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(The Week)   Blowout fractures, the loss of teeth, and third-degree burns requiring amputation and skull transplants; a doctor diagnoses the Home Alone burglars. AAAAARRRGGHHHHHHHH   (theweek.com) divider line 30
    More: Amusing, Home Alone, blowout fracture, It's A Wonderful Life, Weill Cornell Medical College, Kevin McCallister, skulls, teeth, torches  
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3000 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 20 Dec 2012 at 3:56 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 01:27:10 PM
Up next: an in-depth analysis into the Newtonian physics of coyote vs. roadrunner.
 
2012-12-20 02:19:14 PM
But more importantly, I want to know if Johnny's tommy gun scene really would have sent the pizza delivery guy running for his life?
 
2012-12-20 03:27:12 PM

Nadie_AZ: But more importantly, I want to know if Johnny's tommy gun scene really would have sent the pizza delivery guy running for his life?

 
And how was this possible?
hookedonhouses.net
 
2012-12-20 03:45:03 PM

ITGreen: Nadie_AZ: But more importantly, I want to know if Johnny's tommy gun scene really would have sent the pizza delivery guy running for his life?

And how was this possible?

[hookedonhouses.net image 512x384]


The angle was there, just not how he did it. And he would have hit the rail outside.
 
2012-12-20 04:00:55 PM
FTFA: "Classic air-powered projectile weapons typically have muzzle velocities of 350 feet per second or less. A BB fired at close range from such a weapon could break the skin, but will not penetrate the skull, and is unlikely to penetrate Harry's scrotum, especially through fabric." 
 
A beard is also effective protection from a BB fired at close range.
 
/Don't ask.
 
2012-12-20 04:01:02 PM
bare foot meet nail. game over.
 
2012-12-20 04:06:08 PM
I always figured that they were so furious with rage at being bested by a bratty 8 year old that the piling up of their injuries only served to give them that hulk or retard strength that you hear about.
 
2012-12-20 04:06:27 PM

ITGreen: Nadie_AZ: But more importantly, I want to know if Johnny's tommy gun scene really would have sent the pizza delivery guy running for his life?
 
And how was this possible?
[hookedonhouses.net image 512x384]


 
That's always bugged me.
 
The door is CLEARLY not lined up with the stairs. He would have slid right into the friggin wall.
 
2012-12-20 04:15:03 PM
Mick Foley had this doen for his second book, "Foley Is Good, and the Real World is Faker than Wrestling." Was a comparison of violence, drugs, and sexuality is Attitude-ea wrestling vs what else was available for kids to watch.

Home Alone kicked Wrestling's ass.
Cheers out-'drugged' wrestling - the report he was debunking listed beer-drinking as drug use.
And we won't get into comparing Raw to soap operas for sex...
 
2012-12-20 04:27:36 PM
The "Character's head cracks a toilet, he gets up and is fine" move is always one of my favorites.
 
2012-12-20 04:28:46 PM
So, it would have been kinder for Kevin to have a real gun and shoot them dead than to put them through the hell of amputations, skin grafts and facial reconstructions.
 
2012-12-20 04:29:13 PM
You know, I first saw this movie after I had been in a serious car accident. I was basically eating through a straw because my jaw was farked. I didn't expect much. Then the whole break-in/trap sequence started, I lol'd, and it really hurt, which made me lol more, etc. That's my great memory of Home Alone.
 
2012-12-20 04:35:16 PM
I'm more interested in the sequel.
2.bp.blogspot.com

Where are the skull fractures from multiple brick hits?

/WHAR?!
 
2012-12-20 04:35:18 PM

vrax: You know, I first saw this movie after I had been in a serious car accident. I was basically eating through a straw because my jaw was farked. I didn't expect much. Then the whole break-in/trap sequence started, I lol'd, and it really hurt, which made me lol more, etc. That's my great memory of Home Alone.


I actually know how you feel. I was in a serious car wreck a couple years ago and broke seven ribs. My wife borrowed some comedies for me to watch while I was recovering, not figuring that getting a man who just broke seven ribs to laugh might not be an enjoyable experience.
 
2012-12-20 04:40:48 PM
Yea even when I was 6 when this movie came out, I thought to myself "A swinging paint can to the face would probably do more damage and inflict more pain than a simple "ow"".

/tried to slide down the stairs in a sled with predicable results because of the movie as well.
 
2012-12-20 04:44:39 PM
Follow-up. Anyone remember Home Alone 3 with Max Keeble and "have a seat over there" Scarlett Johansson? It seems like almost every trap in that film would have outright killed if not horribly maimed those home invaders.
- Lawnmower + scalp =/= haircut
- swallowing plaster of paris isn't the easiest thing either
- the guy with SHOTGUN SHELLS (who isn't carrying a shotgun) that sits in the electrified chair and they go off like firecrackers!?? Logistics of how that could work aside having those shells blow up would likely shred your hip/thigh region
- (insert the rest of the movie here)
 
2012-12-20 04:55:38 PM

Great Janitor: vrax: You know, I first saw this movie after I had been in a serious car accident. I was basically eating through a straw because my jaw was farked. I didn't expect much. Then the whole break-in/trap sequence started, I lol'd, and it really hurt, which made me lol more, etc. That's my great memory of Home Alone.

I actually know how you feel. I was in a serious car wreck a couple years ago and broke seven ribs. My wife borrowed some comedies for me to watch while I was recovering, not figuring that getting a man who just broke seven ribs to laugh might not be an enjoyable experience.


Yeah, you just don't think about the stress that laughing puts on your body until you are broken. Or sneezing, coughing, smiling... heh
 
2012-12-20 05:06:33 PM
Hmmm, is the Culkin scream an "aaargh"? I think of it more as an "ahhhhh".
 
2012-12-20 05:07:05 PM
Too bad Letterman doesn't do his "Limited Perspective" film reviews anymore. My favorite was the guy who came on to discuss Jennifer Beal's welding in Flashdance.
 
2012-12-20 05:09:25 PM
Not to mention...

media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-20 05:11:36 PM

vrax: Great Janitor: vrax: You know, I first saw this movie after I had been in a serious car accident. I was basically eating through a straw because my jaw was farked. I didn't expect much. Then the whole break-in/trap sequence started, I lol'd, and it really hurt, which made me lol more, etc. That's my great memory of Home Alone.

I actually know how you feel. I was in a serious car wreck a couple years ago and broke seven ribs. My wife borrowed some comedies for me to watch while I was recovering, not figuring that getting a man who just broke seven ribs to laugh might not be an enjoyable experience.

Yeah, you just don't think about the stress that laughing puts on your body until you are broken. Or sneezing, coughing, smiling... heh


laughing was the worse because you really can't control that no matter how much you cry in pain
 
2012-12-20 05:29:08 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: Hmmm, is the Culkin scream an "aaargh"? I think of it more as an "ahhhhh".


No, I'd say it's an "Auuuugh!"
 
2012-12-20 05:31:03 PM

WordsnCollision: Not to mention...

[media.tumblr.com image 400x245]


That's one of the best screams ever.
 
2012-12-20 05:36:29 PM

ITGreen: Nadie_AZ: But more importantly, I want to know if Johnny's tommy gun scene really would have sent the pizza delivery guy running for his life?

And how was this possible?
[hookedonhouses.net image 512x384]


Now that I've actually done.

The secret is to lean just right. And beers. Many beers.
 
2012-12-20 06:10:45 PM
I'm recovering from a Christmas-related third-degree burn, so I'm really getting a kick....
 
/PROTIP: Molten candy is hot, and sticks to skin readily.
 
2012-12-20 07:20:30 PM

Great Janitor: vrax: Great Janitor: vrax: You know, I first saw this movie after I had been in a serious car accident. I was basically eating through a straw because my jaw was farked. I didn't expect much. Then the whole break-in/trap sequence started, I lol'd, and it really hurt, which made me lol more, etc. That's my great memory of Home Alone.

I actually know how you feel. I was in a serious car wreck a couple years ago and broke seven ribs. My wife borrowed some comedies for me to watch while I was recovering, not figuring that getting a man who just broke seven ribs to laugh might not be an enjoyable experience.

Yeah, you just don't think about the stress that laughing puts on your body until you are broken. Or sneezing, coughing, smiling... heh

laughing was the worse because you really can't control that no matter how much you cry in pain


I accidently tortured a friend of mine years ago by showing him the MST3K of "Manos". I didn't know until we were done that he'd cracked a couple ribs in a horse-riding accident earlier in the day.
 
2012-12-20 11:24:03 PM
If I had the talent, I'd do a Home Alone/The Good Son mashup
 
2012-12-21 12:08:06 AM

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: Follow-up. Anyone remember Home Alone 3 with Max Keeble and "have a seat over there" Scarlett Johansson? It seems like almost every trap in that film would have outright killed if not horribly maimed those home invaders.
- Lawnmower + scalp =/= haircut
- swallowing plaster of paris isn't the easiest thing either
- the guy with SHOTGUN SHELLS (who isn't carrying a shotgun) that sits in the electrified chair and they go off like firecrackers!?? Logistics of how that could work aside having those shells blow up would likely shred your hip/thigh region
- (insert the rest of the movie here)


I remember watching that movie and thinking they had a really cool house and that the mom was hotter( much hotter as a redhead than a ditzy blonde in Sixteen Candles) but also noticed that the Booby traps got deadlier and deadlier as the movie 'franchise' progressed.
 
2012-12-21 05:34:44 AM
Geesh, so much for enjoying my childhood. Now I'm wondering if "the Wet Bandits" we're really gay lovers who contracted HIV and needed the money for their medication which is why they started robbing houses in the first place. {rolls eyes}

/Next up, can we talk about James Bond again?
 
2012-12-21 09:34:20 AM

Your_Huckleberry: GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: Follow-up....

I remember watching that movie and thinking they had a really cool house and that the mom was hotter( much hotter as a redhead than a ditzy blonde in Sixteen Candles) but also noticed that the Booby traps got deadlier and deadlier as the movie 'franchise' progressed.


So much THIS.

And then this happened
www.popcornfreak.com
"Who is John Caffney and the Beaver Brown Band, thank you very much, I'll take Animal Sounds for $800 please Alex.."
 
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