Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(ESPN)   Who would win between a team of all the Johnsons in the NFL versus all the Smiths?   (espn.go.com) divider line 66
    More: Amusing, NFL, Johnsons, P.K. Subban, Steven Stamkos, Josh Johnson, common surnames, UFL, Alex Ovechkin  
•       •       •

2688 clicks; posted to Sports » on 20 Dec 2012 at 1:43 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-12-20 01:46:19 PM  
The Smith's, because of the D-Line.
 
2012-12-20 01:47:08 PM  

SlothB77: The Smith's, because of the D-Line.


Pretty much this. I think SF thought it would be cool if all the surnames on their defense appeared to come from Ellis island.
 
2012-12-20 01:49:12 PM  
I remember making a team on Madden ('05, I think?) of players named Johnson; it was pretty damn good, actually, about top-15 team in ratings.
 
2012-12-20 01:59:35 PM  

ShadowLAnCeR: SlothB77: The Smith's, because of the D-Line.

Pretty much this. I think SF thought it would be cool if all the surnames on their defense appeared to come from Ellis island.


Smiths also field more starters on their O-Line. Having those Johnson WRs isn't going to you much wheb you're sitting there watching the Smiths grind the ball out.
 
2012-12-20 02:00:19 PM  
...anyone who can throw to Andre and Calvin and then hand it off to Chris isn't really going to have to be elite. I think Mark Sanchez might succeed with that offense.

This is now a Butt Fumbles thread.
 
2012-12-20 02:01:42 PM  
Similar idea - I've considered drafting a fantasy team with just players with colors for surnames (green, white, brown...)
 
2012-12-20 02:02:08 PM  
Subby's mom is a Big Johnson fan.
 
2012-12-20 02:03:40 PM  
the Smiths because they are louder than bombs
 
2012-12-20 02:07:04 PM  

SlothB77: The Smith's, because of the D-Line.


Calvin, Andre, Stevie and Chris make up a ridiculous offense that might not need more than 2 seconds to get open.....
 
2012-12-20 02:11:42 PM  
The QB difference is going to kill the Johnsons.
 
2012-12-20 02:13:20 PM  
I have to think the Johnsons would annihilate the Smiths. Justin and Aldon would help out with neutrailizing Chris Johnson, but none of those DB's would be able to to a thing against Megatron or Andre. Matt Stafford is a complete piece of shiat, but even he threw for 5,000 yards thanks to Calvin; I have to assume that Josh Johnson would be able to move the ball.


And if the Smiths are quarterbacked by Alex, the Johnsons only have to worry about covering from the line of scrimmage to 6 yards beyond the line of scrimmage. Steve and Torrey are downfield threats, but that doesn't mean much if Alex can't get the ball within 20 yards of them.


Johnson's 49, Smith's 17.
 
2012-12-20 02:15:49 PM  

homarjr: SlothB77: The Smith's, because of the D-Line.

Calvin, Andre, Stevie and Chris make up a ridiculous offense that might not need more than 2 seconds to get open.....


Who gets them the ball?
 
2012-12-20 02:15:50 PM  

flak attack: The QB difference is going to kill the Johnsons.


I thought TFA should have considered asking Brad Johnson to come out of retirement.
 
2012-12-20 02:19:11 PM  

Arkanaut: flak attack: The QB difference is going to kill the Johnsons.

I thought TFA should have considered asking Brad Johnson to come out of retirement.


Funny, I was thinking that TFA should have Emmit Smith come out of retirement. he could probably put up good yardage against that D
 
2012-12-20 02:20:18 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: homarjr: SlothB77: The Smith's, because of the D-Line.

Calvin, Andre, Stevie and Chris make up a ridiculous offense that might not need more than 2 seconds to get open.....

Who gets them the ball?


All-world QB Josh Johnson. Currently leading the Sacramento Mountain Lions to a 1-3 record in the UFL.
 
I mean, seriously, pull Brad Johnson out of retirement. I've never even heard of Josh Johnson and he's blowing it in the UFL.
 
2012-12-20 02:21:28 PM  

RoyFokker'sGhost: Funny, I was thinking that TFA should have Emmit Smith come out of retirement. he could probably put up good yardage against that D


Thought this was well; an "all time" Smiths v Johnsons would be a more interesting lineup/match.

I'm too lazy to come up with one; I'm sure I'll come back to this thread later and there will be at least a partial list.
 
2012-12-20 02:29:19 PM  

Droog8912: I remember making a team on Madden ('05, I think?) of players named Johnson; it was pretty damn good, actually, about top-15 team in ratings.

 
I did a team of Peyton Mannings vs a team of Emmit Smiths in NFL 2k5 way back when...
 
The Emmit Smiths won handily.

 
2012-12-20 02:34:08 PM  

grinding_journalist: RoyFokker'sGhost: Funny, I was thinking that TFA should have Emmit Smith come out of retirement. he could probably put up good yardage against that D

Thought this was well; an "all time" Smiths v Johnsons would be a more interesting lineup/match.

I'm too lazy to come up with one; I'm sure I'll come back to this thread later and there will be at least a partial list.


aldon, justin and bruce smith?

yeah, good luck to the QB
 
2012-12-20 02:35:41 PM  

paswa17: Similar idea - I've considered drafting a fantasy team with just players with colors for surnames (green, white, brown...)


Back when Tiki was still in the league I had 3 of the 4 Barbers. Tiki, his brother and Marion. There was another one who I can't remember, WR maybe? All I know is that other guy wouldn't trade him. jerk.
 
2012-12-20 02:35:51 PM  

Treygreen13: HaywoodJablonski: homarjr: SlothB77: The Smith's, because of the D-Line.

Calvin, Andre, Stevie and Chris make up a ridiculous offense that might not need more than 2 seconds to get open.....

Who gets them the ball?

All-world QB Josh Johnson. Currently leading the Sacramento Mountain Lions to a 1-3 record in the UFL.
 
I mean, seriously, pull Brad Johnson out of retirement. I've never even heard of Josh Johnson and he's blowing it in the UFL.


I bet Rob Johnson has more in the tank than Brad. Alternatively, maybe someone from the college ranks?
 
2012-12-20 02:39:24 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: Treygreen13: HaywoodJablonski: homarjr: SlothB77: The Smith's, because of the D-Line.

Calvin, Andre, Stevie and Chris make up a ridiculous offense that might not need more than 2 seconds to get open.....

Who gets them the ball?

All-world QB Josh Johnson. Currently leading the Sacramento Mountain Lions to a 1-3 record in the UFL.
 
I mean, seriously, pull Brad Johnson out of retirement. I've never even heard of Josh Johnson and he's blowing it in the UFL.

I bet Rob Johnson has more in the tank than Brad. Alternatively, maybe someone from the college ranks?


Jerrod Johnson is free, since the Steelers released him. He's young enough to have some value.
 
2012-12-20 02:41:02 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-20 02:41:59 PM  
should have just gone with an all-time Smith vs. Johnson
 
2012-12-20 02:45:08 PM  
I'd say The Smiths, but how soon is now?
 
2012-12-20 02:50:34 PM  

HaywoodJablonski: Treygreen13: HaywoodJablonski: homarjr: SlothB77: The Smith's, because of the D-Line.

Calvin, Andre, Stevie and Chris make up a ridiculous offense that might not need more than 2 seconds to get open.....

Who gets them the ball?

All-world QB Josh Johnson. Currently leading the Sacramento Mountain Lions to a 1-3 record in the UFL.

I mean, seriously, pull Brad Johnson out of retirement. I've never even heard of Josh Johnson and he's blowing it in the UFL.

I bet Rob Johnson has more in the tank than Brad. Alternatively, maybe someone from the college ranks?


Perhaps, but Rob Johnson also sucks.
 
2012-12-20 02:50:39 PM  
GO FIGHTING JOHNSONS! XD
 
2012-12-20 02:52:10 PM  
As long as the team of Johnsons plays in Rock Ridge.
 
2012-12-20 02:54:48 PM  
Jabar Gaffney should be the honorary captain of any Johnson team.

/Just sayin.
 
2012-12-20 03:02:43 PM  

grinding_journalist: RoyFokker'sGhost: Funny, I was thinking that TFA should have Emmit Smith come out of retirement. he could probably put up good yardage against that D

Thought this was well; an "all time" Smiths v Johnsons would be a more interesting lineup/match.

I'm too lazy to come up with one; I'm sure I'll come back to this thread later and there will be at least a partial list.


Yeah, I'll be back, too.

/Bookmark.
 
2012-12-20 03:05:31 PM  

This Looks Fun: Jabar Gaffney should be the honorary captain of any Johnson team.

/Just sayin.


I don't get it?

/Is it like saying Chris Cooley should be allowed on the All johnson team because he famously posted his Johnson online?
 
2012-12-20 03:06:01 PM  

LucklessWonder: As long as the team of Johnsons plays in Rock Ridge.


Luckless Johnson is Right!

(reveren')
 
2012-12-20 03:12:17 PM  

my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: This Looks Fun: Jabar Gaffney should be the honorary captain of any Johnson team.

/Just sayin.

I don't get it?

/Is it like saying Chris Cooley should be allowed on the All johnson team because he famously posted his Johnson online?


If we're going that route, Johnsons win for sure. Brett Favre with Calvin and Andre would be unstoppable.
 
2012-12-20 03:19:47 PM  

paswa17: Similar idea - I've considered drafting a fantasy team with just players with colors for surnames (green, white, brown...)


I tried that, but couldn't come up with enough players in all the positions to make it work. Instead, I went with players whose last names could be used as (relatively) common verbs (e.g. QB - Luck, RB - Lynch, etc.).

/Will have to think up a new theme for next year
 
2012-12-20 03:37:46 PM  

Why Would I Read the Article: ***snip***


Johnson's 49, Smith's 17.


Ditkas 63, Mini-Ditkas 54
 
2012-12-20 04:03:45 PM  

paswa17: Similar idea - I've considered drafting a fantasy team with just players with colors for surnames (green, white, brown...)


I wanted to do a team of abnormally long or hyphenated names. Looked like it could be a decent team.
 
2012-12-20 04:23:39 PM  

my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: I don't get it?

/Is it like saying Chris Cooley should be allowed on the All johnson team because he famously posted his Johnson online?


No, but you're on the right track. Do a GIS for Jabar Gaffney and look for yourself. I think he stuffs his uniform with a volleyball.
 
2012-12-20 04:25:05 PM  

johnnyq: paswa17: Similar idea - I've considered drafting a fantasy team with just players with colors for surnames (green, white, brown...)

I tried that, but couldn't come up with enough players in all the positions to make it work. Instead, I went with players whose last names could be used as (relatively) common verbs (e.g. QB - Luck, RB - Lynch, etc.).

/Will have to think up a new theme for next year


My buddy went to the playoffs with all white or hispanic players. He lucked out and it was during Hillis' great year. Made the playoffs. Brady to Welker carried "Team White-Out."
 
2012-12-20 04:32:13 PM  
Someone on reddit also managed the all-Williams roster:

Offense:
T - Trent
T - Chris
G - Bobbie
G - Garry
C - Zack
!QB - John Skelton
WR - Mike
WR - Kyle
TE - D.J.
RB - DeAngelo
WR - Damian

Notes on O:
Surprise, no QB. Following the logic that "John"s are wildcards, House Williams gets John Skelton.


Defense:
DT/NT - Kyle
DT/DE - Corey
DE - Mario
LB - Demorrio
LB - D.J.
LB - Jaquian
LB - Leon
CB - Cary
CB - Tramon
S - Madieu
*S - Aaron
 
2012-12-20 04:34:30 PM  
And the Browns still lose.
 
2012-12-20 04:35:23 PM  
Could the field goal kicker try to break his record using Jimmy Johnson as the ball?
 
2012-12-20 04:40:31 PM  
All-time Johnsons and Smiths.
 
Smith:
RB: Emmitt Smith (Dallas)
WR: Steve Smith (Carolina)
WR: Jimmy Smith (Carolina)
QB: Alex Smith (San Francisco)
TE: Jackie Smith (Cardinals)
DE: Bruce Smith (Buffalo)
DE: Neil Smith (Kansas City)
DT: Billy Ray Sr. Smith (Baltimore)
LB: Al Smith (Houston)
LB: Aldon Smith (San Francisco)
CB: Kevin R. Smith (Dallas)
CB: Thomas Smith (Buffalo)
SS: Dennis Smith (Denver)
FS: Dwight Smith (Tampa Bay)
C: Doug C. Smith (Rams)
RT: J.D. Smith (Eagles)
LT: Ernie Smith (Green Bay)
RG: Lance Smith (Cardinals)
LG: Jim Ray Smith (Cleveland)
K: John Smith (New England)
P: Hunter Smith (Indianapolis)
Johnson:
RB: Chris Johnson (Titans)
WR: Andre Johnson (Houston
WR: Calvin Johnson (Detroit)
QB: Brad Johnson (Tampa Bay)
TE: Curley Johson (Jets)
DE: Tim Johnson (Washington)
DE: Gary Johnson (San Diego)
DT: Charlie Johnson (Philadelphia)
LB: Derrick O. Johnson (Kansas City)
LB: Vaughan Johnson (New Orleans)
CB: Jimmy Johnson (San Francisco)
CB: Curtis Johnson (Miami)
SS: Demetrius Johnson (Detroit)
FS: Johnnie Johnson (Rams)
C: Bill Johnson (San Francisco)
RT: Mitch Johnson (Washington)
LT: Jack Johnson (Detroit)
RG: Cornelius Johnson (Baltimore)
LG: Tre' Johnson (Washington)
K: Norm Johnson (Seattle)
P: Lee Johnson (Cincinatti)
 
 
List assembled thanks to Pro Football Reference.com.
 
Players listed alphabetically, then I sorted by years played, then combed through looking for names I recognized, then pro-bowl appearances. Then sorted by number of games started.
 
Some of the positions are very, very thin on players so you'll get a lot of "WHO?!"
 
2012-12-20 04:46:43 PM  
And I don't wanna hear any "________ Johnson wasn't any good!" Too bad. He was the best Johnson. If you've got a better Johnson or Smith feel free to let me know.
 
2012-12-20 04:48:47 PM  

TheOther: ...anyone who can throw to Andre and Calvin and then hand it off to Chris isn't really going to have to be elite. I think Mark Sanchez might succeed with that offense.

This is now a Butt Fumbles thread.


I think he underestimated the power of The Sanchez...
 
2012-12-20 04:59:27 PM  

Treygreen13: And I don't wanna hear any "________ Johnson wasn't any good!" Too bad. He was the best Johnson. If you've got a better Johnson or Smith feel free to let me know.


A. Should've gone with, "If you've got a better Johnson, show me."

B. You're my kinda crazy.
 
2012-12-20 05:01:04 PM  

roc6783: Treygreen13: And I don't wanna hear any "________ Johnson wasn't any good!" Too bad. He was the best Johnson. If you've got a better Johnson or Smith feel free to let me know.

A. Should've gone with, "If you've got a better Johnson, show me."

B. You're my kinda crazy.


I had to re-write my sentence a few times. I wanted to avoid, "I can't get my hands on enough Johnsons".
 
2012-12-20 05:26:08 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
Would like to see a lineup of Johnsons.
 
2012-12-20 05:27:34 PM  

Gonz: LucklessWonder: As long as the team of Johnsons plays in Rock Ridge.

Luckless Johnson is Right!

(reveren')


Gonz Johnson is right about Luckless Johnson being right!
 
2012-12-20 05:32:17 PM  

TheOther: ...anyone who can throw to Andre and Calvin and then hand it off to Chris isn't really going to have to be elite. I think Mark Sanchez might succeed with that offense.

This is now a Butt Fumbles thread.


i787.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-20 05:36:25 PM  

jaybeezey: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 320x240]
Would like to see a lineup of Johnsons.


jaybeezey: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 320x240]
Would like to see a lineup of Johnsons.


www.hotflick.net

Can we call it a tallywhacker?
 
2012-12-20 05:36:51 PM  

Treygreen13: And I don't wanna hear any "________ Johnson wasn't any good!"


Well, try actually pleasing your wife next time!
 
Displayed 50 of 66 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report