
 
2012-12-20 03:36:59 PM

Purelilac: oysters rockefeller


yea!
 
I haven't had that in far too long.  Same with oysters bienville.
 
2012-12-20 03:37:36 PM

moogrum: the meat just wouldn't go down the tube easily.


Needs more lube....
 
Seriously though, it's an art that can take a little while to get right.
 
2012-12-20 03:38:56 PM
In that link, they sure as hell know how to overcook some of those meats...
 
2012-12-20 03:39:01 PM

twoody: Sooooo... Since I'm the official guest chef this week, I thought I'd give a bio.

First, thanks to iamrex and soosh for hosting!!!

I worked my way through life in the food industry until about 5 years ago when I got the wild idea to create videos on Youtube explaining how to cook stuff.

Fast forward to today and I appear in 80 million homes as a culinary expert on ShopNBC.  Further, I work for the ABC affiliate in my hometown, and have a show launching on an Apple app in Q1 of 2013.

My perspective on food is mostly scientific, tempered with proper techniques.

I'll be around for a bit in this thread and will try to answer as many questions as possible!


post a link to your youtube?
 
2012-12-20 03:40:22 PM

Purelilac: post a link to your youtube?

 
Most of them have been pulled down, but I still keep a few over at my website:  www.cookwithtom.com
 
2012-12-20 03:40:48 PM
Welcome, twoody
 
Here's a question: what's something seasonal that's relatively easy to make that will score me some points with the in-laws when I visit them on Christmas day? Ideally, something I could set up in the oven to cook while we're opening presents. Ideas?
 
2012-12-20 03:41:58 PM

SmackLT: Here's a question: what's something seasonal that's relatively easy to make that will score me some points with the in-laws when I visit them on Christmas day? Ideally, something I could set up in the oven to cook while we're opening presents. Ideas?


Helloooo.... sweet or savory?
 
2012-12-20 03:42:32 PM
From an email today from the future mother-in-law:
 
I am just thinking about Xmas food.I am planning lamb for Xmas, grilled salmon, veggie lausagne xmas eve, soup and many different salads. If you have veggie ideas bring the recipes along.Morgan did you make ratatouille last year? I can't remember. Anything would be great and much appreciated!
 
Totes adorbs.
 
2012-12-20 03:43:29 PM

Eutamias21: From an email today from the future mother-in-law:

 
Wait... does this mean you're off the market?
 
2012-12-20 03:43:59 PM
Hello twoody!

I have a question. I bought a deep frier for Friendsgiving and served up some great fried turkey. I thought I'd treat my parents this Christmas to a fried turkey, but maybe you have other suggestions for what I can deep fry?
 
2012-12-20 03:44:09 PM

twoody: SmackLT: Here's a question: what's something seasonal that's relatively easy to make that will score me some points with the in-laws when I visit them on Christmas day? Ideally, something I could set up in the oven to cook while we're opening presents. Ideas?

Helloooo.... sweet or savory?


With all of the desserts that will already be there, I've gotta go savory.
 
2012-12-20 03:44:20 PM
I want to glaze a ham with something other than brown sugar or honey any of you have success with something a little more say... Exotic? Also I have a confession I hate Christmas! But seriously ham glaze GO!
 
2012-12-20 03:44:32 PM
The chick is braising lamb in her new Dutch oven.  Not sure what all sides she's doing yet.
 
2012-12-20 03:44:43 PM

twoody: Eutamias21: From an email today from the future mother-in-law:
 
Wait... does this mean you're off the market?

 
Why, you wanna make me an offer I can't refuse?
 
2012-12-20 03:45:22 PM
I've been thinking of doing a goose this year. all the old stories reference a christmas goose like its a thing and i've never had one. I've heard its similar to cooking a duck. anyone have any tips/tricks?
 
2012-12-20 03:45:41 PM

SmackLT: twoody: SmackLT: Here's a question: what's something seasonal that's relatively easy to make that will score me some points with the in-laws when I visit them on Christmas day? Ideally, something I could set up in the oven to cook while we're opening presents. Ideas?

Helloooo.... sweet or savory?

With all of the desserts that will already be there, I've gotta go savory.


I never have enough sweets at my holiday feasts (because I'm not a big fan)...so, do you have any good suggestions (other than pie)?
 
2012-12-20 03:46:20 PM
T-Bone and lobster here. Can't wait.
 
2012-12-20 03:46:40 PM
Yeah, I have a question. My turkey is in the deep freeze. How long is it going to take to defrost in my fridge? It's 11 lbs I think.

I also have a big ham on the bone frozen for Christmas eve. Same question.
 
2012-12-20 03:47:00 PM
Hi!
 
Here's my question:
 
How long should I microwave an egg before it's hard-boiled?
 
2012-12-20 03:47:01 PM
Standing rib roast and yorkshire pudding
 
2012-12-20 03:47:12 PM
Hi twoody,
 
Long time follower first time stalker.
 
When I sneak into your house over the holidays, I notice a very nice aromatic smell that isn't usually there.  Are there special Christmas (or whatever Mormons do) herbs that you use during this season?
 
Love,
 
kwame
 
2012-12-20 03:47:20 PM
So Mrs. Lugan and I have been discussing either a prime rib roast, a goose or a duck for Christmas. My family traditionally did a turkey or lamb on Christmas. Her family did Ham. We are compromising.

I think we're leaning towards the prime rib roast, since she's never cooked goose or duck. Any pursuasive arguments for us to put a bird on the table?

Also, I saw this great recipe for grilled brussel sprouts doused in a sugar balsamic vinaigrette with dried cranberries. Good compliment to the prime rib, I think. Not so sure about goose or duck.
 
2012-12-20 03:47:36 PM
thekingoftexas.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-20 03:47:46 PM
I'm making tabouli for christmas at my mother's request.
 
2012-12-20 03:48:11 PM
Prime rib or rack of lamb. There are no substitutes.
 
2012-12-20 03:48:30 PM
i1151.photobucket.com
Jack got the girl of his dreams - and a reach around.
Twas a Christmas miracle!
 
2012-12-20 03:48:47 PM
So, Tommy-
 
I was wondering, if my ham has a little white stuff growing on it, I can totally cut that off and cook the rest, right?
 
2012-12-20 03:48:49 PM
Hi Twoody!
 
I've always wanted to make Beef Wellington. I think I've finally mustered up the courage to attempt one. Any suggestions for a first-timer?
 
2012-12-20 03:49:02 PM
Ideally, something I could set up in the oven to cook while we're opening presents. Ideas?
 
Throw some cut up onions, sweet potatoes, and apples in the bottom of a relatively large cooking vessel (like a 6-8 qt dutch oven).  Add some rosemary, salt, and just enough orange juice to cover the veggies 3/4ths of the way up.  Add a couple of tbs of butter.  If you're so inclined, throw 1/4 cup of maple syrup or brown sugar in with it.
 
Salt the outside f a 4 lb chicken on top, and place it on top of the veggies, out of the liquid.  Put in a 375-400 degree oven until the thighs register 165 on a meat thermometer - 1 1/4 - 1/1/2 hour.
 
2012-12-20 03:49:04 PM
We'll be having the traditional Chinese take-out on Christmas eve, followed by the even more traditional Christmas Lasagna on Christmas day.
 
2012-12-20 03:49:21 PM

jtown: [thekingoftexas.files.wordpress.com image 506x395]


So, do you just eat that with your hands until your stainless tableware arrives in the mail?
 
2012-12-20 03:49:30 PM

twoody: Sooooo... Since I'm the official guest chef this week, I thought I'd give a bio.
 
First, thanks to iamrex and soosh for hosting!!!
 
I worked my way through life in the food industry until about 5 years ago when I got the wild idea to create videos on Youtube explaining how to cook stuff.
 
Fast forward to today and I appear in 80 million homes as a culinary expert on ShopNBC.  Further, I work for the ABC affiliate in my hometown, and have a show launching on an Apple app in Q1 of 2013. 
 
My perspective on food is mostly scientific, tempered with proper techniques. 
 
I'll be around for a bit in this thread and will try to answer as many questions as possible!


I recently acquired an induction cooker and want to try to do a poor mans sous vide on it.  I have a vacume sealer.  Any tips/trips/easy recipes that would work decently with that setup?
 
2012-12-20 03:49:58 PM

tlchwi02: I've been thinking of doing a goose this year. all the old stories reference a christmas goose like its a thing and i've never had one. I've heard its similar to cooking a duck. anyone have any tips/tricks?

 
it's a lot like cooking a duck.  there will be tons of rendered fat.   you might want to look into some crispy duck techniques where the duck is steamed and then roasted.  I've done a goose before just straight roasted, stuffed with homemade sauerkraut.  It was great.
 
2012-12-20 03:50:09 PM
Hi, twoody,
 
I was just wondering how long it would take to cook a person, like, say, kwame.
 
You see, it's all part of this elaborate revenge fantasy. I plan to present the cooked kwame to my husband and say, "try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy, and you know where it's been," as a sort of epic denouement and an homage to a cult movie that no one's seen but me.
 
Thanks,
 
Shostie
 
2012-12-20 03:50:14 PM
Ooooooooohhh.  That explains all the crosses and Mary statues I saw in your bedroom. 
 
Sorry Tom.
 
2012-12-20 03:50:37 PM

jtown: [thekingoftexas.files.wordpress.com image 506x395]

 
Oh, please, PLEASE tell me you're really going to eat a 40-year-old frozen dinner.
 
That would be the coolest thing ever.
 
hng
2012-12-20 03:50:38 PM

twoody: moogrum: the meat just wouldn't go down the tube easily.

Needs more lube....

Seriously though, it's an art that can take a little while to get right.


Try keeping the meet really cold, but you'll still end up angry. The best solution is a vertical press. I can stuff 5lbs in 5minutes.

i.pgcdn.com

Link
 
2012-12-20 03:50:38 PM
i1151.photobucket.com
It's Christmas and we're eating goddamn squirrel food!
I hate chestnuts.
 
2012-12-20 03:50:56 PM

shakenasababy: but maybe you have other suggestions for what I can deep fry?

 
You can deep fry ANYTHING!!!!! 
 
Well, except for basil, it tends to wilt unless you have a good batter around it.
 
I don't deep fry much due to health reasons, but LOVE to do a sweet potato tater tot.  Here's an easy recipe: http://www.cookwithtom.com/?p=518
 
2012-12-20 03:50:58 PM

Shostie: my husband


[quizzicaldog.jpg]
 
2012-12-20 03:51:24 PM
On Christmas eve I generally prepare the Italian style "Feast of the Seven Fishes" although I don't usually make it to all seven.

The must-have is the salted cod, or Baccala as we say and you have to soak if for a few days changing the water, but it is so delicious. You can serve it cold with lemon and very good olive oil or warm with potato.

For starters I make a nice soup with clams and shrimp, then we have a pasta course with scallops. And then usually a baked trout or something.
 
2012-12-20 03:51:28 PM
Loompias (Chinese spring roll)
Loompers (Spicy pork in coconut-milk-sticky rice)
BowPows (Porky goodness in a sweet dumpling)
Thai Curry Soup
Spicy Lemon Chicken

And Jack, Johnny, and Jameson.
 
2012-12-20 03:51:40 PM
Pics of your wife?
 
2012-12-20 03:51:48 PM
Tom,
 
I was just curious. How do you get your kids to sharpen your knives without them trying to stab each other. My little scamps keep ending up in the ER.
 
Love,
Yoop
 
2012-12-20 03:51:59 PM
I've had this for about 15 years. Maybe it's time to eat it.
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-20 03:52:18 PM

eraser8: I never have enough sweets at my holiday feasts (because I'm not a big fan)...so, do you have any good suggestions (other than pie)?


I like to make Baklava, but it's a HUGE pain and takes forever.  So I came up with this simple way to make it:   http://www.cookwithtom.com/?p=760
 
2012-12-20 03:52:29 PM

soosh: tlchwi02: I've been thinking of doing a goose this year. all the old stories reference a christmas goose like its a thing and i've never had one. I've heard its similar to cooking a duck. anyone have any tips/tricks?

it's a lot like cooking a duck.  there will be tons of rendered fat.   you might want to look into some crispy duck techniques where the duck is steamed and then roasted.  I've done a goose before just straight roasted, stuffed with homemade sauerkraut.  It was great.


And if you cook a goose you must make goose fat potatoes.
 
2012-12-20 03:52:30 PM
 
2012-12-20 03:52:52 PM

PanicAttack: I've always wanted to make Beef Wellington. I think I've finally mustered up the courage to attempt one. Any suggestions for a first-timer?

 
Am I the only one who thinks the pastry on a Beef Wellington is often way too thick?  But, then, I think that about most pastry.
 
2012-12-20 03:53:25 PM

eraser8: PanicAttack: I've always wanted to make Beef Wellington. I think I've finally mustered up the courage to attempt one. Any suggestions for a first-timer?
 
Am I the only one who thinks the pastry on a Beef Wellington is often way too thick?  But, then, I think that about most pastry.


This is prob going to be the main course for my xmas dinner
 
2012-12-20 03:53:44 PM

mryoop789: How long should I microwave an egg before it's hard-boiled?


20 minutes at 1% power
/don't do this
 
2012-12-20 03:53:46 PM
Hey twoody,

I caught my teenage son doing something inappropriate with the turkey after I thawed it out. I've rinsed out the cavity and gave him a stern talking to but is it still safe to eat?
 
2012-12-20 03:53:56 PM

atlfarkette: All I know so far is that we are having prime rib.


Good choice. That's what poppa Aristotle is cocking as well.
 
2012-12-20 03:54:06 PM
I was trying to make mashed potatoes, and I boiled the potatoes for like an hour, but I still couldn't mash them. Should I have cut them up first, or something?
 
2012-12-20 03:54:23 PM
At my gal's house, on Christmas eve we stuff ourselves silly with fresh oysters (with garlic butter, hot sauce, and horseradish). Then on Christmas day it's fried turkey.

We recently got a Big Easy infrared fryer. No oil. It works GREAT! 13 minutes per pound, no oil to buy or heat up or dispose.

/Smoking a 7.5 Boston butt tomorrow
//I SMOKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE
 
2012-12-20 03:54:24 PM

Shostie: I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...


I think the funny part is that I'm the only other person who has seen it.
 
2012-12-20 03:54:27 PM
I have a box of butternut squash. I would like to serve some at Christmas dinner. How can I fancy it up? Without little marshmallows. Because no.
 
2012-12-20 03:54:32 PM

moogrum: I used my grandmother's one from like the 60s. Maybe I need a new one, the meat just wouldn't go down the tube easily.


I have used a 2-liter soda bottle as a stuffer in a pinch. Cut off the end, put the casing over the threaded lip area fill the bottle with meat and jam your fist in the bottle, you can use a big can or something if your fists won't fill bottle orifice.

That didn't sound sexual at all.
 
2012-12-20 03:54:53 PM

kwame: When I sneak into your house over the holidays, I notice a very nice aromatic smell that isn't usually there. Are there special Christmas (or whatever Mormons do) herbs that you use during this season?


Of course, we LOVE to use the leftover souls of the dead people we baptize.  It gives off a very unique smell, and is much more savory than you would expect.
 
/live in Utah
//not Mormon.
 
2012-12-20 03:55:14 PM
Twoody,

I'm having the traditional prime rib, and in years past, my horseradish sauce just hasn't come out right. I keep it simple- horseradish, sour cream, dijon, vinegar, salt and pepper. Is there some secret ingredient I can add to make it a little more... something?
 
2012-12-20 03:55:32 PM

Sapper_Topo: I want to glaze a ham with something other than brown sugar or honey any of you have success with something a little more say... Exotic? Also I have a confession I hate Christmas! But seriously ham glaze GO!


Molasses? Maple syrup? Pineapple juice? Mustard + butter? So many options...
 
2012-12-20 03:55:45 PM

Shostie: Eutamias21: Shostie: my husband

[quizzicaldog.jpg]

I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...


No you're not at all. It's one of my favs (stylistically) and my friends have done Halloween costumes based on it.
 
2012-12-20 03:55:51 PM

namegoeshere: I have a box of butternut squash. I would like to serve some at Christmas dinner. How can I fancy it up? Without little marshmallows. Because no.


My mom makes this and it's one of my favorite things on the planet:
 
Squash Souffle
 
1 10 oz pkg frozen squash
1 stick butter
½ cup sugar (this is on the sweet side, so reduce according to taste)
½ cup flour
2 cups milk (I use 1 milk and 1 cream)
3 eggs (beaten and added one at a time)
 
I recommend buying a soufflé dish if you don't have one.  It is a flat bottomed, circular shaped 'pan' with high sides.  Grease the sides with dab of butter and then flour very lightly.
Cook the squash with butter on low heat.  Remove from the stove.  Add ½ cup sugar and ½ cup flour.  Add 3 eggs, one at a time.  Add the milk and cream, stirring, then cinnamon
and a dash of nutmeg.  Bake at 350 for 1 to 1½ hours.
 
2012-12-20 03:56:02 PM

PanicAttack: I've always wanted to make Beef Wellington. I think I've finally mustered up the courage to attempt one. Any suggestions for a first-timer?


Yes, don't freak out if it doesn't look perfect, Use Fois Gras (mushroom duxelle should be banished), and sear your tenderloin before you wrap it in the puff pastry.
 
2012-12-20 03:56:06 PM
Hey twoody,
 
What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for a cat that won't eat all of her green bean casserole you're a bad kitty Mr. Whiskers bad bad bad but so cuddly yes you are yes you are so cute and cuddly I just want to squeeze you and pet you and oh my God you gave me kitty kisses with your nose how sweet yes you are so sweet!
 
Thanks,
 
Shostie
 
2012-12-20 03:56:10 PM

hng: I can stuff 5lbs in 5minutes.


Oblig: That's what she said.
 
2012-12-20 03:56:20 PM

twoody: eraser8: I never have enough sweets at my holiday feasts (because I'm not a big fan)...so, do you have any good suggestions (other than pie)?

 
I like to make Baklava, but it's a HUGE pain and takes forever.  So I came up with this simple way to make it:   http://www.cookwithtom.com/?p=760
 
Ooooh.  I love me some Baklava.
 
And, don't worry.  I'll give credit your recipe to the assembled...eventually.
 
2012-12-20 03:56:36 PM

eraser8: Am I the only one who thinks the pastry on a Beef Wellington is often way too thick?  But, then, I think that about most pastry.

 
As long as it's flaky, I usually don't mind the bulk, but I could see how it could become too bulky if it's not not flaky enough.
 
2012-12-20 03:56:39 PM
Pork Shoulder BBQ at my house this year.
 
2012-12-20 03:56:55 PM
Crab blinis, salmon carpaccio, skewer of shrimp and mango, citrus chicken for the main course because a turkey is way too big.  Wines will probably be Chateaux Lynch-Bages and Tokaji (with dessert).
 
Yes, that's a red wine with chicken.  Your point?
 
2012-12-20 03:56:59 PM
twoody,

I want to make the ultimate meat Matryoshka doll, If I start with stuffed baby quail, what animals should I use to create a feast for 40?

Difficulty: Kosher probably needed.
 
2012-12-20 03:57:00 PM
Tommy,
My husband says that we need to get some garlic to ward off Jack Frost and his evil demons on Christmas Eve. I told him what we really need is yellow onions. Who's right?
Thanks,
Jen
 
2012-12-20 03:57:20 PM

kwame: I think the funny part is that I'm the only other person who has seen it.

 

Mrs.Sharpier: No you're not at all. It's one of my favs (stylistically) and my friends have done Halloween costumes based on it.


We should form a club!
 
2012-12-20 03:57:59 PM

mryoop789: Tommy,
My husband says that we need to get some garlic to ward off Jack Frost and his evil demons on Christmas Eve. I told him what we really need is yellow onions. Who's right?
Thanks,
Jen


I'll field this one.
 
You need shallots.
 
2012-12-20 03:58:12 PM
NickelP:   I recently acquired an induction cooker and want to try to do a poor mans sous vide on it.  I have a vacume sealer.  Any tips/trips/easy recipes that would work decently with that setup?

Start with fish.  It is done quickly, and if you screw up the temperature on your poor mans sous vide, you won't be out a ton of time.
 
My hands down FAVORITE sous vide recipe is 72 hour short ribs.  There are plenty of recipes for it on the interweb.  When I make it I coat the hell out of the short ribs in peppercorns and let that baby simmer.
 
2012-12-20 03:58:21 PM

Shostie: Hey twoody,
 
What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for a cat that won't eat all of her green bean casserole you're a bad kitty Mr. Whiskers bad bad bad but so cuddly yes you are yes you are so cute and cuddly I just want to squeeze you and pet you and oh my God you gave me kitty kisses with your nose how sweet yes you are so sweet!
 
Thanks,
 
Shostie


I laughed really hard at this.
 
2012-12-20 03:58:24 PM

mryoop789: Hi!
 
Here's my question:
 
How long should I microwave an egg before it's hard-boiled?


hahahahadlkfjxc.k
 
2012-12-20 03:58:42 PM
I will join any club that involves Mrs. Sharpier and watching movies naked.
 
We are going to watch movies naked, right?
 
2012-12-20 03:58:45 PM
There are a few of us current and former professional chefs on fark. I got out of the game about a decade ago but not because I stopped loving to cook, just got tired of everything that goes along with doing it for a living. Who's the other farker that's always in all the food threads going on about his staff and plating? Starts with an h, I think. Anyway.

My christmas tradition is prime rib. I rotate other things around it based on my mood, but the prime rib, smashed potatoes (roasted garlic or truffle, usually), pan gravy and roasted root vegetables are always on the table. I ordinarily add a salad of some sort (lately I've been into mixing butter lettuce and watercress and dressing them with a nice bright vinaigrette and then adding whatever, like fruit and roasted nuts - this year I'm thinking apple or pear with hazelnuts, maybe a little roquefort), another side and at least a couple desserts. I make a walnut pie every christmas, but I'll usually add a second, just whatever comes to mind. And I always make chocolate truffles.
 
2012-12-20 03:58:45 PM

special20: I've had this for about 15 years. Maybe it's time to eat it.
[i.imgur.com image 400x300]


I like fruit cake. Go through 2-3 of them every December.

/Yes, I'm THE guy.
//I'm the only one I know of.
///Seriously.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:09 PM

kwame: I will join any club that involves Mrs. Sharpier and watching movies naked.
 
We are going to watch movies naked, right?


Gross.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:11 PM
SEVEN COURSE FARK DINNER:

A pizza and a six--pack.

\\\ thread over.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:22 PM

twoody: Yes, don't freak out if it doesn't look perfect, Use Fois Gras (mushroom duxelle should be banished), and sear your tenderloin before you wrap it in the puff pastry.

 
Ooo. Thanks for the fois gras recommendation! I've got an awesome recipe for that.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:31 PM
I'm having Turkey Siciliano. It's served face down in a shallow gravy.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:48 PM
I'll be cooking a venison roast with chunked potatoes, mushrooms, smothered in rings of onion and topped with mushroom soup. No I'm not de-glazing anything with wine or that fancy shiat. I'm going to sprinkle on some Montreal Steak Seasoning and roast it at 225 for about 5 hours.

And we'll sop up the gravy with plenty of yeasty rolls, then wash it all down with a dark, malty brew.

Aftterward, we'll gather round the fire and compare relative degrees of flatulence.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:48 PM

mryoop789: Tom,

I was just curious. How do you get your kids to sharpen your knives without them trying to stab each other. My little scamps keep ending up in the ER


Funny thing is, I just send my knives over to your house.... I guess that explains why they keep coming back looking like they were run through an autopsy.
 
2012-12-20 04:00:13 PM
Mmmmmmmmeat. 
 
That's all I got.
 
2012-12-20 04:00:19 PM

mryoop789: Shostie: Hey twoody,
 
What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for a cat that won't eat all of her green bean casserole you're a bad kitty Mr. Whiskers bad bad bad but so cuddly yes you are yes you are so cute and cuddly I just want to squeeze you and pet you and oh my God you gave me kitty kisses with your nose how sweet yes you are so sweet!
 
Thanks,
 
Shostie

I laughed really hard at this.


Yeah, I just realized that I apparently have a tranny cat.
 
2012-12-20 04:00:35 PM
twoody,
Which do you think would taste better in a chocolate cake? Koala or panda? Please show your work.
Thanks!
 
2012-12-20 04:00:54 PM

ChadM89: My christmas tradition is prime rib. I rotate other things around it based on my mood, but the prime rib, smashed potatoes (roasted garlic or truffle, usually), pan gravy and roasted root vegetables are always on the table. I ordinarily add a salad of some sort (lately I've been into mixing butter lettuce and watercress and dressing them with a nice bright vinaigrette and then adding whatever, like fruit and roasted nuts - this year I'm thinking apple or pear with hazelnuts, maybe a little roquefort), another side and at least a couple desserts. I make a walnut pie every christmas, but I'll usually add a second, just whatever comes to mind. And I always make chocolate truffles.


o.O
 
2012-12-20 04:00:57 PM
My beautiful and talented DIL will be making her awesome Penne ala Vodak, we'll have baked bread, bag-o-salad and sugar cookies for dessert. Simple but delicious.
 
2012-12-20 04:00:58 PM

soosh: Christmas is for roast anything, really.  Goose, beef rib roast, pork, chicken, duck, etc.  I think I'm going with this for this year:

[www.seriouseats.com image 610x458]


Ultra-Crispy Slow-Roasted Pork Shoulder


bookmark
 
2012-12-20 04:01:07 PM

OSULugan: I caught my teenage son doing something inappropriate with the turkey after I thawed it out. I've rinsed out the cavity and gave him a stern talking to but is it still safe to eat?

 
As long as you cook it to an internal temperature of 165 and hold the salt.
/kwame
 
2012-12-20 04:01:42 PM
i1151.photobucket.com
I got wood for ya, baby!

Oh Christ - I thought we retired this shtick.
 
hng
2012-12-20 04:01:46 PM

Gonz: Twoody,

I'm having the traditional prime rib, and in years past, my horseradish sauce just hasn't come out right. I keep it simple- horseradish, sour cream, dijon, vinegar, salt and pepper. Is there some secret ingredient I can add to make it a little more... something?


beet juice and/or ground/diced/pureed beets. Growing up I thought horseradish was supposed to be red.
 
2012-12-20 04:01:48 PM
twoody,
Could you please explain why Beastie Boys are known to let the beat
.
.
.
.
.
.nnnnnnnnndrop?
 
2012-12-20 04:02:33 PM

mryoop789: twoody,
Could you please explain why Beastie Boys are known to let the beat
.
.
.
.
.
.nnnnnnnnndrop?


Man, you just made me laugh out loud in the office.
 
2012-12-20 04:02:37 PM

twoody: /kwame


Now that's effing impressive.
 
2012-12-20 04:02:40 PM

Shostie: Eutamias21: Shostie: my husband

[quizzicaldog.jpg]

I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...


It's been awhile, but I've seen it.
 
2012-12-20 04:02:56 PM

ChadM89: There are a few of us current and former professional chefs on fark.

 
And, to think, I had you farkied as a mere foodie.  Looks like it's time to upgrade you to "professional chef."
 
2012-12-20 04:03:22 PM

Gonz: Twoody,

I'm having the traditional prime rib, and in years past, my horseradish sauce just hasn't come out right. I keep it simple- horseradish, sour cream, dijon, vinegar, salt and pepper. Is there some secret ingredient I can add to make it a little more... something?


Trust me on this one.... a little anchovy paste will work wonders. 
 
The beautiful thing about beef is the levels of glutamic acid (triggers savory sensation on the tongue).  Anchovies have a compound called inosinate that causes your tongue to sense much higher levels of glutamic acid.... in laymen's terms, your prime rib will taste much richer. 
 
As with all thing anchovy, a little dab will do you.
 
2012-12-20 04:03:23 PM

twoody: Ideally, something I could set up in the oven to cook while we're opening presents. Ideas?
 
Throw some cut up onions, sweet potatoes, and apples in the bottom of a relatively large cooking vessel (like a 6-8 qt dutch oven).  Add some rosemary, salt, and just enough orange juice to cover the veggies 3/4ths of the way up.  Add a couple of tbs of butter.  If you're so inclined, throw 1/4 cup of maple syrup or brown sugar in with it.
 
Salt the outside f a 4 lb chicken on top, and place it on top of the veggies, out of the liquid.  Put in a 375-400 degree oven until the thighs register 165 on a meat thermometer - 1 1/4 - 1/1/2 hour.


Awesome. Will try this, thanks!
 
2012-12-20 04:04:01 PM

tlchwi02: I've been thinking of doing a goose this year. all the old stories reference a christmas goose like its a thing and i've never had one. I've heard its similar to cooking a duck. anyone have any tips/tricks?


Get ready for the smell. I did a goose last year for the exact reasons you're considering doing it. It ended up tasting a lot better than it smelled, but I don't think I'll do it again. It reminded me of the way a bad Chinese restaurant smells.
 
2012-12-20 04:04:53 PM

mryoop789: Tommy,
My husband says that we need to get some garlic to ward off Jack Frost and his evil demons on Christmas Eve. I told him what we really need is yellow onions. Who's right?
Thanks,
Jen


Is Jack Frost a vampire?
 
2012-12-20 04:04:56 PM

Shostie: Eutamias21: Shostie: my husband

 
[quizzicaldog.jpg]
 
I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...
 
I've seen it.
 
I've seen pretty much every Peter Greenaway film.
 
2012-12-20 04:05:39 PM
Again with the anchovy paste.
 
It really does do wonders, though.  A little dollop behind the ears and your cat will totally let his guard down.
 
2012-12-20 04:05:52 PM

Shostie: Eutamias21: Shostie: my husband

[quizzicaldog.jpg]

I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...


Nope, I've seen it. Albeit, it was 20 years ago, but I do remember it.
 
2012-12-20 04:07:07 PM

namegoeshere: I have a box of butternut squash. I would like to serve some at Christmas dinner. How can I fancy it up? Without little marshmallows. Because no


Cube it, bake it until tender.
 
Fry up some pancetta until crisp and find a good balsamic vinaigrette (or make your own)
 
Combine and enjoy.
 
2012-12-20 04:07:24 PM
twoody,  Last I heard you were auditioning for Top Chef.  I run a Top Chef fantasy league.  Are you on it?  If not, what went wrong?  Did you meet any of the chefs on it?
 
2012-12-20 04:07:29 PM
No photos since I haven't cooked anything yet... But this year it'll be dry-aged roast duck w/ blackberry sauce, roast brussel sprouts w/ pancetta, mashed potatoes w/ gravy, whole wheat rolls, and a nice Rioja. Dessert will be pizzelles and brandy.
 
2012-12-20 04:07:42 PM

twoody: mryoop789: Tommy,
My husband says that we need to get some garlic to ward off Jack Frost and his evil demons on Christmas Eve. I told him what we really need is yellow onions. Who's right?
Thanks,
Jen

Is Jack Frost a vampire?


No, he's from Jupiter. Duh. Get your mythology straight.
 
2012-12-20 04:08:31 PM

OSULugan: Hey twoody,

I caught my teenage son doing something inappropriate with the turkey after I thawed it out. I've rinsed out the cavity and gave him a stern talking to but is it still safe to eat?


Teenage Son "Hey Ma,Whatta we having for dinner"
Ma "Turkey"
Teenage son "Already had it"
 
2012-12-20 04:08:44 PM

kwame: A little dollop behind the ears and your cat will totally let his guard down.


Mix it with peanut butter and your dog will never leave your side.
 
2012-12-20 04:09:10 PM

moogrum: twoody,  Last I heard you were auditioning for Top Chef.  I run a Top Chef fantasy league.  Are you on it?  If not, what went wrong?  Did you meet any of the chefs on it?


I really don't care what happens this season as long as hipster beardstache guy goes home. We cannot reward his beardstache.
 
2012-12-20 04:09:21 PM

moogrum: Last I heard you were auditioning for Top Chef.


I did, and didn't make the cut.  I like to think it's because I was too handsome, too married... or too good in the kitchen.
 
2012-12-20 04:09:39 PM
I like to just fill a turkey up with Brussels sprouts and mashed potatoes and throw that f*cker on the BBQ for about 13 hours.
 
2012-12-20 04:09:43 PM
Want to make but don't have a deep fryer:
 
randomcravings.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-20 04:09:52 PM
Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas
i1231.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-20 04:10:15 PM
My Dearest Thomas,
 
Wouldest thou prefer to eat a pine cone or bear poo?
 
Sincerely,
Thy Yoopster
 
2012-12-20 04:10:18 PM

twoody: namegoeshere: I have a box of butternut squash. I would like to serve some at Christmas dinner. How can I fancy it up? Without little marshmallows. Because no

Cube it, bake it until tender.

Fry up some pancetta until crisp and find a good balsamic vinaigrette (or make your own)

Combine and enjoy.


Ooh, simple and nice. I'll try this.
 
2012-12-20 04:10:41 PM

Shostie: Hey twoody,

What do you think would be an appropriate punishment for a cat that won't eat all of her green bean casserole you're a bad kitty Mr. Whiskers bad bad bad but so cuddly yes you are yes you are so cute and cuddly I just want to squeeze you and pet you and oh my God you gave me kitty kisses with your nose how sweet yes you are so sweet!

Thanks,

Shostie


I'd try to feed it veal.  If that doesn't work, feed it TO the veal.
 
2012-12-20 04:11:01 PM

twoody: moogrum: Last I heard you were auditioning for Top Chef.

I did, and didn't make the cut.  I like to think it's because I was too handsome, too married... or too good in the kitchen.


Or too humble.
 
2012-12-20 04:11:42 PM

namegoeshere: Ooh, simple and nice. I'll try this.


I forgot to add - toss the squash in a little oil, it will keep it from getting leathery in the oven.
 
2012-12-20 04:12:38 PM

mryoop789: Or too humble.


Not me... at all.
 
2012-12-20 04:12:48 PM
Do you know Alton Brown?


In my house we usually make ham. I think this year, I think we are going all seafoody. My wife and I generally share in the cooking. I make things like lobster (steamed in beer), crab legs (steamed in wine and garlic). No one makes a better salmon on the grill. My wife is particularly good with clams and shrimp.

Here is how I like to do the salmon - this comes out so good that I never order salmon out anymore. Mine's better.

Marinate the filet with some olive oil, salt and pepper, and let it sit for a while.
Get the grill piping hot. Throw the filet on skin side up. Let it sit for about 5 minutes, just enough to get that good salty glaze going. Then flip it over on to a piece of tin foil. Close the grill and don't open it again for like 15-20 (depending on the size).

When the fish done, you can scrape it right off the skin.

It comes of nice and flaky.

Ta da!!
 
2012-12-20 04:12:52 PM

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros: I'm having Turkey Siciliano. It's served face down in a shallow gravy.


Haha
 
2012-12-20 04:12:56 PM
Christmas for us is usually roast pork tenderloin (my cousin, god bless her warped little mind, doesn't like turkey).  
 
I thought Ham was an Easter thing anyway?
 
2012-12-20 04:12:56 PM
My brother sent me a Harry and Davids honey baked ham and smoked turkey. So, that's whats for dinner on Christmas.
 
2012-12-20 04:13:02 PM

Shostie: I really don't care what happens this season as long as hipster beardstache guy goes home. We cannot reward his beardstache.


I hate that stupid mustache.
 
2012-12-20 04:13:15 PM

twoody: namegoeshere: Ooh, simple and nice. I'll try this.

I forgot to add - toss the squash in a little oil, it will keep it from getting leathery in the oven.


'kay. Tks. What temp? How long?
 
2012-12-20 04:13:25 PM
Dear twoody,
You look a little bit like a young version of the host from America's test Kitchen.  Are you his and Julia Child's love-child?
 
2012-12-20 04:13:49 PM

durbnpoisn: Do you know Alton Brown?


Never met him.  But I absolutely respect his work.
 
2012-12-20 04:14:20 PM

R.A.Danny: Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas


How does the roast stay on the pan when upside down?
 
2012-12-20 04:14:54 PM
My sister used to host a 12th night party where we would have goose (and of course yorkshire pudding) every year but she passed away in July. Got a good yorkie recipe for goosefat drippings?
 
2012-12-20 04:14:55 PM
twoody, my family tradition is ham, keilbasa, and a bunch of boring sides.  My mom hosts every year.  How do I get her to gradually switch it up a little bit?  My family are picky eaters.
 
2012-12-20 04:15:01 PM

namegoeshere: 'kay. Tks. What temp? How long?


375.  Time will depend on how thick you cube your squash.  3/4" cubes take about 30-40 minutes.
 
2012-12-20 04:15:36 PM

flucto: R.A.Danny: Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas

How does the roast stay on the pan when upside down?


Yeah, I saved it right side up then it uploaded upside down and awfarkit I just posted.
 
2012-12-20 04:15:37 PM

twoody: namegoeshere: 'kay. Tks. What temp? How long?

375.  Time will depend on how thick you cube your squash.  3/4" cubes take about 30-40 minutes.


Tks.
 
2012-12-20 04:15:37 PM

moogrum: You look a little bit like a young version of the host from America's test Kitchen. Are you his and Julia Child's love-child?


Oh crap, my secret is now officially out.
 
Now I gotta put on a bowtie, and start talking with a high pitch falsetto.
 
2012-12-20 04:16:13 PM

moogrum: Dear twoody,
You look a little bit like a young version of the host from America's test Kitchen.  Are you his and Julia Child's love-child?


Actually.
i2.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-20 04:16:19 PM
My family is poor this year, so... Turkey we bought before thanksgiving for cheap $4.68 for a 12 pound bird. Bag of potatoes for mashed potatoes: 5 pound bag for 79 cents. Canned cranberry sauce came free with the turkey. Stove top stuffing: came free with the turkey. Green bean casserole: $2.94 Home maid turkey gravy: too cheap to count. Brown and serve rolls: $1.67.

Total cost to feed 6: $10.08 or $1.68 a person. With leftovers that will probably be enough for two additional meals.

I'm sure some of you food snobs will turn your nose up at our menu, but workman's comp disability doesn't pay shiat, and my wife can't get anything other than part time, so we do what we have to in order to get by. Thank god we have a freezer that we can store stuff in when we can get it cheap.

Hey good news! the bill for property taxes just came! Slightly more than $3,000 for my 1400 square foot, 1960's ranch that's appraised at $140,000. HA! We'd be lucky to get $120,000 for it.

/sorry for getting off topic
//property tax bill came in today's mail
///but I'm not pissed off and bitter!
 
2012-12-20 04:16:37 PM

twoody: durbnpoisn: Do you know Alton Brown?

Never met him.  But I absolutely respect his work.


It may have sounded like I was poking fun or something, but since you mentioned the science thing I didn't think it was too far off.

He is awesome. And I've learned a lot watching him.
 
2012-12-20 04:17:15 PM

moogrum: twoody, my family tradition is ham, keilbasa, and a bunch of boring sides. My mom hosts every year. How do I get her to gradually switch it up a little bit? My family are picky eaters.


I have two rules about holiday food:
1 - DO NOT MESS WITH FAMILY HOLIDAY FOOD TRADITIONS.  This is not the time to break out the dish you saw in Saveur... people will only complain that it's not the same way that Aunt Beth made it.
 
2 - If you do make a change... make it gradually, and only one dish at a time.
 
2012-12-20 04:17:20 PM
For Christmas we have to deal with:
Wife (vegetarian)
BiL (allergic to dairy and nuts)*
MiL (Diverticulitis and Celiac)**
Sister (vegan)
Mother (doesn't like cheese or fish)
Brother (doesn't like anything without meat in it)
Me (eats just about every damn thing that humans anywhere are willing to eat)***
3 year old daughter (eats everything as long as they're not touching)

* Not just intolerant, actually allergic. You can see the blisters form on his lips.
** Not clinically diagnosed but if she eats that stuff she spends the next three days on the crapper.
*** Yes. You can find some things I won't eat but you have to try really hard.

So we end up essentially cooking multiple Christmas dinners. This year:
chestnut soup
duck confit
pork roast
vegan cassoulet
roasted sweet potatoes
beet salad
green beans
cranberry sauce
sauerkraut
vegan ganach with raspberry sauce

the rest of the weekend includes:
vegetarian chili
coq au vin
gulasch (the leftover duck from the confit makes a great base)
chana masala
bread

Lot's of alcohol

We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

Holidays are an orgy of drunken feasting.
 
2012-12-20 04:17:35 PM

ferretman: Want to make but don't have a deep fryer:

[randomcravings.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]


Oooh what is that? I have a deep frier. I'll make some and fax it to you.
 
2012-12-20 04:17:41 PM

Gneisskate: Sapper_Topo: I want to glaze a ham with something other than brown sugar or honey any of you have success with something a little more say... Exotic? Also I have a confession I hate Christmas! But seriously ham glaze GO!

Molasses? Maple syrup? Pineapple juice? Mustard + butter? So many options...


Google Alton Brown's Gingersnap and Bourbon ham glaze. Oh dear Lard....
 
/contains brown sugar
//and BOURBON
///did I mention the BOURBON?
 
2012-12-20 04:18:08 PM

R.A.Danny: Yeah, I saved it right side up then it uploaded upside down and awfarkit I just posted.


I am currently suffering a major sugar rush from porking down a bunch of Enstrom's toffee somebody sent me and I thought I had progressed to the tripping balls state of sugar consumption when I saw your picture.
 
2012-12-20 04:18:33 PM

durbnpoisn: Close the grill and don't open it again for like 15-20


You like your salmon WAY overcooked.
 
2012-12-20 04:18:47 PM
No real question, but I have recently fell in love with Shepard's Pie / Cottage Pie.

As opposed to, say, Taco Bell or Mac and Cheese.

So easy.

1. Brown some ground beef with spices and onions.
2. Mix it with a whole bunch of other random stuff in a baking pan.
3. Mashed Potatoes
4. Cheese

Bake for an hour - Win.
 
2012-12-20 04:18:58 PM
I got huge 2" thick pork chops, pasture raised and all that. What's the best way to cook them. I was thinking about smoking them after a brine.

Any other ideas? Can you braise pork chops?
 
2012-12-20 04:19:01 PM

BigBooper: My family is poor this year, so... Turkey we bought before thanksgiving for cheap $4.68 for a 12 pound bird.


If you can spend $40+ on a turkey for Christmas dinner, you're not poor.
 
2012-12-20 04:19:05 PM

aprentic: We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).


I'd love her recipe.  Homemade fermentations are loads of fun!
 
2012-12-20 04:19:12 PM
Apricot pastry turnovers

Pastry: 2 cups flour, tsp salt, 1.5 sticks unsalted butter, 8 oz. cream cheese.
Cut the butter into pea-sized pieces, and the cream cheese into chunks. Cut the wet into the dry with a pastry cutter until it resembles corn meal with some pea-sized chunks in it. Add cold water 1 tsp at a time until the pastry JUST begins to hold together. Knead until constituted, split in half, flatten into a disk, and refrigerate one hour.

Filling: 8 oz. jar apricot preserves, 1/2 cup chopped walnuts, 2 tsp. sugar. Mix.

Roll out first disk of dough until very thin (@ 1/8 inch), trim square and cut into 8 triangles. Put a tsp. of filling on each one, fold over into a smaller triangle and seal around the edges (wetting the edge helps, but isn't essential. Roll the trimmings to make 2-4 more cookies. Repeat with second disk. Bake at 400 degrees for 12 minutes. Makes 18-20 cookies.

These are not too sweet, and resemble mini-empanadas.
 
2012-12-20 04:19:13 PM
All I know so far is that we are having different soups. My aunt is making gumbo and I think my mom is making either potato or chicken/vegetable noodle. I'm thinking about making chicken tortilla. I've never made it before, but I've been saving different recipes for ideas. I'll mix and match the things I like in a soup (basically, as many veggies and beans as I can cram in there) and hopefully it'll be yummy.

Anyone got a good recipe for chicken tortilla soup that they've made?
 
2012-12-20 04:19:35 PM

moogrum: twoody: Did you use a casing stuffer?
/also, my nickname is casing stuffer...

I used my grandmother's one from like the 60s.  Maybe I need a new one, the meat just wouldn't go down the tube easily.

There's no way to discuss this without sounding sexual.


This thread now has a theme song.
 
2012-12-20 04:19:41 PM

aprentic: coq au vin


Beautiful
 
2012-12-20 04:20:36 PM

big pig peaches: Any other ideas? Can you braise pork chops?


You can braise them in milk *very slowly* for a couple of hours and serve them risotto. Oops, I just drooled on my shirt.
 
2012-12-20 04:20:52 PM

kwame: BigBooper: My family is poor this year, so... Turkey we bought before thanksgiving for cheap $4.68 for a 12 pound bird.

If you can spend $40+ on a turkey for Christmas dinner, you're not poor.


that's $4.68 for the bird, not $4.68 a pound.
 
Sorry things are rough for you, <b>BigBooper</b>.  Hope things improve.
 
2012-12-20 04:21:17 PM
In my family we invert the turkey and fill the cavity with Ro-Tel cheese dip, then you dip the cheese dip out by ripping off parts of the bird.  It's pretty genius.
 
2012-12-20 04:21:26 PM
since my mom is swedish, we usually had a smorgasbord style christmas dinner, of grazing and drinking all christmas eve.  christmas day was not really the holiday.  mostly just for sleeping off real christmas (which is christmas eve).
 
here's a few standards:
 
1)
gravelox (literally, dead fish).
 
ingredients:
salmon fillet
salt
sugar
dill
 
cut salmon fillet in half
(you can skin it.  or not.  doesn't matter too much.  only matters when it comes to how easy you want it to be to carve later)
 
create a mixture of 50/50 salt/sugar
 
apply salt/sugar mix liberally over all sides of the fish
 
lay down a lot of dill in a sealable dish
(don't chop it up, just put the whole dill sprigs in)
 
put one half of salmon in dish.  cover with dill.
 
put other half of salmon on top of first half.  'marrying' the two halves.  cover with dill.
 
seal the dish.  put in fridge.  every 12 hours or so, flip the sides around.  in a couple days or so you'll have perfectly cured salmon.  just take it out of the dish, discard all the water that's in the dish.  clean the fillets as much as you feel like, cut very thin.
 
there's also a sauce to make with vinegar and mustard and dill, but i don't know how i make it.  i just had a mixture of vinegar, mustard, dill, oil and sugar until it tastes good.  only, it takes an hour for it to really taste good, so... enjoy.  there might be other ingredients, but i don't really remember.
 
2)
johansson's temptation (aka, best potatoes on earth)
 
ingredients:
6-8 golden potatoes
heavy cream
salt
butter
anchovies or sprats
garlic
onion
 
slice potatoes 1/8 inch thick, put in cold water
crush a lot of garlic and mash it around the bottom of a baking dish
pat dry the potatoes
 
put down a layer of potatoes
put some little dollops of butter here and there
more layers of potatoes
 
at the halfway point, put in some chopped onions and put in the anchovies or sprats from one little tin.
 
reserve the fish juices.
 
keep layering potatoes and little spots of butter.
 
at the end, pour in cream and fish juice to fill dish about halfway.  put bread crumbs on top
 
stick in oven at 400 for like 40-60 minutes.  halfway, check to see if you should add more cream.
 
2012-12-20 04:21:53 PM

BigBooper: My family is poor this year, so... Turkey we bought before thanksgiving for cheap $4.68 for a 12 pound bird. Bag of potatoes for mashed potatoes: 5 pound bag for 79 cents. Canned cranberry sauce came free with the turkey. Stove top stuffing: came free with the turkey. Green bean casserole: $2.94 Home maid turkey gravy: too cheap to count. Brown and serve rolls: $1.67.

Total cost to feed 6: $10.08 or $1.68 a person. With leftovers that will probably be enough for two additional meals.

I'm sure some of you food snobs will turn your nose up at our menu, but workman's comp disability doesn't pay shiat, and my wife can't get anything other than part time, so we do what we have to in order to get by. Thank god we have a freezer that we can store stuff in when we can get it cheap.

Hey good news! the bill for property taxes just came! Slightly more than $3,000 for my 1400 square foot, 1960's ranch that's appraised at $140,000. HA! We'd be lucky to get $120,000 for it.

/sorry for getting off topic
//property tax bill came in today's mail
///but I'm not pissed off and bitter!


Don't feel bad for being a tightwad*. I went out on Black Friday not to the malls but to the grocery store. I bought my turkey, ham, and everything I could buy in advance, since my Christmas dinner is similar to a Thanksgiving dinner. Everything was on post-thanksgiving clearance. It was great.

PS call yourself frugal, not cheap. Sounds intentional, like a lifestyle choice. Not just being broke.

*There is another appropriate word but Fark won't let me say it EVEN THOUGH IT'S A REAL WORD AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT RACIST DAMMIT
 
2012-12-20 04:22:26 PM

Sapper_Topo: durbnpoisn: Close the grill and don't open it again for like 15-20

You like your salmon WAY overcooked.


I think I forgot to mention to turn the heat down. It actually comes out somewhat raw in the middle.
I know what you mean. I don't like it cooked to dry death.
 
2012-12-20 04:23:13 PM

kwame: If you can spend $40+ on a turkey for Christmas dinner, you're not poor.

 
img src="KwameIsAnA-Hole.jpg"
 
:P
 
2012-12-20 04:23:26 PM
Venison tenderloin w/ blueberry sauce, polenta w/ shiatake mushrooms and sauteed Brussels sprouts w/ hazelnuts. And a 2005 Esprit de Beaucastel from Tablas Creek
yearofthemouse.com
 
2012-12-20 04:23:42 PM

DesertZephyr: Gneisskate: Sapper_Topo: I want to glaze a ham with something other than brown sugar or honey any of you have success with something a little more say... Exotic? Also I have a confession I hate Christmas! But seriously ham glaze GO!

Molasses? Maple syrup? Pineapple juice? Mustard + butter? So many options...

Google Alton Brown's Gingersnap and Bourbon ham glaze. Oh dear Lard....
 
/contains brown sugar
//and BOURBON
///did I mention the BOURBON?


Usually I chime in pretty good in food threads. But I am not so much of a Chirstmas dinner guy. I guess what I am trying to say here is... Thank  you! TThat sounds perfect.
 
2012-12-20 04:23:48 PM

eraser8: ChadM89: There are a few of us current and former professional chefs on fark.

And, to think, I had you farkied as a mere foodie.  Looks like it's time to upgrade you to "professional chef."


Hell I'm just flattered you've got me farkied at all. "Foodie" is probably most accurate at present, as I made a career change in 2000. But yes, until then, I was a chef. Now I spend my days designing premanufactured structural components used in construction, but I still cook at home a lot, especially for family and friends around the holidays. I don't have as much time to fark as I used to, but I still lurk most days and drop into food threads when I see them. Cheers!
 
2012-12-20 04:23:55 PM
I like to eat the skin. Of everything.
 
2012-12-20 04:23:56 PM
Don't know if all know this trick, I submitted this video and the Fark Nazis didn't pick it for the video page.

So I figure why not post in in a food thread!!?


easy way to separate the yolk from egg whites. Never, ever, seen it done this way.
 
2012-12-20 04:24:13 PM
We like to make Christmas a little fancy and exotic. That's why I always make my famous Spamshi...
www.guavarose.com
 
2012-12-20 04:24:18 PM

namegoeshere: *There is another appropriate word but Fark won't let me say it EVEN THOUGH IT'S A REAL WORD AND NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT RACIST DAMMIT


The "Old Norse" filter strikes again.
 
2012-12-20 04:24:34 PM
What Farkers are saying they will have:
static.guim.co.uk

What they're REALLY gonna have:
www.x-entertainment.com
 
2012-12-20 04:24:54 PM
www.sixthseal.com

Two har gao, two shu mai, two fengszhao, tripe with pumpkin, sticky rice, two plates of pork bao, two ham sui gao. I think that's good for now but we'll get more if we're still hungry.

/jewish
/nothing to really add to this thread
 
2012-12-20 04:25:31 PM

vegasj: easy way to separate the yolk from egg whites. Never, ever, seen it done this way.


It doesn't work all that well in real life.
 
2012-12-20 04:26:48 PM
Tom,
 
Once had a lovely winter salad of navel orange segments with julienned fennel bulb over torn romaine with a vinegarette made with balsamic vinegar, orange juice and olive oil... maybe some capers...
 
I dunno the proportions of acid to oil for a vinegarette... how would YOU suggest assembly??
 
2012-12-20 04:26:55 PM
A strange Aussie dish that my grandmother used to make for Christmas ( since it was often too hot to cook )
Thin slices of orange and thin slices of onion layered in a shallow dish sprinkled with vinegar
The combination is really nice especially if you use purple onions. 
 
Other than that, ROASTS!!!!
 
2012-12-20 04:28:41 PM
Tom, which would you recommend for baking a souffle? Microwave or toaster oven?
 
2012-12-20 04:29:05 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-20 04:30:02 PM

twoody: Purelilac: post a link to your youtube?

Most of them have been pulled down, but I still keep a few over at my website:  www.cookwithtom.com


Gah! I wish I knew about this the other day! I just made caramel for the first time since a I was a wee Glavin and it came out blonde.

O well.
 
2012-12-20 04:30:15 PM

Bill_Wick's_Friend: [www.sixthseal.com image 500x375]

Two har gao, two shu mai, two fengszhao, tripe with pumpkin, sticky rice, two plates of pork bao, two ham sui gao. I think that's good for now but we'll get more if we're still hungry.

/jewish
/nothing to really add to this thread


Fa ra ra ra ra...
 
2012-12-20 04:31:01 PM

shakenasababy: ferretman: Want to make but don't have a deep fryer:

[randomcravings.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]

Oooh what is that? I have a deep frier. I'll make some and fax it to you.


Spedini alla romana
 
2012-12-20 04:31:29 PM

kwame: BigBooper: My family is poor this year, so... Turkey we bought before thanksgiving for cheap $4.68 for a 12 pound bird.

If you can spend $40+ on a turkey for Christmas dinner, you're not poor.


No. The entire Turkey was $4.68. We got the thing for 39 cents a pound. And then got a bunch of stuff free with it. We had to argue with a store manager to use all the coupons together, but the store coupons said they could be used together, and the manufacturers coupon didn't have any restrictions on it. So he didn't argue long. He probably didn't want other shoppers hearing what we were doing.
 
2012-12-20 04:31:45 PM

shakenasababy: ferretman: Want to make but don't have a deep fryer:

[randomcravings.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]

Oooh what is that? I have a deep frier. I'll make some and fax it to you.


correct spelling: spiedini alla romana
 
2012-12-20 04:32:09 PM

DesertZephyr: I dunno the proportions of acid to oil for a vinegarette... how would YOU suggest assembly?


Cooking school says 3 part oil to 1 part acid, but geometry doesn't support such a high level of oil, math says you shouldn't be able to emulsify more than 2 parts oil with 1 part acid without your vinaigrette breaking.
 
I personally like to do a 1 to 1 ratio as its lower in calories, and still tastes great.  Just be sure to add your oil to your acid SLOWLY while whisking.  The smaller you can make the droplets of oil in your dressing, the more your tastebuds will taste them, even though you've got less oil than other recipes typically call for.  More info:  http://www.cookwithtom.com/?p=446
 
2012-12-20 04:32:46 PM

BigBooper: No. The entire Turkey was $4.68. We got the thing for 39 cents a pound. And then got a bunch of stuff free with it. We had to argue with a store manager to use all the coupons together, but the store coupons said they could be used together, and the manufacturers coupon didn't have any restrictions on it. So he didn't argue long. He probably didn't want other shoppers hearing what we were doing.


Well, I'm an asshole.  Great find, and best of luck to you in the coming year.  Hope everything gets better for you.
 
2012-12-20 04:33:05 PM

mryoop789: Tom, which would you recommend for baking a souffle? Microwave or toaster oven?


Both work.
 
A nuker will give you a denser/chewier souffle, but a toaster oven gives pretty good results.
 
When all else fails, use an Easy Bake.
 
2012-12-20 04:33:31 PM
Tom,
 
Please help settle an argument. Which is better on steak: ketchup or miracle whip?
 
2012-12-20 04:33:43 PM

Sapper_Topo: I want to glaze a ham with something other than brown sugar or honey any of you have success with something a little more say... Exotic? Also I have a confession I hate Christmas! But seriously ham glaze GO!


A-1 Sauce. Seriously. Read the ingredients.
 
2012-12-20 04:36:39 PM

mryoop789: Tom,
 
Please help settle an argument. Which is better on steak: ketchup or miracle whip?

 
Ketchup works well if you're a Godless heathen that probably hasn't showered in 6 months, beats his/her kids and loves listening to Michael Bolton.
 
Mayonnaise is good on a steak if the steak is actually a hamburger.
 
2012-12-20 04:36:46 PM
Looks like I'll be busting open a frozen dinner (Boston Market, because it's a special occasion) And a big can of Camo Black Xtra 12.2%, plus whatever's on the plate the neighbor might or might not bring.
 
2012-12-20 04:37:29 PM
Tommy,
I would like to feed my family something a little special and exotic this year. I'm in charge of the salad, and I'm trying to decide between maple leaves and oak leaves. Thoughts?
 
2012-12-20 04:37:42 PM
www.vegastripping.com

Since everyone is over 21 we've done 24 hours in Vegas for Christmas. Fly in on one redeye and back on another, sleep on the plane. Don't even have to find someone to check on the cats.
 
2012-12-20 04:38:24 PM
For as long as I can remember, Christmas dinner in my house was and still is Prime Rib and Lobster Tails. It's about the only tradition still alive in my family, the few that are left.
 
2012-12-20 04:38:38 PM

twoody: aprentic: We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

I'd love her recipe.  Homemade fermentations are loads of fun!


Citrate1007: aprentic: coq au vin

Beautiful


It taste great. Plus you get to say coq in polite company with a straight face.
 
2012-12-20 04:38:38 PM

mryoop789: Tommy,
I would like to feed my family something a little special and exotic this year. I'm in charge of the salad, and I'm trying to decide between maple leaves and oak leaves. Thoughts?


You make joke, but I recently tried a Jerusalem artichoke smoked in oak leaves that was insanely decadent.
 
2012-12-20 04:39:14 PM

twoody: mryoop789: Tommy,
I would like to feed my family something a little special and exotic this year. I'm in charge of the salad, and I'm trying to decide between maple leaves and oak leaves. Thoughts?

You make joke, but I recently tried a Jerusalem artichoke smoked in oak leaves that was insanely decadent.


Sigh.
 
Okay. I'll get you with the next one. Hmmm.
 
2012-12-20 04:40:50 PM
My aunt has pica and always requests special dishes. Do you think felt would taste better marinated in something sweet, or something savory? Also, would you pair it with Windex or dish soap?
 
2012-12-20 04:43:04 PM

mryoop789: My aunt has pica and always requests special dishes. Do you think felt would taste better marinated in something sweet, or something savory? Also, would you pair it with Windex or dish soap?


At least challenge us, A sawdust and crushed wallboard rub is the obvious choice. 

 
2012-12-20 04:43:12 PM

mryoop789: My aunt has pica and always requests special dishes


Special dishes that are made out of dirt?
 
2012-12-20 04:44:12 PM
I really do love it she Yoop had nothing going on and she can muck up threads.

/I'm easily entertained
 
2012-12-20 04:44:15 PM

R.A.Danny: mryoop789: My aunt has pica and always requests special dishes. Do you think felt would taste better marinated in something sweet, or something savory? Also, would you pair it with Windex or dish soap?

At least challenge us, A sawdust and crushed wallboard rub is the obvious choice.


Seriously mryoop789, I expected better from you.
 
/Disgusted teacher stare.
 
2012-12-20 04:46:51 PM
FINE.
 
This year I'm making my specialty: Beanie Weenie and Mac & Cheese casserole. This year, instead of crushing potato chips and putting shredded cheese on top, I thought I'd fancy it up. Ideas?
 
2012-12-20 04:48:14 PM

mryoop789: FINE.
 
This year I'm making my specialty: Beanie Weenie and Mac & Cheese casserole. This year, instead of crushing potato chips and putting shredded cheese on top, I thought I'd fancy it up. Ideas?


I'm not sure something like that COULD be improved upon...
 
But if I WERE to offer an opinion, I'd replace the potato chips with corn chips and call it southwestern style.
 
2012-12-20 04:48:25 PM
Oh, twoody, I have a question: the Spinach Frittata I want to make says I should start it on the stove, then finish it in the oven -- using the same pan. The problem I'm having is that I don't have a pan that will allow me to do this (they all have plastic/meltable handles). Any suggestions?

I look forward to your answer, and thank you in advance.
 
2012-12-20 04:48:32 PM

namegoeshere: I have a box of butternut squash. I would like to serve some at Christmas dinner. How can I fancy it up?


Here's a thing Mrsnuisance made up a few weeks ago when she had a gigantic butternut laying around:

Peel and cube the squash, and roast it: olive oil, garlic, onions, shallots, rosemary springs, a couple bay leaves, salt and pepper. When it's all caramelized and yummy, remove from heat and let cool. Remove rosemary and bay. Place roasted goodness into blender, add veggie stock, a few dollops of yogurt, a splash or two of milk. Basically you to adjust the liquids to your taste and to reach a smooth, not very runny puree.

Cook a pasta of your choice. Drain, reserving a few cups of pasta water. Pour pasta and puree into warmed serving vessel, adding pasta water a cup at a time and stirring til preferred consistency is achieved and pasta is well-coated. Serve with a strong hard cheese for grating, avoiding rennet, (if you're trying for a true veggie dish).

Super easy, and OmNomNom.
 
2012-12-20 04:48:38 PM

mryoop789: FINE.

This year I'm making my specialty: Beanie Weenie and Mac & Cheese casserole. This year, instead of crushing potato chips and putting shredded cheese on top, I thought I'd fancy it up. Ideas?


French's Fried Onions. Because nothing says classy holiday meal more than crackin' open a can o' them.
 
2012-12-20 04:48:47 PM

mryoop789: FINE.
 
This year I'm making my specialty: Beanie Weenie and Mac & Cheese casserole. This year, instead of crushing potato chips and putting shredded cheese on top, I thought I'd fancy it up. Ideas?


The answer is always panko. Plus Ms. Picalips can pretend it's more sawdust and eat at the grownup table instead of the crawlspace.
 
2012-12-20 04:49:13 PM
Made this turducken a few years ago. Going to do it again this year.

i106.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-20 04:49:15 PM
I have to cook a 20 lb turkey to bring to my Mom's, she's making the prime rib. I like the stuffed prime rib recipe link, it looks fab.
 
2012-12-20 04:49:16 PM

pute kisses like a man: gravelox (literally, dead fish).


Sorry, but gravad lax literally means buried salmon. Before fridges were invented, the scandinavians used to bury the fish with salt, dill and sugar in the cool soil until it was dried and lightly fermented. Todays commercial produced gravelox: Meh.

/Not swedish...
//Not a chef...
///...but i farkin' love everything fishy
 
2012-12-20 04:49:46 PM

GreatGlavinsGhost: Oh, twoody, I have a question: the Spinach Frittata I want to make says I should start it on the stove, then finish it in the oven -- using the same pan. The problem I'm having is that I don't have a pan that will allow me to do this (they all have plastic/meltable handles). Any suggestions?

I look forward to your answer, and thank you in advance.


Keep a cast iron something around for these times.

I cook on cast iron almost exclusively, but that's just me.
 
2012-12-20 04:49:50 PM

soosh: Sorry things are rough for you, <b>BigBooper</b>. Hope things improve.


Thank you. It's been a rough farking year. Started off with my infant daughter being seriously ill. Because of that, my wife left her job to care for her. Then this summer, I hurt my self at work, and end up in the hospital for a month with a spinal cord injury. First surgery got farked up, and I ended up partially paralyzed. The good news is that my daughter is fully recovered, and the second surgery was a success, and I'm starting to be able to walk again. The doctors expect that I'll eventually make a full recovery. It's going to suck for the next 12-18 months of P.T. torture, but in the end it will be worth it.
 
2012-12-20 04:50:25 PM

ferretman: shakenasababy: ferretman: Want to make but don't have a deep fryer:

[randomcravings.files.wordpress.com image 850x637]

Oooh what is that? I have a deep frier. I'll make some and fax it to you.

correct spelling: spiedini alla romana


That looks amaaazing. But how do you keep the cheese from melting out? This could get messy in a deep frier. The anchovy caper sauce is making my mouth water.
 
2012-12-20 04:50:28 PM

Deucednuisance: namegoeshere: I have a box of butternut squash. I would like to serve some at Christmas dinner. How can I fancy it up?

Here's a thing Mrsnuisance made up a few weeks ago when she had a gigantic butternut laying around:

Peel and cube the squash, and roast it: olive oil, garlic, onions, shallots, rosemary springs, a couple bay leaves, salt and pepper. When it's all caramelized and yummy, remove from heat and let cool. Remove rosemary and bay. Place roasted goodness into blender, add veggie stock, a few dollops of yogurt, a splash or two of milk. Basically you to adjust the liquids to your taste and to reach a smooth, not very runny puree.

Cook a pasta of your choice. Drain, reserving a few cups of pasta water. Pour pasta and puree into warmed serving vessel, adding pasta water a cup at a time and stirring til preferred consistency is achieved and pasta is well-coated. Serve with a strong hard cheese for grating, avoiding rennet, (if you're trying for a true veggie dish).

Super easy, and OmNomNom.


Ooh, that sounds good.
 
2012-12-20 04:50:48 PM

Shostie: Hi, twoody,
 
I was just wondering how long it would take to cook a person, like, say, kwame.
 
You see, it's all part of this elaborate revenge fantasy. I plan to present the cooked kwame to my husband and say, "try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy, and you know where it's been," as a sort of epic denouement and an homage to a cult movie that no one's seen but me.
 
Thanks,
 
Shostie


I hope your husband likes dark meat.
 
2012-12-20 04:51:03 PM
Okay, okay. I'll stop disrupting your thread (finally).
 
And if I have legitimate questions, I know where to go. I've never tried a recipe of yours that didn't rock.
 
2012-12-20 04:51:23 PM
Don't forget the Jell-o salad!
 
dubsism.files.wordpress.com
 
delicious-cooks.com
 
www.bourbonandboots.com
 
2012-12-20 04:51:27 PM

GreatGlavinsGhost: Oh, twoody, I have a question: the Spinach Frittata I want to make says I should start it on the stove, then finish it in the oven -- using the same pan. The problem I'm having is that I don't have a pan that will allow me to do this (they all have plastic/meltable handles). Any suggestions?

I look forward to your answer, and thank you in advance.


The purpose of putting the frittata in the oven is to get the cheese all melty.  If I didn't have a pan capable of doing that, I'd TRY to flip the frittata in the pan, and melt/brown the cheese upside down.  An easy way to do this is to transfer the near cooked frittata to a plate, put the hot pan over the top of the frittata, and then invert the plate/pan.  Then when it's time to serve, put the lid on top of the pan, and flip the frittata back over.
 
I should warn you, this only works in a nonstick pan.
 
2012-12-20 04:51:52 PM

shakenasababy: Hello twoody!

I have a question. I bought a deep frier for Friendsgiving and served up some great fried turkey. I thought I'd treat my parents this Christmas to a fried turkey, but maybe you have other suggestions for what I can deep fry?


Fritters. Before you fry the bird.
 
2012-12-20 04:51:59 PM
This morning at the shelter some people gave out $5 certificates for McD's.
So I got that going for me.
 
2012-12-20 04:52:36 PM

mryoop789: Okay, okay. I'll stop disrupting your thread (finally).
 
And if I have legitimate questions, I know where to go. I've never tried a recipe of yours that didn't rock.


Awww, you were the second best part
 
2012-12-20 04:53:10 PM

bim1154: Made this turducken a few years ago. Going to do it again this year.


Nice work!  Do you debone your own birds?
 
2012-12-20 04:53:19 PM
Hey twoody:
I recently saw you on Huffington Post with Giada De Laguardia. How did you actually focus your words on food and not on boobs?
Cuz. Ya know.
BOOBS.
Love, Ras
 
2012-12-20 04:53:20 PM

NickelP: I recently acquired an induction cooker and want to try to do a poor mans sous vide on it. I have a vacume sealer. Any tips/trips/easy recipes that would work decently with that setup?


My friend has a poor man's sous vide.  He made corned beef, and it was the best. thing. ever.
 
I don't have experience or a recipie, sorry.  Just wanted to throw the idea out there.
 
/And I generally don't like corned beef.
 
2012-12-20 04:53:20 PM

Eutamias21: namegoeshere: I have a box of butternut squash. I would like to serve some at Christmas dinner. How can I fancy it up? Without little marshmallows. Because no.

My mom makes this and it's one of my favorite things on the planet:

Squash Souffle

1 10 oz pkg frozen squash
1 stick butter
½ cup sugar (this is on the sweet side, so reduce according to taste)
½ cup flour
2 cups milk (I use 1 milk and 1 cream)
3 eggs (beaten and added one at a time)

I recommend buying a soufflé dish if you don't have one.  It is a flat bottomed, circular shaped 'pan' with high sides.  Grease the sides with dab of butter and then flour very lightly.
Cook the squash with butter on low heat.  Remove from the stove.  Add ½ cup sugar and ½ cup flour.  Add 3 eggs, one at a time.  Add the milk and cream, stirring, then cinnamon
and a dash of nutmeg.  Bake at 350 for 1 to 1½ hours.


This sounds very yummy, too. It's a big box - I've got squeesh enough to try lots of new things. Yeay!
 
2012-12-20 04:54:04 PM
Not entirely sure what all our Christmas dinner menu's going to be, but I know it will include a plethora of homemade raviolis (thanks to an Italian mother-in-law) and my favorite Christmas dessert, pink peppermint pie.
 
2012-12-20 04:54:18 PM

Ras-Algethi: Hey twoody:
I recently saw you on Huffington Post with Giada De Laguardia. How did you actually focus your words on food and not on boobs?
Cuz. Ya know.
BOOBS.
Love, Ras


It wasn't easy.
 
P.S.  I think Giada and I might still be in a Twitter fight, but I'm not sure.
 
2012-12-20 04:54:28 PM
I want to make lemon curd and give it out as gifts with a recipe for something to use it in.

A. I've planned to use Alton Brown's recipe since it was the first one in a search and I'm too lazy to research to find out which recipe is actually the best. Good idea?

B. Do you have a recipe to suggest I give with the lemon curd?
 
2012-12-20 04:55:02 PM

mryoop789: Okay, okay. I'll stop disrupting your thread (finally).

And if I have legitimate questions, I know where to go. I've never tried a recipe of yours that didn't rock.


Love you Yoopie!!! 
 
/we go WAAAYYYYYY back.
 
2012-12-20 04:55:07 PM

twoody: aprentic: We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

I'd love her recipe.  Homemade fermentations are loads of fun!


Keep everything really really clean. I'm pretty sure I was too cavalier about that with my rotten cabbage recipe.

Wash cabbage and take off the nasty outer leaves.
Cut out the stem and chop the rest of it into thin slivers (they looked like they were about 1 or 2 mm across).
Put them in a clean container.
Add about 1 tbl of salt per lb of cabbage (this is from memory I'll check with Ms. aprentic and update if I'm wrong).
It has to be sea salt or some other salt with nothing added or it can inhibit the fermentation process.
Mix it up and squish the whole thing down (with really clean hands).
Cover it and let it sit for a while. In a day or so there should be enough water to cover the cabbage. If not add some brine or vinegar top it off.
Let it sit in a cool place for a while (ready in about a week but it gets better with age).
The cabbage has to be completely submerged in the liquid or it will go bad. Cover it to keep junk out but don't use a tight fitting lid or it will explode (an air lock works if you're using a (clean) beer making bucket)

I'll run this by Ms. aprentic and if anything is wrong I'll post an update.
 
2012-12-20 04:55:13 PM

twoody: GreatGlavinsGhost: Oh, twoody, I have a question: the Spinach Frittata I want to make says I should start it on the stove, then finish it in the oven -- using the same pan. The problem I'm having is that I don't have a pan that will allow me to do this (they all have plastic/meltable handles). Any suggestions?

I look forward to your answer, and thank you in advance.

The purpose of putting the frittata in the oven is to get the cheese all melty.  If I didn't have a pan capable of doing that, I'd TRY to flip the frittata in the pan, and melt/brown the cheese upside down.  An easy way to do this is to transfer the near cooked frittata to a plate, put the hot pan over the top of the frittata, and then invert the plate/pan.  Then when it's time to serve, put the lid on top of the pan, and flip the frittata back over.

I should warn you, this only works in a nonstick pan.


Okay, I'll try that. Thank you.
 
2012-12-20 04:56:12 PM

Occasionally rational: I want to make lemon curd and give it out as gifts with a recipe for something to use it in.

A. I've planned to use Alton Brown's recipe since it was the first one in a search and I'm too lazy to research to find out which recipe is actually the best. Good idea?

B. Do you have a recipe to suggest I give with the lemon curd?


It's pretty simple to make, and A.B.'s recipe is pretty solid.  Just be sure to add your hot liquid to your eggs, and NOT your eggs to your hot liquid.  One way makes a great curd, the other way makes lemon egg drop soup.
 
2012-12-20 04:56:40 PM

zenobia: Sapper_Topo: I want to glaze a ham with something other than brown sugar or honey any of you have success with something a little more say... Exotic? Also I have a confession I hate Christmas! But seriously ham glaze GO!

A-1 Sauce. Seriously. Read the ingredients.


That. Might. Actually. Work!
 
2012-12-20 04:57:38 PM

aprentic: twoody: aprentic: We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

I'd love her recipe.  Homemade fermentations are loads of fun!

Keep everything really really clean. I'm pretty sure I was too cavalier about that with my rotten cabbage recipe.

Wash cabbage and take off the nasty outer leaves.
Cut out the stem and chop the rest of it into thin slivers (they looked like they were about 1 or 2 mm across).
Put them in a clean container.
Add about 1 tbl of salt per lb of cabbage (this is from memory I'll check with Ms. aprentic and update if I'm wrong).
It has to be sea salt or some other salt with nothing added or it can inhibit the fermentation process.
Mix it up and squish the whole thing down (with really clean hands).
Cover it and let it sit for a while. In a day or so there should be enough water to cover the cabbage. If not add some brine or vinegar top it off.
Let it sit in a cool place for a while (ready in about a week but it gets better with age).
The cabbage has to be completely submerged in the liquid or it will go bad. Cover it to keep junk out but don't use a tight fitting lid or it will explode (an air lock works if you're using a (clean) beer making bucket)

I'll run this by Ms. aprentic and if anything is wrong I'll post an update.


Does she have a spot she likes to store it?  What temperature does it typically ferment at?
 
2012-12-20 04:58:10 PM
Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?
 
2012-12-20 04:59:21 PM

buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?


Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?
 
2012-12-20 04:59:29 PM
Xmas dinner is whatever my best friend serves up at her xmas party every year. It's a thanksgiving type dinner with turkey, mashed potatoes, etc. But since she never has enough chairs, I usually use my (well trained) dog as a table.

img156.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-20 05:00:22 PM

twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?


They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.
 
2012-12-20 05:01:20 PM

buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.


Gotcha... so like a bread fritter stuffed with whole corn kernals?  Hmm... not something I'm familiar with, sorry..
 
2012-12-20 05:01:37 PM
investorplace.com

You are jealous, aren't you?

/neither am I
 
2012-12-20 05:02:54 PM

buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.


But if I WERE to make it, I'd find a good fry bread recipe, roll the dough out into small circles about 1/4" thick, stuff the circles with corn, and perhaps some lime and chili, then fold the dough over the corn and fry in 350 degree oil until brown.
 
2012-12-20 05:02:58 PM

twoody: buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.

Gotcha... so like a bread fritter stuffed with whole corn kernals?  Hmm... not something I'm familiar with, sorry..


Not stuffed, exactly. The corn was mixed into the batter, dropped by spoonfuls into the fryer.
 
2012-12-20 05:04:51 PM

buckler: twoody: buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.

Gotcha... so like a bread fritter stuffed with whole corn kernals?  Hmm... not something I'm familiar with, sorry..

Not stuffed, exactly. The corn was mixed into the batter, dropped by spoonfuls into the fryer.

Something like this: 
http://www.cooks.com/rec/doc/0,184,149182-254205,00.html
 
2012-12-20 05:05:51 PM

twoody: aprentic: twoody: aprentic: We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

I'd love her recipe.  Homemade fermentations are loads of fun!

Keep everything really really clean. I'm pretty sure I was too cavalier about that with my rotten cabbage recipe.

Wash cabbage and take off the nasty outer leaves.
Cut out the stem and chop the rest of it into thin slivers (they looked like they were about 1 or 2 mm across).
Put them in a clean container.
Add about 1 tbl of salt per lb of cabbage (this is from memory I'll check with Ms. aprentic and update if I'm wrong).
It has to be sea salt or some other salt with nothing added or it can inhibit the fermentation process.
Mix it up and squish the whole thing down (with really clean hands).
Cover it and let it sit for a while. In a day or so there should be enough water to cover the cabbage. If not add some brine or vinegar top it off.
Let it sit in a cool place for a while (ready in about a week but it gets better with age).
The cabbage has to be completely submerged in the liquid or it will go bad. Cover it to keep junk out but don't use a tight fitting lid or it will explode (an air lock works if you're using a (clean) beer making bucket)

I'll run this by Ms. aprentic and if anything is wrong I'll post an update.

Does she have a spot she likes to store it?  What temperature does it typically ferment at?


She's been storing them in the wine fridge. I don't know the exact temperature in there but it's somewhere in the range of normal white-red wine temperatures.
 
2012-12-20 05:06:12 PM

twoody: buckler: twoody: buckler: twoody: buckler: Actually, Twoody, I do have a question: My mom used to make these fantastic yeasty corn fritters that were to die for. They never made it to the table, as we'd eat them as fast as they came out of the fryer. My ex-SIL has the recipe, and refuses to hand over the recipe card to my brother out of spite. Mine never seem to come out right. Got a good recipe?

Tell me about the fritters.  What was their texture like?  Were they more bready or hush-puppie in their consistency?

They were bready, puffy, crispy outside and full of sweet corn, and with a distinctively yeasty flavor.

Gotcha... so like a bread fritter stuffed with whole corn kernals?  Hmm... not something I'm familiar with, sorry..

Not stuffed, exactly. The corn was mixed into the batter, dropped by spoonfuls into the fryer.
Something like this: 
http://www.cooks.com/rec/doc/0,184,149182-254205,00.html


Could be the ticket. Thanks!
 
2012-12-20 05:06:13 PM
Smoked pork butt this weekend with the kids. Christmas day will be just me so steak ala AB in cast iron and some garlic mushroom and red wine sauce. And Oswin for dessert.
 
2012-12-20 05:08:06 PM

aprentic: She's been storing them in the wine fridge. I don't know the exact temperature in there but it's somewhere in the range of normal white-red wine temperatures.


Gotcha.  Fermentation temperature makes AAAALLLL the difference in the world.  There's a cutoff somewhere around 55 degrees that transforms the acidifying bacteria into making lactic acid instead of acetic acid.  Huge difference in flavor.
 
2012-12-20 05:09:44 PM
Having dinner with the in-laws, which means turkey, lasagna, sausage stuffed mushrooms, fried artichoke, and 5 different kinds of pie.
 
2012-12-20 05:09:53 PM

twoody: bim1154: Made this turducken a few years ago. Going to do it again this year.

Nice work!  Do you debone your own birds?


Yes... pain in the ass. Been making these since before they were popular elsewhere.
 
2012-12-20 05:10:34 PM

KellyKellyKelly: 5 different kinds of pie.


It IS all about the pie!!
 
2012-12-20 05:10:53 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

There will be beer, burgers, and a double-feature of Django Unchained and The Hobbit.

/now that's doing Christmas right
 
2012-12-20 05:11:46 PM
Roast beef, mushroom gravy, green beans, and Yorkshire Pudding. For Christmas Day..For Eve we have a Spanish dinner...Cold salmon/potato/egg salad, spinach pancakes and soup.
 
2012-12-20 05:13:33 PM
 
2012-12-20 05:13:45 PM

mryoop789: We like to make Christmas a little fancy and exotic. That's why I always make my famous Spamshi...
[www.guavarose.com image 850x566]


I think I'm allergic to Spamshi's. Anytime I eat like more than 80 Spamshi's I barf
 
2012-12-20 05:16:04 PM

twoody: aprentic: She's been storing them in the wine fridge. I don't know the exact temperature in there but it's somewhere in the range of normal white-red wine temperatures.

Gotcha.  Fermentation temperature makes AAAALLLL the difference in the world.  There's a cutoff somewhere around 55 degrees that transforms the acidifying bacteria into making lactic acid instead of acetic acid.  Huge difference in flavor.


That could have been the problem with my batch. I made too much to fit in the wine fridge so I put it in the front hall. It's usually pretty cool there but who knows. I suspect that it was some contamination though. IT didn't just taste bland it was definitely rotten. (I rarely spit out food but I made an exception)
 
2012-12-20 05:18:12 PM

Shostie: Eutamias21: Shostie: my husband

[quizzicaldog.jpg]

I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...


I saw it once, and once was enough.
 
2012-12-20 05:18:24 PM

R.A.Danny: Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas
[i1231.photobucket.com image 653x490]

 
ibostonterrier.com
 
Boston Butt in reali life
 
2012-12-20 05:21:16 PM

Tax Boy: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x335]

There will be beer, burgers, and a double-feature of Django Unchained and The Hobbit.

/now that's doing Christmas right


Be sure to liveblog your experience at the Alamo!
 
2012-12-20 05:23:24 PM
I think I'm going to try beef pörkölt in red wine with nokedli.

4.bp.blogspot.com

Or stuffed meat rolls.

i6.photobucket.com

Easy.
 
2012-12-20 05:24:53 PM

twoody: Occasionally rational: I want to make lemon curd and give it out as gifts with a recipe for something to use it in.

A. I've planned to use Alton Brown's recipe since it was the first one in a search and I'm too lazy to research to find out which recipe is actually the best. Good idea?

B. Do you have a recipe to suggest I give with the lemon curd?

It's pretty simple to make, and A.B.'s recipe is pretty solid.  Just be sure to add your hot liquid to your eggs, and NOT your eggs to your hot liquid.  One way makes a great curd, the other way makes lemon egg drop soup.


Hmmm. Recipe says to mix all but butter and then place bowl over simmering water until slightly thickened, then add butter later. Is there a better idea?

Thanks, by the way! I've not made it before.
 
2012-12-20 05:25:36 PM
Lasagna. 
 
No, you can't have the recipe. Family recipe and it stays in the family.
 
Oh, but are you missing out on some awesome lasagna...
 
2012-12-20 05:27:09 PM

Occasionally rational: twoody: Occasionally rational: I want to make lemon curd and give it out as gifts with a recipe for something to use it in.

A. I've planned to use Alton Brown's recipe since it was the first one in a search and I'm too lazy to research to find out which recipe is actually the best. Good idea?

B. Do you have a recipe to suggest I give with the lemon curd?

It's pretty simple to make, and A.B.'s recipe is pretty solid.  Just be sure to add your hot liquid to your eggs, and NOT your eggs to your hot liquid.  One way makes a great curd, the other way makes lemon egg drop soup.

Hmmm. Recipe says to mix all but butter and then place bowl over simmering water until slightly thickened, then add butter later. Is there a better idea?

Thanks, by the way! I've not made it before.


Some people make it by heating all but the eggs, pouring one third of the hot mix into the eggs SLOWLY, and then adding the egg/lemon mix back to the main batch. 
 
The double boiler method is a little more complex, but it takes a lot of the error factor out of it.  (easier, but more of a sure thing).
 
2012-12-20 05:30:21 PM

aprentic: twoody: aprentic: We make everything from scratch (my wife makes the sauerkraut because the last time I tried it I made 5 gallons of rotten cabbage).

I'd love her recipe.  Homemade fermentations are loads of fun!

Keep everything really really clean. I'm pretty sure I was too cavalier about that with my rotten cabbage recipe.

Wash cabbage and take off the nasty outer leaves.
Cut out the stem and chop the rest of it into thin slivers (they looked like they were about 1 or 2 mm across).
Put them in a clean container.
Add about 1 tbl of salt per lb of cabbage (this is from memory I'll check with Ms. aprentic and update if I'm wrong).
It has to be sea salt or some other salt with nothing added or it can inhibit the fermentation process.
Mix it up and squish the whole thing down (with really clean hands).
Cover it and let it sit for a while. In a day or so there should be enough water to cover the cabbage. If not add some brine or vinegar top it off.
Let it sit in a cool place for a while (ready in about a week but it gets better with age).
The cabbage has to be completely submerged in the liquid or it will go bad. Cover it to keep junk out but don't use a tight fitting lid or it will explode (an air lock works if you're using a (clean) beer making bucket)

I'll run this by Ms. aprentic and if anything is wrong I'll post an update.


UPDATE: She said she squished it until there was about an inch of water on the top on the first day.
 
2012-12-20 05:34:29 PM
Oh, yeah. We got chickens so....

Scotch Eggs!

1.bp.blogspot.com

Hard-boiled eggs wrapped in sausage and baked. (Image not mine)

And, if you want a veggie option, use Gimme Lean! "sausage" or Felafel for the outside.

Grainy mustard is the correct condiment, in any and all cases.
 
2012-12-20 05:35:00 PM

TV's Vinnie: What Farkers are saying they will have:
[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

What they're REALLY gonna have:
[www.x-entertainment.com image 452x337]


Wow....a tablecloth! That's ritzing it up. especially if you have Ritz crackers too.
 
2012-12-20 05:37:28 PM

Marcintosh: R.A.Danny: Here's a nice smoked Boston Butt from this Thanksgiving. I'm planning a repeat performance for Christmas
[i1231.photobucket.com image 653x490]

[ibostonterrier.com image 640x480]

Boston Butt in reali life


That second dog from the left has her paw right in that ladies puss. That's hawt!
 
2012-12-20 05:46:23 PM
I'm going to try to make rack o'lamb this year.

I'll marinade in olive oil, garlic, thyme, rosemary then start in a pan and finish in the oven.

Meat lollipops for all!

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-20 05:49:17 PM

Broktun: I'm going to try to make rack o'lamb this year.

I'll marinade in olive oil, garlic, thyme, rosemary then start in a pan and finish in the oven.

Meat lollipops for all!

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x636]


Oh yummy. I had lamb last year for Christmas eve dinner. I wonder what we'll get this year.
 
2012-12-20 05:54:50 PM
We do Christmas breakfast, not dinner. Everyone has other relatives to visit, so it just makes it more convenient. We do make a lot of food so that no one really has to cook dinner for a week or so, baked ham for sandwiches, potato salad, sausage balls, cookies, and a big pot of chili.
I know how to make breakfast, so don't have any questions.
 
2012-12-20 06:05:24 PM

Broktun: I'm going to try to make rack o'lamb this year.

I'll marinade in olive oil, garlic, thyme, rosemary then start in a pan and finish in the oven.

Meat lollipops for all!

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x636]


That looks soooo good, but unfortunately I've never acquired the taste for lamb. I've had it half a dozen or more times cooked by some reputable places and yet I still don't like it.
 
2012-12-20 06:06:23 PM
Chef (Tom) Twoody,
Since I've stopped using processed white(devil) sugar in my frybread, there seems to be a lumping problem. Here's my basic recipe and instructions I follow:

3 cups of all-purpose white(devil) flour (sifted, not sifted, i don't really know which is better, as long as you steal it from a neighbor, old lady leaving the grocery store, maybe even a cop, it's all counting coup to me)
3 tbsp baking powder (more white in a sea of powdery white... great)
1/2 tsp of salt ( I swear to the Great Spirit this has to be a white conspiracy...)
1/4 cup of honey, preferably raw, unfiltered (finally! something of color in my delicious bowl of white death!)
24-36ish ounces of luke-warm water

Set a large, deep frying pan or soup pan on the stove and add 2-4 inches of oil, set to medium-high heat.
Place flour, baking power and salt in a medium sized mixing bowl and use a pastry whisk or fork to mix throughouly.
Add honey to water and stir. Once mixed, add enough water/honey mixture to flour mixture to ensure a moistened dough forms. I use my hands, others use the fork or pastry whisk to mix until a smooth, sticky dough forms.
Place dough on a genorously floured counter and pat smooth, or roll out to 1/4 inch thickness (or you can hand form pieces of dough like the southern Natives do). I cut them with a pizza cutter into roughly triangular shapes and fry in the oil until golden brown (flipping only once).

I was taught not to over mix as it makes tough frybread, but it seems something in my mix is causing lumps since I stopped using sugar... Any ideas?
 
2012-12-20 06:09:53 PM

RelaximusPrime: but it seems something in my mix is causing lumps since I stopped using sugar... Any ideas?


A couple of questions, are the lumps basically your dough, just without water, or does it taste bitter?
 
Are you using the same water you've always used, or did that change too?
 
2012-12-20 06:12:48 PM

twoody: eraser8: I never have enough sweets at my holiday feasts (because I'm not a big fan)...so, do you have any good suggestions (other than pie)?

I like to make Baklava, but it's a HUGE pain and takes forever.  So I came up with this simple way to make it:   http://www.cookwithtom.com/?p=760


I will try to show this to my wife. She made baklava last week, because she likes it, but complained about the time.
 
2012-12-20 06:13:57 PM
Mr. Twoody,

I'm not looking for something holiday specific. If anything, I'm hoping to satisfy a New Year's resolution.

My diet is basically frozen dinners and fast food. I'd like (need) to cut out the sodium, the cholesterol, and the fat. I don't eat sweets or baked goods, so that's not the issue. What I want (need) to do is to improve my diet in general. I'm a picky eater and vegetables generally turn me off. I also don't like cooking and the associated cleanup. I'm not asking for an easy answer, but rather I'd appreciate some online resources to help me stop being a bum. Any ideas?
 
2012-12-20 06:16:02 PM

casual disregard: Any ideas?


What foods do you like to eat?
 
2012-12-20 06:16:15 PM

maniacbastard: twoody,

I want to make the ultimate meat Matryoshka doll, If I start with stuffed baby quail, what animals should I use to create a feast for 40?

Difficulty: Kosher probably needed.


Stuffed camel. google it im too lazy. Guaranteed Halal and Kosher.
 
2012-12-20 06:24:08 PM

kwame: Shostie: I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...

I think the funny part is that I'm the only other person who has seen it.


Now I don't know whether to laugh or cry being in the same group as Kwame who has actually seen this movie.
 
2012-12-20 06:32:08 PM

twoody: casual disregard: Any ideas?

What foods do you like to eat?


Poultry, pasta, rice. Also very spicy. Probably nothing good, and I guess that is the challenge. I'm trying to radically change my habits for the better.
 
2012-12-20 06:34:00 PM
cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2012-12-20 06:34:37 PM
Mr Twoody

Congrats on #3. You've inspired me to try pumpkin gnocchi for a post xmas gathering next week. Gnocchi are so easy and the citirus butter sauce really caught my eye. Thanks for the recipe and wish me luck!
 
2012-12-20 06:45:51 PM

twoody: RelaximusPrime: but it seems something in my mix is causing lumps since I stopped using sugar... Any ideas?

A couple of questions, are the lumps basically your dough, just without water, or does it taste bitter?
 
Are you using the same water you've always used, or did that change too?


Mix the honey in with the water.
 
2012-12-20 06:48:47 PM

KrustyKitten: Mr Twoody

Congrats on #3. You've inspired me to try pumpkin gnocchi for a post xmas gathering next week. Gnocchi are so easy and the citirus butter sauce really caught my eye. Thanks for the recipe and wish me luck!


Good luck!!!
 
2012-12-20 06:50:40 PM

casual disregard: twoody: casual disregard: Any ideas?

What foods do you like to eat?

Poultry, pasta, rice. Also very spicy. Probably nothing good, and I guess that is the challenge. I'm trying to radically change my habits for the better.


Stick with spicy foods!!! It does wonders for your health, as king as it's not buried in fatty sauces. You may want to check out Devin Alexander's cookbooks, she specializes in your area of need.
 
2012-12-20 06:51:23 PM

twoody: RelaximusPrime: but it seems something in my mix is causing lumps since I stopped using sugar... Any ideas?

A couple of questions, are the lumps basically your dough, just without water, or does it taste bitter?

Are you using the same water you've always used, or did that change too?


Lumps are dough, not bitter and they are only slightly denser than the rest of the frybread. Enough to make a noticable difference, but a difference none-the-less. (I'm strive for the perfect frybread, dammit!)

I use bottled water, since I used to be on RO water and the place we moved to doesn't have that.
 
2012-12-20 06:52:55 PM

Dknsvsbl: twoody: RelaximusPrime: but it seems something in my mix is causing lumps since I stopped using sugar... Any ideas?

A couple of questions, are the lumps basically your dough, just without water, or does it taste bitter?
 
Are you using the same water you've always used, or did that change too?

Mix the honey in with the water.


You may try mixing the dough part way, letting it rest, and then finish the mixing. Also, sift your baking powder with your flour, baking powder is notorious for lumping up.

Last, make sure your water is cold when you add it.
 
2012-12-20 07:09:05 PM
Any suggestions for favorites that are low carb? Sweet or savory are ok. Husband is diabetic.
 
2012-12-20 07:14:56 PM
don't know if tortilla soup recipe is still needed, but this is what I just did:
 
Used ground New Mexico red chile and ground chile pasilla (also red), available in Mexican part of markets or anywhere at all if you're in the Southwest; mixed them together with more pasilla than New Mexican, but it doesn't matter
 
Water, chicken broth, powdered chile (like 3-4 tablespoons of the chile powder) 1 T ground cumin, chicken breasts - however many you think you need to serve the people.  I use my largest soup pot
 
Cook until chicken is tender, remove chicken.
 
Add red enchilada sauce (I used a jarred kind, but canned like Las Palmas will do).  The small can is enough.  Add half the can, taste, add the rest if you like it.  Add garlic, chop some onion and throw in there.  Add black beans and corn (or one or the other, as much as you like).  Simmer for 15 minutes (use the juice from the corn and beans too).
 
Chop up the chicken, put back in pot and simmer.
 
Cut a bunch of tortillas (preferably slightly dry) into strips.  I use a very light coating of olive oil in my darkest frying pan and then spray the top of the tortillas with olive oil, but you can go heavier on the oil if you want.  Throw in part of the tortillas, toast, mix around, put those in pot with soup.  Toast more tortillas, repeat until you have the amount of tortillas you think you like.  Keep tasting the soup.  Add more of the chile powder if you want to.  Or more cumin.  Or more enchilada sauce - make it how you like.
 
For garnish:  Any of the following:
 
diced cilantro
diced avocado
dry oregano
lime juice
diced white onions
AND
of course, more of those tortilla strips
 
Any variation of these ingredients will work, pretty much.  Cooking the chicken breasts in chicken broth and chile makes them much tastier than they would be otherwise.
 
Pav
2012-12-20 07:20:38 PM
I should be eating sweet sweet Chinese food as is proper tradition for me however I married a half goi and my mother in law is Christmas crazy so once again ill be having some Christmasy shiat.
 
2012-12-20 07:38:59 PM

vegasj: Don't know if all know this trick, I submitted this video and the Fark Nazis didn't pick it for the video page.

So I figure why not post in in a food thread!!?


easy way to separate the yolk from egg whites. Never, ever, seen it done this way.


OK. THAT was cool.
 
2012-12-20 07:40:19 PM

mitimoe: Hey fellow Farkers. I am trying to win a contest for my wife. If you have a moment, would you please "like" my picture on the link provided. Must like it on the link and not on this post! (link goes to ATMC which is my local cable company). Thanks and Merry Christmas!

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151184106732828&set=o.89496 7 89220&type=1&theater

Wife is good people. Me..eh..but Wife is awesome..


No one wants spam for christmas dinner
 
2012-12-20 07:45:10 PM
Homemade Italian sausage and peppers on homemade bread with a nice Cabernet.

/Also, meatballs in my best Dago Red spaghetti sauce.
//And a nice salad
///Followed by espresso and ricotta pie
 
2012-12-20 07:45:55 PM

kwame: I hate when people try to tell me that Christmas is for ham and Thanksgiving is for turkey.

Name one f*cking Christmas song that mentions ham.  See.



Kwame, Here's one.

Link
 
2012-12-20 07:53:07 PM

twoody: 1 - DO NOT MESS WITH FAMILY HOLIDAY FOOD TRADITIONS. This is not the time to break out the dish you saw in Saveur... people will only complain that it's not the same way that Aunt Beth made it.

 
Oh jeez. Just earlier today I made our traditional Christmas Eve cavatelli (machine shaped gnocchi) with my mom for the first time. I've always resisted learning the recipe because my sisters know how to do it and whatever, but.  All I can say is no wonder her pasta is my least favorite in the world.
 
But the recipe is written in my grandma's handwriting so I just smiled and went along with it.
 
2012-12-20 09:00:58 PM
I am sooooooooooo hungry now!!!
 
2012-12-20 09:03:53 PM
We're doing bone-in prime rib smoked in the Big Green Egg. It's tradition.

Other than that, I'm not 100% sure what's on the menu. Mom and I are going shopping tomorrow. I know we've been discussing the following, which may or may not make it into the menu:

Popovers
Yorkshire Pudding
Garlic Mashed Potatoes
French cut sauteed green beans w/slivered almonds
Wilted spinach
Not sure what dessert will be.................hmm

And for Christmas morning we are nixing the tradition of Great Grandmother's Coffee Cake....may that evil side of the family finally rest in hell. And we're going to try a new tradition. I'm thinking quickie sticky buns using a bundt pan and Grands biscuits.

Christmas is fun again now that I have a son. You don't realize how effing boring Christmas is when there are no more kids. We're sleeping over in our pajamas and waking up early on Christmas Day. Of course, he's only 6 months old so he doesn't get it yet, but we'll enjoy the hell out of it. :)

Can't wait for some liquoured up coffee :)
 
2012-12-20 09:20:03 PM

Shostie: I swear to f*cking God I'm the only person in the world who has seen this movie...


I will be watching this! Cheers!
 
2012-12-20 09:24:56 PM

geekyspice: Christmas is fun again now that I have a son. You don't realize how effing boring Christmas is when there are no more kids. We're sleeping over in our pajamas and waking up early on Christmas Day. Of course, he's only 6 months old so he doesn't get it yet, but we'll enjoy the hell out of it. :)


18, 13 and 3 here. The 3 year old makes all the difference!!
 
2012-12-20 09:37:09 PM

Anderson's Pooper: geekyspice: Christmas is fun again now that I have a son. You don't realize how effing boring Christmas is when there are no more kids. We're sleeping over in our pajamas and waking up early on Christmas Day. Of course, he's only 6 months old so he doesn't get it yet, but we'll enjoy the hell out of it. :)

18, 13 and 3 here. The 3 year old makes all the difference!!


my two are 33 and 27.... it's still fun because the wife still buys them cheap novelty toys along with a few other things and they have come to expect it.
 
2012-12-20 09:54:08 PM
Mother is a great cook.
Apps; marinated shrimp, seafood ceviche, and grilled duck breast wrapped in bacon around cream cheese and jalapeno.
Main; prime rib that overwhelms your plate with au' jus sauce with potatoes pierre, plenty of veggies, rolls, and filet mignon for the kids.
/dessert; I'm too full, but cheesecake and strawberries dipped in sour cream and brown sugar.
//2 bottles of champagne for 4 people plus wine and scotch
///no need to try and drink more after it's over.
 
2012-12-20 10:34:11 PM
I will be making:
Prime Rib Roast
Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Brown Sugar & Bourbon Glazed Carrots
Asparagus or Green Beans
Yorkshire Pudding
Pecan Pie
Pumpkin Pie and whatever other various things get baked.
 
2012-12-20 10:48:56 PM
Sex on a cracker
 
2012-12-21 12:07:33 AM
Christmas in our home used to be about prime rib & foie gras before the PETA terrorists obliterated the much needed jobs in the entire California foie gras industry. This year we'll have to settle for prime rib alone, until our leaders can get the balls to put all PETA members behind bars where they belong.
 
2012-12-21 12:28:10 AM

fat aristotle: atlfarkette: All I know so far is that we are having prime rib.

Good choice. That's what poppa Aristotle is cocking as well.


Are you sure you want to eat that after he's finished?
 
2012-12-21 01:27:13 AM

kwame: I hate when people try to tell me that Christmas is for ham and Thanksgiving is for turkey.


I make Rabbit Stew for Easter...

Typically, we do Ham or a Roast for Christmas dinner, but this year, my sister and brother-in-law are taking us out to dinner on the Eve. They won't tell us where, so it's an unknown.
 
2012-12-21 08:55:38 AM
I just plan to eat at the Y as much as possible over the Christmas break.
 
2012-12-21 09:06:43 AM
Any suggestions for the following situation?

I want to do a baked rice pudding for dessert. However, the in-laws have the day planned as follows: Dinner at 5:30, church at 7:30, dessert after church (around 9). I'm not sure why they don't just do a Christmas lunch, because their schedule is a huge pain in the ass. Nobody likes rushing out directly after an orgy of cooking/eating, you guys!

I have considered the crock pot, but when I do this pudding in the oven, it comes out nice and firm (like a baked mac & cheese rather than a slumpy stove top rice pudding) so I'm not sure about the conversion. I've never done it in the crock pot before, and don't currently own one, so I can't test it out. Would the crock pot be ok? Would I be better off baking it in the morning, putting it in the fridge and reheating? How long would it take to reheat in the oven? Should I just have everyone nuke their individual bowls?

We're only serving 4, so the pudding isn't too large, and I don't think I can get away with not going to church so I can tend the pudding.
 
2012-12-21 11:02:44 AM
Dear Twoody,

http://www.npr.org/2012/11/13/165057852/giving-thanks-for-can-free-co o king?guid=1353345368347

I'm looking into making the can-less green-bean casserole here, but I'm gluten-free. What can I use instead of flour? Arrowroot?

Also, I'm thinking of using portobello mushrooms for that recipe, would it be too strong?

/Will follow on youtube, linkies?
 
2012-12-21 11:18:08 AM

shortymac: I'm looking into making the can-less green-bean casserole here, but I'm gluten-free. What can I use instead of flour? Arrowroot?

Also, I'm thinking of using portobello mushrooms for that recipe, would it be too strong?



I'm not twoody, but here's my take on your questions:

1) There's lots of thickening agents that are gluten-free: corn starch, guar gum, kudzu powder come to mind. I'm inclined to recommend the kudzu for the casserole: by the time corn starch gets thick enough, it tends to get gummy. Arrowroot doesn't have much "punch" in my experience.

2) You can never get too much umami. Portobellos will be fine. Preferable, in my book. Just be sure to de-gill them and cut them into small enough pieces so as not to be physically intrusive. It's a *green bean* casserole, after all. Don't skimp on the fried onions!

Sounds yummy. I might just make it myself! (Plans are still in flux at the Nuisance household, lots of travelers with divergent schedules)
 
2012-12-21 11:31:41 AM

shakenasababy: Hello twoody!

I have a question. I bought a deep frier for Friendsgiving and served up some great fried turkey. I thought I'd treat my parents this Christmas to a fried turkey, but maybe you have other suggestions for what I can deep fry?


My Father in Law always does Chicken Wings, Potato Wedges, Onion Rings, Mozz Sticks for apps.
 
2012-12-21 11:45:27 AM

shortymac: What can I use instead of flour? Arrowroot?


It looks like the flour is used for two things:  thickening the sauce (1/4 cup) and coating the onions to make em crispy when they get fried ( 1 1/4 cups).

If this is the case, I'd use corn starch as it's an easier conversion, and your onions will be far crisper than with other starches.

For thickening, 3/4ths a cup of cornstarch = 1 cup of flour.  Meaning you'll only need 6 TBS of corn starch.  To be safe, I'd mix the cornstarch with the chicken stock before you add the stock to the heat.  Mixing corn starch with butter can be tricky.

For the crispy onions, I'd reduce the corn starch to 1 cup and cook as directed.

All the best!
 
2012-12-21 11:51:13 AM

precia: Any suggestions for the following situation?

I want to do a baked rice pudding for dessert. However, the in-laws have the day planned as follows: Dinner at 5:30, church at 7:30, dessert after church (around 9). I'm not sure why they don't just do a Christmas lunch, because their schedule is a huge pain in the ass. Nobody likes rushing out directly after an orgy of cooking/eating, you guys!

I have considered the crock pot, but when I do this pudding in the oven, it comes out nice and firm (like a baked mac & cheese rather than a slumpy stove top rice pudding) so I'm not sure about the conversion. I've never done it in the crock pot before, and don't currently own one, so I can't test it out. Would the crock pot be ok? Would I be better off baking it in the morning, putting it in the fridge and reheating? How long would it take to reheat in the oven? Should I just have everyone nuke their individual bowls?

We're only serving 4, so the pudding isn't too large, and I don't think I can get away with not going to church so I can tend the pudding.


You have to be careful with a slow cooker, as it doesn't have an upper end electrical limiter, other than a thermo-coupler designed to prevent your slow cooker from meltdown.  In the case of rice pudding as long as you keep the pudding well hydrated you should be OK, but your risk is drying out the pudding if you're not watching it.

Another consideration is the browning/firmness your rice pudding will get in the oven.  Typically, the top of the rice pudding loses its moisture and becomes pretty firm.  In a slow cooker, the heat will never likely exceed the boiling point of your altitude, meaning no browning/firmness, and ultimately the goopy stovetop experience you're trying to avoid.

If I was doing it, I'd set my oven on a timer to be done about the time I got home from my events.  Food safety rules will allow the ingredients to rest in a room temperature oven for 3-4 hours before you would need to be concerned.  -assuming you cook the rice pudding to an internal temp of 165.
 
2012-12-21 11:52:02 AM
OK, I think I've answered all your questions.  If I've missed any I apologize, please repost the question and I'll do my best to get you a good answer.
 
2012-12-21 11:52:48 AM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: [investorplace.com image 400x291]

You are jealous, aren't you?

/neither am I


So you like tripe, heart, and stomach treated with chemicals?
 
2012-12-21 12:08:52 PM

twoody: shortymac: What can I use instead of flour? Arrowroot?

It looks like the flour is used for two things:  thickening the sauce (1/4 cup) and coating the onions to make em crispy when they get fried ( 1 1/4 cups).

If this is the case, I'd use corn starch as it's an easier conversion, and your onions will be far crisper than with other starches.

For thickening, 3/4ths a cup of cornstarch = 1 cup of flour.  Meaning you'll only need 6 TBS of corn starch.  To be safe, I'd mix the cornstarch with the chicken stock before you add the stock to the heat.  Mixing corn starch with butter can be tricky.

For the crispy onions, I'd reduce the corn starch to 1 cup and cook as directed.

All the best!


Thank you so much! :) I LOVE green bean casserole and I'm so happy to be able to make it! :)
 
2012-12-21 12:39:00 PM

twoody: You have to be careful with a slow cooker, as it doesn't have an upper end electrical limiter, other than a thermo-coupler designed to prevent your slow cooker from meltdown. In the case of rice pudding as long as you keep the pudding well hydrated you should be OK, but your risk is drying out the pudding if you're not watching it.

Another consideration is the browning/firmness your rice pudding will get in the oven. Typically, the top of the rice pudding loses its moisture and becomes pretty firm. In a slow cooker, the heat will never likely exceed the boiling point of your altitude, meaning no browning/firmness, and ultimately the goopy stovetop experience you're trying to avoid.

If I was doing it, I'd set my oven on a timer to be done about the time I got home from my events. Food safety rules will allow the ingredients to rest in a room temperature oven for 3-4 hours before you would need to be concerned. -assuming you cook the rice pudding to an internal temp of 165.


Thank you for the reply. My nervousness regarding using the slow cooker was basically for the reasons you've just stated. (Runny rice pudding is gross!) I don't know if the oven I'll be using has a timer, or if they'd even be ok with leaving it running while we're away. I guess my best option is to cook in the morning and reheat, as I doubt I'll be able to weasel out of church. I'd rather have to reheat (inelegant as that may be) than risk screwing up the dessert entirely.
 
2012-12-21 07:06:12 PM
Every year I make Prime Rib and then add a British theme to dinner with the addition of Yorkshire Pudding. I also make some roasted mushrooms, crispy potatoes, something green like green beans with bacon, and some gravy. This year we are adding a Blue Cheese Butter to go with the Prime Rib and I am actually thinking about adding some Horseradish to the butter.
So I guess my question to Chef Tom is can I add it to compound butter with out it being to strong or do I need to do something to it before I use it??? It is definitely an ingredient that I have not used at all. We buy this mayo that has it in it for Roast Beef Sandwiches but that is about as far as my exposure to it goes.

Also can I use it for other things besides Roast Beef???
 
2012-12-21 08:36:42 PM

casual disregard: twoody: casual disregard: Any ideas?

What foods do you like to eat?

Poultry, pasta, rice. Also very spicy. Probably nothing good, and I guess that is the challenge. I'm trying to radically change my habits for the better.


Have you given tofu a chance? It's like a flavor sponge when it comes to spicy, and it can be combined with rice and other veggies very easily. I know not everyone is a fan, but with a decent marinade and a garlic and chili paste out can be really good if you can sear a crust onto it.
 
2012-12-22 12:05:44 PM
Twoody, Why do I have to preheat my oven? Couldn't I adjust the appropriate cooking time, taking into consideration the time it takes to go from 0-450 degrees (in a logarithmic fashion of course)?

This is all I ask.

Thank you
 
2012-12-22 06:02:27 PM

Shostie: Hi, twoody,

I was just wondering how long it would take to cook a person, like, say, kwame.

You see, it's all part of this elaborate revenge fantasy. I plan to present the cooked kwame to my husband and say, "try the cock, Albert. It's a delicacy, and you know where it's been," as a sort of epic denouement and an homage to a cult movie that no one's seen but me.

Thanks,

Shostie


The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover.

Awesome movie.

=]
 
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