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(My Fox Chicago)   Note: If your car runs out of gas, it may be best not to break into a house, play with the cat, eat a coffee cake, play a round of darts, turn on the Christmas tree lights, then try to steal two cans of beer and a box of Hot Pockets   (myfoxchicago.com) divider line 35
    More: Dumbass, Christmas lights, Hot Pockets, Chevy Malibu, frozen pizzas, pastries, St. Nick  
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2347 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Dec 2012 at 2:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



35 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-19 09:05:33 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-19 09:08:48 PM
I could accept that headline until the mention of coffee cakes.

Now, I'm not so sure.

:-/
 
2012-12-19 09:15:38 PM
Yeah, everyone knows. Steal the beer and Hot Pockets  first
 
2012-12-19 09:43:36 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Yeah, everyone knows. Steal the beer and Hot Pockets  first



Yeah, duh.
 
2012-12-19 09:52:17 PM
Done in one.
 
2012-12-19 09:58:07 PM

cameroncrazy1984: Yeah, everyone knows. Steal the beer and Hot Pockets  first


I'd go for the coffee cake first, but only if it was av crumb top.
 
2012-12-19 10:29:01 PM
posttrib.suntimes.com
"So much for my career as Tom Berenger's stunt double...."
 
2012-12-19 10:54:13 PM
cache.blippitt.com
 
2012-12-20 01:36:55 AM

cretinbob: [cache.blippitt.com image 370x265]


coffee cakes rule.
 
2012-12-20 01:42:24 AM
We look for things...
farm3.static.flickr.com
Things to make us go...
 
2012-12-20 02:56:27 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I could accept that headline until the mention of coffee cakes.

Now, I'm not so sure.

:-/


No, it was the cat. Everyone knows cats don't play.
 
2012-12-20 02:58:39 AM
Why not just unwrap the Hot Pockets and place them directly in the toilet, cut out the middleman.
 
2012-12-20 03:52:31 AM
So, what was he on?

I guessing a xanax cocktail.

Ban Xanax. It's pure evil.
 
2012-12-20 04:03:43 AM

shanrick: [i.imgur.com image 192x256]


Pothead Pockeeeeeettssss
 
2012-12-20 04:17:38 AM
Subby...you forgot the cheese
 
i.walmartimages.com
 
2012-12-20 07:02:07 AM
Well, once you've committed the first felony, might as well enjoy yourself.
 
2012-12-20 07:13:41 AM

cameroncrazy1984: Yeah, everyone knows. Steal the beer and Hot Pockets  first


Eat the coffee cake while waiting for the hot pocket to cook.
 
2012-12-20 07:14:05 AM
Except for the Hot Pockets, that sounds like a pretty nice day.
 
2012-12-20 07:40:43 AM
FTFA: The residents did not claim the two glass marijuana pipes that police found in Bailey's car.

i1256.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-20 07:43:45 AM
Um, what type of hot pockets/beer?  B/c that might make it all worth it.
 
2012-12-20 08:25:54 AM
Hot Pockets+beer=awesome
 
2012-12-20 08:33:23 AM
It must be nice up on the top of Mt. Perfect, Subby.
 
2012-12-20 08:43:30 AM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: I could accept that headline until the mention of coffee cakes.

Now, I'm not so sure.

:-/


I wonder if they were...DRAKE'S coffee cakes...
 
2012-12-20 09:02:42 AM
It is also best to not offer to pay the cashier in meth after you have pumped the gas.
 
2012-12-20 09:49:23 AM
"I was looking at a box of hot pockets and they have a warning on the side. It's like 'Warning! You just bought Hot Pockets! Hope you're drunk or heading home to a trailer! You hillbilly enjoy the next NASCAR event!'

~Jim Gaffigan
 
2012-12-20 10:24:30 AM

SlothB77: cameroncrazy1984: Yeah, everyone knows. Steal the beer and Hot Pockets  first

Eat the coffee cake while waiting for the hot pocket to cook cool.

 
2012-12-20 10:30:54 AM
Sounds like he was good to go, until he decided to knock on their bedroom door. Was he thinking he'd get a lucky Pierre invitation?

forevertwentysomethings.com
 
2012-12-20 10:36:00 AM
Alright hot shot, why don't you tell us what you do when your car runs out of gas?
 
2012-12-20 10:54:53 AM
I would leave the car, run to a nearby farm house, have a Dr. Pepper, then call the police.
 
2012-12-20 11:21:33 AM

Langdon Alger: I would leave the car, run to a nearby farm house, have a Dr. Pepper, then call the police.

 

That's what you're supposed to be in the event of a plane crash, dummy!
 
2012-12-20 12:06:45 PM

doczoidberg: Langdon Alger: I would leave the car, run to a nearby farm house, have a Dr. Pepper, then call the police.

That's what you're supposed to be in the event of a plane crash, dummy!


it still works in most emergency situations---besides Carlin said it so it's probably your best plan of action.
 
2012-12-20 12:29:26 PM
How about if the cat & I play a round of darts for the Hot Pockets & we just call it a night?

/our cat likes Hot Pockets
 
2012-12-20 01:11:02 PM

shanrick: [i.imgur.com image 192x256]


Exactly.
 
2012-12-20 05:00:49 PM

Loaf's Tray: I wonder if they were...DRAKE'S coffee cakes...


I'm telling you, man, it changes the whole landscape!


Gyrfalcon: No, it was the cat. Everyone knows cats don't play.


It's not so much "playing" as it is "shining the laser pointer on the ground and laughing hysterically."
 
2012-12-20 06:35:01 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Loaf's Tray: I wonder if they were...DRAKE'S coffee cakes...

I'm telling you, man, it changes the whole landscape!


Gyrfalcon: No, it was the cat. Everyone knows cats don't play.

It's not so much "playing" as it is "shining the laser pointer on the ground and laughing hysterically."


Good thing this guy didn't pay his maintenance fees, no?
 
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