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(WTSP)   Fraternity accused of killing a rented turkey. In other news, there must be a stripper shortage in Kansas   (wtsp.com) divider line 53
    More: Fail, Kansas  
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2459 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 9:30 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 09:28:14 AM  
You can rent turkeys?
 
2012-12-20 09:31:27 AM  
A Saigon Turkey bit my nose off.
 
2012-12-20 09:32:11 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: You can rent turkeys?


And can you return a partial turkey for a full refund?
 
2012-12-20 09:32:53 AM  
Was the turkey jive?
 
2012-12-20 09:33:18 AM  
That is a chicken, Boy. A Chicken.
 
2012-12-20 09:35:33 AM  

Another Government Employee: That is a chicken, Boy. A Chicken.


THAT'S NOT A CHICKEN, IT'S A BAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYBBBBBBBBIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!
 
cdn.videogum.com
 
2012-12-20 09:36:25 AM  
I wonder how many pledges had to fark it?
 
2012-12-20 09:36:59 AM  
As god as my witness, I thought turkeys could Beta Theta Phi
 
2012-12-20 09:40:24 AM  
So that's how these GOP-voting rednecks can afford to fark that chicken/turkey! I knew they couldn't possibly afford one outright.
 
2012-12-20 09:40:44 AM  

Another Government Employee: That is a chicken, Boy. A Chicken.


I say. I said, I say.
 
2012-12-20 09:41:05 AM  
All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.
 
2012-12-20 09:43:39 AM  

theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


So will the syphilis you contract via the initiation rites.
 
2012-12-20 09:43:47 AM  

theorellior: ... fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at,

Yep, from each other

and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


because nobody else wants to be friends with you jerkoffs
 
2012-12-20 09:44:40 AM  

Cold_Sassy: theorellior: ... fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at,

Yep, from each other

and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.

because nobody else wants to be friends with you jerkoffs


Too slow, bro! :)
 
2012-12-20 09:45:08 AM  
I decree, to be part of our fraternity, you must pay for your friends and pledge loyalty to our interests. Your identity will be this fraternity. This is who you are. Date rape and turkey murder. Say it with me...
 
2012-12-20 09:47:39 AM  

Nana's Vibrator: I decree, to be part of our fraternity, you must pay for your friends and pledge loyalty to our interests. Your identity will be this fraternity. This is who you are. Date rape and turkey murder. Say it with me...


Kansas fraternities: where stuffing the turkey takes a wholly different meaning.
 
2012-12-20 09:49:15 AM  
Whenever you see a sink with the hot water on the wrong side, you can bet the plumber went to KU.

KU=Nixon's favorite high school.

/From back in the day. The lawn. You know the drill.
 
2012-12-20 09:56:21 AM  

ga362: Whenever you see a sink with the hot water on the wrong side, you can bet the plumber went to KU.

KU=Nixon's favorite high school.

/From back in the day. The lawn. You know the drill.


Profile, hmmmm, SW Kansas. . . . Not MU, KSU? Few lines down, KSU!

I suppose we could quibble, but either way it still involves living in Kansas.

/Not me! I moved to the beach, and it's 60 degrees here today.

//RCJH
 
2012-12-20 09:58:47 AM  
img823.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-20 10:02:07 AM  

theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


Also they apparently murder rented turkeys at social gatherings.
 
2012-12-20 10:02:36 AM  

theorellior: the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


It's just like blood brothers! Except it's herpes.

/ I lol'd
// you'll get the bites
 
2012-12-20 10:05:51 AM  

theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


6/10
 
2012-12-20 10:06:42 AM  

Vegan Meat Popsicle: theorellior: the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.

It's just like blood brothers! Except it's herpes.

/ I lol'd
// you'll get the bites


I knew he was joking from his use of "Brotherhood". Capitalised, no less. It's distressing just how close the actual frat bros tend to come to his satire, though.
 
2012-12-20 10:12:08 AM  
We might rent turkeys, but we don't rent pigs!
 
2012-12-20 10:12:38 AM  

theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


you've really gotten a lot of mileage out of this
 
2012-12-20 10:13:22 AM  
theorellior dusts off a classic. Uses it to good effect.
 
2012-12-20 10:19:34 AM  
Wait, a bell is faintly ringing... is that a movie quote?
 
2012-12-20 10:20:52 AM  

Dear Jerk: theorellior dusts off a classic. Uses it to good effect.


Kewl, let's make a big old joke out of the whole issue. LOL.

/Grow up
 
2012-12-20 10:26:13 AM  
Sorry, had to post this:

- the turkey sandwiches on the next day must have been epic!
- Beta Theta Phi: eat fresh
- how is this different from having turkey-on-rye?
- did they run out of crackers?
- "Wild Turkey"
- did they lose their turkey security deposit?
 
2012-12-20 10:26:19 AM  
So its OK to choke the Chicken but not beat the Turkey..
Got it.
 
2012-12-20 10:30:54 AM  
Some lucky brother gets to pad his resume with:

"Frat Officer who investigated poultry related deaths"
 
2012-12-20 10:34:48 AM  

Singleballtheory: SecretAgentWoman: You can rent turkeys?

And can you return a partial turkey for a full refund?


You can return the digested turkey. Just leave the deposit.
 
2012-12-20 10:40:43 AM  
One - I was in a fraternity, and while we had more than our share of dumb people, but the hate in this thread is pretty funny.


That said, who the fark rents a turkey to a fraternity?!?!
 
2012-12-20 10:43:01 AM  
Subby, in Kansas the turkey is the stripper.
 
2012-12-20 10:46:34 AM  
All of you cluckers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been wattle-necked stuffing-faced geeks in the Chicken Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf turkey than you could shake a tail feather at, and the relationships you make in the feedyard will last you a lifetime.
 
2012-12-20 10:49:40 AM  

Publikwerks: One - I was in a fraternity, and while we had more than our share of dumb people, but the hate in this thread is pretty funny.


That said, who the fark rents a turkey to a fraternity?!?!


A pimp?
 
2012-12-20 10:50:20 AM  

poot_rootbeer: All of you cluckers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been wattle-necked stuffing-faced geeks in the Chicken Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf turkey than you could shake a tail feather at, and the relationships you make in the feedyard will last you a lifetime.


So will the Staphylococcus you contract via the stuffing.
 
2012-12-20 10:50:35 AM  

poot_rootbeer: All of you cluckers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been wattle-necked stuffing-faced geeks in the Chicken Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf turkey than you could shake a tail feather at, and the relationships you make in the feedyard will last you a lifetime.


LOL. Hat-tip to the funnyman.
 
2012-12-20 10:56:54 AM  

aagrajag: Vegan Meat Popsicle: theorellior: the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.

It's just like blood brothers! Except it's herpes.

/ I lol'd
// you'll get the bites

I knew he was joking from his use of "Brotherhood". Capitalised, no less. It's distressing just how close the actual frat bros tend to come to his satire, though.



Bros' Law?
 
2012-12-20 11:02:57 AM  

theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.


9/10. Bravo, good sir.
 
2012-12-20 11:05:42 AM  

ko_kyi: We might rent turkeys, but we don't rent pigs!


Who would want to rent a pig, Gus?
 
2012-12-20 11:06:14 AM  

CheekyMonkey: theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.

9/10. Bravo, good sir.


Yeah, this one had legs. I'm rescinding my previous 6/10, and concurr with CheekyMonkey.
 
2012-12-20 11:11:22 AM  

Smoky Dragon Dish: CheekyMonkey: theorellior: All of you Farkers are hating on a tradition you know nothing about, you all must have been pencil-necked pizza-faced geeks in the Chess Club, fraternity brothers get access to more top-shelf pussy than you could shake a stick at, and the relationships you make in the Brotherhood will last you a lifetime.

9/10. Bravo, good sir.

Yeah, this one had legs. I'm rescinding my previous 6/10, and concurr with CheekyMonkey.


It's a hoary old chestnut, but I like trotting it out from time to time.
 
2012-12-20 11:18:42 AM  

theorellior: It's a hoary old chestnut, but I like trotting it out from time to time.


Such as every time there's a story about a fraternity.

Which is just infrequently enough that there's always at least one person who hasn't caught on to the gimmick yet.
 
2012-12-20 11:32:49 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: You can rent turkeys?


All turkeys are technically rented, if you think about it.
 
2012-12-20 11:43:47 AM  
This is a scandal! Is it a coincidence it is the same turkey Obama pardoned for Thanksgiving?
 
2012-12-20 11:49:55 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: SecretAgentWoman: You can rent turkeys?

 
All turkeys are technically rented, if you think about it.
 
You poop turkeys and give them back to the store?
 
2012-12-20 11:51:32 AM  

poot_rootbeer: Such as every time there's a story about a fraternity.


Ahhh, give me my minor glory, such as it is.
 
2012-12-20 11:57:00 AM  
A Florida television station? Couldn't get a link from Lawrence Journal-World or Kansas City Star.

Incidentally, this apparently happened just a couple of blocks down the street from where I live, and I had heard nothing of it until now.

/consequences of eschewing local news for Fark and national news feeds.
 
2012-12-20 12:12:26 PM  
Rock Chalk Jayhawk KKKKKUUUUUUU


(used to call that the Chicken Chant, but perhaps now it's a Turkey?)
 
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