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(Geeks Are Sexy)   How could the remaining Hobbit films run three hours apiece? Nine theories from an expert   (geeksaresexy.net) divider line 64
    More: Amusing, Hobbit Films, camera pans, Star Tours, hobbits, The Hobbit, good looks, Dragon Age, glance  
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3263 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Dec 2012 at 11:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-20 09:31:05 AM

Sm3agol85: Milo Minderbinder: zackthebass: Milo Minderbinder: Instead of watching 9 hours of a children's story, I will have a life.

We're all so impressed at how rich and fulfilling your "life" must be.

You would be, and that is the saddest part of all.

/Seriously, 9 hours? Go play outside. Or read the book 18 times.

Go play outside? Seriously? That's your reason for demeaning people that are enjoying a very well done, classic fantasy series brought to life?
Is outside where real people play? Nothing done inside counts? Watching a movie in a theater with 100 other people isn't "real" or "outside"?
Do tell me, what do you do that is so amazing, so compelling, that people enjoying some books and movies is positively saddening to you? Unless it's base jumping the fjords of Norway every weekend, or curing cancer in your spare time, then you're just an idiot.


Friend, this a thread for an article that Makes Fun of the Movie for Being Too Long. If you want an erudite discussion of the film(s), wait for that thread. Until then, I hope you and your Dungeonmaster can learn to take yourselves a little less seriously; you will live longer and happier.
 
2012-12-20 09:39:39 AM

Milo Minderbinder: Sm3agol85: Milo Minderbinder: zackthebass: Milo Minderbinder: Instead of watching 9 hours of a children's story, I will have a life.

We're all so impressed at how rich and fulfilling your "life" must be.

You would be, and that is the saddest part of all.

/Seriously, 9 hours? Go play outside. Or read the book 18 times.

Go play outside? Seriously? That's your reason for demeaning people that are enjoying a very well done, classic fantasy series brought to life?
Is outside where real people play? Nothing done inside counts? Watching a movie in a theater with 100 other people isn't "real" or "outside"?
Do tell me, what do you do that is so amazing, so compelling, that people enjoying some books and movies is positively saddening to you? Unless it's base jumping the fjords of Norway every weekend, or curing cancer in your spare time, then you're just an idiot.

Friend, this a thread for an article that Makes Fun of the Movie for Being Too Long. If you want an erudite discussion of the film(s), wait for that thread. Until then, I hope you and your Dungeonmaster can learn to take yourselves a little less seriously; you will live longer and happier.


Leave the guy alone. He's gotta be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2012-12-20 10:01:22 AM
Simple... =-)

The first third of the Hobbit (the book) ends with the dwarves scrambling up the trees to avoid the wargs and gobins... so far, we're right on track.

Also, Gandalf is still with them, so we've still got all the major characters.

The second third of the Hobbit ends with the dwarves and Bilbo floating down the river towards Laketown... again, another good point for a break.

Gandalf has not been with them since they entered Mirkwook, so they'll show his trip to (somewhere) to meet Elrond / Galadriel / Saruman / etc... to convince them that a strike on the Necromancer is necessary...

He succeeds and they gather their forces to move on Dol Guldur... this gives us plenty of screentime for Tharkûn... ;-)

Third movie: opens with the dwarves and Bilbo arriving at Laketown, crashing the party, and beginning preparations to head to the mountain.

During this, Bilbo wonders what the wizard's up to...

... leading to the assault on the Necromancer...

When it's over, Gandalf explains to his allies that it's now more important than ever that the dragon must die, because that will deny Sauron a great ally in the upcoming war...

He then leaves to join them and gets to the Lonely Mountain just before the Battle of Five Armies...

If you want to ~really~ play him sneaky... he could have alerted the eagles ~before~ leaving to join the Dwarves...

Easily three - three hour movies... ;-)
 
2012-12-20 10:33:21 AM

Ishkur: By the time the events in LOTR rolled around he was nowhere to be found and wouldn't be of much help even if he was.


I'm pretty sure he shows up early in Fellowship while Frodo and Sam are making their way to Bree. I don't remember exactly, but I believe it's Radagast who gives Gandalf the news that makes him miss the rendezvous and send Aragorn instead.
 
2012-12-20 11:25:56 AM
Its not bird crap. Its pine pitch.
 
2012-12-20 11:35:04 AM

zackthebass: Milo Minderbinder: Instead of watching 9 hours of a children's story, I will have a life.

We're all so impressed at how rich and fulfilling your "life" must be.


Especially so important he can spend time on Fark biatching that he doesn't have time to waste because of his important life.
 
2012-12-20 02:00:34 PM

miniflea: Jackson could make a thirty hour film of the LOTR appendices and I would love every minute of it, but I recognize that I am in the minority. I'm still holding out some small hope that once the last billion is wrung from the Hobbit, they will start filming parts of the Silmarillion. The Akallabeth would also make a fantastic movie.

A man can dream.


There are some very "modern" political parallels in the Fall of Númenor:

1.) Númenor was THE superpower of the Second Age, even Sauron didn't mess with them, (at least directly)

2.) Númenor started out as an example of what all mankind should strive towards, but as the centuries passed, they got really militarily powerful and economically greedy.

3.) The last King had the attitude of "either you are with us, or you are against us"


Yeah, I'd watch this....
 
2012-12-20 02:39:22 PM

Forbidden Doughnut: miniflea: Jackson could make a thirty hour film of the LOTR appendices and I would love every minute of it, but I recognize that I am in the minority. I'm still holding out some small hope that once the last billion is wrung from the Hobbit, they will start filming parts of the Silmarillion. The Akallabeth would also make a fantastic movie.

A man can dream.

There are some very "modern" political parallels in the Fall of Númenor:

1.) Númenor was THE superpower of the Second Age, even Sauron didn't mess with them, (at least directly)

2.) Númenor started out as an example of what all mankind should strive towards, but as the centuries passed, they got really militarily powerful and economically greedy.

3.) The last King had the attitude of "either you are with us, or you are against us"


Yeah, I'd watch this....


One note by Tolkien indicated the Numenoreans had airships and other (relatively) high tech things. I'd really love to see that visualized.

If not a movie, maybe at least an abstract short film made by Weta as a "History of Middle Earth" type project.
 
2012-12-20 02:52:39 PM

Rockbender: so they'll show his trip to (somewhere) to meet Elrond / Galadriel / Saruman / etc... to convince them that a strike on the Necromancer is necessary...;-)


They already sorta did. When they had their meeting in Rivendale, Saruman dismissed Rhadagasts reports of the necromancer. He does that because he wants to find a way to get his own hands on the ring that was lost.
 
2012-12-20 05:17:05 PM

Englebert Slaptyback: Maybe they'll perform "Only Love Can Pad the Film".


Heh, one can only hope!


The All-Powerful Atheismo: Actually I think if he just films somebody reading it out loud, it might run around 9 hours. If there is extra time he can just fade to black over and over while the reader names the descendants of the line of Durin in its totality.


As long as I have enough time to hop to the bathroom and not miss anything, it's all good.
 
2012-12-20 05:56:57 PM

StrangeQ: Rockbender: so they'll show his trip to (somewhere) to meet Elrond / Galadriel / Saruman / etc... to convince them that a strike on the Necromancer is necessary...;-)

They already sorta did. When they had their meeting in Rivendale, Saruman dismissed Rhadagasts reports of the necromancer. He does that because he wants to find a way to get his own hands on the ring that was lost.


Ah... I should have commented first that I haven't seen the movie yet... I'm going to see it on Saturday night (with a pretty girl) =-)

Still, there could be a second meeting where they finally convince him (or threaten to go without him... denying him a chance to scoop up the Ring if he ~doesn't~ go)
 
2012-12-20 08:18:09 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: The All-Powerful Atheismo: Actually I think if he just films somebody reading it out loud, it might run around 9 hours. If there is extra time he can just fade to black over and over while the reader names the descendants of the line of Durin in its totality.

As long as I have enough time to hop to the bathroom and not miss anything, it's all good.


I recommend taking your bathroom breaks during the singing.
 
2012-12-20 10:07:15 PM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: I recommend taking your bathroom breaks during the singing.


Heh, duly and truly noted and quoted!
 
2012-12-21 03:05:37 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: The All-Powerful Atheismo: I recommend taking your bathroom breaks during the singing.

Heh, duly and truly noted and quoted!


♫ Twenty-minute bathroom breaks
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! ♫
 
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