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(Courier Mail)   Before you allow your son to bring in some eggs he found in the backyard so they can hatch in a container in his dresser drawer, make sure they're not the eggs of the second deadliest snake on earth   (couriermail.com.au) divider line 80
    More: Scary, Bear Grylls, eastern brown snake, Townsville Bulletin  
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14331 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 11:56 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2012-12-20 09:36:34 AM  
That's hissterical.
 
2012-12-20 10:48:40 AM  
It's Australia. What are the odds that anything that came out of those eggs wouldn't try to kill him?
 
2012-12-20 11:19:49 AM  
What in the world was the world's 2nd most deadliest snake doing in their back yard-- oh, it's Australia. I have relatives who live in the desert here in the US who have to constantly deal with rattlesnakes in their yard, and I don't understand why people farking put up with it. Move some place else.
 
2012-12-20 11:40:09 AM  

Sybarite: It's Australia. What are the odds that anything that came out of those eggs wouldn't try to kill him?


I believe the answer is none. None percent odds.
 
2012-12-20 11:53:00 AM  
Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid racoon, or a deer that may jump in front of your car. We do have polar bears up north.
 
 
New tourism slogan...
 
 
Australia: Our Whole Continent Wants You Dead
 
2012-12-20 11:58:09 AM  
Darwin SWIIIIINNNNGSSSSSS.....and misses.

/better luck next time dude.
 
2012-12-20 11:59:55 AM  
tinyurl.com

Kill Crites.
 
2012-12-20 12:00:08 PM  
Bahahahhahhah...

Darwin in motion.

I'm sick of these motherfarking deadliest snakes on the planet in my motherfarking bedroom!!
 
2012-12-20 12:00:11 PM  
My snake is still the deadliest.....to the ladies
 
2012-12-20 12:00:52 PM  

gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid racoon, or a deer that may jump in front of your car. We do have polar bears up north.


New tourism slogan...


Australia: Our Whole Continent Wants You Dead


Yeah, but let's be honest. If you're a tourist in a foreign country, chances are all the local people want you dead. The wildlife will get the leftovers.
 
2012-12-20 12:01:36 PM  

gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid racoon, or a deer that may jump in front of your car. We do have polar bears up north.


New tourism slogan...


Australia: Our Whole Continent Wants You Dead


We've got some poisonous spiders and snakes but they're not too commonly found around people, thank goodness. You couldn't pay me to live in Australia.
 
2012-12-20 12:03:53 PM  

Sybarite: It's Australia. What are the odds that anything that came out of those eggs wouldn't try to kill him?


I bet even their chickens are homicidal.

/everything else is
 
2012-12-20 12:06:00 PM  

BKITU: Sybarite: It's Australia. What are the odds that anything that came out of those eggs wouldn't try to kill him?

I believe the answer is none. None percent odds.


What if they were wallaby eggs? Wallabies lay eggs, right?

/ I'd like a pet wallaby; they are small and cuddly, not like those red kangaroos.

// I know wallabies don't lay eggs; or do they?
 
2012-12-20 12:07:28 PM  
Townsville eh?

Time to call in the Power Puff Girls.
 
2012-12-20 12:09:57 PM  
Found some eggs in the backyard... Better drink my own piss.
 
2012-12-20 12:10:44 PM  

iheartscotch: BKITU: Sybarite: It's Australia. What are the odds that anything that came out of those eggs wouldn't try to kill him?

I believe the answer is none. None percent odds.

What if they were wallaby eggs? Wallabies lay eggs, right?

/ I'd like a pet wallaby; they are small and cuddly, not like those red kangaroos.

// I know wallabies don't lay eggs; or do they?


Good on ya, for knowin some Oceanology, but they were really Drop Bear eggs. They look similar to the Wallaby eggs, but are more pinkish in hue. In the future I suggest you consult with Bruce's Australian Wildlife Offspring field guide.
 
2012-12-20 12:11:34 PM  
Kyle's older sister Shannon Sim, 22, said that her brother loved all animals, and enjoyed following the adventures of one of his heroes, survival expert Bear Grylls.

No wonder the kid almost killed himself.
 
2012-12-20 12:11:44 PM  
Are the snakes a protected species? Otherwise why release a clutch of the second-most venomous snakes in the world rather than destroying them?
 
2012-12-20 12:12:43 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

/oblig
 
2012-12-20 12:13:25 PM  
Australia....

mmmm......Olivia Newton John when I was 10....

/Like the fist of an angry god.
 
2012-12-20 12:15:35 PM  

Mayhem of the Black Underclass: iheartscotch: BKITU: Sybarite: It's Australia. What are the odds that anything that came out of those eggs wouldn't try to kill him?

I believe the answer is none. None percent odds.

What if they were wallaby eggs? Wallabies lay eggs, right?

/ I'd like a pet wallaby; they are small and cuddly, not like those red kangaroos.

// I know wallabies don't lay eggs; or do they?

Good on ya, for knowin some Oceanology, but they were really Drop Bear eggs. They look similar to the Wallaby eggs, but are more pinkish in hue. In the future I suggest you consult with Bruce's Australian Wildlife Offspring field guide.


I thought that Bruce was in charge of the sheep dip.
 
2012-12-20 12:17:17 PM  
Australia would be the perfect arena for the Hunger Games.  Even the butterflies are deadly.
 
2012-12-20 12:21:36 PM  
2 things are silly about this.

1. Snake eggs are all leathery, not hard like chicken eggs. So this kid is an idiot.
2. A newly hatchd snake is not danerous. It's fangs aren't developed enough and neiher is it's venom.

I wouldn't test #2 first hand. But that's my understanding.
 
2012-12-20 12:23:10 PM  

DubyaHater: My snake is still the deadliest.....to the ladies


HPV, is it?
 
2012-12-20 12:23:33 PM  
scifiward.com
Already documented
 
2012-12-20 12:23:52 PM  

DubyaHater: My snake is still the deadliest.....to the ladies


STDs will do that.
 
2012-12-20 12:24:12 PM  

gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid

www.themarysue.com
 
2012-12-20 12:24:39 PM  

WordsnCollision: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 400x348]

/oblig


I get the animals part but what's so dangerous about Danni Minogue? Did I miss something here?
 
2012-12-20 12:26:57 PM  
The giveaway was the .au top level domain.
 
2012-12-20 12:27:16 PM  

katerbug72: gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid racoon, or a deer that may jump in front of your car. We do have polar bears up north.


New tourism slogan...


Australia: Our Whole Continent Wants You Dead

We've got some poisonous spiders and snakes but they're not too commonly found around people, thank goodness. You couldn't pay me to live in Australia.


I just want the world's eccentric billionaires to know they could pay me to live in Australia.
 
2012-12-20 12:28:32 PM  
I bet this is how Steve Irwin got started.

/Once on Animal Planet Steve Irwin did a countdown of the worlds ten deadliest snakes, number 2 was the Brown snake and he caught one out of some carboard boxes in his own garage.
 
2012-12-20 12:30:27 PM  

gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid racoon, or a deer that may jump in front of your car. We do have polar bears up north.
 New tourism slogan... Australia: Our Whole Continent Wants You Dead


Is it coincidence they've named a whole city Darwin? That smacks of tempting fate if you ask me.
 
2012-12-20 12:30:52 PM  
MUTHERF*CKING SNAKES ON A MUTHERF*CKING WARDROBE!!!
 
2012-12-20 12:31:31 PM  
been to Australia...the deadliest things to me were learning how to shift with my left hand, and a whole continent of new environmental allergens my immune system totally freaked out over
 
2012-12-20 12:34:32 PM  

Sybarite: It's Australia. What are the odds that anything that came out of those eggs wouldn't try to kill him?


That's how I envision Australia...Land of The Most Poison-est...[fill in the blank].
 
2012-12-20 12:38:45 PM  
Hmmm, they're extremely aggressive and kill lots of people. Better release 'em back into the wild.
 
2012-12-20 12:39:18 PM  

durbnpoisn: 2 things are silly about this.

1. Snake eggs are all leathery, not hard like chicken eggs. So this kid is an idiot.
2. A newly hatchd snake is not danerous. It's fangs aren't developed enough and neiher is it's venom.

I wouldn't test #2 first hand. But that's my understanding.


#2 maybe at birth, but baby (venomous) snakes are usually more dangerous than the adult in their species - they have less control over how much venom (which is as potent as adult venom) to administer.
 
2012-12-20 12:39:51 PM  

durbnpoisn: 2 things are silly about this.

1. Snake eggs are all leathery, not hard like chicken eggs. So this kid is an idiot.
2. A newly hatchd snake is not danerous. It's fangs aren't developed enough and neiher is it's venom.

I wouldn't test #2 first hand. But that's my understanding.


2 things are silly about this:

1. The kid isn't an idiot, he's THREE YEARS OLD. (The mother may very well be an idiot, however.)
2. The kid wanted to keep the snakes, so even if he had recognized what type of eggs they were, he'd probably still have kept them in his wardrobe.

At least, that was my understanding after RTFA.
 
2012-12-20 12:40:10 PM  
Why would anybody live in that constant-threat-of-death nation much less raise a child there?  I have never met an Aussie that wasn't completely insane.
 
2012-12-20 12:40:27 PM  
I just got back to my desk from murdering a brown snake...
 
2012-12-20 12:42:48 PM  
So, how many of you knew that that this tale would be set in Australia before you clicked on the link?
 
2012-12-20 12:44:25 PM  
I think the best part of this is that they aren't allowed to kill the snakes. They are a protected species. So there you go. Snuggle up and live with them. Best they can do is catch and release.
 
2012-12-20 12:45:04 PM  

CoffeeMug: I just got back to my desk from murdering a brown snake...


I thought everyone knew not to flush reptiles
 
2012-12-20 12:45:53 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid
[www.themarysue.com image 522x378]


Daaaaayuuuuuummmmm!

I knew Moose were big...really big...but seeing one with a bunch of cars around to put it in perspective...damn.
 
2012-12-20 12:47:25 PM  
Townsville? No worries.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-12-20 12:48:41 PM  
/oblig
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-20 12:49:24 PM  

Hot Carl To Go: CoffeeMug: I just got back to my desk from murdering a brown snake...

I thought everyone knew not to flush reptiles


It looked like the Kraken coming out of its lair.
 
2012-12-20 12:51:24 PM  
I don't f- with Australians... When the British discovered Australia, they quickly discovered that everything in Australia wanted to kill them... So they decided, instead of putting aside valuable land in Britain to house prisoners who would die eventually from the horrific conditions anyway, to send them to Australia... What they didn't count on was for the strongest, meanest, toughest, sons-a-biatches would not just survive, but thrive and carve out an existence there...
 
Steve Irwin might not have had a deep voice or a hairy back, but that crazy tough bastard laid down on a taipan, the worlds deadliest snake... Normal people don't DO that... He was tougher than a vampire... Not only did he have to be staked in the heart, it had to be a venom stake to the heart... RIP Steve...
 
2012-12-20 12:51:40 PM  
Even more: you're taking responsibility for the lives of those creatures. Say they were normal birds. Did you explain to your son that he has to be prepared to feed them 24/7 for several weeks until they they are able to fly and can be released?

Give me a break. This is the kind of person that adopts a dog, and when it becomes inconvenient, abandons it on the highway or out in the woods. Miserable excuse for human beings.
 
2012-12-20 12:52:20 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid
[www.themarysue.com image 522x378]


Especially during Rutting Season...
 
2012-12-20 12:52:27 PM  
Kyle's older sister Shannon Sim, 22, said that her brother loved all animals, and enjoyed following the adventures of one of his heroes, survival expert Bear Grylls.

what they should do is give him a talking to about why his idol is a fraud.
 
2012-12-20 12:57:15 PM  

Nogale: Are the snakes a protected species? Otherwise why release a clutch of the second-most venomous snakes in the world rather than destroying them?


I believe that, yes, it's illegal to kill brown snakes. There are entire businesses in Australia dedicated to getting the lil' bastards out of peoples' homes, and relocating them outside of the city.
 
2012-12-20 01:00:23 PM  

durbnpoisn: 2 things are silly about this.

1. Snake eggs are all leathery, not hard like chicken eggs. So this kid is an idiot.
2. A newly hatchd snake is not danerous. It's fangs aren't developed enough and neiher is it's venom.

I wouldn't test #2 first hand. But that's my understanding.


It's an absolute fact, all baby animals can't hurt you till they grow up. They're all so adora-lovi-huggable.

I also planning on leaving this fact untested.
 
2012-12-20 01:00:49 PM  
So, what are the odds that this kid's death will be before the age of 30 and involve a wild animal?
 
2012-12-20 01:04:10 PM  

Bendal: Sybarite: It's Australia. What are the odds that anything that came out of those eggs wouldn't try to kill him?

I bet even their chickens are homicidal.

/everything else is


 



Yeah, whatever you do, never look into their eyes...

i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-20 01:07:43 PM  
Done in two.
 
2012-12-20 01:15:08 PM  

DaCaptain19: #2 maybe at birth, but baby (venomous) snakes are usually more dangerous than the adult in their species - they have less control over how much venom (which is as potent as adult venom) to administer.


Snakes are most definitely able to envenomate very shortly after hatching. And you're totally correct, young snakes lack the ability to regulate the amount of venom they inject. They literally "go for broke" with every strike.
 
2012-12-20 01:20:50 PM  
B..b..b..b..but there's stil some motherfarking egg-laying brown snakes in their back yard...
 
2012-12-20 01:26:13 PM  
The most dangerous thing about the second-most-deadly snakes in the world is that they know they are #2 so they try even harder.
 
2012-12-20 01:31:00 PM  
Alternative Headline: Your son wants to bring eggs in from the backyard and you live in Australia. Think fast.
 
2012-12-20 01:46:12 PM  
pbfcomics.com
 
2012-12-20 02:02:03 PM  
Well... could've been worse.
 
2012-12-20 02:36:20 PM  
2nd deadliest snake in Australia, not on Earth. The coastal taipan is a bit more lethal due to venom toxicity and aggressiveness. Black Mamba, Common Lancehead or Fer-de-Lance, King Cobra, Russell's Viper, Barba Amarilla and Puff Adder are all more deadly. Factors determining this are; size, venom yield, venom toxicity, fang length, disposition and bites per year. Link
Also, whoever named that snake is a dumbass. "Brown snake" just sound too damn friendly.
 
2012-12-20 02:37:33 PM  

The Jami Turman Fan Club: gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid [moose picture]


A moose once bit my sister.
 
2012-12-20 02:47:15 PM  

spazzhappy: Found some eggs in the backyard... Better drink my own piss.


Sorry to all you folks down under, but I read that with an Aussie accent and lol'd.
 
2012-12-20 02:48:38 PM  
Simpsons did it.
 
2012-12-20 02:56:43 PM  
crikey, dammed Austrians, should have tried Bavarian eggs
 
2012-12-20 02:56:53 PM  

DaCaptain19: durbnpoisn: 2 things are silly about this.

1. Snake eggs are all leathery, not hard like chicken eggs. So this kid is an idiot.
2. A newly hatchd snake is not danerous. It's fangs aren't developed enough and neiher is it's venom.

I wouldn't test #2 first hand. But that's my understanding.

#2 maybe at birth, but baby (venomous) snakes are usually more dangerous than the adult in their species - they have less control over how much venom (which is as potent as adult venom) to administer.


A) The eggs could have been lizard eggs and the kids is three.
B) How does a snake not being capable of eating at birth make sense biologically?
C) Which do you think involves more venom, a baby snake that injects 75% of its venom or an adult which is over 5,000% larger that injects 25% of its venom?
 
2012-12-20 02:59:20 PM  
Australia?
 
[checks article]
 
Australia.
 
2012-12-20 03:18:29 PM  

thehighesttree: Kyle's older sister Shannon Sim, 22, said that her brother loved all animals, and enjoyed following the adventures of one of his heroes, survival expert Les Hiddens .


FTFY

/Now the kid might have a chance.
//bear is a hack.
// Les Stroud would be my next choice.
 
2012-12-20 03:19:46 PM  

katerbug72: gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid racoon, or a deer that may jump in front of your car. We do have polar bears up north.


New tourism slogan...


Australia: Our Whole Continent Wants You Dead

We've got some poisonous spiders and snakes but they're not too commonly found around people, thank goodness. You couldn't pay me to live in Australia.


Most Australians live in cities and have never even seen a koala let alone anything deadly. You're about as likely to see deadly wildlife in Sydney as you are to see a rattle snake in Boston,

One of the world's deadliest most aggressive species of spider is native to Sydney though, but I've lived many years in Sydney and never seen one.
 
2012-12-20 03:20:04 PM  
I once jumped out of my car to get a photo of a snake crossing the road in Australia ... It was only later that I identified it as an Eastern Brown. Glad I had a decent zoom lens.

Most wildlife isn't dangerous as long as you don't poke it. The exception is Saltwater Crocodiles which are scary as hell ... not freshies though - you can walk right up to those.
 
2012-12-20 03:23:47 PM  

computerguyUT: Australia....

mmmm......Olivia Newton John when I was 10....

/Like the fist of an angry god.


Olivia Newton John? Born in the UK, lived in Australia while growing up and has spent most of her life in the US.
 
2012-12-20 03:23:48 PM  

Sybarite: It's Australia. What are the odds that anything that came out of those eggs wouldn't try to kill him?


I think we're done here.
 
2012-12-20 03:44:06 PM  

Thorny: DaCaptain19: durbnpoisn: 2 things are silly about this.

1. Snake eggs are all leathery, not hard like chicken eggs. So this kid is an idiot.
2. A newly hatchd snake is not danerous. It's fangs aren't developed enough and neiher is it's venom.

I wouldn't test #2 first hand. But that's my understanding.

#2 maybe at birth, but baby (venomous) snakes are usually more dangerous than the adult in their species - they have less control over how much venom (which is as potent as adult venom) to administer.

A) The eggs could have been lizard eggs and the kids is three.
B) How does a snake not being capable of eating at birth make sense biologically?
C) Which do you think involves more venom, a baby snake that injects 75% of its venom or an adult which is over 5,000% larger that injects 25% of its venom?


Everything that I've been told about snakes and scorpions is that the babies are deadlier than the adults. Something about having stronger venom when they're younger.
 
2012-12-20 03:46:21 PM  

my_cats_breath_smells_like_cat_food: The Jami Turman Fan Club: gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid
[www.themarysue.com image 522x378]

Daaaaayuuuuuummmmm!

I knew Moose were big...really big...but seeing one with a bunch of cars around to put it in perspective...damn.


Yeah, Australia may have quantity, but Canadians go for quality. Polar bears, Moose, Wolverines, Kodiaks, Timber wolves...

Spend any time in Canada and you start to understand why dinosaurs went extinct.
 
2012-12-20 03:59:05 PM  

gopher321: Deadliest wildlife around here in Ontario is maybe a rabid racoon, or a deer that may jump in front of your car. We do have polar bears up north.


New tourism slogan...


Australia: Our Whole Continent Wants You Dead


It's Come to Australia, You Might Accidentally Get Killed.
 
2012-12-20 04:23:53 PM  

Great Janitor: Thorny: DaCaptain19: durbnpoisn: 2 things are silly about this.

1. Snake eggs are all leathery, not hard like chicken eggs. So this kid is an idiot.
2. A newly hatchd snake is not danerous. It's fangs aren't developed enough and neiher is it's venom.

I wouldn't test #2 first hand. But that's my understanding.

#2 maybe at birth, but baby (venomous) snakes are usually more dangerous than the adult in their species - they have less control over how much venom (which is as potent as adult venom) to administer.

A) The eggs could have been lizard eggs and the kids is three.
B) How does a snake not being capable of eating at birth make sense biologically?
C) Which do you think involves more venom, a baby snake that injects 75% of its venom or an adult which is over 5,000% larger that injects 25% of its venom?

Everything that I've been told about snakes and scorpions is that the babies are deadlier than the adults. Something about having stronger venom when they're younger.


Not true, I'm telling you otherwise.
 
2012-12-20 04:31:16 PM  

Great Janitor: Everything that I've been told about snakes and scorpions is that the babies are deadlier than the adults. Something about having stronger venom when they're younger.


The same thing is true of humans, but in regards to farts instead of venom.
 
2012-12-20 04:32:24 PM  

Bendal: I bet even their chickens are homicidal.


You got that right.

Link
 
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