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(TreeHugger)   Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring except for the springtails, bark lice, mites, moths, and spiders that were hibernating in the Christmas tree we chopped down and brought into our warm living room   (treehugger.com) divider line 49
    More: Scary, Christmas Critters  
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5633 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 11:44 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 09:33:22 AM  
"In standard two by two cover formation"
 
www.wired.com
 
2012-12-20 09:35:29 AM  
blog.nola.com
 
Who's laughing at me now, huh??!
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-12-20 10:13:20 AM  
farm5.staticflickr.com
"Please don't hurt me, human."
 
2012-12-20 11:46:02 AM  
spray everything with DDT.

fark the hippies
 
2012-12-20 11:47:23 AM  
Hmmm. If I share this article with my wife, then we won't have to go traipsing out in mid-December to cut down a Christmas tree ever again. Every year it's either raining or snowing the day we go to get a tree. The year we had an ice storm and my wife slid the van into a bollard at a gas station was the best.
 
2012-12-20 11:48:02 AM  

ZAZ: [farm5.staticflickr.com image 320x320]
"Please don't hurt me, human."


You must be unfamiliar with humans. They will wipe you out , just like they are doing to my kind.
/swims away.
 
2012-12-20 11:49:15 AM  
Yum....christmas insects.
 
2012-12-20 11:49:43 AM  
Luckily for this writer, our family started a tradition several years ago that makes the question moot. We painted a canvas with a tree. Now, every year at Christmas each visitor to our home paints an ornament on the tree.   
 
Urge to kill rising...
 
2012-12-20 11:49:47 AM  
"Little full... lotta sap. And some bugs."

content9.flixster.com


pic is warm
 
2012-12-20 11:51:41 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.comg-ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-12-20 11:52:19 AM  
Slowed down looking for the second pic ...
 
2012-12-20 11:53:32 AM  
About 4-5 years ago we cut down a live tree (from a tree-farm) and put it up in the house and kept hearing the snap-snap-snap sound sporadically and while we were never able to actually identify what it was, I am 100% cetain it was some hibernating insect believeing it to be spring.

Drove the dogs crazy, though, 'til it finally stopped.
 
2012-12-20 11:53:36 AM  
Where's Eddy, he usually eats these goddamn things.
 
2012-12-20 11:53:40 AM  
pikigeek.com

Rise, my children. Rise!.
 
2012-12-20 11:54:37 AM  
Incoming cool story bro time!


Several months ago; I was heading back home after work. When I opened the door; I saw about 20 moths flapping around my living room. I swatted them all. The next day; there were 30 moths. I swatted them all. That night when I came home; there were 30 more moths. It was a farking mothpocolipse. They, eventually, went away; and I haven't seen one in months.

/ apparently, late October is moth migration time
 
2012-12-20 11:56:54 AM  

BigLuca: Luckily for this writer, our family started a tradition several years ago that makes the question moot. We painted a canvas with a tree. Now, every year at Christmas each visitor to our home paints an ornament on the tree.
Urge to kill rising...


That's a pretty cool idea actually (well, except for the urge to kill part) very original.
 
2012-12-20 11:57:03 AM  
Now my wife won't think I'm insane for not wanting a tree this year. Before anyone says anything, I didn't want a tree because we have a two month old kitten.

Last year we bought a fake tree and my wife complained that I put my Commander Riker action figure on the top of the tree. So I replaced him with the Captain Picard action figure. She still complained. I explained to her that traditionally, Riker is at the top of the tree, she didn't care. biatch.
 
2012-12-20 11:58:35 AM  
d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2012-12-20 11:59:19 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: [blog.nola.com image 240x320]

Who's laughing at me now, huh??!


So shiny ... O_O ...
 
2012-12-20 12:04:58 PM  
Jordal says up to 25,000 living creatures may inhabit a tree.

Another reason fake trees are better
 
WGJ
2012-12-20 12:09:00 PM  
FTFA: Sadly, Jordal points out the fate of most of these unsuspecting visitors:
Both the Christmas tree and the house itself will be very dry. Also, most insects don't live off the tree, only in it. As they cannot feed on the limited plants found in most households, the bugs will quickly dry out and die.

Are there really people that feel this way about springtails, bark lice, mites, moths, and spiders?
 
2012-12-20 12:15:14 PM  
Springtails and bark mites and moths oh my.
 
2012-12-20 12:30:15 PM  

cgraves67: Hmmm. If I share this article with my wife, then we won't have to go traipsing out in mid-December to cut down a Christmas tree ever again. Every year it's either raining or snowing the day we go to get a tree. The year we had an ice storm and my wife slid the van into a bollard at a gas station was the best.


You know you can just go buy one for like $30
 
2012-12-20 12:32:04 PM  

iheartscotch: Incoming cool story bro time!


Several months ago; I was heading back home after work. When I opened the door; I saw about 20 moths flapping around my living room. I swatted them all. The next day; there were 30 moths. I swatted them all. That night when I came home; there were 30 more moths. It was a farking mothpocolipse. They, eventually, went away; and I haven't seen one in months.

/ apparently, late October is moth migration time


Kansas, eh? You probably caught the return of the miller moths. They live in the farm fields as army cutworms, then hatch into miller moths. During the spring, they migrate by the millions to the Rockies, where they spend the summer in the mountains, eating plant nectar and growing fat. (Bears consume them by the thousands, as they are very high in fat and tend to live in clusters under rocks.) In the fall, they make their bloated way back to the plains and lay eggs in the soil, creating a new generation of cutworms.

They're a nuisance here in Colorado in the spring. They don't eat fabric like other kinds of moths, but a dozen a day will manage to find their way into your cool house during the heat of the day and then bumble around all night looking for a way out. They're big and dumb and pretty much harmless, like the moth version of a golden retriever. We don't see as many during the fall -- I guess they take a different route back home.
 
2012-12-20 12:33:16 PM  

WGJ: Are there really people that feel this way about springtails, bark lice, mites, moths, and spiders?


No but think about it. How you you like it if a vastly more powerful and intelligent species came and ripped your house out of the ground, placed synthetic decorations on it and left you to die of thirst all in the name of 'tradition' when cheap artificial human houses were readily available.
 
2012-12-20 12:34:16 PM  
I always make sure that I buy a fresh christmas from a farm that uses tankers of pesticides on their fields
 
2012-12-20 12:34:26 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: cgraves67: Hmmm. If I share this article with my wife, then we won't have to go traipsing out in mid-December to cut down a Christmas tree ever again. Every year it's either raining or snowing the day we go to get a tree. The year we had an ice storm and my wife slid the van into a bollard at a gas station was the best.

You know you can just go buy one for like $30


I know. My wife knows. But she will only be happy if we make an adventure out of it. Nothing is satisfying if it's easy with her.
 
2012-12-20 12:35:01 PM  

WGJ: FTFA: Sadly, Jordal points out the fate of most of these unsuspecting visitors:
Both the Christmas tree and the house itself will be very dry. Also, most insects don't live off the tree, only in it. As they cannot feed on the limited plants found in most households, the bugs will quickly dry out and die.

Are there really people that feel this way about springtails, bark lice, mites, moths, and spiders?


I do. I always catch and release insects.
 
2012-12-20 12:37:11 PM  

cgraves67: I know. My wife knows. But she will only be happy if we make an adventure out of it. Nothing is satisfying if it's easy with her.


I bet your sex life is interesting.
 
2012-12-20 12:41:50 PM  

Mugato: "In standard two by two cover formation"

[www.wired.com image 200x200]


Haha YES!!

Came here for that, very glad to see it as comment #1. Kudos, good sir.
 
2012-12-20 12:44:38 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The year we had an ice storm and my wife slid the van into a bollard at a gas station was the best.

You know you can just go buy one for like $30


That's just the down-payment on the wife. The out-year expenses are the killer.
 
2012-12-20 12:50:49 PM  
We run a live tree, usually Colorado Spruce. Get 4-5 years out of each one before it outgrows the pot and/or someone forgets to water it during the summer. There are always a couple of garden spiders that are discovered during the trimming festivities, and have to be repatriated outdoors.

Part of the fun as far as I'm concerned... our ancestors started this evergreen-worship fetish out of reverence for the renewal of life, right? What could be more lively than an attractive tree with an invisible mite-and-spider ecosystem humming along unseen amongst the branches?

[BlueVelvetOpeningSequence.mov]
 
2012-12-20 12:51:46 PM  

Mugato: "In standard two by two cover formation"

[www.wired.com image 200x200]


OVER IN ONE!

(Came specifically for this.)
 
2012-12-20 12:52:51 PM  
This is why I thoroughly douse the tree in urine before bringing it into the house...
 
2012-12-20 01:00:26 PM  
www.jarretthousenorth.com

I've had one of these for years. I told a friend I wanted one but I was too cheap to pay Urban Outfitters $40 for it. So she bought me one for Christmas.

Funny thing is it's paid for itself a few times over since I haven't paid a tree in years. Now I like it even more because not one single hibernating spider has ever crawled out of it.
 
2012-12-20 01:06:52 PM  

jtown: [www.jarretthousenorth.com image 160x240]

I've had one of these for years. I told a friend I wanted one but I was too cheap to pay Urban Outfitters $40 for it. So she bought me one for Christmas.

Funny thing is it's paid for itself a few times over since I haven't paid a tree in years. Now I like it even more because not one single hibernating spider has ever crawled out of it.


MERRY CHRISTMAS CHARLIE BROWN!
 
2012-12-20 01:11:56 PM  
For some reason, I am reminded of Treevenge, a brutally violent short film made by the director of Hobo With A Shotgun.

NOT EVEN REMOTELY SAFE FOR WORK OR SANITY. CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK.
 
2012-12-20 01:14:46 PM  
fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net
"Oh tannenbaum, oh tannenbaum..."
 
2012-12-20 01:26:32 PM  

SMB2811: [d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net image 460x398]


The spider that is three feet behind you is happy you made it out alive with her babies in your ears.
 
2012-12-20 01:27:41 PM  
One homeowner trick with lots of pines to protect from thieves is to spray each one with a squirt of fox urine (hunting supply stores carry them). It's not noticeable outside when the weather is cold, but when some jackwagon cuts one down, takes it home, and let's it warm up in the living room at room temperature? YIKES!
 
2012-12-20 01:30:19 PM  

Great Janitor: Now my wife won't think I'm insane for not wanting a tree this year. Before anyone says anything, I didn't want a tree because we have a two month old kitten.

Last year we bought a fake tree and my wife complained that I put my Commander Riker action figure on the top of the tree. So I replaced him with the Captain Picard action figure. She still complained. I explained to her that traditionally, Riker is at the top of the tree, she didn't care. biatch.


My boyfriend is a Trekkie. Most of our ornaments are Star Trek ornaments from Hallmark. His mother even bought us a Spock tree topper. Though the top of our artificial tree doesn't allow for that topper. It's too tall.
 
2012-12-20 01:47:21 PM  
Cecil Adams - The Straight Dope - covered this last year. Link
 
2012-12-20 01:51:26 PM  
aww man, I really wanted to go to Stew Leonard's this year and pick out a tree. oh well, now I dont feel so bad for not going.

still wanna go and look tho.
 
2012-12-20 01:53:10 PM  

iheartscotch: Incoming cool story bro time!


Several months ago; I was heading back home after work. When I opened the door; I saw about 20 moths flapping around my living room. I swatted them all. The next day; there were 30 moths. I swatted them all. That night when I came home; there were 30 more moths. It was a farking mothpocolipse. They, eventually, went away; and I haven't seen one in months.

/ apparently, late October is moth migration time


This happened to me this year, though with not quite as many.  Never happened before.  Best part was when one tickled my wrist in the middle of the night and I let out a bloodcurdling scream.  Husband was not impressed.
 
Then I couldn't sleep because I was worrying about the little farkers eating all my beautiful expensive yarn.
 
2012-12-20 02:33:40 PM  

geekybroad: iheartscotch: Incoming cool story bro time!


Several months ago; I was heading back home after work. When I opened the door; I saw about 20 moths flapping around my living room. I swatted them all. The next day; there were 30 moths. I swatted them all. That night when I came home; there were 30 more moths. It was a farking mothpocolipse. They, eventually, went away; and I haven't seen one in months.

/ apparently, late October is moth migration time

This happened to me this year, though with not quite as many.  Never happened before.  Best part was when one tickled my wrist in the middle of the night and I let out a bloodcurdling scream.  Husband was not impressed.
 
Then I couldn't sleep because I was worrying about the little farkers eating all my beautiful expensive yarn.


I went all Samuel L Jackson on the moths.

My words, exactly:
" I am sick and mother farking tired of these mother farking moths in this mother farking house!!"

/ after I set out the fogger, they seemed to just fall out of the sky; damn, dirty, little bastards
 
2012-12-20 02:41:16 PM  

Shmeat: For some reason, I am reminded of Treevenge, a brutally violent short film made by the director of Hobo With A Shotgun.

NOT EVEN REMOTELY SAFE FOR WORK OR SANITY. CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK.


Ahaha, that was awesome.
 
2012-12-20 02:52:06 PM  
I dunno, I have an artificial tree and...well, have you ever seen a Giant European House Spider? The legs, the legs...and the speed...
 
2012-12-21 12:23:31 AM  
One time when I was 8, I woke up to eat breakfast one almost-Christmas morning. Made a bowl of cereal and sat down, looked around and noticed the walls were crawling. Closer examination revealed the house to be infested by thousands of praying mantis babies.

Most awesome Christmas ever. Was actually fun going around collecting them all up!
 
2012-12-21 07:42:21 PM  

Shmeat: For some reason, I am reminded of Treevenge, a brutally violent short film made by the director of Hobo With A Shotgun.

NOT EVEN REMOTELY SAFE FOR WORK OR SANITY. CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK.


Oh my.
 
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