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(WXYZ Detroit)   Schools cancel classes for rest of week due to 'Mayan calendar predictions'   (wxyz.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, predictions, rumors  
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5835 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 1:13 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



74 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-12-20 10:22:30 AM  
Getting the day off for an apocalypse is great at the time, but you always end up having to make those days up post-apocalypse, and going to school in a blasted hellscape where the living envy the dead is even less fun than usual.
 
2012-12-20 10:23:38 AM  
This cannot possibly be f*cking serious.
 
2012-12-20 10:45:52 AM  
There's a rumor going around in my town that a high school student was expelled for threatening violence tomorrow.
 
2012-12-20 10:47:05 AM  
This is why we can't have nice things.
The media builds these things up.
Then lunatics decide that they need to act by either being a prepper, hoard guns and possibly act on some delusion.
 
2012-12-20 11:00:37 AM  

Sybarite: Getting the day off for an apocalypse is great at the time, but you always end up having to make those days up post-apocalypse, and going to school in a blasted hellscape where the living envy the dead is even less fun than usual.


I want you to know I voted your post MOAST FUNNY.
 
2012-12-20 11:25:56 AM  

Sybarite: Getting the day off for an apocalypse is great at the time, but you always end up having to make those days up post-apocalypse, and going to school in a blasted hellscape where the living envy the dead is even less fun than usual.


Perhaps, but at least the busses should be a bit less crowded.
 
2012-12-20 12:38:09 PM  
o_O
 
Everyone responsible for that decision should be thrown into an active volcano.
 
2012-12-20 12:55:30 PM  
Sounds like a Vice-Principal wants to get as much sex with students in as possible without classes mucking things up.
 
GBB
2012-12-20 01:15:12 PM  
"the rest of the week"?? you mean Friday?
 
2012-12-20 01:17:41 PM  
The decision to cancel classes is not an easy one. After the recent events in Connecticut, there have been numerous rumors circulating in neighboring districts about potential threats of violence against students.

Additional rumors about the Mayan calendar predictions and related violence have caused significant disruptions in several Lapeer County Schools. These rumors have been thoroughly investigated and determined to be false. We are pleased to report that at Chatfield there have been absolutely no threats of violence and students, staff and parents have acted admirably. In fact, we anticipate that many of our students and staff will be disappointed that school has been closed.


Only a school district could make a statement so clearly pants-on-head-retarded and deliver it deadpan.
 
2012-12-20 01:18:42 PM  
It sounds like it's being done because they fear some nut will use the 21st as an excuse to commit violence. Still silly, but not as much as the headline suggests.
 
2012-12-20 01:19:41 PM  
Yeah, this is happening all over the country. More proof that America is moving closer to the movie "Idiocracy"
 
Some schools have been closed here in Virginia for the "end of the world" and one school system's superintendent sent out a letter to all parents. Here are the "highlights" aka face palms.
 
 
Dear Parents.
As you may be aware, there are several rumors regarding threats of violence and end of the world on December 21, 2012.

 
In our communication with law enforcement, we are aware that these rumors are nationwide and are unfounded.
 
 To further ease concerns, Friday we will have additional law enforcement to support our schools.
 
Yes, because when the end of the world comes and the ground opens up to swallow us all, the extra cops can shoot the ground or at least taze it and that will make it close back up.
 
/not enough face palms
 
2012-12-20 01:20:45 PM  
Meh. If there's been threats in the district it kind of makes sense.
 
2012-12-20 01:20:49 PM  
RTFA .. they didn't say they were closing the schools due to the Mayan apocalypse, just due to the high probability that some nutbar would use it as an excuse to cause shiat...

to me that sounds pretty rational..but i am canadian, so wtf do i know, eh?.
 
2012-12-20 01:21:04 PM  
*Ahem*

Aren't all the little ones out of school already for a different cult's superstitions?
 
2012-12-20 01:21:10 PM  
Heard about this from a friend in Grand Blanc. Stupid, stupid kids.
 
2012-12-20 01:22:29 PM  

AJisaff: RTFA .. they didn't say they were closing the schools due to the Mayan apocalypse, just due to the high probability that some nutbar would use it as an excuse to cause shiat...

to me that sounds pretty rational..but i am canadian, so wtf do i know, eh?.


Actually they say in the statement that there is no evidence of any threats against the schools actually being closed, but they're closing them anyhow. Therein lies the foolishness of it all.
 
2012-12-20 01:23:09 PM  
I want to know what time doomsday is, I know its tomorrow but when exactly does it start? Is it like new years and it travels around the globe or what? Do we get to watch Asia, the middle east and africa be reduced to a sea of lava and then it goes from New york to LA? I need to know if I should set my alarm or anything and also what to wear.
 
2012-12-20 01:24:26 PM  
Just so I know when to panic, is the world supposed to end ON the 21st or is the 21st the last day
before the end of the world?
 
2012-12-20 01:24:33 PM  

deanayer: I want to know what time doomsday is, I know its tomorrow but when exactly does it start? Is it like new years and it travels around the globe or what? Do we get to watch Asia, the middle east and africa be reduced to a sea of lava and then it goes from New york to LA? I need to know if I should set my alarm or anything and also what to wear.


It's already doomsday in Australia. Did they all die? Is there an Australian in the house? Are the Kangaroos OK?
 
2012-12-20 01:24:59 PM  
True believers tend to go apeshiat whenever their particular choice in apocalypse is about to occur and then fails to occur.
 
2012-12-20 01:26:38 PM  
Wow, many Farkers and commenters on that page are stupider than I thought.
The only thing dumber than believing the "Mayan apocalypse" is thinking other people believe it.
 
2012-12-20 01:26:45 PM  
What is the appropriate drink for an end of the world party?
 
2012-12-20 01:27:56 PM  

Walker: Yeah, this is happening all over the country. More proof that America is moving closer to the movie "Idiocracy"

Some schools have been closed here in Virginia for the "end of the world" and one school system's superintendent sent out a letter to all parents. Here are the "highlights" aka face palms.


Dear Parents.
As you may be aware, there are several rumors regarding threats of violence and end of the world on December 21, 2012.

In our communication with law enforcement, we are aware that these rumors are nationwide and are unfounded.

 To further ease concerns, Friday we will have additional law enforcement to support our schools.

Yes, because when the end of the world comes and the ground opens up to swallow us all, the extra cops can shoot the ground or at least taze it and that will make it close back up.

/not enough face palms


Reading comprehension - not your strong suit.
THEY AREN'T BRINGING IN EXTRA COPS BECAUSE THEY THINK THE END OF THE WORLD IS HAPPENING.
Dumbass.
 
2012-12-20 01:28:11 PM  
We are a nation of sandy vaginas.
 
2012-12-20 01:29:08 PM  

AJisaff: RTFA .. they didn't say they were closing the schools due to the Mayan apocalypse, just due to the high probability that some nutbar would use it as an excuse to cause shiat...

to me that sounds pretty rational..but i am canadian, so wtf do i know, eh?.


This.
 
/not Canadian.
 
2012-12-20 01:30:27 PM  

PowerSlacker: We are a nation of sandy vaginas.


t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-20 01:30:36 PM  

Begoggle: Wow, many Farkers and commenters on that page are stupider than I thought.
The only thing dumber than believing the "Mayan apocalypse" is thinking other people believe it.


You underestimate the stupidity of the American people. One third of Americans believe UFOs are real. 48% of Americans believe in ghosts. 51% of Americans voted for George Bush in 2004.
 
2012-12-20 01:31:48 PM  

Begoggle: Walker: Yeah, this is happening all over the country. More proof that America is moving closer to the movie "Idiocracy"

Some schools have been closed here in Virginia for the "end of the world" and one school system's superintendent sent out a letter to all parents. Here are the "highlights" aka face palms.


Dear Parents.
As you may be aware, there are several rumors regarding threats of violence and end of the world on December 21, 2012.

In our communication with law enforcement, we are aware that these rumors are nationwide and are unfounded.

 To further ease concerns, Friday we will have additional law enforcement to support our schools.

Yes, because when the end of the world comes and the ground opens up to swallow us all, the extra cops can shoot the ground or at least taze it and that will make it close back up.

/not enough face palms

Reading comprehension - not your strong suit.
THEY AREN'T BRINGING IN EXTRA COPS BECAUSE THEY THINK THE END OF THE WORLD IS HAPPENING.
Dumbass.


It was a joke dumbass. Your reading comprehension criticism is ironic, don't ya think?
 
2012-12-20 01:31:48 PM  
lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2012-12-20 01:32:00 PM  
Hey Michigan school admins, do you know the word "gullible" isn't in the dictionary?
 
2012-12-20 01:32:49 PM  
I happen to live in Genesee county. That was a 'played down' letter. What actually happened is that yesterday some kids decided to call in a bomb threat to one of our schools. They locked down that school and heard about some additional threats. Given recent events, they simply decided to start Christmas vacation early rather than take the chance that any of the rumors/threats turned out to be real.

And yeah... my daughter isn't in school today as a result.
 
2012-12-20 01:33:49 PM  
Wait, when did schools stop getting Christmas Vacation? Sorry...Holiday Break. [old_man_voice]When I was a kid, we had two weeks off at the end of the year.[/old_man_voice] Applied to this year's calendar, the last day of school for the year would have been 12/14/12 and we would have resumed classes on 1/2/13. Has that changed?
 
2012-12-20 01:33:56 PM  

Walker: Begoggle: Walker: Yeah, this is happening all over the country. More proof that America is moving closer to the movie "Idiocracy"

Some schools have been closed here in Virginia for the "end of the world" and one school system's superintendent sent out a letter to all parents. Here are the "highlights" aka face palms.


Dear Parents.
As you may be aware, there are several rumors regarding threats of violence and end of the world on December 21, 2012.

In our communication with law enforcement, we are aware that these rumors are nationwide and are unfounded.

 To further ease concerns, Friday we will have additional law enforcement to support our schools.

Yes, because when the end of the world comes and the ground opens up to swallow us all, the extra cops can shoot the ground or at least taze it and that will make it close back up.

/not enough face palms

Reading comprehension - not your strong suit.
THEY AREN'T BRINGING IN EXTRA COPS BECAUSE THEY THINK THE END OF THE WORLD IS HAPPENING.
Dumbass.

It was a joke dumbass. Your reading comprehension criticism is ironic, don't ya think?


Epic fail.
 
2012-12-20 01:35:28 PM  

jtown: Wait, when did schools stop getting Christmas Vacation? Sorry...Holiday Break. [old_man_voice]When I was a kid, we had two weeks off at the end of the year.[/old_man_voice] Applied to this year's calendar, the last day of school for the year would have been 12/14/12 and we would have resumed classes on 1/2/13. Has that changed?


We still have the vacation, they're just a bit shorter than you got as a kid.
 
2012-12-20 01:36:09 PM  

sigdiamond2000: This cannot possibly be f*cking serious.


It is. My son is in one of the districts.

I almost broke my nose faceplaming at the email last night.
 
2012-12-20 01:36:29 PM  

Begoggle: Wow, many Farkers and commenters on that page are stupider than I thought.
The only thing dumber than believing the "Mayan apocalypse" is thinking other people believe it.



aparently 10% of the population of the world does....
just sayin..

http://thecostaricanews.com/the-2012-mayan-prophecy-renewal-or-apocal y pse/14263
 
2012-12-20 01:36:32 PM  
Yes, it's true. I live among idiots.
 
2012-12-20 01:37:56 PM  
My daughter was actually pissed that they did this because she was looking forward to her class holiday party that they were going to have on Friday.

Me, I'd like to publicly humiliate the kids who called in the bomb threat to get out of an exam...
 
2012-12-20 01:38:56 PM  
Does anybody know what time the apocalypse is scheduled to start tomorrow? Do I need to set my alarm and go to work, or can I just stay up all night drinking?
 
2012-12-20 01:39:01 PM  

deanayer: I want to know what time doomsday is, I know its tomorrow but when exactly does it start? Is it like new years and it travels around the globe or what? Do we get to watch Asia, the middle east and africa be reduced to a sea of lava and then it goes from New york to LA? I need to know if I should set my alarm or anything and also what to wear.


The Mayan calendar rolls over at dawn on the 21st. I am assuming that is Yucatan time which is the same as U.S. Central time. Sunrise tomorrow in Cancun is at 6:20 AM so you really should be having your end of the world party tonight.
 
2012-12-20 01:41:38 PM  
Everyone involved in making this decision should be fired. Immediately.
 
2012-12-20 01:43:39 PM  
imageshack.us

Meh...

In town, it's well known that when the faculty gets home at night their fat and psychopathic spouses thrash them within inches of their lives.
 
2012-12-20 01:45:36 PM  
As someone who is from that neck of the woods (Michigan's Thumb), I am amused and oddly not surprised.
 
2012-12-20 01:47:04 PM  
All I ever do with these articles is hunt down the origin and make a mental note of how goddamn crazy and ignorant people are there.
 
2012-12-20 01:48:13 PM  

MSkow: Everyone involved in making this decision should be fired. Immediately.


Why?
I can't wait for your well-reasoned answer.
 
2012-12-20 01:49:21 PM  
laughingsquid.com
 
2012-12-20 01:49:40 PM  
THERE WAS A BOMB THREAT

apparently some of you haven't heard that part...
 
2012-12-20 01:50:59 PM  
An article on MSNBC said it was because of threats AND doomsday, but I don't think they posted a letter...
 
2012-12-20 01:54:46 PM  

GBB: "the rest of the week"?? you mean Friday?


News article posted 10:30pm last night sparky. School administrators do not post their memos directly to fark.
 
2012-12-20 01:57:41 PM  

Roller Bob: An article on MSNBC said it was because of threats AND doomsday, but I don't think they posted a letter...


I think some folks here are purposely ignoring the whole "bomb threat" part of it that I mentioned because it's funnier if they think it was just about Mayan Doomsday bullshiat.
 
2012-12-20 02:00:00 PM  
My bad... Grand Blanc Highschool students are the ones who called in the threat... and it wasn't just a bomb threat, it was a shooting threat. Apparently they were arrested for it.
 
2012-12-20 02:11:02 PM  
I'll go with a 30/70 on this one.

30% actually read and comprehended the article and realized that schools are closing due to the heightened threat of violence in schools.
70% opinion based on misleading Fark headline alone.

While said threat is unlikely, the decision is not outlandish due to recent events. Especially considering that, in the past, red letter days have often been tempting to the nutjobs who want to commit violence. And what better red letter day than the old Mayan prophecy.
 
2012-12-20 02:11:43 PM  
The Emergency Broadcast System went off on the radio when I was driving this morning. I admit I had just a moment of, "Oh shiat! The nutters really WERE right!" Then I calmed down and figured it was a test, at a poorly thought out time. (Do NOT test this system tomorrow, plz. On second thought, go ahead. For teh lulz) But they never said the bit about THIS IS A TEST... IF THIS HAD BEEN AN ACTUAL APOCALYPSE... Just the tone, a few seconds of silence, and then back to the song.

It was creepy.
 
2012-12-20 02:15:37 PM  
I haven't seen a single person who actually believes any of this. It's just some fraudsters trying to sell books, fill seats in a lecture hall, and people who are like, 'OMG, I can't believe people are so stupid'.
 
2012-12-20 02:16:03 PM  

Charlie Freak: There's a rumor going around in my town that a high school student was expelled for threatening violence tomorrow.


There was one arrested at a district near me. He said he thought it would be funny to shoot up a school on 12-21. Fark: Not arrested for terroristic threats. Charged with falsely reporting an incident. He made the comment to other students. He didn't report anything.

Puzzled dog is puzzled.
 
2012-12-20 02:40:17 PM  
When the odometer on my old `67 Dodge Dart rolled over (and let me tell you, the prediction was that that was *never* gonna happen), did it transform into a new car?

It did not.

Neither did the car destroy itself.

Short-block V8 was still banging along when the steering linkage gave out many months later and I just couldn't afford/justify the cost of parts to repair it.
 
2012-12-20 02:44:28 PM  
Yeah - 5th Century indigenous people running 23rd century software on rocks while the blood of their sacrifices runs down and sparkles in the moonlight cause concern in the early parts of the 21st century.

We will be mocked mercilessly by our descendants
 
2012-12-20 02:46:02 PM  
Haven't a lot of people predicted insane people committing random violence on that day? Sounds like a decent enough decision to me.
 
2012-12-20 02:58:54 PM  
Hasn't the holiday break already started at most schools?
 
2012-12-20 03:03:14 PM  

deanayer: I want to know what time doomsday is, I know its tomorrow but when exactly does it start? Is it like new years and it travels around the globe or what? Do we get to watch Asia, the middle east and africa be reduced to a sea of lava and then it goes from New york to LA? I need to know if I should set my alarm or anything and also what to wear.


If you go here and type in your city it gives you a time. I guess it's a cute little easter egg to do.

http://www.timeanddate.com
 
2012-12-20 03:04:44 PM  
Look at them.

Look at them and laugh.
 
2012-12-20 03:08:28 PM  

SAN66: deanayer: I want to know what time doomsday is, I know its tomorrow but when exactly does it start? Is it like new years and it travels around the globe or what? Do we get to watch Asia, the middle east and africa be reduced to a sea of lava and then it goes from New york to LA? I need to know if I should set my alarm or anything and also what to wear.

If you go here and type in your city it gives you a time. I guess it's a cute little easter egg to do.

http://www.timeanddate.com


6:11 am according to that. Cool, I always wanted to go in my sleep.
 
2012-12-20 03:33:17 PM  

GBB: "the rest of the week"?? you mean Friday?


Thursday and Friday, since this happened Wednesday night.
 
2012-12-20 03:45:54 PM  
You have got to be farking kidding me?!

bahahahah
 
2012-12-20 04:39:36 PM  

mr lawson: You have got to be farking kidding me?!

bahahahah


Yeah... people calling in threats to attack schools where my kids go to school is so farking hilarious...
 
2012-12-20 04:41:56 PM  

JohnnyC: THERE WAS A BOMB THREAT

apparently some of you haven't heard that part...


I read (and posted) the press release which read, in part:

Additional rumors about the Mayan calendar predictions and related violence have caused significant disruptions in several Lapeer County Schools. These rumors have been thoroughly investigated and determined to be false.

But what I'm getting from this thread is that if you receive a threat, investigate it "thoroughly" and determine it to be false, you need to go ahead and treat it as if it were true?

Or are the locals familiar with some details entirely absent from the article that subby linked?
 
2012-12-20 05:04:40 PM  

JohnnyC: My bad... Grand Blanc Highschool students are the ones who called in the threat... and it wasn't just a bomb threat, it was a shooting threat. Apparently they were arrested for it.


There were threats made to my son's high school also (I'm in Florida). It was ll unsubstantiated
rumors but given recent events, the powers that be weren't taking chances so they added a
couple of armed officers to the SRO who is normally there.
 
2012-12-20 05:07:55 PM  

A Shambling Mound: But what I'm getting from this thread is that if you receive a threat, investigate it "thoroughly" and determine it to be false, you need to go ahead and treat it as if it were true?

Or are the locals familiar with some details entirely absent from the article that subby linked?


Yeah. Allegedly two kids yesterday threatened to attack one of the local high schools (I was mistaken earlier when I said bomb... they threatened to shoot up schools in the area). They were tracked down and arrested. From what I have heard there have been other threats that came in as well but they were not all tracked down. Therefore the schools decided to err on the side of caution and close schools 2 days early, allowing for the Christmas break to finish investigating the threats and allow some time for this stuff to die down a bit.

There is a little bit more about it here but it too is short on many specifics. Still... this shiat isn't funny to me at all. The whole end of the world thing is obviously bullshiat... but I will not be taking any threats against my kid's life lightly. Which is exactly what happened yesterday.
 
2012-12-20 05:09:11 PM  
So anybody else here thinking "this whole Mayan apocalypse thing is b.s." but still planning
on getting in touch w/ family to say "I love you" just in case?

Yeah...me neither. Just askin'...
really
 
2012-12-20 05:12:46 PM  

digitalrain: There were threats made to my son's high school also (I'm in Florida). It was ll unsubstantiated
rumors but given recent events, the powers that be weren't taking chances so they added a
couple of armed officers to the SRO who is normally there.


They've had police stationed outside our local schools too. I'm sure that is going to be a continued practice for a while. They schools have been consulting with law enforcement about security and crisis prevention/response according to some of the letters that I have gotten about it. There have been some from the county and some from the school my kid attends. My daughter's teacher has also been in touch with us about it as well.
 
2012-12-20 05:16:35 PM  

JohnnyC: digitalrain: There were threats made to my son's high school also (I'm in Florida). It was ll unsubstantiated
rumors but given recent events, the powers that be weren't taking chances so they added a
couple of armed officers to the SRO who is normally there.

They've had police stationed outside our local schools too. I'm sure that is going to be a continued practice for a while. They schools have been consulting with law enforcement about security and crisis prevention/response according to some of the letters that I have gotten about it. There have been some from the county and some from the school my kid attends. My daughter's teacher has also been in touch with us about it as well.


It's crazy. On top of that, they found a dead woman in her vehicle two streets up and 3 streets over this past
Tuesday morning and they determined it was a homicide. So now I've got that to worry about as well. My kids
go past that area on the way to their bus stop.
 
2012-12-20 06:45:19 PM  

JohnnyC: mr lawson: You have got to be farking kidding me?!

bahahahah

Yeah... people calling in threats to attack schools where my kids go to school is so farking hilarious...


Well...in my defense. i drtfa and only went on the headline.

/good job subby..ya got me.
 
2012-12-20 08:29:29 PM  

JohnnyC: Yeah. Allegedly two kids yesterday threatened to attack one of the local high schools (I was mistaken earlier when I said bomb... they threatened to shoot up schools in the area). They were tracked down and arrested. From what I have heard there have been other threats that came in as well but they were not all tracked down. Therefore the schools decided to err on the side of caution and close schools 2 days early, allowing for the Christmas break to finish investigating the threats and allow some time for this stuff to die down a bit.

There is a little bit more about it here but it too is short on many specifics. Still... this shiat isn't funny to me at all. The whole end of the world thing is obviously bullshiat... but I will not be taking any threats against my kid's life lightly. Which is exactly what happened yesterday.


Thanks for the info, I take no issue with the closures. Perhaps the school board could have not mentioned the apocalypse? Seems prudent to avoid trivializing any real issues one might be presented with.
 
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