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(Southern Poverty Law Center)   Imprisoned Mormon cult leader Warren Jeffs decides to hop on the bandwagon, says world will end December 23rd   (splcenter.org) divider line 58
    More: Unlikely, Warren Jeffs, cults, FLDS, El Dorado, Colorado City  
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3070 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 9:21 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 01:53:55 AM  
How much does a shiv cost?
 
2012-12-20 03:13:16 AM  
Misseditbythatmuch.jpg
 
2012-12-20 09:23:50 AM  
Did he see Jeebus in the skid marks of his magic underpants?

I'm just kidding: Mormons aren't Christians.
 
2012-12-20 09:24:02 AM  
I'm sure he hopes it does
 
2012-12-20 09:25:31 AM  

the bandwagon, says world will end December 23rd


Which bandwagon is that?
 
2012-12-20 09:27:40 AM  
At least we can still celebrate Festivus.
 
2012-12-20 09:28:33 AM  

Jeffs told his followers to prepare grey or blue backpacks, of a certain size, and pack them with essentials to be ready to go when God calls them, Wyler said.


www.monologuedb.com


What does god need with a backpack?


pic is warm
 
2012-12-20 09:28:42 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: the bandwagon, says world will end December 23rd


Which bandwagon is that?


I think it's the Cubs' bandwagon. Because nothing says "end of the world" like the Cubs winning the World Series.

/Book it.
//Done.
 
2012-12-20 09:29:41 AM  
Hey, I remember that f*cker!

Has his d*ck fallen off yet from all that masturbation?
 
2012-12-20 09:30:22 AM  
All you need to know about Mormons, specifically the FLDS
i90.photobucket.com
Particularly the part about considering it their Godly duty to draw as much welfare as they can, specifically to bankrupt the government. They call it 'Bleeding The Beast'.
 
2012-12-20 09:32:47 AM  
His world ended a while back.
 
2012-12-20 09:33:10 AM  
The library where I work recently received "Jesus Christ's Message to the World" as revealed to Warren Jeff's.
It's s great big bucket of crazy. One of the "revelations" is a warning to the judges that convicted Jeffs.
 
No, we didn't order it. They were nice enough to send it for free.
 
2012-12-20 09:39:14 AM  
hmm lemme see ... Monson is awesome, is the Tyler Durden leader of a legit Church, ~14 million strong.  whereas this guy has polygamy and a Porter Rockwell like edge to himself... hmm... this is a pretty hard choice. not.
 
2012-12-20 09:42:44 AM  
Lets do this Cheech and Chong style with Sister Mary Elephant.

"Warren, Warren, WARREN WAKE UP, Thank You"
 
2012-12-20 09:43:01 AM  

NewportBarGuy: How much does a shiv cost?


i think two shekels to prison guard, #666.
 
2012-12-20 09:47:16 AM  

Englebert Slaptyback: Jeffs told his followers to prepare grey or blue backpacks, of a certain size, and pack them with essentials to be ready to go when God calls them, Wyler said.


[www.monologuedb.com image 150x150]


What does god need with a backpack?


pic is warm


What does god need with people grovelling before him...but it seems to be a standard requirement of most religions.
 
2012-12-20 09:50:42 AM  
abcnewsradioonline.comimg1.bdbphotos.com
He got it all from daddy.
 
2012-12-20 09:52:55 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-20 09:52:56 AM  
Joseph Smith's b.d. is the 23rd, b.t.w.
 
2012-12-20 09:55:49 AM  
I bet warren jeffs is a lot like Jesus. Give it a couple centuries, you'll see.
 
2012-12-20 09:59:38 AM  
Nice trolling subby...

You guys belong on Fark if you think Warren Jeffs is a "Mormon" and if you think that the FLDS and LDS groups are the same.
 
2012-12-20 10:09:12 AM  
Maybe we're all just part of his dream and our whole world ends every time he wakes up.
sharetv.org
 
2012-12-20 10:10:11 AM  

1nsanilicious: Nice trolling subby...

You guys belong on Fark if you think Warren Jeffs is a "Mormon" and if you think that the FLDS and LDS groups are the same.


The FLDS is the True Faith, and the LDS are a bunch of heretics that were weak enough to bow to man-made laws instead of following the commands of Our Lord and Savior!
 
2012-12-20 10:11:04 AM  
FLDS are not LDS

/not LDS
//has some good friends that are
//they have never tried to convert me or drink my beer
 
2012-12-20 10:15:25 AM  

whyRpeoplesostupid: I'm sure he hopes it does


Pretty much this ... the guy got life in prison plus 20 years to be served consecutively. Even after he dies, he owes them another 20. So the sooner the Apocalypse comes, the better for this guy.
 
2012-12-20 10:16:30 AM  

Wookie_Jesus: FLDS are not LDS

/not LDS
//has some good friends that are
//they have never tried to convert me or drink my beer


Well duh. It is the Baptists that will steal your beer.
 
2012-12-20 10:17:40 AM  
And I should give a shiat about what that child rapist says, why?
 
2012-12-20 10:21:28 AM  

give me doughnuts: The library where I work recently received "Jesus Christ's Message to the World" as revealed to Warren Jeff's.
It's s great big bucket of crazy. One of the "revelations" is a warning to the judges that convicted Jeffs.

No, we didn't order it. They were nice enough to send it for free.


Our library got one of those last week too! I guess they felt that the Scientologists shouldn't be the only ones who get to send us free unwanted crap to fill our dumpsters with.

The best part was that the name on the return address was Nathan Jessup.
 
2012-12-20 10:24:37 AM  
HOW can humans be so focked in the head that they follow this guy?
It astounds me.
 
2012-12-20 10:24:52 AM  

Richard Roma: give me doughnuts: The library where I work recently received "Jesus Christ's Message to the World" as revealed to Warren Jeff's.
It's s great big bucket of crazy. One of the "revelations" is a warning to the judges that convicted Jeffs.

 
No, we didn't order it. They were nice enough to send it for free.
 
Our library got one of those last week too! I guess they felt that the Scientologists shouldn't be the only ones who get to send us free unwanted crap to fill our dumpsters with.
 
The best part was that the name on the return address was Nathan Jessup.
 
 
Did you get the "Last Will and Testament of Jesus Christ" and the price list that came with it? That came the day before the book.
 
2012-12-20 10:31:21 AM  

limeyfellow: Wookie_Jesus: FLDS are not LDS

/not LDS
//has some good friends that are
//they have never tried to convert me or drink my beer

Well duh. It is the Baptists that will steal your beer.


You know difference between Baptists, Catholics and Jews? Baptists don't recognize the Pope as the head of the church, Jews don't recognize Jesus as the son of God, and Catholics don't recognize each other in the liquor store.

/here all week
 
2012-12-20 10:32:43 AM  

1nsanilicious: Nice trolling subby...

You guys belong on Fark if you think Warren Jeffs is a "Mormon" and if you think that the FLDS and LDS groups are the same.


A heretic by any other name...
 
2012-12-20 10:36:07 AM  

give me doughnuts: The library where I work recently received "Jesus Christ's Message to the World" as revealed to Warren Jeff's.
It's s great big bucket of crazy. One of the "revelations" is a warning to the judges that convicted Jeffs.

No, we didn't order it. They were nice enough to send it for free.


This past year, they sent me, and all my clergy colleagues in the region (Nova Scotia), copies of all their weird manifestos. I had a look through the first installment, for the lulz, and that was enough. I've been marking them "refused" and sending them back ever since.

/haven't received any for the last few months. Maybe they've taken the hint.
 
2012-12-20 10:36:22 AM  

limeyfellow: Wookie_Jesus: FLDS are not LDS

/not LDS
//has some good friends that are
//they have never tried to convert me or drink my beer

Well duh. It is the Baptists that will steal your beer.



Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants don't recognize the Pope as the leader of the Church.
Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store.
 
2012-12-20 10:37:51 AM  
dum dum dum dum dum
 
2012-12-20 10:39:05 AM  

give me doughnuts: Did you get the "Last Will and Testament of Jesus Christ" and the price list that came with it? That came the day before the book.


We got a separate mailing (next-day air, no less) explaining the silliness behind the book and how important it was. I don't remember a price list. Honestly, I don't even remember if the book we got was Last Will or Jesus's Message. Once I saw the name on it and realized it wasn't something we had ordered, I tossed it. I think the world will legitimately end before we get sent an unsolicited book that actually makes it into the collection.
 
2012-12-20 10:41:58 AM  

Crewmannumber6: All you need to know about Mormons, specifically the FLDS

Particularly the part about considering it their Godly duty to draw as much welfare as they can, specifically to bankrupt the government. They call it 'Bleeding The Beast'.


I really enjoyed reading that book and have recommended it to others many times. It's half true crime story, half history of Mormonism. Still not sure which half was scarier.

Also, does the title of every Krakauer book begin with a preposition?
 
2012-12-20 10:51:44 AM  

QueenMamaBee: limeyfellow: Wookie_Jesus: FLDS are not LDS

/not LDS
//has some good friends that are
//they have never tried to convert me or drink my beer

Well duh. It is the Baptists that will steal your beer.

You know difference between Baptists, Catholics and Jews? Baptists don't recognize the Pope as the head of the church, Jews don't recognize Jesus as the son of God, and Catholics don't recognize each other in the liquor store.

/here all week


and whenever there are four catholics together, you can usually find a fifth
 
2012-12-20 11:12:52 AM  

limeyfellow: Wookie_Jesus: FLDS are not LDS

/not LDS
//has some good friends that are
//they have never tried to convert me or drink my beer

Well duh. It is the Baptists that will steal your beer.


That's why you always take TWO Baptists fishing with you, and not one...
 
2012-12-20 11:20:39 AM  
"I've got a brother-in-law who once told my sister, 'If the prophet told me to, I'd slit your throat without even thinking about it.'" 
 
That statement should make for some awkward xmas dinners.
 
2012-12-20 11:21:47 AM  
...and to celebrate it's arrival, he will spill his seed upon the ground 23 times in 23 minutes.
 
2012-12-20 11:22:15 AM  
Jeffs told his followers to prepare grey or blue backpacks, of a certain size, and pack them with essentials to be ready to go when God calls them, Wyler said.

upload.wikimedia.org
"Don't forget your Nikes!"
 
2012-12-20 11:44:29 AM  

Oprah's Minge: Crewmannumber6: All you need to know about Mormons, specifically the FLDS

Particularly the part about considering it their Godly duty to draw as much welfare as they can, specifically to bankrupt the government. They call it 'Bleeding The Beast'.

I really enjoyed reading that book and have recommended it to others many times. It's half true crime story, half history of Mormonism. Still not sure which half was scarier.

Also, does the title of every Krakauer book begin with a preposition?


Krakaur is a bit of a hack. Half the stuff is true, but a lot of it is presented in a way that leaves out reasons, background. Etc.

I would honestly recommend Rough Stone Rolling AND Under the Banner of Heaven. Rough Stone covers Joseph Smith (including peep stones, part of the 1926 trial, and a lot of the background that either gets written out in Mormon histories, but treated with all the diligence of a flaming turd in Non-mormon histories [I'm looking at you, you POS Fawn Brodie]) Banner of Heaven will get you some of the Modern stuff. I've yet to find an evenhanded coverage of in between.
 
2012-12-20 11:54:50 AM  
oi45.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-20 12:10:01 PM  

Wookie_Jesus: FLDS are not LDS


This on so many many levels.
 
2012-12-20 12:23:31 PM  
Dammit, I have to get to dying again two days after we've all died? I can't fit in all this dying before Christmas.
 
2012-12-20 12:37:00 PM  
Leave it to a Mormon to take something that is already potato and raise it to Potato+ for their own
aggrandizement..
 
2012-12-20 12:56:48 PM  

give me doughnuts: 1nsanilicious: Nice trolling subby...

You guys belong on Fark if you think Warren Jeffs is a "Mormon" and if you think that the FLDS and LDS groups are the same.

The FLDS is the True Faith, and the LDS are a bunch of heretics that were weak enough to bow to man-made laws instead of following the commands of Our Lord and Savior!


Just like the Protestants aren't Catholics.
 
2012-12-20 12:57:17 PM  

limeyfellow: Wookie_Jesus: FLDS are not LDS

/not LDS
//has some good friends that are
//they have never tried to convert me or drink my beer

Well duh. It is the Baptists that will steal your beer.


That's why if you go fishing with a Baptist you should always include two. If you include just the one, he'll drink all your beer.
 
2012-12-20 01:02:30 PM  

QueenMamaBee: limeyfellow: Wookie_Jesus: FLDS are not LDS

/not LDS
//has some good friends that are
//they have never tried to convert me or drink my beer

Well duh. It is the Baptists that will steal your beer.

You know difference between Baptists, Catholics and Jews? Baptists don't recognize the Pope as the head of the church, Jews don't recognize Jesus as the son of God, and Catholics don't recognize each other in the liquor store.

/here all week


There is this shipwreck and six survivors find themselves on a life-raft: Two Methodists, two Lutherans and two Baptists. The life-raft ends up coming to shore of a deserted island. Immediately the two Methodists create the 1st Methodist Church of the Island. The two Lutherans do likewise, creating the 1st Lutheran Church of the Island. The Baptists then run themselves, to create the 1st and 2nd Baptist Churches of the Island.
 
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