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(Some Guy)   Sales of 'any old shiat' expected to treble as men start Christmas shopping   (newsthump.com ) divider line 55
    More: Obvious  
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1798 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 3:00 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 02:26:06 PM  
If those guys don't get something nice for their sweethearts soon, you can bet there'll be treble...
 
2012-12-20 02:26:41 PM  
And on that note....
 
2012-12-20 02:39:49 PM  
What did they bass this on?
 
2012-12-20 03:03:35 PM  
Thanks for reminding me. I guess I'm braving the blizzard to buy some clothes and jewelry. If I die tonight, my blood is on your hands, subby.
 
2012-12-20 03:05:28 PM  
Dad's gonna love this!

www.thedieline.com

On Christmas Day.
I will be nice.
I won't be bad or bratty.
Yes, I'll be nice,
And give Old Spice.
'Cause I know what's right for 'Daddy'.
 
2012-12-20 03:05:38 PM  
Aw shiat, I finished mine 2 days ago. Do I have to turn in my man card?
 
2012-12-20 03:07:02 PM  
Let's see if my list is complete:

Two left hand gloves - check
Tire gauge - check
pack of batteries - check
old spice - mmmmm no!
hello kitty house slippers - check
 
2012-12-20 03:07:11 PM  
And these puns are alto-gather unacceptable.
 
2012-12-20 03:08:06 PM  
I am strategically waiting until tomorrow is over. If the world ends, I didn't waste my time.
 
2012-12-20 03:08:21 PM  
Word for word, subby. Word for word. Dick.
 
2012-12-20 03:09:06 PM  
BTW, Don't spill any of that Old Spice on your wiener.
It burns like your uncle with a mouthful of his 'special medicine'.
 
2012-12-20 03:11:06 PM  

Dahnkster: BTW, Don't spill any of that Old Spice on your wiener.
It burns like your uncle with a mouthful of his 'special medicine'.


My uncle never tried that. He usually uses ice cubes.
 
2012-12-20 03:13:29 PM  
It's only the 20th. Plenty of time, yet.
 
2012-12-20 03:13:55 PM  
themagicalmiss.files.wordpress.comr23.cooltext.com
 
2012-12-20 03:23:15 PM  
I learned the hard way that the "25 lipstick and eye makeup holiday gift sets" contain all of the colors they couldn't sell that year and my wife didn't want them, either.

Probably tops my "any old shiat" gift list.

Second would be the exact same gloves I gave her the year before, which were still in the closet unused.
 
2012-12-20 03:25:05 PM  

marleymaniac: I am strategically waiting until tomorrow is over. If the world ends, I didn't waste my time.


Hey, that's a good excuse, think I'll steal it.

I used to work in a toy store in a mall, and there was one guy who came in every year on Christmas eve and asked us what we had left, and that is what he gave his kids that year. Fantastic guy, and it was a welcome change from the legions of idiot women who were scandalized at the idea that a particular popular toy would be sold out in the month of December.
 
2012-12-20 03:29:20 PM  

MerelyFoolish: I learned the hard way that the "25 lipstick and eye makeup holiday gift sets" contain all of the colors they couldn't sell that year and my wife didn't want them, either.

Probably tops my "any old shiat" gift list.

Second would be the exact same gloves I gave her the year before, which were still in the closet unused.


When you say same gloves do you mean just the same style or you actually got them out of the closet and gave them again.
 
2012-12-20 03:32:09 PM  
Buying Xmas gifts is such a hassle.
 
I really wish the trend would end. Everyone could spend the same amount of money that they would have spent on gifts on themselves, and then no one would be disappointed.
 
Why isn't THAT a friggin' tradition???
 
2012-12-20 03:35:02 PM  
Thank you Lord for Amazon Prime, Etsy, and a wife who knows how to make a Wish List. If only wrapping were so easy.
 
2012-12-20 03:39:42 PM  
Some guys don't shop at all. When I was a teenager, my mother had to work one year on Christmas day. She called the house and my father answered the phone. I only heard part of the conversation as he walked in the living room.
 
"What do you mean, 'What did I get you?'"
"Well, nothing."
"What did you want?"
"Well, there won't be anything because I didn't get anything."
"Okay, bye."
I looked at my dad, and he asked, "Did you get your mom anything?"
"Uh yeah, do you want me to put your name on it?"
"No, I'm going to have to find something. What's open?"
"Gas stations, maybe"
 
My father left. He remembered that Walgreens was open and did his Christmas shopping there. He returned with the bounty of a toaster oven, a fork to stick in meat with a built in thermometer, and an eyeglass repair kit. Later, when he was out of earshot, my mother complained about the quality of the gifts. I reminded her that she put him under the gun, and should be quite proud of the quality considering what he had to choose from. To this day, we still laugh over the eyeglass repair kit.
 
2012-12-20 03:39:47 PM  
doczoidberg: "Why isn't THAT a friggin' tradition???"

It is. Every day of the rest of the year.

As for disappointment: you can't be disappointed unless you were looking forward to the exchange with optimism. So disappointed people are either Ok with the concept itself, or outright like the idea. So "no exchange" isn't really solving anything for them. You just replace a dozen small disappointments with one day-long disappointment.

Gift receipts, wish lists, giving-up-on-aunt-sue-ever-giving-something-good -- these solve the disappointment problem.
 
2012-12-20 03:42:03 PM  
A friend of mine who is a dude finished his shopping on Black Friday, but he's gay. NTTIAWWT
 
2012-12-20 03:42:27 PM  
www.channelguidemagblog.com thepoelog.files.wordpress.com
I'll take 3!!!
 
2012-12-20 03:49:41 PM  
It's been twenty seven years since the day I prowled the mall on Christmas eve, looking for Christmas presents. I remember it well, it was cold and rainy and the people in the stores were downright unhappy. I was looking through the jewelry counter, knowing that whatever I got would be coming back to that very case in a weeks time after my old lady gave me a forced smile and an "oh, babe, it's lovely....just what I always wanted" when opening it. It was then I had the amazing revelation that it would probably be better to just give her cash. So I did.

Now everyone on my Christmas list gets cash money. My Christmas shopping consists of going to the manager at the bank and asking for a bundle of crisp fifty dollar bills. And you know what? They like it better that way. All except Aunt Annie, who claims that she will kick me in the balls if I don't get her something off the list she gives me instead of cash money.
 
2012-12-20 03:50:43 PM  

doczoidberg: Buying Xmas gifts is such a hassle.

I really wish the trend would end. Everyone could spend the same amount of money that they would have spent on gifts on themselves, and then no one would be disappointed.

Why isn't THAT a friggin' tradition???


That IS a tradition at my house. My husband and I buy our own gifts. We do that for birthdays, valentines day, our anniversary, etc. We don't spend a lot of money throughout the year so it really is a treat to buy something we truly want. We don't argue and we are both happy.
 
2012-12-20 03:52:48 PM  
Of chorus, it's all in the name of marital harmony
 
2012-12-20 03:54:31 PM  
I swear to FSM, I hate Christmas. Every materialistic, money grubbing, greedy inch of it. It can't be over soon enough for me. Then all we'll have to deal with is non-stop weight loss commercials and gyms that are overcrowded with new resolution-ers for about a week.
 
2012-12-20 03:57:56 PM  
As someone who just finished his first, and last shopping trip of this Christmas season, I can attest to this.

/getting a kick, etc...
 
2012-12-20 04:04:04 PM  

TommyDeuce


And these puns are alto-gather unacceptable.


This sort of thing isn't really our forte.
 
2012-12-20 04:06:51 PM  
Don't understand why some people see shopping for presents as such a chore. Giving someone a gift they enjoy is a real pleasure.
 
2012-12-20 04:10:40 PM  
I'm lucky or or have easy relatives. Everyone wanted books, video games, DVDs, or gift cards. Everything was ordered and mailed by the 14th. I'm on vacation until 1/7, so I have plenty of time to enjoy the bottle of Jamaican Rum Cream given to me at the office Holiday party.

/picked the right week to start drinking
 
2012-12-20 04:13:35 PM  

varmitydog:
Now everyone on my Christmas list gets cash money. My Christmas shopping consists of going to the manager at the bank and asking for a bundle of crisp fifty dollar bills. And you know what? They like it better that


That would be great, but I don't want to get junk I couldn't give less of a shiat I don't have any more than I want to go buy shiat other people couldn't care less they don't have to give to them. Which is how I arrive at my brilliant idea of skipping all the present giving bullshiat and everyone just spends their own money on themselves when they want to.
 
2012-12-20 04:20:53 PM  
Just got back and I think I bought a decent amount of any old shiat for the wife, you be the judge:

1 Small maroon purse
1 Nook Glowlight, because sometimes nook is hard to find in the dark
2 panties, 1 Supergirl themed, the other Wonder Woman, because panties may not be the best gift ever, but they are the closest thing to it.
2 Hair bun makers
2 Kit Kat darks
1 iPhone 5
 
2012-12-20 04:21:58 PM  
I got my wife a nice wool coat for Christmas. My only concern is the size. She is pregnant with twin boys, and due in April. I have no idea how women's sizes work, so i figured I'd err on the side of too large.

Got her a 20W, whatever that means...I think I might have gone too big...
 
2012-12-20 04:23:23 PM  
i1171.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-20 04:24:15 PM  
I think women are just as bad at gift shopping as men, I have gotten some of the most ridiculous gifts from women in my life over the years.
 
Several years ago I was at the mall with this girl I was dating at the time, trying to get ideas on what to get her for xmas.  If I saw something I thought she might like, I would stop and say something like 'Hey, that looks kind of nice' or 'This is cool, what do you think?' just to see what her reaction would be.  It backfired though, xmas morning I unwrapped half of those items as my gifts.
 
2012-12-20 04:27:16 PM  

croesius: I got my wife a nice wool coat for Christmas. My only concern is the size. She is pregnant with twin boys, and due in April. I have no idea how women's sizes work, so i figured I'd err on the side of too large.

Got her a 20W, whatever that means...I think I might have gone too big...


If she's always been fat and people play the "fat or pregnant?" game when they see her, it's prob ok to buy her clothes whether she is pregnant or not.
 
2012-12-20 04:28:23 PM  
My wife made a point of telling everyone exactly what she wanted from them. I picked up her present last week and sits been sitting under the tree right where she can see it. It is also wrapped in a way that she can't tell what it is, so she won't know until the 25th if its what she told me to get. I'm a douche that way.
 
2012-12-20 04:28:53 PM  

ReapTheChaos: I think women are just as bad at gift shopping as men, I have gotten some of the most ridiculous gifts from women in my life over the years.
 
Several years ago I was at the mall with this girl I was dating at the time, trying to get ideas on what to get her for xmas.  If I saw something I thought she might like, I would stop and say something like 'Hey, that looks kind of nice' or 'This is cool, what do you think?' just to see what her reaction would be.  It backfired though, xmas morning I unwrapped half of those items as my gifts.


She got you an Orange Julius, didn't she?
 
2012-12-20 04:30:01 PM  
Gift receipts, wish lists, giving-up-on-aunt-sue-ever-giving-something-good -- these solve the disappointment problem.

Part of the 'disappointment' problem is figuring out what do you do with the weird shiat people give you. My group of friends is having a get together after X-mas where everyone brings the stuff they got that they don't want and sorts through other people's shiat to see if they want anything (or know of someone who would want it). Since we don't exchange presents, there are no hard feelings about who is bringing what to the table.
 
2012-12-20 04:30:49 PM  

Cymbal: croesius: I got my wife a nice wool coat for Christmas. My only concern is the size. She is pregnant with twin boys, and due in April. I have no idea how women's sizes work, so i figured I'd err on the side of too large.

Got her a 20W, whatever that means...I think I might have gone too big...

If she's always been fat and people play the "fat or pregnant?" game when they see her, it's prob ok to buy her clothes whether she is pregnant or not.


Uh oh, that does NOT sound reasurring...
 
2012-12-20 04:34:03 PM  

Nogale: Don't understand why some people see shopping for presents as such a chore. Giving someone a gift they enjoy is a real pleasure.


Gift giving isn't the chore. Spending money isn't necessarily a chore. Thinking of a gift that is appropriate is a chore. Also, mall-shopping is a serious chore.
 
2012-12-20 04:36:12 PM  
25 gifts NOT to get her!

http://shine.yahoo.com/photos/best-gifts-under-25-slideshow/
 
2012-12-20 04:41:33 PM  
TL, DR
 
Anyone got the Clef's Notes version?
 
/ducks
 
2012-12-20 04:54:23 PM  
One Christmas Eve when I was a kid, I remember the old man suddenly realizing that next day was Christmas. Scratched his ass to try to get some inspiration and out the door he went. Came back with six bars of Dove soap in a paper shopping bag and set it under the tree. That was my mom's gift that Christmas.
That was a good Christmas.
 
2012-12-20 04:57:34 PM  
FTA- "Retailers have been working hard to encourage men into their stores by piling up all the items that make women angry, and placing them in a section called 'Gifts She'll Love!".

That ain't satire, that is gospel truth.

/the sons of biatches!
 
2012-12-20 05:35:03 PM  

Dahnkster: Dad's gonna love this!

[www.thedieline.com image 700x475]

On Christmas Day.
I will be nice.
I won't be bad or bratty.
Yes, I'll be nice,
And give Old Spice.
'Cause I know what's right for 'Daddy'.


That crap makes my nasal passages constrict,
 
2012-12-20 05:39:13 PM  

croesius: I got my wife a nice wool coat for Christmas. My only concern is the size. She is pregnant with twin boys, and due in April. I have no idea how women's sizes work, so i figured I'd err on the side of too large.

Got her a 20W, whatever that means...I think I might have gone too big...


Sneak into her closet and see what the sizes are on the clothes she usually wears.
 
2012-12-20 06:00:46 PM  

not_an_indigo: croesius: I got my wife a nice wool coat for Christmas. My only concern is the size. She is pregnant with twin boys, and due in April. I have no idea how women's sizes work, so i figured I'd err on the side of too large.

Got her a 20W, whatever that means...I think I might have gone too big...

Sneak into her closet and see what the sizes are on the clothes she usually wears.


That would have been a right smart thing to do before I went shopping.
With that being said, I just took a peek...and most all her shiat is sized with letters, not numbers...

But from the numbers I DID see, I think I may be SCREWED.
 
2012-12-20 06:11:05 PM  

Nogale: Don't understand why some people see shopping for presents as such a chore. Giving someone a gift they enjoy is a real pleasure.


It's the stress of coming up with something they will like coupled with the stress of having to go out and interact with people who are just as aggravated as you.
 
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